opalescent
in
__vam
(no subject)
Blood Lust.
Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four
Chapter five
Chapter six
"You thought…what? I’d be completely changed? Lose my swagger? Forget how to speak, and maybe just grunt?" Ville sounded behind him, he was circling Bam. "I may be a vampire, but im not a demon."
Those words made no sense to Bam. He thought back to the burial. The day he put him in the ground. Well, obviously not him. But.. a casket, empty. Filled with air and dirt and some belongings that he would have wanted down with him. It was him, the band members, family members and a a few close friends.
They decided to make it quiet, and nobody would know. It would be a silent burial.
Lily had chosen the spot, beneath the willow trees. It was romantic and quiet and empty.
It would be empty no longer.
And now he sat next to the casket, staring at Burtons' hands, who sat next to him. Those hands had nailed the casket shut. Those gentle, well worn hands. He could scare conceive of these strong and confident hands, accustomed to playing piano-- she couldn't think they could do anything so unnatural.
And Burton watched them dig. Mige and Villes father, under the trees and the moon. And he waited while they dug.
----
Mige dug with a violent intensity, never looking up. He was covered in earth, the smell of it in his hair. It was a smell full of life and growth, soft and organic. It seemed so soon, he had thought. But it had to be fast, secret-- it had to be silent-- under the cover of night where no one would see or know. No fans, nobody.
And he cringed as he buried his spade into the ground once more-- for they had to move fast. Or the faint perfume of the night would fill with rot and decay. He continued, thinking the movement of it, the rhythm and the pure virtue that is hard labor-- that these would drive the thoughts from his mind.
He wondered why it was he felt this way. Nothing was real. It was almost a sick joke. He felt-- or thought he should have felt-- a tinge of guilt, knowing he'd imagined this a thousand times. It was a matter of time. He imagined how they'd have done it-- flowers and loving words and music. There were none of these here. And he stood beside a monster, with whom he felt, as they worked, a sneaking sense of kinship-- he stood beside this creature, and they dug.
----
Villes father, a horrible man to him, felt ashamed to know that his son had gone missing. Left like a coward. Nobody told him the truth, and it was easier that way. Bam never knew the truth either, until right now. His fading green eyes looking into his own. They weren't orbs anymore, or magical, nor were they resembling anyhting that used to be him. They were just pale green eyes. Nothing more.
Bam tried to remember what it had been like without Ville, but it was impossible. How do you remember nothingness? How do you remember kissing someone you never kissed? The feel of someones mouth on yours that wasnt ever there? Bams life had changed, its center had been removed, but his habits had not altered, and he spent the whole summer glancing expectantly at the door whenever light firm steps drew closer, tensing involuntarily till they faded away. He found himself looking at his watch every day at the same time, the time he’d usually gotten out of rehersal, or called him, or otherwise reminded Bam of his place in Villes life.
Memories of him provided unpleasant little shocks, even though Villes pictures were scattered about his flat, where he left his family to live by himself. Oddly enough, every time Ryan or Gas, or anyone else visited, he found the pictures turned away or laid flat. Once Ryan caught him caressing a silver photo frame turned on its face, his fingers skimming its surface as if it were skin he’d never touch. For some reason he studiously avoided exploring, Bam was the least offensive of all the others, his mien changed so utterly he could have been someone else. He never seemed to meet anyone’s eyes, anymore, even Ryans’s, his ex, although with him he came closest. Ryan was polite with Ape; going for motherly comfort, but little more, clinging most to Bam, and then to DiCo. His bafflement increased his disquiet with them all.
He felt his age increase by decades as he looked in the mirror. He could not take part in the banter, the quips, the byplay.He no longer went with the boys to drink or crash vito's car. He tried, day after day, but his successes seemed to confirm his lonliness more than anything else. They’d forget, they would, and begin joking around him, momentarily displacing Ville’s loss. They seemed to children to him now, now more than ever, and his reaction to them was composed of equal parts bitterness and envy. They’d healed, just a bit, in a way he no longer could. He’d had too many injuries, of heart and spirit and body, not to cosset them in recovery, and flinch at re-injury. Every time he looked in the mirror some early morning, following some late, lone night, he felt it again, and it was new to him all over again.
