just_1_word | 41.7. Information
41.7. Information
Co-written with doesntwaltz
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Mike came into the living area of the small Soho loft apartment, a large mug of sweet black tea nursed in his hands. He approached Leila hesitantly, still a little awkward sharing a home space with basically a stranger. But said stranger was Robbo's wife, which made it much easier to breach the gap... if only it didn't have to be in these horrible circumstances. He leaned close to her and put the mug into her hands, his own hand cupping around her fingers for a few moments to make sure she actually had hold of it before he sat down beside her. He fished his cell phone from his pocket and placed it on the trendy coffee table in front of them. "I finally managed to get through to a mate with a lil bit of info," he revealed, speaking quietly.
He wasn't even sure if she wanted to listen to him; she had been in a a daze since she got the official phone call from Rob's base alerting her that he was missing in action. And on her birthday of all fucking times. There had been no further info. She had managed to get the news out to Mike and the next morning, he brought his stuff over and had been staying with her ever since. Her cousin and his wife were also squeezed into the spare room, but were out at the bar at that moment. Then there was the other cousin who's wedding was just a week away, with he and his wife making noises that they wanted to postpone in the wake of the news. Leila kept telling them no, though. Mike just stayed quiet, keeping any opinion to himself while he nursed the baby girl in his lap so her Mum and Dad could focus on Leila. Every day following for the whole week, Mike had spent on the phone or his laptop trying to get any info from any contacts. This last phone call was finally successful, but only just.
Leila had a hold on the mug, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge that it was something she might actually want to drink. She hadn't been able to drink, or eat since the news. It made for a fun hangover the morning after her so-called birthday celebrations. She had felt like she was going to die, and for a small, tiny moment, she had welcomed it. If Rob was MIA, and if he was dead, then she didn't really want to have to deal with a life without him. Not when she'd only just found him.
Her blue eyes finally moved from the coffee table to Mike's face, recognition slowly setting in. She had been grateful when he'd moved in, just unable to express it. She had been glad when Luke and Tab had come too, the words just couldn't get past her lips. The only thing she had been able to get out was a vehement 'no' when Ali and Andy tried repeatedly to postpone the wedding. Leila wasn't having it. At least someone in the family needed to be happy.
She blinked, clearing her throat. Her voice cracked from disuse, and she wet her lips. "What info?"
Mike wasn't sure if telling her what he learned would really help or hinder, though. It was basically just more speculation, but better than nothing, right? "My mate, in my unit. I was tryin' to get a hold of him all week, but he's only just gotten back to main base. He was my partner when we brought Rob in when he was ill. He said what Rob told you in that message was accurate. He recovered from the sickness and was cleared to go back to duty. He got sent back to where we picked him up from. Bear with me when I can't give you specific details. I apologise for that. It ain't like knowin' place names will make this any easier, though." He paused, trying to maintain his composure. Truth was, one of his closest mates could be dead and trying to keep his calm for Leila was getting harder and harder as the days progressed. The chances of Rob returning from an MIA the more time passed became less and less. "He told me that the day Rob went back, there were a series of battles that broke out on the outskirts of one of the small towns, not far from where the temporary base was set up. Rob would have been involved. He's an expert in what he does. There were some planted IEDs in that general area that our side didn't know about. Improvsied Explosive Devices. Common in these types of wars. They're basically roadside bombs, constructed by the opposition and planted in areas our guys are headin'. There was a bunch of explosions that day, and our guys were returnin' casualties to main base all night. Some of Rob's squadron were there, but he wasn't. There's been no trace of him or two others from his unit. That's why they've tagged him MIA. By law, you had to be notified."
Leila winced at the image of a bomb going off near Rob, her mind illustrating Mike's story. She didn't want to think about Rob getting blown up. She didn't even want to think about Rob in battle. He was in the Army, and it was what he did. It was just easier when she didn't imagine the details. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing really came out. She could feel the lump in her throat that wanted to break, but she wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Mike. It was enough he had to deal with this when it was his friend. He didn't need the wife he barely knew breaking down into a watery mess, too. "Thank you," she rasped out. "I know... I know it's taken a lot of effort. I thought it would feel better if I knew. I'm not sure it does."
