A year.
Title: A Year
Rating: PG
Pairing: Maureen- POV [Mentions of Joanne/Maureen] Mr. And Mrs. Jefferson are in here along with an OC character.
Summary: Maureen deals with loosing Joanne after a year.
Disclaimer: I only wish that I owned. Belongs to Jonathan Larson
Notes: THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE! It is by far the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever written. Know why? I CRIED writing it!
A year. It had been a year since I had lost Joanne, my beautiful wife to a car crash in which a drunken driver had run a red light. I was still grief stricken. I couldn’t handle anything. Not waking up with her, not kissing her, touching her, anything. Oh how I longed to hear her say how much she loved me but knew-they would never come.
I got dressed in a suit, all black. Would you believe that I, Maureen Johnson was now working at the very law firm with her father? Okay, only secretary but I couldn’t live my life without being around things that reminded me of Joanne. It wasn’t always easy but I managed, holding my head up high.
“Mommy.” Came the voice of our now three-year-old daughter, Addison, whom looked like both Joanne and I. The insemination was expensive. We wanted her to look like both of us.
“Yes baby?” I asked, walking over to her, kneeling, staring into her eyes. Always swearing that I was looking into Joanne’s. Tears threatened to build but I never cried in front of her, I couldn’t. I knew she was to young to really understand what was going on.
“Do I get to go to work with you?” She asked me, smiling, her words still not clear and precise but she was getting there.
“No, baby girl, not today. Grandma is coming to pick you up.” I told her, placing a kiss on her cheek, “Go get your toys ready.” I added, watching her run off, unable to believe I was raising her on my own.
I heard the knock on the door and went to answer it, finding Joanne’s mother. Her and I now on speaking, friendly terms then again, she finally came to realize what Joanne meant to me. Both of the lawyer’s parents had held me while I sobbed at the sudden news of my beloved’s death in the hospital waiting room.
“Come in. Addison is just getting her toys ready.” I told her, giving the woman a small smile though we both knew what the day was. I watched her just walk in and look at me.
“Are you okay, Mau?” She asked me.
I could only shake my head no, “It’s to hard... I can’t handle not having her here with me.” I whispered, bringing my hand up to fiddle with my wife’s wedding ring that would forever stay on a chain around my neck. Mrs. Jefferson only nodded, wrapping me in an embrace. “I miss her.” I whispered.
“I know. I do too.” She stated, softly, pulling back to look at me before her gaze moved to Addison, I doing the same.
I walked over and picked up her bag, handing it to Mrs. Jefferson before picking up the small brunette, “Have fun with grandma, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said, kissing her cheek, hugging her close to me.
“Love you, mommy.” She told me.
“I love you too, baby girl.” I said, setting her down, watching as the two left. I closed the door and leaned my back against it, refusing to cry at this moment. I gathered my things and left the apartment, unable to stay there alone for too long. I always broke into tears thinking of Joanne and I.
Having picked up roses, Joanne’s favorite flower, I headed to the law firm, heading straight to my desk, needing to do something to keep my mind busy. I looked up only to see Mr. Jefferson walking towards me. I swallowed hard and looked down at the papers sitting in front of me.
“I thought you were taking the day off.” He said, coming to stand in front of me.
I looked up at him, seeing sadness in his eyes. I always saw it. “I thought so but-I couldn’t.” I told him, biting at my bottom lip.
He only nodded, “Are you going to the cemetery today?” He asked, the question seeming to fall from his lips slowly.
“I am.” I replied, feeling tears glass over my eyes once more, “I might just go now. I can’t focus on anything else.” I stated, getting up, grabbing the flowers. “Do you want to come?” I asked, curiously.
“Yes, I’ll go with you.” He told me, together the two of us leaving the firm and heading to the cemetery.
My steps felt heavy. I had been to her gravesite at least once every week. It just really depended. As the time went by, it was only getting harder for me to function without her. Someone told me that it gets easier but so far, I only think that they are lieing to me. It hasn’t gotten easier. I didn’t think it ever would.
I came to stand in front of her headstone, kneeling in the grass only to lay the flowers down, not bothering to stop the tears that were now falling down my cheeks. I felt Mr. Jefferson’s presence behind me, figuring he was just as distraught but I was the only one that found my voice.
“H-- how could you leave me?” I asked for what felt the millionth time since her passing, the tears not bothering to stop, my voice now shaking.
“This isn’t getting easier. I’m tired of answering I’m okay. I’m not… far from okay to be exact.” I stated, tracing Joanne’s name with the pads of my fingers.
“I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Things I long for everyday.” I added, my head dropping as I felt arms around me. I could only lean back into them, sobbing freely over my wife’s grave, a big part of me having died with her. “I love you, Joanne.” I said through my tears, clinging to my wife’s father whom said words that were inaudible to me.
I knew not how long we stayed there nor how I ended up at home on the couch but I woke up to see it five. Mr. Jefferson asleep in the chair. I watched him sleep before getting up and going into the kitchen to get something to drink, feeling my throat slightly sore and dry, my eyes feeling puffy.
Entering the living room, I put on a film of Joanne and I that Mark had made for me and grabbed Kleenex, sinking back down on to the chair, watching, unable to believe a year ago Joanne and I had been smiling and happy together then the next, me grieving her loss.
-Fin.
