Silver Service by a_silver_story | 31
Title: Silver Service
Author: a_silver_story
Chapter: 31/?
Genre: AU, Romance, Angsty, fluffy
Rating: NC17 / 18
Pairings: Main Pairing is Jack/Ianto. Also includes Ianto/Martha, Ianto/Tosh friendship, Ten/Tosh, Mickey/Martha (mentioned)
Warnings: M.M, rentboy!Ianto, Alternate Universe, torture (not graphic)
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know. Now pass the retcon ...
Summary: Started as a PWP, but since it's me (sorry folks!) and I really can't do things by halves, it grew and grew and grew (and not in an innuendous sort of way). Doctor Smith owns a posh Cardiff hotel, and the respectable Sixth Earl of Boeshane is coming to stay - and he brings with him some very specific demands.
The story follows Ianto from being born, meeting Toshiko and them running away together to the city, right up until Ianto is taken to work in the Doctor's hotel as a 'service' butler for - you guessed it - Jack.
Everyone's fave OTP ensues. BOO YA!
Torchwood Index/Masterlist
FIRST PART | Chapter 1
Click banner for Fic!
Silver Service | 31
They had finally agreed to basically split the house in two: Ianto and Lisa had certain rooms, and Earl Harkness had certain rooms. They were not to cross either way, and Ianto was not to be left alone with Jack. Not that anyone really wanted to leave them alone - they pretty much always wound up yelling at each other and turning violent even with others present. Twice Jack had wandered away too far just to spite him, and had Lisa to deal with as a result.
The day after he and Jack had returned, Ianto had walked straight back into his office that morning as if he'd never been away. Occasionally Barbara would bring in coffee or tell him he had a phone call, but the rest of the time he spent either on his duties or improving his written English. Lisa would come down and sit with him, reading through things he'd written or chatting and laughing while they ate lunch. She was getting big now and her back was starting to feel it, and Ianto was getting more and more overprotective.
Three months after coming back and barely speaking a civil word to each other, Jack and Ianto found themselves in a predicament.
Ianto was sat behind his desk, passing some spare time by doing a wordsearch and sipping black coffee. There was a soft knock on the door, and he paused his searching to call the visitor in. He sighed dramatically when the Earl poked his head around the door, returning to his wordsearch and resolutely not looking at the Captain.
"We had an agreement," he reminded him.
"I know," Jack replied sullenly. "I brought Lois, and Barbara can sit in as well if she likes."
Ianto glared at him, but indicated his should sit down. Lois followed behind, looking stressed and timid.
"Morning, Lois," smiled Ianto. "Been well?"
"Yes, sir," she nodded, not quite meeting his eyes. Ianto was fairly certain she'd been pretty much abandoned when Jack had decided to run away with him and had had to bear the brunt of media pressure.
"So?" Ianto asked Jack expectantly.
"My divorce has come through."
"Congratulations."
"Mmm," agreed Jack, grimly. "And ... I've been invited to a conference in Florence."
"Tell them you can't go."
"No. I want to go."
"I don't."
"Why not?"
"... because I'm staying here with Lisa."
"Lisa has more than enough people to look after her, and I'm going insane stuck here!"
Ianto shrugged. "Not my fault."
Jack folded his arms. "Well, I think it is," he replied nonchalant.
Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"
Lois was shrinking into her seat, her ever present bag of files clutched by whitened knuckles on her knee as she tried to hide the fact she was texting Barbara behind it.
"Think about it," scowled Jack. "If you hadn't pissed off Faith-"
"If you hadn't got yourself drugged-"
Jack banged his fists on the desk as he stood, leaning with his palms spread wide on the wooden surface. "If you hadn't slept with Marth-"
Ianto stood sharply and mirrored his position, unfazed. "If you hadn't listened to Faith, we wouldn't be anywhere near this mess!"
"I'm sorry - should I have left you to die?"
"Ha! The amount of times over the past few months I actually really, really, wished you did!"
"You stupid little boy - you have no idea what death is!"
"No! All I know is life - and all I can know is the life you let me have! And if it wasn't for Lisa, Lord know where I would be now! But what really fucks me off is the-"
"Ohhhh yes! Let's all listen to why everything is so very constantly difficult and hard and gruelling for you, you poor little rentboy with nothing in the world except a massive fucking house, maids and gardeners, PAs, more money than you could possibly spen-"
"Those things mean nothing to me! And Hell - I earn at least some of my money! And if you think that maids and gardeners and PAs are what makes a person happy you really need to-"
Jack made a loud, exasperated sound and threw his hands up before settling them on his hips. "Of course, of course. I should have just left you at Sarah Jane's so you could earn your living there!"
