Fert Report #4 and Transfer

[_journey]

I was putting this post off for a few days, because I was very much hoping McGill would call me back to let me know that at least SOME of the remaining embies made it to blast and would be frozen... but, alas, no call

Comments

[sassywoman]

I'm so sorry you did not end up with any embryos to freeze. I really wish there was something more I could say to help but I know that nothing can really help you feel better right now except for a positive pregnancy test. That is what I will be praying for!

[_journey]

Thank you. The none to freeze thing was a huge blow - I had pretty much convinced myself that that was a totally reachable goal. In fact, I'd told myself that freezing a few embies was the real measure of success for this cycle, as that bfp seemed too elusive and heartbreaking to hope for. I really feel that whenever I try to make things easier for me, Fate deals me a blow that can only be described as cruel :/ I've come around a little, though, and I'm trying to count the blessings I *do* have. That, and I remind myself that no one will die if I get a bfn. It's not like I'm waiting for the call from an oncologist, or that a loved one is in the hospital. That perspective is hard to reach these days, but I think it's crucial that I remain as grounded as possible.

[jiliana]

Everyone's allowed their moments in this. God knows, I've had more than my fair share too. It's so hard to be optimistic about it ALL THE TIME; sometimes you just need to let it out. I get that. I think we all do honey.

And I'm in your boat about the 'no testing at home' bit. I didn't do that either. I needed to hear it from them directly, either way. *hugs*

I'm so sorry that there are none to freeze. I will however have faith for you that you won't need them anyway. One day at a time. That'll get you through.

[_journey]

I wallowed for a couple of days, and now I'm picking up a little bit of speed - just in time to return to work :/ No real "non-prog" symptoms to speak of, but as in the past cycles, I'm dealing with pretty icky constipation. I remember you writing a while ago about what you were taking to cope - can you refresh my memory? Thanks :)

[jiliana]

You bet! I found I was super constipated (thanks progesterone!) very early on. I consulted with a doc and a pharmacist, and both recommended docusate sodium (or colace). I just pick it up off the shelf at Shopper's Drug Mart without any problem. On 'regular' days, I took just one pill in the morning. But when I went for five or six days without a bowel movement, I'd take two at night and two in the morning for a day or so, add a bit of prune juice or prunes to my diet and voilà... problem solved.

Still checking in on you and hoping that things are good. And my fingers are cramping up because I've still got them crossed for you! *hugs*

[skatured]

I'd be upset that there was nothing to freeze as well. I am really really hoping for you that it doesn't matter in the end anyway, because one of the two winner will cross the finish line.

[_journey]

It feels like failure, for sure. E and I haven't discussed our next step, but I think we'd like to get another cycle in before I turn 35 in May, and although it sounds like a looong time away, due to the driving in poor weather consideration, we'd have to do it in the Fall... we'll see. I certainly haven't given up (and E is really the keeping of optimism in these times), but it's wise to hope for the best and plan for the worst.

[melaniejennifer]

Thinking of you.

[_journey]

Thank you!