Thoughts? Opinions? HOPEFULLY, I did good with the POV, not always strong when it comes to writing first person.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Maureen- POV [Mentions of Joanne/Maureen] Mr. And Mrs. Jefferson are in here along with an OC character.
Summary: Maureen deals with loosing Joanne after a year.
Disclaimer: I only wish that I owned. Belongs to Jonathan Larson
Notes: THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE! It is by far the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever written. Know why? I CRIED writing it!
A year. It had been a year since I had lost Joanne, my beautiful wife to a car crash in which a drunken driver had run a red light. I was still grief stricken. I couldn’t handle anything. Not waking up with her, not kissing her, touching her, anything. Oh how I longed to hear her say how much she loved me but knew-they would never come.
I got dressed in a suit, all black. Would you believe that I, Maureen Johnson was now working at the very law firm with her father? Okay, only secretary but I couldn’t live my life without being around things that reminded me of Joanne. It wasn’t always easy but I managed, holding my head up high.
“Mommy.” Came the voice of our now three-year-old daughter, Addison, whom looked like both Joanne and I. The insemination was expensive. We wanted her to look like both of us.
“Yes baby?” I asked, walking over to her, kneeling, staring into her eyes. Always swearing that I was looking into Joanne’s. Tears threatened to build but I never cried in front of her, I couldn’t. I knew she was to young to really understand what was going on.
“Do I get to go to work with you?” She asked me, smiling, her words still not clear and precise but she was getting there.
“No, baby girl, not today. Grandma is coming to pick you up.” I told her, placing a kiss on her cheek, “Go get your toys ready.” I added, watching her run off, unable to believe I was raising her on my own.
I heard the knock on the door and went to answer it, finding Joanne’s mother. Her and I now on speaking, friendly terms then again, she finally came to realize what Joanne meant to me. Both of the lawyer’s parents had held me while I sobbed at the sudden news of my beloved’s death in the hospital waiting room.
“Come in. Addison is just getting her toys ready.” I told her, giving the woman a small smile though we both knew what the day was. I watched her just walk in and look at me.
“Are you okay, Mau?” She asked me.
I could only shake my head no, “It’s to hard... I can’t handle not having her here with me.” I whispered, bringing my hand up to fiddle with my wife’s wedding ring that would forever stay on a chain around my neck. Mrs. Jefferson only nodded, wrapping me in an embrace. “I miss her.” I whispered.
“I know. I do too.” She stated, softly, pulling back to look at me before her gaze moved to Addison, I doing the same.
I walked over and picked up her bag, handing it to Mrs. Jefferson before picking up the small brunette, “Have fun with grandma, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said, kissing her cheek, hugging her close to me.
“Love you, mommy.” She told me.
“I love you too, baby girl.” I said, setting her down, watching as the two left. I closed the door and leaned my back against it, refusing to cry at this moment. I gathered my things and left the apartment, unable to stay there alone for too long. I always broke into tears thinking of Joanne and I.
Having picked up roses, Joanne’s favorite flower, I headed to the law firm, heading straight to my desk, needing to do something to keep my mind busy. I looked up only to see Mr. Jefferson walking towards me. I swallowed hard and looked down at the papers sitting in front of me.
“I thought you were taking the day off.” He said, coming to stand in front of me.
I looked up at him, seeing sadness in his eyes. I always saw it. “I thought so but-I couldn’t.” I told him, biting at my bottom lip.
He only nodded, “Are you going to the cemetery today?” He asked, the question seeming to fall from his lips slowly.
“I am.” I replied, feeling tears glass over my eyes once more, “I might just go now. I can’t focus on anything else.” I stated, getting up, grabbing the flowers. “Do you want to come?” I asked, curiously.
“Yes, I’ll go with you.” He told me, together the two of us leaving the firm and heading to the cemetery.
My steps felt heavy. I had been to her gravesite at least once every week. It just really depended. As the time went by, it was only getting harder for me to function without her. Someone told me that it gets easier but so far, I only think that they are lieing to me. It hasn’t gotten easier. I didn’t think it ever would.
I came to stand in front of her headstone, kneeling in the grass only to lay the flowers down, not bothering to stop the tears that were now falling down my cheeks. I felt Mr. Jefferson’s presence behind me, figuring he was just as distraught but I was the only one that found my voice.
“H-- how could you leave me?” I asked for what felt the millionth time since her passing, the tears not bothering to stop, my voice now shaking.
“This isn’t getting easier. I’m tired of answering I’m okay. I’m not… far from okay to be exact.” I stated, tracing Joanne’s name with the pads of my fingers.
“I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Things I long for everyday.” I added, my head dropping as I felt arms around me. I could only lean back into them, sobbing freely over my wife’s grave, a big part of me having died with her. “I love you, Joanne.” I said through my tears, clinging to my wife’s father whom said words that were inaudible to me.
I knew not how long we stayed there nor how I ended up at home on the couch but I woke up to see it five. Mr. Jefferson asleep in the chair. I watched him sleep before getting up and going into the kitchen to get something to drink, feeling my throat slightly sore and dry, my eyes feeling puffy.
Entering the living room, I put on a film of Joanne and I that Mark had made for me and grabbed Kleenex, sinking back down on to the chair, watching, unable to believe a year ago Joanne and I had been smiling and happy together then the next, me grieving her loss.
-Fin.
Thoughts? Opinions? HOPEFULLY, I did good with the POV, not always strong when it comes to writing first person.