"At least I know I've been well taught in the trade," countered Ianto, again mirroring him with hands on his hips.
"Good to know you've appreciated something I've done for you. Several times over."
Ianto sighed. "I do appreciate the things you do - it's you yourself that causes the problems."
"Maybe I should just send you away and forbid you from my estate? Maybe I should forbid you from ever seeing Lisa again?"
Giving a forced laugh, Ianto rolled his eyes. "I can see that working! Definitely! Where would you banish me to, Jack? The other side of the room? Maybe so far as the other side of the hall? Your little threat is pathetic. Anywhere I go, you have to go, remember?"
"Maybe it should be the other way around, what with you being in my employ?"
"Since this is your fault, I think not."
"Ohhh back to the blame game, are we?"
"It's hardly a game when we already know the result!"
"Yes - that this is your fault!"
"You brought that ... thing ... that child into our lives, and you let her control us-"
"To get the cure for you and Lisa!"
"You know as well as I you could have coaxed it out of Copley eventually! He was hardly brave! But no - you just blundered into the first option an-"
"I really wish I'd left you for dead sometimes!"
The door flew open. "DAD!" yelled Lisa. "IANTO! For God's sake!"
Jack glared at her. "He started it!" he pointed.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"I believe it started whe-"
"I DON'T CARE WHEN IT STARTED BECAUSE I'M FINISHING IT BEFORE I GO INTO EARLY LABOUR! Both of you - dining room, now!"
She turned and marched out, and glaring at each other they reluctantly followed her.
Lois stayed with Barbara for a while, drinking strong tea with a dash of brandy and regretting she agreed to sit in on the conversation.
~*~*~*~
"Right!" snapped Lisa, clutching a clipboard and glaring at Jack and Ianto sitting opposite each other at the long dining table. She was stood at the head, one man either side of her. "You two are going to have to sort this out once and for all! I'm fed up of it - you're worse than children!"
"His fault ...." grumbled Ianto.
Lisa rapped him in the head with her clipboard, and he waited until she continued speaking and was distracted enough for her not to notice him rub the spot and mouth a silent 'ow!'.
"I don't care who's fault, or who started, or who's to blame. It's both your faults from now on. This is the way things turned out, and we can't change that. Instead, we make do. So! Dad ... Ianto ... I'm going to give you a sheet of paper each, and you're going to write down ten things you like about the other man."
Ianto rolled his eyes, and got another tap with the clipboard.
"You're doing it, Ianto Jones, and I'm having no argument!"
Jack took the blank sheet of paper dubiously. "How long do we have to do this?"
"As long as it takes - even if you're still sat here next week, you're doing it. Right! Now - off you go."
They both stared down at the blank sheets of paper, and after a moment or so, Jack started writing his title: Things I Like About Ianto Jones. He underlined it, and chewed his pen a moment before writing his number one: He looks damn good in a fine tailoring.
Lisa looked over his shoulder. "Personality attributes, Dad," Lisa sighed.
"You said 'things', and that's one of them, dearest," he pouted.
"Fine, fine. Carry on ...."
Ianto scribbled his title, 'Things I Like About Jack Harkness', and took a long moment thinking. He was very aware that Jack had moved on to his second point, and he tapped his pen on the desk as he considered the other man.
Lisa's hand caught his in an iron grip.
"Tap that pen one more time ...."
"Sorry, dear," he muttered, then thought of his first point: Jack can stand up to Lisa.
Lisa raised her eyebrow and sniffed at it, and he smirked at her. She tapped him on the head with her clipboard, though gentler this time.
Jack's second point was 'Ianto is well endowed', and he chewed his pen to think of a third. He giggled as it came to him, then managed to transmogrify the sound into a suitably masculine chortle. 'Ianto isn't a screamer', he wrote, and Lisa read it and sniggered.
"I know!" she giggled. "He does that cute frowny-ecstasy-thing!"
"Heyyy!" complained Ianto as he leaned over to read, still struggling for his second Thing He Liked About Jack Harkness. He bit his lip, thinking of something to write. Eventually, he settled on 'Sometimes I like it when he's immature. Sometimes.'
