everything you ever wanted to know about canada and hockey

[_thirty2flavors]

So recently for a meme professor_spork asked me what is so fascinating about hockey, with the assumption that I am comfortable being "the voice of my people".

She was not wrong.

Comments

[_thirty2flavors]

TY TY.

YOU ARE A DEVILS FAN RIGHT? They did not do so hot this year either, did they? BAH.

[_thirty2flavors]

I CAN GET BEHIND THAT. GTFO FLYERS

[shinyopals]

just ask [info]goldy_dollar* how she is feeling today after the Habs loss last night

OMG DON'T EVEN DO THAT

I SPENT ENOUGH OF TODAY PETTING. SHE DOESN'T NEED TO SINK INTO DEPRESSION AGAIN.

Also, LOL THIS ENTIRE POST.

[shinyopals]

Also, six players seems like hardly any at all. I'm sure we had, like, twice that when I played regular hockey (ON THE GRASS, I MEAN).

[_thirty2flavors]

I watched some Swedish sport called bandy on youtube and it was like soccer and field hockey had a lovechild and then that lovechild was played on ice, and I think it had much bigger lines. But yeah, no, definitely six. I almost wrote "five" because no one ever counts the goalie but I suppose technically he is on the ice as well.

[shinyopals]

In field hockey, the goalie is the only one who wears any padding at all. I sucked at going in goal and I hated the padding, so I was always happy to smack people with my hockey stick in the midfield and look innocent when they tripped.

[goldy_dollar]

LOL LOL THIS IS THE GREATEST POST EVER.

It was invented in Canada back in the day and do not let Sweden tell you otherwise how dare you Sweden.

Omg, Sweden, you are just jealous that we are better at it than you.

SPEAKING OF THE HOCKEY SWEATER:

WHAT UP, NATIONAL FILM BOARD OF CANADA.

There are five Canadian NHL teams of note, those being the Montreal Canadiens, the Ottawa Senators, the Calgary Flames, the Edmonton Oilers, and the Vancouver Canucks. There is also the Toronto Maple Leafs, but we don’t talk about them.

lol lol lol correct.

If you do not believe me, just ask goldy_dollar how she is feeling today after the Habs loss last night.

[shinyopals]

DON'T LET THE NASTY LADY REMIND YOU OF THESE THINGS.

THINK ABOUT THE DOCTOR EMOING IN THE TARDIS. IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAIN.

[goldy_dollar]

OOOH OOH CAN THERE BE A SCENE WHERE ROSE AND THE MASTER MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF HIM?? I bet that would delight him in every way.

[shinyopals]

YES. YES THERE CAN. YOU MUST WRITE IT, OF COURSE, BUT I WAS KINDA HOPING YOU WOULD WANT TO BECAUSE OMG AWESOME. XD XD XD

[_thirty2flavors]

I'm rooting for the Blackhawks over San Jose, though I did want Vancouver to beat them for all the reasons mentioned in this post. DNW Sharks vs Flyers for the Cup.

[professor_spork]

THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED AND MORE. THANK YOU.

(It is a sign of how embarrassingly mushy I truly am that that stupid Tim Hortons commercial got to me. I was like "HECK YEAH DISTANT ASIAN FATHERS, YOU DRINK THAT COFFEE." Pathetic.)

But now I feel guilty for, like... not caring about sports. My sister is (paradoxically, I assure you) an EXTREME Yankees fanatic. Now I want to, like, actually watch a game and ~cheer~ or something.

Awwwwwwwh you Canadians are so cuuuuuuuuuuute. *pinches cheeks*

[goldy_dollar]

Omfg, Tim Hortons is a master at their craft:

BWAAAAAAAAAAA OMG *TEAR*

[professor_spork]

THAT IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.

When commercials like that air in America, it feels emotionally manipulative. But Canadians just seem so *earnest.*

[_thirty2flavors]

lol I almost used this one.