(no subject)
Title: Andy's Interview
Chapter: 81
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Jack Harkness
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour, smut
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: See title, really.
FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist
81 |
IM | 81
Interview transcript: Torchwood Employees 005 and 657; PC Andrew Davidson
Date: 12/08/2009
Time: 15:00
Archived at: 16 - 12 - 57 - 30/E
Torchwood Institute interviewing prospective employee PC Andrew Davidson as to suitability for the role, relevant experience and character assessment
All identification confirmed and verified by INTERPOL
CJH: Captain Jack Harkness (005)
MIJ: Mr Ianto Jones (657)
PCA: Police Constable Andrew Davidson, CPD
INTERVIEW COMMENCES 15:03, 12/08/2009
MIJ: Good morning, PC Davidson. How are you?
PCA: I’m very well, thank you. Yourselves?
MIJ: Fine, thank you. So! Jack ... would you like to begin?
CJH: Okay ... er ... so ... why ... why do you want to join Torchwood?
PCA: Because I feel I can bring a fresh eye to the team, a sense of perspective as well as excellent people skills. I’ve also got my ECDL.
CJH: Hmm. I see. So ... sorry ... what’s an ‘ECDL’?
PCA: European Computer Driving License.
CJH: ... right. Okay. That’ll ... be useful. Erm ... so what makes you think you’re the right guy for this job?
PCA: Well, my policing record is practically flawless - if I do say so myself - and I have the ability to commit myself fully to any challenge you may choose to set before me. I’m easy to work with, and teamwork is something that’s second nature to me; as is following the chain of command.
CJH: Well, okay then. Um ... Ianto?
MIJ: What?
CJH: Any questions for Mr Davidson?
MIJ: Yes but ... you’ve only asked two, Jack.
CJH: I know. I thought maybe you’d want a turn.
MIJ: ... right. Jack ... can I have a word?
INTERVIEW PAUSED AT 15:13
~*~*~*~
Ianto rounded on him in the corridor, arms folded and glaring. “Two questions? Two questions? In three hours, you came up with two questions?”
“My ... mind wandered?” offered Jack. Ianto rolled his eyes.
“I guess I’ll have to take over from here, then?”
“Sorry.” Jack’s head hung a little. “Erm ... should I go? Or ... I dunno ... sit in and look official?”
Ianto sighed. “Sit in and look official. Make notes and look busy. ‘Kay?”
He didn’t wait for a reply before returning to the interrogation room, where PC Andy was still waiting. Jack followed, feeling a little sheepish.
~*~*~*~
INTERVIEW RESUMED AT 15:16
MIJ: Sorry about that. Now ... I trust you are aware of the dangerous nature of our work?
PCA: I’ve heard about your mortality rate, yes.
MIJ: Does this daunt you? Frighten you? Excite you?
PCA: I suppose it worries me a little. But policing is all about protecting people, and you have to put the people you’re protecting before yourself, or else what’s the point in going into this line of work?
MIJ: Very good point. Did you get that, Jack?
CJH: I’m ... uh ... I got it in shorthand.
MIJ: Good. Now ... PC Davidson ... I’m going to throw some hypothetical scenarios at you, and I’d like you to be honest as to what your gut reaction would be within them. Is that okay?
PCA: Go ahead.
MIJ: So ... imagine the team has been called out, and we’ve all split up in search of an armed assailant. You’re on your own, no one around, etcetera. You spot the assailant heading down an alley. What do you think you should do?
PCA: Well, pursue the culprit at a distance and radio the rest of you as to the direction he’s going and a possible final location for him to run to. Then keep myself out of sight while the rest of the team gets there and await further orders.
MIJ: Good. Good. Okay ... so ... there’s a break in. Again, the perpetrator is armed. This time they’ve taken a hostage. Now, this hostage is clearly frightened, the assailant might possibly be intoxicated. What do you think the team should do in this situation?
PCA: Well, the textbooks say you should try and talk to the culprit, try and make them change their mind. Remind them that the person they’re threatening is a human being. But ... y’know ... that hardly ever works. So I say shoot the fucker in the leg before an innocent dies.
MIJ: [gives a small laugh] Okay ... so ... last one for now: someone pulls a gun on you. What do you do?
PCA: Keep calm, raise my hands and be compliant until a suitable window presents itself for escape. If one doesn’t present itself ... well ... I’ll have to depend on the team, won’t I?
MIJ: Right. Okay. Well, one final question.
PCA: Yes?
MIJ: Do you know how to work a coffee machine?
PCA: Erm ... I can boil a kettle, if that’s what you mean?
MIJ: Excellent. Well ... Jack and I will go away now and discuss your merits and get back to you later on this afternoon. We have your current number, yes?
PCA: Yes ... I ... er ... is this it?
MIJ: If we decide we might possibly take you on, there’s a trial period. Call it interview Stage Six.
PCA: Six?
MIJ: Oh ... yeah ... we’ve done all kind of checks and obtained several character references as clearance through earlier stages.
PCA: Oh ... I ... I see. So ... you’re serious about interviewing me then?
MIJ: ... you just had your interview.
PCA: So that really was it?