Jack was writing his next point, 'Ianto has the cutest nose this side of the Orient', quickly followed by number five, 'Ianto has a filthy mind'. Lisa raised her eyebrow at that one, and Ianto found himself flushing as he wrote his next point for Jack: 'He makes me blush. I hear this is very good for my circulatory system - as is dark chocolate, and that doesn't talk back'.
Lisa made an exasperated noise. "Are you two going to take this at all seriously? Surely you can think of at least a few things about personality you like about each other?"
Jack and Ianto looked up at her blankly. The Captain shifted uncomfortably. "But that would mean ... like ... y'know ...."
Ianto grimaced. "Yeah," he agreed. "Y'know ...."
Lisa's eyebrow raised again. "Thinking about it? Being open with one another? Being open with yourselves?"
They both shifted again, and Lisa rolled her eyes dramatically.
"Men!" she huffed. "Seriously - you're going to do the next few points properly, or I will get really angry!"
"Got one!" grinned Jack. "Number six ... Ianto makes the best cup of coffee in the world," he said as he wrote it down.
He got rapped on the head with the clipboard.
"Owww! What was that for? It's non-physical and idiosyncratic!"
Lisa narrowed her eyes, and he tried to give her his widest puppy eyes. Unsure, she glared at him and told them to carry on.
"This isn't fair," grumbled Ianto. "He was allowed more non-serious points than me."
"If I let you have one more, will you try?"
Ianto nodded.
"Fine - one more. Then you do this properly."
He scribbled down his fourth point: 'The coat is awesome, if not a bit camp. Okay - a lot camp. Like a row of tents. No - caravans. Brightly painted Gypsy caravans. With garlands. And bells'.
"There!" he grinned triumphantly, and Lisa couldn't help but snigger. The corners of Jack's mouth pulled despite him trying to scowl, and eventually he gave a small laugh, too.
An awkward silence fell as they both realised they'd have to start thinking seriously from this moment forward.
Jack wrote a number 'seven' on his piece of paper, then stared at the blank space next to it. Ianto followed suit, writing a number 'five' and staring just as blankly as he tried to think. It was a full two minutes before Jack made another move to write, before changing his mind and chewing his pen again. He repeated the action, lowering his pen, thinking better of it and returning to thinking.
Lisa gave him a reassuring smile. "Just write it, Dad."
Jack shuffled uncomfortably, then quickly wrote four words: 'Ianto makes me smile'. He quickly followed it with number eight: 'And laugh'.
"Much better," nodded Lisa. "Ianto?"
Ianto glanced up at Jack, and cleared his throat. "Erm ... ahem ... um ...." The space next to his 'five' looked blanker and spacier than ever. He thought for a few more moments, then took the plunge and wrote: 'People assume he is selfish and arrogant and bad tempered, but the man I know is generous, loving and kind - though still bad tempered'.
Jack cleared his throat and quickly scrawled, 'Ianto doesn't take my shit' and returned to chewing his pen. He and Ianto could hardly look at each other. The level of honesty was uncomfortable.
"I only have to think of one more," grinned Jack. "Then I get to go."
Ianto scowled at him. "You cheated on more than half of yours," he reminded him.
"You're not going anywhere until Ianto's finished," Lisa informed him.
Jack folded his arms across his chest and scowled. "Fine then - but I'm not writing my last point until he writes his. I don't want you reading it."
Lisa shrugged. "Whatever."
Ianto bit his lip. "Actually ... Lisa ... I want to work on my list on my own. And ... I don't know if ... I ... y'know ... want you reading it either ...."
Lisa 'hmph'ed, and warned him that he better had do it properly.
"I will, I will ...." he promised, and stood as he gathered up his pen and paper.
"Where are you going?" asked Lisa.
"To the other end of the table," he replied, moving further down and sitting again and trying to come up with a number six. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking, before mentally groaning. He glanced over at Jack, who had his hands clasped on the table before him, twiddling his thumbs and staring into the middle distance. He glanced down at his page, still less than half done. He glanced back up at Lisa, who had now sat at the head of the table, arms folded and raising her eyebrows at his lack of activity.
He just about stopped himself from putting his head on the table and groaning.
~*~*~*~
Half an hour later, and finally he had completed his list. He folded it in half, and in half again, and got up and returned to Jack and Lisa. "Done," he declared, and awkwardly shuffled on the spot, waiting for Jack to finish secretly writing his final point.
"Swap?" suggested Jack, and Ianto nodded. Quickly they swapped, not looking each other in the eye, and started reading.
