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Why in gods name does EVERYONE that I care most about in the entire world keep fucking leaving me? Its official. I have no one. First my cousins who were like my kids move all the way to florida and now this. im literally shaking. Oh yeah, my grandfather is in the hospital to. i should have stayed in bed today.

not that anyone ever comments on my journal, but if someone could help, I'd be greatful. I like this guy. Very very interested. Its complicated because i like him out of the clear blue, after being friends with him for almost three years. I know when he first met me, he liked me, but now he has a girlfriend. One, that from what i heard, is not the ( Read more... )

I wish it was october or november of 03'. If I'd have spent more time with him then, my life would be completely different. I hate this. I hate that things in everyones lives would be so so different if I had seen him more. :(
what the eff.

me

I'd give ANYTHING for it to be this past weekend again...anything.

Well now, this is odd. How do I suddenly out of NO WHERE like him? odd odd odd I tell ya. Oi. this kinda sucks, dunno whatssss gonna happen. Life is so weird. grr.

I really don't feel like crying myself to sleep AGAIN tonight. But it looks like I've got no choice in the matter. :'(

I can't stop crying. I just can't. The tears and thoughts just wont go away. I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. And I hate myself. I want to be with someone so bad. Its beyond able to be described. I can't even explain how I feel. I just don't want to be alone anymore. What the fuck.

SO its official. My life is completely shot to shit. My cousins are oficially gone, they just left. Theyre on their way to florida, and no I'll only get to see them once a year. On top of all of that, Sean thought that we were just friends, and nothing more. SO at this point,I think im at rock bottom. The only other thing that could be any worse ( Read more... )