MIJ: That, and then the trial period.
PCA: Oh, okay. Well ... I’ll speak to you later this afternoon?
MIJ: Yep.
PCA: Oh ... okay then. Well, see you later.
CJH: Bye.
MIJ: Goodbye.
INTERVIEW TERMINATED, 15:28
~*~*~*~
JACK has entered the conversation
MR JONES: I want him I want him I want him I want him I want him
JACK: I don’t know, Ianto. What if he gets all cliquey with Gwen and they’re all like ‘Oh look at us PC Davidson and PC Cooper tra la la la la’?
MR JONES: ... and we’re not ‘cliquey’ with the ‘oh we’re at it like rabbits and Gwen’s not allowed in the club’?
JACK: Yes but being in love is a bit different to being in a clique.
MR JONES: ^_^
MR JONES: Back to the point. We’re understaffed, and he can work a computer.
MR JONES: I mean ... for a start he could begin transferring the 1917-1918 files into digital format. Then once he’s got weapons training I could stay behind to coordinate like you’ve been nagging me to do rather than being in the field.
JACK: Mmm. He’s not exactly ... Torchwood material.
MR JONES: How so?
JACK: He seems a bit ... wimpy ...
MR JONES: A Cardiff police officer? Wimpy?
MR JONES: ... and I’m not exactly nerves of steel.
MR JONES: His answers were good.
MR JONES: If we just take him on for the trial ...
JACK: I think maybe we could keep looking. Compare a couple more CVs.
MR JONES: Or we could stop procrastinating and get back to employing a full team?
JACK: ... I haven’t even begun procrastinating.
MR JONES: I believe the young, hip things would say: *facepalm*
JACK: :-P
MR JONES: Please, Jack. Just the trial period. See how the two of you get on?
JACK: How long is the trial period?
MR JONES: A month.
JACK: Fine. A month. Then he’s out on his ear. Okay?
MR JONES: :D
MR JONES: ... and you can take back throwing him out in a month. I promise.
JACK: Whateverrrrrr.
MR JONES: I’ll give him a ring now.
JACK: ¬_¬ I’d much rather you came down to my office.
MR JONES: I’m sure you would, but I’m too busy.
MR JONES: I’ll talk to you later.
MR JONES has left the conversation
JACK: Heyyyy that’s the IM equivalent of hanging up on me!
JACK: But Iantoooo ,... I need to give you the notes I made during the interviewwwwww
~*~*~*~
FIN
FINALLY got this more or less right. Had a bit of a mysterious block on this one - I think Silver Service might have had something to do with it - but I'm back on it now!
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic
Chapter: 81
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Jack Harkness
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour, smut
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: See title, really.
FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist
81 |
IM | 81
Interview transcript: Torchwood Employees 005 and 657; PC Andrew Davidson
Date: 12/08/2009
Time: 15:00
Archived at: 16 - 12 - 57 - 30/E
Torchwood Institute interviewing prospective employee PC Andrew Davidson as to suitability for the role, relevant experience and character assessment
All identification confirmed and verified by INTERPOL
CJH: Captain Jack Harkness (005)
MIJ: Mr Ianto Jones (657)
PCA: Police Constable Andrew Davidson, CPD
INTERVIEW COMMENCES 15:03, 12/08/2009
MIJ: Good morning, PC Davidson. How are you?
PCA: I’m very well, thank you. Yourselves?
MIJ: Fine, thank you. So! Jack ... would you like to begin?
CJH: Okay ... er ... so ... why ... why do you want to join Torchwood?
PCA: Because I feel I can bring a fresh eye to the team, a sense of perspective as well as excellent people skills. I’ve also got my ECDL.
CJH: Hmm. I see. So ... sorry ... what’s an ‘ECDL’?
PCA: European Computer Driving License.
CJH: ... right. Okay. That’ll ... be useful. Erm ... so what makes you think you’re the right guy for this job?
PCA: Well, my policing record is practically flawless - if I do say so myself - and I have the ability to commit myself fully to any challenge you may choose to set before me. I’m easy to work with, and teamwork is something that’s second nature to me; as is following the chain of command.
CJH: Well, okay then. Um ... Ianto?
MIJ: What?
CJH: Any questions for Mr Davidson?
MIJ: Yes but ... you’ve only asked two, Jack.
CJH: I know. I thought maybe you’d want a turn.
MIJ: ... right. Jack ... can I have a word?
INTERVIEW PAUSED AT 15:13
~*~*~*~
Ianto rounded on him in the corridor, arms folded and glaring. “Two questions? Two questions? In three hours, you came up with two questions?”
“My ... mind wandered?” offered Jack. Ianto rolled his eyes.
“I guess I’ll have to take over from here, then?”
“Sorry.” Jack’s head hung a little. “Erm ... should I go? Or ... I dunno ... sit in and look official?”
Ianto sighed. “Sit in and look official. Make notes and look busy. ‘Kay?”
He didn’t wait for a reply before returning to the interrogation room, where PC Andy was still waiting. Jack followed, feeling a little sheepish.
