Anodyne

[_color_me_in]

Falling from a monochrome vault

Comments

[acousticnumber3]

I was reading Fitzgerald, and it reminded me so much of you. That same poetic way of writing, and vivid descriptive quality.

[_color_me_in]

I've only read The Great Gatsby, so I wouldnt have been able to notice any patterns in his writing. How's This Side of Paradise?

[doctormukie]

This poem is a snow globe of angels dancing, marbleized, among fallen leaves. Another virtuoso use of imagery; I like it, but I think you put "where" instead of "were" in the last line of the third stanza

[_color_me_in]

It seems that although you captured the general idea of the paradox. The religious part was definitely unintended. I just think you missed the point behind it

[doctormukie]

Heh, yeah, your explanation makes a lot more of the words mean something

[_color_me_in]

Your first interpretation of "at least the children are happy but is that enough" is in no way what i intended it to sound.

Your next to interpretations are relatively what I meant. I meant to say that if the children are happy, is that enough to blanket the world in white? Is there pure, unadulterated happiness enough to render the graveyard insignificant? Thats the main question in my mind. The worlds dead but the children are happy and I guess thats all that really matters. Because that is probity.

And yeah that was a typo. Im fixing that along with the wordiness in the middle stanzas soon.

[acousticnumber3]

Binx, this perfect example of everything that the ugly English language could be needs to be published. Or at least bound into a book so I can read it and sigh at your brilliance.

[_color_me_in]

You exalt me way too much, girl. You need to look at some of your own stuff. ( preferably write new stuff so all of us can look at it )