I agree with you. I totally understand where he's coming from too, and I also agree with him, but to a point. I feel that I have grown and that I can use my own discretion in these situations. We'll see, I'll have to propse my idea to him. Thank you much, I really appreciate it.
I'm wondering if his objection is entirely to do with your safety, or is there something about drug/alcohol use in general that he opposes as well?
I ask because my own personal standards are that I wouldn't choose to be with someone who uses any kind of drug in anything more than a casual relationship, and would be offended/upset if someone I was with had dropped drugs for me and then wanted to go back....
Also, in terms of him "allowing" you to drink or hang out with friends - I wonder what you mean by this, and what part of you is asking his permission before making your own choices?
I dated someone who did this to me as well. I was an alcoholic for a while, so when we started dating all alcohol (even cooking sherry, etc.) was removed from the house and no one was allowed to drink in my presence.
What we ended up doing when I became legal age to drink (since I started dating him when I was 19), was that I sat down with him and talked about it. I let him know that I knew that I had been careless with the various substances, and that I wanted to work *with* him to be responsible in my usage. That helped relieve his fears of my addictions (and my family's addiction history), while it let me learn how to be more responsible while also earning his trust back (I had snuck alcohol, too, when he was keeping me from it).
Usually working with someone else can really help to make it easier on the both of you.
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I ask because my own personal standards are that I wouldn't choose to be with someone who uses any kind of drug in anything more than a casual relationship, and would be offended/upset if someone I was with had dropped drugs for me and then wanted to go back....
Also, in terms of him "allowing" you to drink or hang out with friends - I wonder what you mean by this, and what part of you is asking his permission before making your own choices?
Just something to think about, hope that helps...
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What we ended up doing when I became legal age to drink (since I started dating him when I was 19), was that I sat down with him and talked about it. I let him know that I knew that I had been careless with the various substances, and that I wanted to work *with* him to be responsible in my usage. That helped relieve his fears of my addictions (and my family's addiction history), while it let me learn how to be more responsible while also earning his trust back (I had snuck alcohol, too, when he was keeping me from it).
Usually working with someone else can really help to make it easier on the both of you.
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