Clear Text
Ianto re-read Jack's list, and knew that Jack probably agreed with him that they would never, ever mention these things again.
Jack frowned down at Ianto's list. "You've only written nine," he observed, and Lisa gave Ianto a very pointed look.
"I ... erm ... I think the last one needs to be said rather than read," Ianto explained awkwardly, folding up Jack's list and tucking it into his inside pocket.
"Well?" asked Jack, putting Ianto's list in his trouser pocket.
Ianto shifted on the spot. "Er ... Lisa ... could you ... er ...?"
Lisa took the hint and excused herself, and told them that they were excused from their detention from then on. She wandered off to find somewhere nice and relaxing - Ianto would put his money on a bubble bath - and left them alone in the dining room.
"Well?" Jack repeated softly, and Ianto stared at the floor for a moment.
"You promise to never, ever repeat it, or bring it up in conversation again?"
"I'll do my best."
"... Jack ...."
"I promise," he assured him.
Ianto took a few moments, then sighed. He stepped forward, and whispered close to Jack's ear for a moment before turning away, not looking him in the eye and hurrying out of the room.
Jack couldn't help it. A smile spread across his face.
Taking the list from his pocket, he couldn't help but write down Ianto's final point anyway.
~*~*~*~
"I knew you'd go for a bubble bath."
"You two stress me out, and as much as I hate the idea of you maybe getting on a little too well behind my back, I also hate seeing you so unhappy," replied Lisa, stretching out in the water and running a hand over her rounded belly. "You stress me out too much," she sighed.
"I'm sorry," Ianto replied, taking off his jacket and sitting on the edge of the bath, one arm leaning on the opposite side so that he could face her better. "And ... nothing like that will ever happen between me and Jack again."
"Mmm," agreed Lisa, carefully inspecting the wall tiles.
"Lisa," Ianto sighed. "I don't even want him."
"You do," she told him. "Don't lie to me, Ianto Jones - it never ends well."
Ianto bit his lip and glanced away, then looked at her again. "You know I'd never ... ?"
Lisa nodded. "I trust you. It's him I'm worried about."
He gave a small laugh, and bent down to kiss her head. Sitting back up again, he sighed. "He's invited to a conference in Florence. He says he wants to go, but I don't want to leave you."
"I won't break, Ianto."
"What if something happens?"
"I'll be fine," she smiled reassuringly. "You're such a worrier sometimes. I'm pregnant, not ill."
He smiled back. "I know ... but ... my instinct is-"
"To never leave me alone? To constantly ask me how I am? To refuse to let me do anything vaguely resembling 'active'?"
"Hey!" he complained. "That was once, and you shouldn't be doing heavy-lifting!"
"It was a jewellery box!"
"A very heavy antique wooden one filled with metal," he retorted, then laughed at Lisa's mimic of him. "If you don't start behaving yourself, I'm going to have to tie you to the bed until you learn to relax properly ...."
"Well ... number five was 'Ianto has a filthy mind' ...." she reminded him playfully, and he blushed. She sat up a little more. "Maybe you could share it with me some time?"
He cleared his throat. "Erm ... not for a while yet, though ...."
Lisa rolled her eyes and sighed, lying back in the water again. "You do know it's been ten days, right?"
"Yeah ...." he said, pulling at his tie and collar. "It's just ... y'know ...."
"... you 'don't want to go poking around where you might not be welcome'?"
He nodded, and Lisa sighed melodramatically.
"The baby doesn't know. They won't even feel anything! Besides - sex is good for pregnant women. And being pregnant makes me very, very horny."
Ianto moved, lowering himself until he was knelt by the bath. "Tell ya what," he said, rolling up his sleeves and reaching for the sponge and soap. "When I've finished work tonight, we'll make it extra special, 'kay?"
They smiled at each other. "Okay," agreed Lisa.
"Good - now lean forward, and don't you dare do anything else for yourself."
Lisa laughed, and for once, did as she was told.
~*~*~*~
The sun set in a vast spectrum of colours, and Jack took a moment to appreciate it before closing his bedroom curtains. He changed into his pyjama bottoms, brushed his teeth and then climbed into his illegally comfortable - if maybe cold - bed.
He snuggled down, waiting for his feet to warm up, and reached over to his bedside cabinet, opening the top drawer and pulling out the piece of paper with Ianto's list written on it.
He tucked it back in the drawer safely, pulled the duvets up to his chin and snuggled down to sleep.
FIN
Wha ... they had to talk about feelings? Mua ha ha haaaaa!
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Author: a_silver_story
Chapter: 31/?
Genre: AU, Romance, Angsty, fluffy
Rating: NC17 / 18
Pairings: Main Pairing is Jack/Ianto. Also includes Ianto/Martha, Ianto/Tosh friendship, Ten/Tosh, Mickey/Martha (mentioned)
Warnings: M.M, rentboy!Ianto, Alternate Universe, torture (not graphic)
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know. Now pass the retcon ...
Summary: Started as a PWP, but since it's me (sorry folks!) and I really can't do things by halves, it grew and grew and grew (and not in an innuendous sort of way). Doctor Smith owns a posh Cardiff hotel, and the respectable Sixth Earl of Boeshane is coming to stay - and he brings with him some very specific demands.
The story follows Ianto from being born, meeting Toshiko and them running away together to the city, right up until Ianto is taken to work in the Doctor's hotel as a 'service' butler for - you guessed it - Jack.
Everyone's fave OTP ensues. BOO YA!
Torchwood Index/Masterlist
FIRST PART | Chapter 1
Click banner for Fic!
Silver Service | 31
They had finally agreed to basically split the house in two: Ianto and Lisa had certain rooms, and Earl Harkness had certain rooms. They were not to cross either way, and Ianto was not to be left alone with Jack. Not that anyone really wanted to leave them alone - they pretty much always wound up yelling at each other and turning violent even with others present. Twice Jack had wandered away too far just to spite him, and had Lisa to deal with as a result.
The day after he and Jack had returned, Ianto had walked straight back into his office that morning as if he'd never been away. Occasionally Barbara would bring in coffee or tell him he had a phone call, but the rest of the time he spent either on his duties or improving his written English. Lisa would come down and sit with him, reading through things he'd written or chatting and laughing while they ate lunch. She was getting big now and her back was starting to feel it, and Ianto was getting more and more overprotective.
Three months after coming back and barely speaking a civil word to each other, Jack and Ianto found themselves in a predicament.
Ianto was sat behind his desk, passing some spare time by doing a wordsearch and sipping black coffee. There was a soft knock on the door, and he paused his searching to call the visitor in. He sighed dramatically when the Earl poked his head around the door, returning to his wordsearch and resolutely not looking at the Captain.
"We had an agreement," he reminded him.
"I know," Jack replied sullenly. "I brought Lois, and Barbara can sit in as well if she likes."
Ianto glared at him, but indicated his should sit down. Lois followed behind, looking stressed and timid.
"Morning, Lois," smiled Ianto. "Been well?"
"Yes, sir," she nodded, not quite meeting his eyes. Ianto was fairly certain she'd been pretty much abandoned when Jack had decided to run away with him and had had to bear the brunt of media pressure.
"So?" Ianto asked Jack expectantly.
"My divorce has come through."
"Congratulations."
"Mmm," agreed Jack, grimly. "And ... I've been invited to a conference in Florence."
"Tell them you can't go."
"No. I want to go."
"I don't."
"Why not?"
"... because I'm staying here with Lisa."
"Lisa has more than enough people to look after her, and I'm going insane stuck here!"
Ianto shrugged. "Not my fault."
Jack folded his arms. "Well, I think it is," he replied nonchalant.
Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"
Lois was shrinking into her seat, her ever present bag of files clutched by whitened knuckles on her knee as she tried to hide the fact she was texting Barbara behind it.
"Think about it," scowled Jack. "If you hadn't pissed off Faith-"
"If you hadn't got yourself drugged-"
Jack banged his fists on the desk as he stood, leaning with his palms spread wide on the wooden surface. "If you hadn't slept with Marth-"
Ianto stood sharply and mirrored his position, unfazed. "If you hadn't listened to Faith, we wouldn't be anywhere near this mess!"
"I'm sorry - should I have left you to die?"
"Ha! The amount of times over the past few months I actually really, really, wished you did!"
"You stupid little boy - you have no idea what death is!"
"No! All I know is life - and all I can know is the life you let me have! And if it wasn't for Lisa, Lord know where I would be now! But what really fucks me off is the-"
"Ohhhh yes! Let's all listen to why everything is so very constantly difficult and hard and gruelling for you, you poor little rentboy with nothing in the world except a massive fucking house, maids and gardeners, PAs, more money than you could possibly spen-"
"Those things mean nothing to me! And Hell - I earn at least some of my money! And if you think that maids and gardeners and PAs are what makes a person happy you really need to-"
Jack made a loud, exasperated sound and threw his hands up before settling them on his hips. "Of course, of course. I should have just left you at Sarah Jane's so you could earn your living there!"
