(no subject)
Title: Closet
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam
Summary: Ville and Bam let their chance to be together slip away before, but when the chance to be together arises again, can they make it work... despite keeping it a secret from their friends and family?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: My normal fic with lots of ups and downs.
Authors Notes: I'm feeling fairly confident in what I have planned for this... so I'm going to go ahead and start posting it. No telling when I will post again, might not be for a few days...depends on how the internet accessibility is going on in my life.
Wow... it's been a looong time! But between going away and having a bit of writer's block... I didn't have much time for my lovely reader's-forgive! Please! Hopefully this will help, and since my mojo seems to have returned, I should have more soon! ~crosses fingers~
He knew Bam had woken up, even before the other man had left the bed. The soft sound of his intake of breath, had been enough to alert Ville to his coming departure. He cracked his eyes open and watched Bam slip from the room.
Rolling to his back, Ville stared at the ceiling. It had been hard, these last few months, as Bam continued to fight with Missy over custody of Cyrus. It was hard to prove why she was an unfit person to be around the child, when she could speak such pretty words to the judges. So many people pitied her and said that her attempt to take Cyrus had not been that bad... that it was the desperate act of a woman who wanted nothing more than to be with her son.
There was no tangible proof to why Missy should not be around her son. There was just...a feeling... of dread that both Bam and Ville felt about her being near him. It was a plague on Bam’s soul... putting a wedge between himself and Ville... he was so consumed with worry about Cyrus.
Not that Ville himself wasn’t afraid for the little boy, the child he thought of as his other son. In fact, he might be worried more, since he had no say beyond these walls about what happened to Cyrus. He knew that it didn’t help matters, that he was still working things out with Jonna.
Not in the sense that he wanted to be with her again... that would never happen; but in the sense that they were still trying to do what was best for Alexsi... their son.
And in it’s own way, the pain Ville felt about not being able to speak on the behave of his cherished Cyrus, Bam could not speak out again what he saw with Alexsi. He could talk to Ville, but he had no real say... and while Cyrus preferred to be at home with Bam.... Alexsi was out right vocal about his displeasure with going with Jonna on the rare occasion it happened.
He went with her, because he had too; but he made sure she knew he was not happy being here.
Crawling from the bed they had shared, Ville went into the second room of their hotel, and found Bam sitting on the couch. Quietly, he joined his lover on it, pulling him into his embrace. “Talk to me Bam.” Ville asked gently, wrapping his arms around Bam’s body, kissing his neck gently, trying to give him some measure of comfort.
“What more is there to say Ville?” Bam asked, his voice laced in sadness. “She’ll win... I know she will. She even has my mother convinced that she only acted the way she did, because I kept Cyrus away from her.”
“She doesn’t understand Bam... while I don’t say she doesn’t love him as much as we do... she doesn’t feel what we do, when we are around her.”
Bam closed his eyes, trying to block out the pain he felt. “I’m just so afraid.. that she’ll realize how wrong she is, when it’s too late.”
“He’s safe for now...The courts won’t let her get to him.”
“That’s if she obeys the law.” Bam pointed out, rolling from his side and to his back, so he could look up at his lover better.
“You talked to the security men... they know not to let her onto the property right?”
Bam nodded, “I made it clear...I don’t care what she says, she is not allowed to take Cyrus from that house.”
“Good.. so as long as they don’t take him anywhere... he should be fine.” Ville said.
A frown lingered on his lips, “I just can’t shake off this feeling... that I shouldn’t have left him.”
Ville frowned more and pulled Bam closer, “I won’t let anything happen to him... or you.”
Bam tried to smile, but it didn’t feel right, “I know... and despite it all....I still just wanted to see you for a moment. It’s been months and months of this shit from Missy... I just wanted a moment of happiness with you. I’m sorry... that I’ve just been miserable...”
“No... don’t apologize... I love you and just wish I could do something to help you... to make you happy.”
“And you do...” Bam slid up so he could rest his head against Ville’s chest, taking refuge in his lover’s arms. “You’re coming back to America soon, right?”
Ville nodded, “Hopefully things will be better then.”
“Are you bringing Alexsi with you?”
Again, Ville nodded, “He doesn’t know you’re here. I know he would have thrown an even bigger fit about spending the night with Jonna, if he had known. And I was thinking... we might surprise him tomorrow, when you come with me to pick him up.”
That thought brought a small smile to his face. “I think that would be really nice.”
***
With a sigh, Alexsi leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window. He had peeked into the other room, where his mother was sitting with her make up team and her... boyfriend.
It wasn’t that Jonna, or her boyfriend, had ever done anything to harm him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. After fighting, yelling, and crying, with Ville over spending time with him; Jonna practically ignored him.
He turned his eyes to her now, she was doing what she spent a great deal of her day doing, surrounded by her make up team, preparing her for the runway.
He sighed again, and looked at the clock next to him, wondering how much longer it would be until his father came to get him.
Alexsi turned his eyes to the window again, and watched the snow that was falling from the sky. The ground was covered in it, and he could feel the cold air through the glass next to him. A few more minutes, and a familiar car finally pulled up to the curb. The elation he felt was increased, when he saw two figures get out of the vehicle.
***
Bam looked away from the car, when he heard the door slam against the frame, as it was flung open.
“Mr. Bam!”
The skater beamed when he saw Alexsi come running towards him. He bent down and scooped up the happy, almost-five-year-old, and held him tightly. “Is that really you Alexsi?”