He began to hide bottles and remedies in various places, where they could be sought when the forced cheer got to him. He didn’t bother with fine vintages any more, but numbed the void inside him with whatever was cheap and powerful. Occasionally, he caught a glimpse of himself in unexpected mirrors, and he flinched at the way the days of summer seemed to have been etched far more deeply into his face than the years with Ville. He regretted, too, drinking by himself, regretted all the things he’d never now get a chance to experience, to fix, to ameliorate.
The others avoided his eyes, at least in the morning, and by the afternoons he had recovered. How young they are, he thought. They were bouncy all the time, lapsing into melancholy only occasionally, and days were accomplished with quips and wisecracks.
But now, with him standing infront of him, it all seemed worthless. The years of torture he put himself through. Ville was here.
"Your eyes.. they arn't the same." Bam observed, as ville still circled him.
"Well.. that can happen under the circumstances" He flased a quick smile, almost too quick for Bam to see. But he caught it. "But.. im still here.. and theres so many thing i want to sa-"
His words were caught by Bams mouth. They were placed over his perfectly, almost elegantly. Soon turning weary. He sobbed into Villes lips.
"I've.. missed you." Bam said, pulling his head into his hands. "So fucking much. It's been hell without you. Theres been days were i wanted to run into traffic or catapault myself off the fucking balcany just to see you again.."
Ville felt himself staring, eerything was different. He felt warm inside. Still felt the heat of Bams lips on his.
His mouth caught Bams, thrusting his tounge inside and pulling his hands up to either sides of his face.
His hands, wrapped around his waist, and his mouth sucking on Villes. Bam was in heaven. There was nothing that could ever describe the feeling right now.
As Ville pulled back he felt a dizzy sensation and noticed something about Bams face. There was colour pouring into it.
Bams eyes were the first to change. The blue melting the grey away, like fire and ice. It was like slow motion love, everything melting back into the world. Things suddenly made sense.
The world was no longer in black and white, and it starting with Bams eyes.
What did you think? Im not sure if im going to add more or not.. but.. give idea's and maybe i will.
<3333 April.
Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four
Chapter five
Chapter six
"You thought…what? I’d be completely changed? Lose my swagger? Forget how to speak, and maybe just grunt?" Ville sounded behind him, he was circling Bam. "I may be a vampire, but im not a demon."
Those words made no sense to Bam. He thought back to the burial. The day he put him in the ground. Well, obviously not him. But.. a casket, empty. Filled with air and dirt and some belongings that he would have wanted down with him. It was him, the band members, family members and a a few close friends.
They decided to make it quiet, and nobody would know. It would be a silent burial.
Lily had chosen the spot, beneath the willow trees. It was romantic and quiet and empty.
It would be empty no longer.
And now he sat next to the casket, staring at Burtons' hands, who sat next to him. Those hands had nailed the casket shut. Those gentle, well worn hands. He could scare conceive of these strong and confident hands, accustomed to playing piano-- she couldn't think they could do anything so unnatural.
And Burton watched them dig. Mige and Villes father, under the trees and the moon. And he waited while they dug.
----
Mige dug with a violent intensity, never looking up. He was covered in earth, the smell of it in his hair. It was a smell full of life and growth, soft and organic. It seemed so soon, he had thought. But it had to be fast, secret-- it had to be silent-- under the cover of night where no one would see or know. No fans, nobody.
And he cringed as he buried his spade into the ground once more-- for they had to move fast. Or the faint perfume of the night would fill with rot and decay. He continued, thinking the movement of it, the rhythm and the pure virtue that is hard labor-- that these would drive the thoughts from his mind.
He wondered why it was he felt this way. Nothing was real. It was almost a sick joke. He felt-- or thought he should have felt-- a tinge of guilt, knowing he'd imagined this a thousand times. It was a matter of time. He imagined how they'd have done it-- flowers and loving words and music. There were none of these here. And he stood beside a monster, with whom he felt, as they worked, a sneaking sense of kinship-- he stood beside this creature, and they dug.