~*~*~*~
INTERVIEW RESUMED AT 15:16
MIJ: Sorry about that. Now ... I trust you are aware of the dangerous nature of our work?
PCA: I’ve heard about your mortality rate, yes.
MIJ: Does this daunt you? Frighten you? Excite you?
PCA: I suppose it worries me a little. But policing is all about protecting people, and you have to put the people you’re protecting before yourself, or else what’s the point in going into this line of work?
MIJ: Very good point. Did you get that, Jack?
CJH: I’m ... uh ... I got it in shorthand.
MIJ: Good. Now ... PC Davidson ... I’m going to throw some hypothetical scenarios at you, and I’d like you to be honest as to what your gut reaction would be within them. Is that okay?
PCA: Go ahead.
MIJ: So ... imagine the team has been called out, and we’ve all split up in search of an armed assailant. You’re on your own, no one around, etcetera. You spot the assailant heading down an alley. What do you think you should do?
PCA: Well, pursue the culprit at a distance and radio the rest of you as to the direction he’s going and a possible final location for him to run to. Then keep myself out of sight while the rest of the team gets there and await further orders.
MIJ: Good. Good. Okay ... so ... there’s a break in. Again, the perpetrator is armed. This time they’ve taken a hostage. Now, this hostage is clearly frightened, the assailant might possibly be intoxicated. What do you think the team should do in this situation?
PCA: Well, the textbooks say you should try and talk to the culprit, try and make them change their mind. Remind them that the person they’re threatening is a human being. But ... y’know ... that hardly ever works. So I say shoot the fucker in the leg before an innocent dies.
MIJ: [gives a small laugh] Okay ... so ... last one for now: someone pulls a gun on you. What do you do?
PCA: Keep calm, raise my hands and be compliant until a suitable window presents itself for escape. If one doesn’t present itself ... well ... I’ll have to depend on the team, won’t I?
MIJ: Right. Okay. Well, one final question.
PCA: Yes?
MIJ: Do you know how to work a coffee machine?
PCA: Erm ... I can boil a kettle, if that’s what you mean?
MIJ: Excellent. Well ... Jack and I will go away now and discuss your merits and get back to you later on this afternoon. We have your current number, yes?
PCA: Yes ... I ... er ... is this it?
MIJ: If we decide we might possibly take you on, there’s a trial period. Call it interview Stage Six.
PCA: Six?
MIJ: Oh ... yeah ... we’ve done all kind of checks and obtained several character references as clearance through earlier stages.
PCA: Oh ... I ... I see. So ... you’re serious about interviewing me then?
MIJ: ... you just had your interview.
PCA: So that really was it?
MIJ: That, and then the trial period.
PCA: Oh, okay. Well ... I’ll speak to you later this afternoon?
MIJ: Yep.
PCA: Oh ... okay then. Well, see you later.
CJH: Bye.
MIJ: Goodbye.
INTERVIEW TERMINATED, 15:28
~*~*~*~
JACK has entered the conversation
MR JONES: I want him I want him I want him I want him I want him
JACK: I don’t know, Ianto. What if he gets all cliquey with Gwen and they’re all like ‘Oh look at us PC Davidson and PC Cooper tra la la la la’?
MR JONES: ... and we’re not ‘cliquey’ with the ‘oh we’re at it like rabbits and Gwen’s not allowed in the club’?
JACK: Yes but being in love is a bit different to being in a clique.
MR JONES: ^_^
MR JONES: Back to the point. We’re understaffed, and he can work a computer.
MR JONES: I mean ... for a start he could begin transferring the 1917-1918 files into digital format. Then once he’s got weapons training I could stay behind to coordinate like you’ve been nagging me to do rather than being in the field.
JACK: Mmm. He’s not exactly ... Torchwood material.
MR JONES: How so?
JACK: He seems a bit ... wimpy ...
MR JONES: A Cardiff police officer? Wimpy?
MR JONES: ... and I’m not exactly nerves of steel.
MR JONES: His answers were good.
MR JONES: If we just take him on for the trial ...
JACK: I think maybe we could keep looking. Compare a couple more CVs.
MR JONES: Or we could stop procrastinating and get back to employing a full team?
JACK: ... I haven’t even begun procrastinating.
MR JONES: I believe the young, hip things would say: *facepalm*
JACK: :-P
MR JONES: Please, Jack. Just the trial period. See how the two of you get on?
JACK: How long is the trial period?
MR JONES: A month.
JACK: Fine. A month. Then he’s out on his ear. Okay?
MR JONES: :D
MR JONES: ... and you can take back throwing him out in a month. I promise.
JACK: Whateverrrrrr.
MR JONES: I’ll give him a ring now.
JACK: ¬_¬ I’d much rather you came down to my office.
MR JONES: I’m sure you would, but I’m too busy.
MR JONES: I’ll talk to you later.
MR JONES has left the conversation
JACK: Heyyyy that’s the IM equivalent of hanging up on me!
JACK: But Iantoooo ,... I need to give you the notes I made during the interviewwwwww
~*~*~*~
FIN
FINALLY got this more or less right. Had a bit of a mysterious block on this one - I think Silver Service might have had something to do with it - but I'm back on it now!
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic