I'm so lost, I'm barely here.

[_thoughtless_me]

Oh, fuck, did I just quote 2003 blink-182? I think I did... :P

But no, in all seriousness, I am fucking exhausted. I don't know who's reading this, but I guess for once I don't care. I want to talk, but I have no one to turn to. It's either you're not here or you just don't understand.

I think everyone must go through some kind of identity crisis at

Comments

[trudybooth]

It's ok if you're emo, just be sure to wear lots of eyeliner when you do it.

And you deffinately need a friend right there.

[_thoughtless_me]

You're gonna have to bring me some then... I renounced all makeup a year or two ago!

hah, yes. Any ideas? It seems like impossible. I was just thinking how, it might just be that I need a change of scenery, somewhere to crash when I'm sick of my mom and my dad and my dorm... and how sad it is that I don't even have one friend within, like, 25 miles, in whose home I am welcome! I mean that is just pathetic, am I right?

[trudybooth]

You can always come here. Trufax.

[lesser_cause]

I read the whole thing, and I just want to say that I'm really sorry

[_thoughtless_me]

thank you soooo much for reading all that dude!

I'm glad we're on the same page. I'm just scared, because I don't have a "plan" and everyone is making me freak out over it, like, if you don't have a plan, college is the default way to go. I can't prove that everything will be okay, but I don't care... but other people DO, and they expect me to hold myself back. "Stick it out for a few years and then you can try to do what you love."

I asked a LOT of "mature" people for advice, and the consensus seems to be to keep trying when I have the time. It makes me sigh but whatever. It's just that I don't really think I can do these things with no outside support.

Ugh. It's really killing me. I want to feel exhilarated and uncertain, not suffocated and always dreaming because I don't have anything else...

[trudybooth]

"Earning a living" takes a lot of time too. Probably more than college-ing. You should calculate it before you make any decisions.

What finishing college gives you is expanded options. It's not some sort of magical key to "success".

You could pick a project and then devote all your time this summer to doing it. That would be a good try-out -- several months in a row making whatever you want to do work. (You know my whole thing about not "leaving" what you're doing but "going to" something new.)

[trudybooth]

That sounds snottier than I meant it. What has me so bitchy sounding today, huh?

The only think I can tell you for sure is that you'll figure it out and do what's best.