Mike nodded, staring down at his feet through his linked hands for a few long moments. "Ain't really been any effort, Leila," he admitted in a quiet voice. "I'd do anythin' for him. I wasn't even really sure if I should tell you what I heard, but you seem to be the sort of person who would prefer to know all than know nothin'. Kinda like me. You process better when you ain't in the dark, no matter how much it hurts to hear. It's just... there ain't any easy way to talk about any of this. Part of me is kinda wishin' that he got swept up in a battle and saw a way out, maybe went AWOL again. I doubt it, though. He wouldn't. He would as soon as kill himself than that again. He was horrified when he realised he was AWOL the first time, but your mind plays tricks on you. It would be easier thinkin' he did that than the alternative. Bottom line is, it's been a week. If he's out there alive, trapped, whatever, a week without food and water in the wake of an illness..." He stopped again, clearing his throat. "But he's a tough cookie. Knows all the tips to survival and shit. If he ain't too injured."
Leila pushed a finger behind her glasses to rub at her tired eyes. She hated this. The only reason she bothered having a shower in the mornings was because she needed something to do. She even went to work out of routine and because she didn't want to let Luke down. She just knew she had been a liability though. Her mind on Rob, and not on her job. It was why Luke had finally just given her some time off to clear her head. She wasn't exactly sure how long it was going to take to get clear. She was pretty sure it would only clear once Rob was safe. If Rob was safe. She looked at Mike again. "What do you really think? And don't bullshit me, okay. I don't need to be treated with kid gloves. I've probably already imagined the worse. It's been a week, and you don't think he's coming back, do you?"
Mike sighed tiredly, his own sleep interrupted with nightmares that whole week as Rob being missing stirred up a lot of bad memories in his mind. "I'm a medic," he began and sat back on the sofa, arms folding across his chest as he looked up at some pictures on the wall opposite the sofa. "Less than two weeks ago, he was really ill. I don't doubt he was strong enough and fit enough to go back out but without proper nutrition and regular hydration, his body might not have the natural devices to keep him alive for very long. If he's been badly hurt, he might have lost a lot of blood. But no one knows. In sayin' that, he might have water nearby, just an inability to alert any one from our side that he needs help. It might just be safer for him not to call for help if the enemy are nearby." He raised his head again, a small frown on his forehead as he watched her. "I just have to check... you ain't expectin' or anythin', are you? I mean, Rob said you ain't, but you mighta had news since he shipped out. Ain't uncommon. Not that you have to tell me, just if you are, you should be takin' care of yourself. You should be anyway, but I didn't wanna step on your toes and force feed you or anythin'."
Leila listened, and she wished to go different words were coming out of Mike's mouth. She exhaled a slow breath and managed to take a sip of her tea. It was stupid because she had understood the realities of Rob's work when she'd agreed to marry him. She just hadn't expected to face those realities so soon. If Luke asked her again if it was worth it, she would still say yes. She loved Rob with all her heart. That was why it was hurting so much. If she didn't care she wouldn't be feeling so empty. She glanced at Mike, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "No, I'm not expecting. We were more than safe. And I will take care of myself... eventually. I just feel like my brain can't quite get the messages through to the rest of my body. I know I need to eat, and drink, but I can't quite seem to get the motivation to move. I'm scared. I'm scared, because at the end of the day, how is no news good news? And then when I get news, it's vague and official, and no one seems to know anything. You not included since you did actually find something out. I hate the idea of him out there even if he's trained for this. I want to be angry, but I'm too tired. I want to cry, but I'm too embarrassed. He warned me about this. Luke warned me about this. You warned me about this..."
"No one is trained for this," Mike had to admit quietly. "You get trained for combat, for survival. You don't get trained to stay alive if you're injured, or to stop yourself dehydratin' if you can't get to a drink. You don't get taught how to get help if you can't. That's the difficult part. But Robbo is really skilled in what he does. If he can do anythin' to help himself or anyone else, he'll be doin' it, without fail. You ain't got nothin' to be embarrassed about. I know this is awkward with me, with us ain't knowin' each other too well. I've been havin' nightmares all week and didn't want to let on to you. Just human nature, I think. But you don't need to hide anythin', especially not in your own home. You gotta process it all how you can. Thing is, all the warnin' in the world wouldn't have prepared you for the reality. How could it? He might not come home. Some wives wait forever for their husband's to come home and they just... don't."