"At least I know I've been well taught in the trade," countered Ianto, again mirroring him with hands on his hips.
"Good to know you've appreciated something I've done for you. Several times over."
Ianto sighed. "I do appreciate the things you do - it's you yourself that causes the problems."
"Maybe I should just send you away and forbid you from my estate? Maybe I should forbid you from ever seeing Lisa again?"
Giving a forced laugh, Ianto rolled his eyes. "I can see that working! Definitely! Where would you banish me to, Jack? The other side of the room? Maybe so far as the other side of the hall? Your little threat is pathetic. Anywhere I go, you have to go, remember?"
"Maybe it should be the other way around, what with you being in my employ?"
"Since this is your fault, I think not."
"Ohhh back to the blame game, are we?"
"It's hardly a game when we already know the result!"
"Yes - that this is your fault!"
"You brought that ... thing ... that child into our lives, and you let her control us-"
"To get the cure for you and Lisa!"
"You know as well as I you could have coaxed it out of Copley eventually! He was hardly brave! But no - you just blundered into the first option an-"
"I really wish I'd left you for dead sometimes!"
The door flew open. "DAD!" yelled Lisa. "IANTO! For God's sake!"
Jack glared at her. "He started it!" he pointed.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"I believe it started whe-"
"I DON'T CARE WHEN IT STARTED BECAUSE I'M FINISHING IT BEFORE I GO INTO EARLY LABOUR! Both of you - dining room, now!"
She turned and marched out, and glaring at each other they reluctantly followed her.
Lois stayed with Barbara for a while, drinking strong tea with a dash of brandy and regretting she agreed to sit in on the conversation.
~*~*~*~
"Right!" snapped Lisa, clutching a clipboard and glaring at Jack and Ianto sitting opposite each other at the long dining table. She was stood at the head, one man either side of her. "You two are going to have to sort this out once and for all! I'm fed up of it - you're worse than children!"
"His fault ...." grumbled Ianto.
Lisa rapped him in the head with her clipboard, and he waited until she continued speaking and was distracted enough for her not to notice him rub the spot and mouth a silent 'ow!'.
"I don't care who's fault, or who started, or who's to blame. It's both your faults from now on. This is the way things turned out, and we can't change that. Instead, we make do. So! Dad ... Ianto ... I'm going to give you a sheet of paper each, and you're going to write down ten things you like about the other man."
Ianto rolled his eyes, and got another tap with the clipboard.
"You're doing it, Ianto Jones, and I'm having no argument!"
Jack took the blank sheet of paper dubiously. "How long do we have to do this?"
"As long as it takes - even if you're still sat here next week, you're doing it. Right! Now - off you go."
They both stared down at the blank sheets of paper, and after a moment or so, Jack started writing his title: Things I Like About Ianto Jones. He underlined it, and chewed his pen a moment before writing his number one: He looks damn good in a fine tailoring.
Lisa looked over his shoulder. "Personality attributes, Dad," Lisa sighed.
"You said 'things', and that's one of them, dearest," he pouted.
"Fine, fine. Carry on ...."
Ianto scribbled his title, 'Things I Like About Jack Harkness', and took a long moment thinking. He was very aware that Jack had moved on to his second point, and he tapped his pen on the desk as he considered the other man.
Lisa's hand caught his in an iron grip.
"Tap that pen one more time ...."
"Sorry, dear," he muttered, then thought of his first point: Jack can stand up to Lisa.
Lisa raised her eyebrow and sniffed at it, and he smirked at her. She tapped him on the head with her clipboard, though gentler this time.
Jack's second point was 'Ianto is well endowed', and he chewed his pen to think of a third. He giggled as it came to him, then managed to transmogrify the sound into a suitably masculine chortle. 'Ianto isn't a screamer', he wrote, and Lisa read it and sniggered.
"I know!" she giggled. "He does that cute frowny-ecstasy-thing!"
"Heyyy!" complained Ianto as he leaned over to read, still struggling for his second Thing He Liked About Jack Harkness. He bit his lip, thinking of something to write. Eventually, he settled on 'Sometimes I like it when he's immature. Sometimes.'
