i always comment when i see couples in public showing affection. and i tell myself how awful it is. and yet, i want to be the one with their hand held, whispering in someone's ear.
and when you're finally there, having the door opened for you, you wonder if it's worth making fun of others just to compensate for your own pain.
because when it feels good, you don't want it to feel bad again. ever. and you feel bad that you ever said anything about the man and woman in the coffee shop holding hands.
you should smile more. you have such a beautiful smile.
and life really isn't that bad(even though our president is an asshole and mayor bloomberg publically announced that people should just buy a different breed of dogs besides pit bulls to avoid domestic animal attacks)...
and the pit bulls are still out there. probably sleeping because it's late, or maybe they're attacking someone (i highly doubt it)?
im scared to lose the people i care about most...not having someone scares me..being alone scares me...as much as i say i dont care what other people think about me, if people talk about me or whisper or make fun of me, it hurts and i do care wat they think...i hate change...though usually it turns out i like the new ways..i hate going through the change cuz i hate letting things go..i hate getting rid of old stuff...the junk is where the memories are
sometimes i feel like im gonna die, sometimes i feel like everything i have isnt enough.. which is wrong, but theres always this big empty hole inside me and only one thing can fill... its my secret, its what changed me, its what eventually will kill me, because i cant stop.
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and when you're finally there, having the door opened for you, you wonder if it's worth making fun of others just to compensate for your own pain.
because when it feels good,
you don't want it to feel bad again.
ever.
and you feel bad that you
ever
said anything
about the man and woman in the coffee shop
holding hands.
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and life really isn't that bad(even though our president is an asshole and mayor bloomberg publically announced that people should just buy a different breed of dogs besides pit bulls to avoid domestic animal attacks)...
and the pit bulls are still out there. probably sleeping because it's late, or maybe they're attacking someone (i highly doubt it)?
eat a burrito for me. :)
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i never use to be like this.
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