"Nightmares?" Leila frowned in concern, finally breaking out of her daze when it sunk in that someone else was hurting. "Are you okay? Do you need anything? Is Rob the only one MIA? I never asked... I just don't--I can't understand why people do this shit to each other. I don't get it, and I'm not sure I ever will. I'll try not to keep hiding, but I don't just want to suddenly burst into tears and freak you out. I'll save those for Lulu," she told him with a wry smile. "I just want him to be okay, and I feel stupid for it. I think I'd be one of those who waited forever. How can you move on without knowing for sure what happened? It might be like Ali's BFF who was dead for a year or something, and then just came back. People had tried to move on. He was married, and his wife had started to move on, and then just couldn't when he came back. All the old feelings, you know? And his current girlfriend's knocked up, his ex is knocked up, too. They created this huge mess just so they could try and be together again."
Mike shook his head. "You won't freak me out, I promise. Robbo himself was strugglin' to contain his emotions when he was tellin' me all 'bout you. I understand. I mean, I ain't ever been in this position with shippin' out attached, but I can imagine how it would feel. Robbo's a close friend and I have felt constantly sick since you told me the news. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. I really ain't gonna mind if you lose it when you need to." He raised his eyebrows. "Well, shit. That's some busy cock the guy had. Lotta kids on the go there. But it all came out in the wash, right? Or is it still a big mess? Your cousins are nice guys. Worried 'bout you, though, understandably. I just really wish I had somethin' nice to say right now, somethin' to help you, but there ain't anythin' that's gonna stop you feelin' like you are. And I'm fine, I promise. Just happens sometimes. I see some pretty nasty things, I guess hearin' 'bout Rob has stirred stuff up. Rob's missin' with two other soldiers from his unit. A young private, this is his first postin' and another dude who is a Specialist, same as Rob used to be before he got promoted. Dude called Pete. He trained with Robbo, I think. They both got transferred to NY, but Pete went about a year ago."
"Pete?" Leila's gut twisted, and before she could stop herself the tears started to come. She held her hand up in apology, nearly losing her grip on the tea. "Oh fuck, not Pete!" He had been the messenger when Rob had been sick. The one to email her to let him know he was okay. She had no idea why hearing he was missing as well opened the flood gates, but it did. She started to sob in earnest, her heartache pouring out.
Mike didn't understand. Did she know Pete? Rob hadn't mentioned anything about that. Mike barely knew Pete himself. Only assisted him once when the guy almost lost a finger out in the middle of a battle. He hugged her, though, not really sure what to say now she was crying. It had to help her, though, even just to release some of the pressure. He felt drained and exhausted himself. Being on the phone all week with mates in various places and ranks throughout the Army had been tiring. No one had any real answers though, and it was even harder for Mike to know even if there was more info, it would be classified. Rob could actually be knowingly dead and the information just not released yet, especially if it occured from a slip up in tactics. That was something he was definitely not going to mention to Leila, though. "I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.
Leila hugged him back tightly like her life depended on it. When she'd stopped crying enough to let herself speak, she sniffed loudly and took a gasping breath. "Pete... he was the one that emailed me when Rob couldn't get through to me. Told me Rob was sick. I'm sorry, I know it was a random reaction. I didn't even meet the guy, but he just... he managed to send me that email, so I kind of feel like I owe him. I was hoping I'd get to meet him some time."
"Well, you might. Even if we knew he was okay, I don't know when you would meet him anyway," Mike told her and managed a small smile. "It's okay, you know. I get it now. When you're out there in those environments, in that situation, you're like brothers. You exist to survive out there and you go through the absolute worst together. I ain't sure how much Robbo told you. He might tell you more when he sees you next. But when you get shipped out, are there for months, and then come home again, it's real hard. It's hard to just switch off, things haunt you and stay with you. Right now, even more I heard the news he was MIA, I was tryin' to transition back to normalcy and wasn't really succeedin' so well. That's why when you're out there, you rely on each other and lean on each other to get through. Ain't nothin' wrong gettin' upset 'bout Pete. He's probably like a brother to Robbo bein' in the same unit."
"He did mention something," Leila all but whispered as she tried to wipe at her eyes, pushing her glasses up onto her head. "Said it would make it a little easier knowing I was here to come home to. I'm sorry this has made it worse, and I hate myself for being selfish enough to want you here just because it helps knowing someone gets it. If I can do something for you, you just have to let me know, okay? Please."
Mike had to nod slightly. "Yeah, I'm sure there could be argument in having someone to come home to after all that..." he murmured and managed to catch himself before he sighed. Sitting here with Leila, watching her grieve for her missing husband, Mike just couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was forcing himself to miss out on and dump a whole heap of loneliness in it's place. He still couldn't believe his good friend might not come home from the war and that was a coldly sobering thought, like being doused in iced water.
