Thanks for sharing this. The whole Rihanna thing is driving me nuts too. Well, the way people react. Unfortunately, I have heard from a number of people that exact same sentiment expressed by your brother. It hurts SO badly. But they just don't get it. Or they don't want to. Or something. I have yet to figure out a way to sufficiently explain to ignorant people the nature of abuse and have it sink in.
But it's not about you. I think a lot of people want to believe the victims are at fault so that they don't have to face what a huge problem it is. I don't think that your boyfriend is necessarily going to become abusive just because he said something like that, because victim-blaming is sadly very common and results from ignorance but not necessarily malice.
I know you likely mean brother in that second paragraph, but I just want to clarify that my current boyfriend is about as far from abusive as possible, because he's been through a little of it, too. :-)
Much of society's view is: It's easier to think it's her fault than to admit the world is FULL of people like him.
They all seem to forget conveniently, too, that she'll appear on the stand to testify against him if it does get beyond hearing and plea bargaining.
I'd be pissed off, too. I don't think domestic violence is funny, and I don't think anyone should blame Rihanna for being hit. She wants to think the best of him, like a majority of abused people do.
UGH. I almost lost it with a friend of mine over this whole situation. She made a similar triggering comment about Rihanna. People don't get it at all. If he has promised her that he'll change or whatever, and then this situation happens again it doesn't magically make it her fault. ADSFLAKJSD.
I've seen a no. of people put Rhianna down for going back to Chris. It makes me angry, and I want to try to explain to them exactly what abuse is like and why it's so hard to leave an abusive relationship, but I know they wouldn't get it.
People can be so stupid, and is especially hurtful and frustrating when it's our own families.
It still surprises me when I hear victims of domestic violence blamed: "oh she was so stupid for going back". Even before I was ever in an abusive relationship I knew how people went back - but my mom was a therapist so I heard about things like that. :(
That really sucks you can't tell your family. I don't know if I could handle not telling mine and then having to get trash like that in a text message. :(
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But it's not about you. I think a lot of people want to believe the victims are at fault so that they don't have to face what a huge problem it is. I don't think that your boyfriend is necessarily going to become abusive just because he said something like that, because victim-blaming is sadly very common and results from ignorance but not necessarily malice.
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They all seem to forget conveniently, too, that she'll appear on the stand to testify against him if it does get beyond hearing and plea bargaining.
I'd be pissed off, too. I don't think domestic violence is funny, and I don't think anyone should blame Rihanna for being hit. She wants to think the best of him, like a majority of abused people do.
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People can be so stupid, and is especially hurtful and frustrating when it's our own families.
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That really sucks you can't tell your family. I don't know if I could handle not telling mine and then having to get trash like that in a text message. :(
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