Comments | _survivors_: to my father, are my screams loud enough for you to hear me should I turn this up for you

stac46days in _survivors_

to my father, are my screams loud enough for you to hear me should I turn this up for you

Dec 30, 2006 21:31

( triggers for family abuse, mention of self harm )

Comments 12

thetiss December 31 2006, 03:24:23 UTC

Honey, I am so very sorry that you have to endure such abuse. Be strong and please throw the razorblade away, okay?
Take care of you,
Love,
Natasha~
http://love.voicesofstrength.org

stac46days December 31 2006, 03:47:46 UTC

Thank you, I will be safe, I will throw it away tomorrow morning on the way to church. I feel like if I go pick it up now I won't be ok
The night might be a tough one but I will be ok in the end.
thank you
stac

thetiss December 31 2006, 03:59:57 UTC

Honey, are you okay? Are you safe? Do you need some support, I can get on AIM messenger or something if you need help.
Let me know through here, I'm online right now.
xo

stac46days December 31 2006, 04:05:13 UTC

I am ok. I appreciate you though.
I am going to try to sleep, and hopefully the nightmares will take a break tonight. It is a night by night thing.
Thank you for offering your time...that means a lot
-stac

Thread 5

passiondreamer December 31 2006, 04:11:30 UTC

i'm so sorry you have bad evening. sending you lots of hugs.

stac46days December 31 2006, 04:13:34 UTC

thank you. I def. appreciate the hugs. I have a hard time with the real ones :)
I will be ok. (I hope if I keep typing it, it will be the truth!)

thanks
stac

passiondreamer December 31 2006, 04:20:51 UTC

i can understand that, i have a hard time with the real hugs if i don't really know the person, too.

i hope you wil be ok. lots and lots of hugs.

countingstars77 December 31 2006, 04:34:32 UTC

sweetie, i'm so sorry that happened. *hugs* stay safe, okay?

sistahraven December 31 2006, 18:27:06 UTC

I'm sorry to hear that after soem really good days that something like this broke the peace. It's so traumatic and triggering to see an animal - something that knows nothing but love - to be scared and hurt like that. I'm glad that you were able to stand up for her, and remove yourself from the situation once you'd made sure she was safe.

It's so frustrating when doing the right thing causes fights, because it's so unfair that doing the right thing can make things feel so much worse in situations like that. Sending you lots of extra love and hugs.

stac46days December 31 2006, 18:52:58 UTC

It is frustrating that doing something right causes a fight.
I Feel like if I am silent I am suffering and if I say something I am inviting abuse...it is a hard road to walk...but i am trying

stac

alithiea January 3 2007, 22:28:05 UTC

You sound very strong. I think that in time you can develop resources for yourself to make a life separate from your parents. I left at sixteen to travel and experienced a free world for the first time. it was really hard, I often found myself in strange situations and little money but found it much better than life at home. There are always difficulties in this life but the abuse is not a natural part of it. We were not made to be abused.. love is the natural state. I really believe this I send strength to you and support your decision of getting out. Your boss offered you a place to stay- you're loved, and there is so much more love out there that people are just waiting to share. You don't have to use the razor and leave the whole world behind when there is so much worth seeing and living for. Pain can be avoided, and peace can take over. If you've survived this long, surely you can survive in a life of _your own_ design. There is a huge world out there, far away from your dad. I hope he sees a vision of it sometime and can come ( ... )