----
Villes father, a horrible man to him, felt ashamed to know that his son had gone missing. Left like a coward. Nobody told him the truth, and it was easier that way. Bam never knew the truth either, until right now. His fading green eyes looking into his own. They weren't orbs anymore, or magical, nor were they resembling anyhting that used to be him. They were just pale green eyes. Nothing more.
Bam tried to remember what it had been like without Ville, but it was impossible. How do you remember nothingness? How do you remember kissing someone you never kissed? The feel of someones mouth on yours that wasnt ever there? Bams life had changed, its center had been removed, but his habits had not altered, and he spent the whole summer glancing expectantly at the door whenever light firm steps drew closer, tensing involuntarily till they faded away. He found himself looking at his watch every day at the same time, the time he’d usually gotten out of rehersal, or called him, or otherwise reminded Bam of his place in Villes life.
Memories of him provided unpleasant little shocks, even though Villes pictures were scattered about his flat, where he left his family to live by himself. Oddly enough, every time Ryan or Gas, or anyone else visited, he found the pictures turned away or laid flat. Once Ryan caught him caressing a silver photo frame turned on its face, his fingers skimming its surface as if it were skin he’d never touch. For some reason he studiously avoided exploring, Bam was the least offensive of all the others, his mien changed so utterly he could have been someone else. He never seemed to meet anyone’s eyes, anymore, even Ryans’s, his ex, although with him he came closest. Ryan was polite with Ape; going for motherly comfort, but little more, clinging most to Bam, and then to DiCo. His bafflement increased his disquiet with them all.
He felt his age increase by decades as he looked in the mirror. He could not take part in the banter, the quips, the byplay.He no longer went with the boys to drink or crash vito's car. He tried, day after day, but his successes seemed to confirm his lonliness more than anything else. They’d forget, they would, and begin joking around him, momentarily displacing Ville’s loss. They seemed to children to him now, now more than ever, and his reaction to them was composed of equal parts bitterness and envy. They’d healed, just a bit, in a way he no longer could. He’d had too many injuries, of heart and spirit and body, not to cosset them in recovery, and flinch at re-injury. Every time he looked in the mirror some early morning, following some late, lone night, he felt it again, and it was new to him all over again.
He began to hide bottles and remedies in various places, where they could be sought when the forced cheer got to him. He didn’t bother with fine vintages any more, but numbed the void inside him with whatever was cheap and powerful. Occasionally, he caught a glimpse of himself in unexpected mirrors, and he flinched at the way the days of summer seemed to have been etched far more deeply into his face than the years with Ville. He regretted, too, drinking by himself, regretted all the things he’d never now get a chance to experience, to fix, to ameliorate.
The others avoided his eyes, at least in the morning, and by the afternoons he had recovered. How young they are, he thought. They were bouncy all the time, lapsing into melancholy only occasionally, and days were accomplished with quips and wisecracks.
But now, with him standing infront of him, it all seemed worthless. The years of torture he put himself through. Ville was here.
"Your eyes.. they arn't the same." Bam observed, as ville still circled him.
"Well.. that can happen under the circumstances" He flased a quick smile, almost too quick for Bam to see. But he caught it. "But.. im still here.. and theres so many thing i want to sa-"
His words were caught by Bams mouth. They were placed over his perfectly, almost elegantly. Soon turning weary. He sobbed into Villes lips.
"I've.. missed you." Bam said, pulling his head into his hands. "So fucking much. It's been hell without you. Theres been days were i wanted to run into traffic or catapault myself off the fucking balcany just to see you again.."
Ville felt himself staring, eerything was different. He felt warm inside. Still felt the heat of Bams lips on his.
His mouth caught Bams, thrusting his tounge inside and pulling his hands up to either sides of his face.
His hands, wrapped around his waist, and his mouth sucking on Villes. Bam was in heaven. There was nothing that could ever describe the feeling right now.
As Ville pulled back he felt a dizzy sensation and noticed something about Bams face. There was colour pouring into it.
Bams eyes were the first to change. The blue melting the grey away, like fire and ice. It was like slow motion love, everything melting back into the world. Things suddenly made sense.
The world was no longer in black and white, and it starting with Bams eyes.
What did you think? Im not sure if im going to add more or not.. but.. give idea's and maybe i will.
<3333 April.