Rob is tacticalmind and used with permission. All other muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 3,188
Co-written with doesntwaltz
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Mike came into the living area of the small Soho loft apartment, a large mug of sweet black tea nursed in his hands. He approached Leila hesitantly, still a little awkward sharing a home space with basically a stranger. But said stranger was Robbo's wife, which made it much easier to breach the gap... if only it didn't have to be in these horrible circumstances. He leaned close to her and put the mug into her hands, his own hand cupping around her fingers for a few moments to make sure she actually had hold of it before he sat down beside her. He fished his cell phone from his pocket and placed it on the trendy coffee table in front of them. "I finally managed to get through to a mate with a lil bit of info," he revealed, speaking quietly.
He wasn't even sure if she wanted to listen to him; she had been in a a daze since she got the official phone call from Rob's base alerting her that he was missing in action. And on her birthday of all fucking times. There had been no further info. She had managed to get the news out to Mike and the next morning, he brought his stuff over and had been staying with her ever since. Her cousin and his wife were also squeezed into the spare room, but were out at the bar at that moment. Then there was the other cousin who's wedding was just a week away, with he and his wife making noises that they wanted to postpone in the wake of the news. Leila kept telling them no, though. Mike just stayed quiet, keeping any opinion to himself while he nursed the baby girl in his lap so her Mum and Dad could focus on Leila. Every day following for the whole week, Mike had spent on the phone or his laptop trying to get any info from any contacts. This last phone call was finally successful, but only just.
Leila had a hold on the mug, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge that it was something she might actually want to drink. She hadn't been able to drink, or eat since the news. It made for a fun hangover the morning after her so-called birthday celebrations. She had felt like she was going to die, and for a small, tiny moment, she had welcomed it. If Rob was MIA, and if he was dead, then she didn't really want to have to deal with a life without him. Not when she'd only just found him.
Her blue eyes finally moved from the coffee table to Mike's face, recognition slowly setting in. She had been grateful when he'd moved in, just unable to express it. She had been glad when Luke and Tab had come too, the words just couldn't get past her lips. The only thing she had been able to get out was a vehement 'no' when Ali and Andy tried repeatedly to postpone the wedding. Leila wasn't having it. At least someone in the family needed to be happy.
She blinked, clearing her throat. Her voice cracked from disuse, and she wet her lips. "What info?"
Mike wasn't sure if telling her what he learned would really help or hinder, though. It was basically just more speculation, but better than nothing, right? "My mate, in my unit. I was tryin' to get a hold of him all week, but he's only just gotten back to main base. He was my partner when we brought Rob in when he was ill. He said what Rob told you in that message was accurate. He recovered from the sickness and was cleared to go back to duty. He got sent back to where we picked him up from. Bear with me when I can't give you specific details. I apologise for that. It ain't like knowin' place names will make this any easier, though." He paused, trying to maintain his composure. Truth was, one of his closest mates could be dead and trying to keep his calm for Leila was getting harder and harder as the days progressed. The chances of Rob returning from an MIA the more time passed became less and less. "He told me that the day Rob went back, there were a series of battles that broke out on the outskirts of one of the small towns, not far from where the temporary base was set up. Rob would have been involved. He's an expert in what he does. There were some planted IEDs in that general area that our side didn't know about. Improvsied Explosive Devices. Common in these types of wars. They're basically roadside bombs, constructed by the opposition and planted in areas our guys are headin'. There was a bunch of explosions that day, and our guys were returnin' casualties to main base all night. Some of Rob's squadron were there, but he wasn't. There's been no trace of him or two others from his unit. That's why they've tagged him MIA. By law, you had to be notified."
Leila winced at the image of a bomb going off near Rob, her mind illustrating Mike's story. She didn't want to think about Rob getting blown up. She didn't even want to think about Rob in battle. He was in the Army, and it was what he did. It was just easier when she didn't imagine the details. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing really came out. She could feel the lump in her throat that wanted to break, but she wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Mike. It was enough he had to deal with this when it was his friend. He didn't need the wife he barely knew breaking down into a watery mess, too. "Thank you," she rasped out. "I know... I know it's taken a lot of effort. I thought it would feel better if I knew. I'm not sure it does."