Jack was writing his next point, 'Ianto has the cutest nose this side of the Orient', quickly followed by number five, 'Ianto has a filthy mind'. Lisa raised her eyebrow at that one, and Ianto found himself flushing as he wrote his next point for Jack: 'He makes me blush. I hear this is very good for my circulatory system - as is dark chocolate, and that doesn't talk back'.
Lisa made an exasperated noise. "Are you two going to take this at all seriously? Surely you can think of at least a few things about personality you like about each other?"
Jack and Ianto looked up at her blankly. The Captain shifted uncomfortably. "But that would mean ... like ... y'know ...."
Ianto grimaced. "Yeah," he agreed. "Y'know ...."
Lisa's eyebrow raised again. "Thinking about it? Being open with one another? Being open with yourselves?"
They both shifted again, and Lisa rolled her eyes dramatically.
"Men!" she huffed. "Seriously - you're going to do the next few points properly, or I will get really angry!"
"Got one!" grinned Jack. "Number six ... Ianto makes the best cup of coffee in the world," he said as he wrote it down.
He got rapped on the head with the clipboard.
"Owww! What was that for? It's non-physical and idiosyncratic!"
Lisa narrowed her eyes, and he tried to give her his widest puppy eyes. Unsure, she glared at him and told them to carry on.
"This isn't fair," grumbled Ianto. "He was allowed more non-serious points than me."
"If I let you have one more, will you try?"
Ianto nodded.
"Fine - one more. Then you do this properly."
He scribbled down his fourth point: 'The coat is awesome, if not a bit camp. Okay - a lot camp. Like a row of tents. No - caravans. Brightly painted Gypsy caravans. With garlands. And bells'.
"There!" he grinned triumphantly, and Lisa couldn't help but snigger. The corners of Jack's mouth pulled despite him trying to scowl, and eventually he gave a small laugh, too.
An awkward silence fell as they both realised they'd have to start thinking seriously from this moment forward.
Jack wrote a number 'seven' on his piece of paper, then stared at the blank space next to it. Ianto followed suit, writing a number 'five' and staring just as blankly as he tried to think. It was a full two minutes before Jack made another move to write, before changing his mind and chewing his pen again. He repeated the action, lowering his pen, thinking better of it and returning to thinking.
Lisa gave him a reassuring smile. "Just write it, Dad."
Jack shuffled uncomfortably, then quickly wrote four words: 'Ianto makes me smile'. He quickly followed it with number eight: 'And laugh'.
"Much better," nodded Lisa. "Ianto?"
Ianto glanced up at Jack, and cleared his throat. "Erm ... ahem ... um ...." The space next to his 'five' looked blanker and spacier than ever. He thought for a few more moments, then took the plunge and wrote: 'People assume he is selfish and arrogant and bad tempered, but the man I know is generous, loving and kind - though still bad tempered'.
Jack cleared his throat and quickly scrawled, 'Ianto doesn't take my shit' and returned to chewing his pen. He and Ianto could hardly look at each other. The level of honesty was uncomfortable.
"I only have to think of one more," grinned Jack. "Then I get to go."
Ianto scowled at him. "You cheated on more than half of yours," he reminded him.
"You're not going anywhere until Ianto's finished," Lisa informed him.
Jack folded his arms across his chest and scowled. "Fine then - but I'm not writing my last point until he writes his. I don't want you reading it."
Lisa shrugged. "Whatever."
Ianto bit his lip. "Actually ... Lisa ... I want to work on my list on my own. And ... I don't know if ... I ... y'know ... want you reading it either ...."
Lisa 'hmph'ed, and warned him that he better had do it properly.
"I will, I will ...." he promised, and stood as he gathered up his pen and paper.
"Where are you going?" asked Lisa.
"To the other end of the table," he replied, moving further down and sitting again and trying to come up with a number six. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking, before mentally groaning. He glanced over at Jack, who had his hands clasped on the table before him, twiddling his thumbs and staring into the middle distance. He glanced down at his page, still less than half done. He glanced back up at Lisa, who had now sat at the head of the table, arms folded and raising her eyebrows at his lack of activity.
He just about stopped himself from putting his head on the table and groaning.
~*~*~*~
Half an hour later, and finally he had completed his list. He folded it in half, and in half again, and got up and returned to Jack and Lisa. "Done," he declared, and awkwardly shuffled on the spot, waiting for Jack to finish secretly writing his final point.
"Swap?" suggested Jack, and Ianto nodded. Quickly they swapped, not looking each other in the eye, and started reading.
Clear Text
Ianto re-read Jack's list, and knew that Jack probably agreed with him that they would never, ever mention these things again.