Mike nodded, staring down at his feet through his linked hands for a few long moments. "Ain't really been any effort, Leila," he admitted in a quiet voice. "I'd do anythin' for him. I wasn't even really sure if I should tell you what I heard, but you seem to be the sort of person who would prefer to know all than know nothin'. Kinda like me. You process better when you ain't in the dark, no matter how much it hurts to hear. It's just... there ain't any easy way to talk about any of this. Part of me is kinda wishin' that he got swept up in a battle and saw a way out, maybe went AWOL again. I doubt it, though. He wouldn't. He would as soon as kill himself than that again. He was horrified when he realised he was AWOL the first time, but your mind plays tricks on you. It would be easier thinkin' he did that than the alternative. Bottom line is, it's been a week. If he's out there alive, trapped, whatever, a week without food and water in the wake of an illness..." He stopped again, clearing his throat. "But he's a tough cookie. Knows all the tips to survival and shit. If he ain't too injured."
Leila pushed a finger behind her glasses to rub at her tired eyes. She hated this. The only reason she bothered having a shower in the mornings was because she needed something to do. She even went to work out of routine and because she didn't want to let Luke down. She just knew she had been a liability though. Her mind on Rob, and not on her job. It was why Luke had finally just given her some time off to clear her head. She wasn't exactly sure how long it was going to take to get clear. She was pretty sure it would only clear once Rob was safe. If Rob was safe. She looked at Mike again. "What do you really think? And don't bullshit me, okay. I don't need to be treated with kid gloves. I've probably already imagined the worse. It's been a week, and you don't think he's coming back, do you?"
Mike sighed tiredly, his own sleep interrupted with nightmares that whole week as Rob being missing stirred up a lot of bad memories in his mind. "I'm a medic," he began and sat back on the sofa, arms folding across his chest as he looked up at some pictures on the wall opposite the sofa. "Less than two weeks ago, he was really ill. I don't doubt he was strong enough and fit enough to go back out but without proper nutrition and regular hydration, his body might not have the natural devices to keep him alive for very long. If he's been badly hurt, he might have lost a lot of blood. But no one knows. In sayin' that, he might have water nearby, just an inability to alert any one from our side that he needs help. It might just be safer for him not to call for help if the enemy are nearby." He raised his head again, a small frown on his forehead as he watched her. "I just have to check... you ain't expectin' or anythin', are you? I mean, Rob said you ain't, but you mighta had news since he shipped out. Ain't uncommon. Not that you have to tell me, just if you are, you should be takin' care of yourself. You should be anyway, but I didn't wanna step on your toes and force feed you or anythin'."
Leila listened, and she wished to go different words were coming out of Mike's mouth. She exhaled a slow breath and managed to take a sip of her tea. It was stupid because she had understood the realities of Rob's work when she'd agreed to marry him. She just hadn't expected to face those realities so soon. If Luke asked her again if it was worth it, she would still say yes. She loved Rob with all her heart. That was why it was hurting so much. If she didn't care she wouldn't be feeling so empty. She glanced at Mike, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "No, I'm not expecting. We were more than safe. And I will take care of myself... eventually. I just feel like my brain can't quite get the messages through to the rest of my body. I know I need to eat, and drink, but I can't quite seem to get the motivation to move. I'm scared. I'm scared, because at the end of the day, how is no news good news? And then when I get news, it's vague and official, and no one seems to know anything. You not included since you did actually find something out. I hate the idea of him out there even if he's trained for this. I want to be angry, but I'm too tired. I want to cry, but I'm too embarrassed. He warned me about this. Luke warned me about this. You warned me about this..."
"No one is trained for this," Mike had to admit quietly. "You get trained for combat, for survival. You don't get trained to stay alive if you're injured, or to stop yourself dehydratin' if you can't get to a drink. You don't get taught how to get help if you can't. That's the difficult part. But Robbo is really skilled in what he does. If he can do anythin' to help himself or anyone else, he'll be doin' it, without fail. You ain't got nothin' to be embarrassed about. I know this is awkward with me, with us ain't knowin' each other too well. I've been havin' nightmares all week and didn't want to let on to you. Just human nature, I think. But you don't need to hide anythin', especially not in your own home. You gotta process it all how you can. Thing is, all the warnin' in the world wouldn't have prepared you for the reality. How could it? He might not come home. Some wives wait forever for their husband's to come home and they just... don't."
"Nightmares?" Leila frowned in concern, finally breaking out of her daze when it sunk in that someone else was hurting. "Are you okay? Do you need anything? Is Rob the only one MIA? I never asked... I just don't--I can't understand why people do this shit to each other. I don't get it, and I'm not sure I ever will. I'll try not to keep hiding, but I don't just want to suddenly burst into tears and freak you out. I'll save those for Lulu," she told him with a wry smile. "I just want him to be okay, and I feel stupid for it. I think I'd be one of those who waited forever. How can you move on without knowing for sure what happened? It might be like Ali's BFF who was dead for a year or something, and then just came back. People had tried to move on. He was married, and his wife had started to move on, and then just couldn't when he came back. All the old feelings, you know? And his current girlfriend's knocked up, his ex is knocked up, too. They created this huge mess just so they could try and be together again."
Mike shook his head. "You won't freak me out, I promise. Robbo himself was strugglin' to contain his emotions when he was tellin' me all 'bout you. I understand. I mean, I ain't ever been in this position with shippin' out attached, but I can imagine how it would feel. Robbo's a close friend and I have felt constantly sick since you told me the news. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. I really ain't gonna mind if you lose it when you need to." He raised his eyebrows. "Well, shit. That's some busy cock the guy had. Lotta kids on the go there. But it all came out in the wash, right? Or is it still a big mess? Your cousins are nice guys. Worried 'bout you, though, understandably. I just really wish I had somethin' nice to say right now, somethin' to help you, but there ain't anythin' that's gonna stop you feelin' like you are. And I'm fine, I promise. Just happens sometimes. I see some pretty nasty things, I guess hearin' 'bout Rob has stirred stuff up. Rob's missin' with two other soldiers from his unit. A young private, this is his first postin' and another dude who is a Specialist, same as Rob used to be before he got promoted. Dude called Pete. He trained with Robbo, I think. They both got transferred to NY, but Pete went about a year ago."
"Pete?" Leila's gut twisted, and before she could stop herself the tears started to come. She held her hand up in apology, nearly losing her grip on the tea. "Oh fuck, not Pete!" He had been the messenger when Rob had been sick. The one to email her to let him know he was okay. She had no idea why hearing he was missing as well opened the flood gates, but it did. She started to sob in earnest, her heartache pouring out.
Mike didn't understand. Did she know Pete? Rob hadn't mentioned anything about that. Mike barely knew Pete himself. Only assisted him once when the guy almost lost a finger out in the middle of a battle. He hugged her, though, not really sure what to say now she was crying. It had to help her, though, even just to release some of the pressure. He felt drained and exhausted himself. Being on the phone all week with mates in various places and ranks throughout the Army had been tiring. No one had any real answers though, and it was even harder for Mike to know even if there was more info, it would be classified. Rob could actually be knowingly dead and the information just not released yet, especially if it occured from a slip up in tactics. That was something he was definitely not going to mention to Leila, though. "I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.
Leila hugged him back tightly like her life depended on it. When she'd stopped crying enough to let herself speak, she sniffed loudly and took a gasping breath. "Pete... he was the one that emailed me when Rob couldn't get through to me. Told me Rob was sick. I'm sorry, I know it was a random reaction. I didn't even meet the guy, but he just... he managed to send me that email, so I kind of feel like I owe him. I was hoping I'd get to meet him some time."
"Well, you might. Even if we knew he was okay, I don't know when you would meet him anyway," Mike told her and managed a small smile. "It's okay, you know. I get it now. When you're out there in those environments, in that situation, you're like brothers. You exist to survive out there and you go through the absolute worst together. I ain't sure how much Robbo told you. He might tell you more when he sees you next. But when you get shipped out, are there for months, and then come home again, it's real hard. It's hard to just switch off, things haunt you and stay with you. Right now, even more I heard the news he was MIA, I was tryin' to transition back to normalcy and wasn't really succeedin' so well. That's why when you're out there, you rely on each other and lean on each other to get through. Ain't nothin' wrong gettin' upset 'bout Pete. He's probably like a brother to Robbo bein' in the same unit."
"He did mention something," Leila all but whispered as she tried to wipe at her eyes, pushing her glasses up onto her head. "Said it would make it a little easier knowing I was here to come home to. I'm sorry this has made it worse, and I hate myself for being selfish enough to want you here just because it helps knowing someone gets it. If I can do something for you, you just have to let me know, okay? Please."
Mike had to nod slightly. "Yeah, I'm sure there could be argument in having someone to come home to after all that..." he murmured and managed to catch himself before he sighed. Sitting here with Leila, watching her grieve for her missing husband, Mike just couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was forcing himself to miss out on and dump a whole heap of loneliness in it's place. He still couldn't believe his good friend might not come home from the war and that was a coldly sobering thought, like being doused in iced water.
Rob is tacticalmind and used with permission. All other muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 3,188