Jack frowned down at Ianto's list. "You've only written nine," he observed, and Lisa gave Ianto a very pointed look.
"I ... erm ... I think the last one needs to be said rather than read," Ianto explained awkwardly, folding up Jack's list and tucking it into his inside pocket.
"Well?" asked Jack, putting Ianto's list in his trouser pocket.
Ianto shifted on the spot. "Er ... Lisa ... could you ... er ...?"
Lisa took the hint and excused herself, and told them that they were excused from their detention from then on. She wandered off to find somewhere nice and relaxing - Ianto would put his money on a bubble bath - and left them alone in the dining room.
"Well?" Jack repeated softly, and Ianto stared at the floor for a moment.
"You promise to never, ever repeat it, or bring it up in conversation again?"
"I'll do my best."
"... Jack ...."
"I promise," he assured him.
Ianto took a few moments, then sighed. He stepped forward, and whispered close to Jack's ear for a moment before turning away, not looking him in the eye and hurrying out of the room.
Jack couldn't help it. A smile spread across his face.
Taking the list from his pocket, he couldn't help but write down Ianto's final point anyway.
~*~*~*~
"I knew you'd go for a bubble bath."
"You two stress me out, and as much as I hate the idea of you maybe getting on a little too well behind my back, I also hate seeing you so unhappy," replied Lisa, stretching out in the water and running a hand over her rounded belly. "You stress me out too much," she sighed.
"I'm sorry," Ianto replied, taking off his jacket and sitting on the edge of the bath, one arm leaning on the opposite side so that he could face her better. "And ... nothing like that will ever happen between me and Jack again."
"Mmm," agreed Lisa, carefully inspecting the wall tiles.
"Lisa," Ianto sighed. "I don't even want him."
"You do," she told him. "Don't lie to me, Ianto Jones - it never ends well."
Ianto bit his lip and glanced away, then looked at her again. "You know I'd never ... ?"
Lisa nodded. "I trust you. It's him I'm worried about."
He gave a small laugh, and bent down to kiss her head. Sitting back up again, he sighed. "He's invited to a conference in Florence. He says he wants to go, but I don't want to leave you."
"I won't break, Ianto."
"What if something happens?"
"I'll be fine," she smiled reassuringly. "You're such a worrier sometimes. I'm pregnant, not ill."
He smiled back. "I know ... but ... my instinct is-"
"To never leave me alone? To constantly ask me how I am? To refuse to let me do anything vaguely resembling 'active'?"
"Hey!" he complained. "That was once, and you shouldn't be doing heavy-lifting!"
"It was a jewellery box!"
"A very heavy antique wooden one filled with metal," he retorted, then laughed at Lisa's mimic of him. "If you don't start behaving yourself, I'm going to have to tie you to the bed until you learn to relax properly ...."
"Well ... number five was 'Ianto has a filthy mind' ...." she reminded him playfully, and he blushed. She sat up a little more. "Maybe you could share it with me some time?"
He cleared his throat. "Erm ... not for a while yet, though ...."
Lisa rolled her eyes and sighed, lying back in the water again. "You do know it's been ten days, right?"
"Yeah ...." he said, pulling at his tie and collar. "It's just ... y'know ...."
"... you 'don't want to go poking around where you might not be welcome'?"
He nodded, and Lisa sighed melodramatically.
"The baby doesn't know. They won't even feel anything! Besides - sex is good for pregnant women. And being pregnant makes me very, very horny."
Ianto moved, lowering himself until he was knelt by the bath. "Tell ya what," he said, rolling up his sleeves and reaching for the sponge and soap. "When I've finished work tonight, we'll make it extra special, 'kay?"
They smiled at each other. "Okay," agreed Lisa.
"Good - now lean forward, and don't you dare do anything else for yourself."
Lisa laughed, and for once, did as she was told.
~*~*~*~
The sun set in a vast spectrum of colours, and Jack took a moment to appreciate it before closing his bedroom curtains. He changed into his pyjama bottoms, brushed his teeth and then climbed into his illegally comfortable - if maybe cold - bed.
He snuggled down, waiting for his feet to warm up, and reached over to his bedside cabinet, opening the top drawer and pulling out the piece of paper with Ianto's list written on it.
He tucked it back in the drawer safely, pulled the duvets up to his chin and snuggled down to sleep.
FIN
Wha ... they had to talk about feelings? Mua ha ha haaaaa!
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