“Is Cy here too?” Alexsi asked, looking around for his friend.
“No...I’m sorry... he’s at home with grandma and grandpa Margera.” Bam said.
“Papa!” Alexsi yelled, reaching out for his father, hugging him tightly. “Can we go and see Cy?”
“Soon... where is your jacket? You don’t even have shoes on!” Ville scolded the little boy.
“I just want to leave papa....” Alexsi said softly into his father’s hair, arms still wrapped around the singer’s neck.
“I know you do...” Ville said softly, rubbing his back. “Why don’t you go into the car with Mr. Bam... and I’ll go get your things.”
“Don’t forget my skateboard!” Alexsi cried, after crawling into the backseat.
Ville chuckled, “I won’t...” He met Bam’s eyes, winking at him; smiling more at the way Bam beamed with pride at Alexsi’s continued interest in his own hobby. He went up to where Jonna was working, (it took him a few minutes to convince the security guards that he was allowed backstage) going through the hallways until he found the room he knew Alexsi was supposed to stay in. In a few minutes, he had everything Alexsi had brought with him, in his over night bag; his beloved skateboard tucked under his arm.
Heading back to where the models were getting ready, ignoring the interested glances he got from several young ladies, he walked over to Jonna. “We’re leaving.”
Jonna looked away from her mirror. “So soon?”
Ville ignored the hurt look in her eyes. “I didn’t think you would mind... considering the fact you didn’t even realize Alexsi was already gone.”
“He’s gone?” Jonna asked, with a note of alarm that didn’t seem to fit the moment. “Where did he go?”
“He’s in the car, downstairs... he practically ran away from here.” As will I, as soon as I can.
“He isn’t even going to say good bye?” Jonna asked softly.
“Maybe if you had been spending time with him, instead of getting your hair done....” Ville started, cut off when her boyfriend stood up.
“Lay off.... she has to work... just like you.”
“This is none of your business.” Ville stated simply.
“Who watches him when you’re busy preparing for a show?” Her boyfriend said, cocky since he believed he had brought up a good point.
“I’m never too busy... for my son.” Ville said, turning to leave, thinking to himself how that word would always be plural in his heart.
“Wait...” Jonna yanked her robe on, and hurried after him. “Let me at least say good bye to him.”
***
After Ville had gone into the building, Bam had slipped back into the car, shutting the door. He pulled out his cell phone and called his house. “Hi Cyrus... I have someone who wants to talk to you.” He handed the phone to Alexsi who beamed with joy.
He continued to watch Alexsi, who was kneeling so he could watch the building through the window, in anticipation for Ville’s return. He talked to Cyrus about how he had learned Ville’s cell phone number, in case he needed to call him when he was with his mother.
Since this was an exciting thing to Alexsi, he decided to share it by helping Cyrus to remember the number as well.
After several minutes, and with Cyrus able to spit back Ville’s cell number fairly easily, the door to the car popped open and Ville leaned in. “Alexsi... your mother would like to say good bye to you.”
Alexsi frowned, “Do I have too?”
Bam couldn’t help but grin a little, “You’ll thank yourself when you are older.”
Alexsi sighed and crawled over Bam, so he could lean out of the car, “Bye mom!” He then reached for his father pulling on his jacket, “Can we go now?”
Ville looked to Jonna and shrugged, “He said good bye.”
“Good bye Alexsi! See you next weekend.” Jonna called back, before she was pulled back into the building to continue getting ready.
“No papa...” Alexsi whined, with sad eyes, shaking his head. “I don’t want to go!”
“I’ll do whatever I can... you know that.” Ville said, feeling bad that their son had to suffer so.
“Maybe I’ll kidnap you both...” Bam teased, “You can’t come here if you’re with me.”
“No... uncle Jesse is fighting!” Alexsi said, looking desperately to his father. “You promised.”
A light clicked on in his head, “That’s right... he is competing next weekend.” Ville said. “We did talk about taking you.”
“You promised.” Alexsi reminded.
Ville chuckled, “That’s right... I promised.”
“Can papa drive?” Alexsi asked, looking to Bam.
“I don’t know... can you?” He asked Ville, grinning.
Ville rolled his eyes at his lover, “I will if you want me too.”
“I do!” Alexsi chimed in. “I haven’t seen Mr. Bam in forever!” His exaggeration of the actual time frame made both adults laugh.
“Forever huh?” Bam asked, setting into the back seat with Alexsi. “That is a long time.”
“It is!” Alexsi said. “I miss you and Cy.”
“Aww... well we miss you too.” Bam said, sincerely touched by the kind words.
“I missed you more.” Alexsi said, in a challenging tone.
“I missed you this much.” Bam said, holding his hands out, to show a large amount of space.
“I missed you this much!” Alexsi said, stretching his hands and arms as far as he could.
“Wow... that is a whole lot.” Bam said, making Ville smile in the front seat.
“I know... papa missed you a whole lot too.”
“How do you know.” Bam asked, without thinking much about it.
“Because he’s always happy when you’re here.” Alexsi said innocently, and in a tone that showed he thought the answer should be obvious.
Bam, though apprehensive about the way this was going, was touched none the less. He looked to the review mirror and met the reflection of Ville’s eyes. “Well...I’m a whole lot happier when I’m here with you and your papa.”
“That’s why you should be here more!” Alexsi concluded.
“Would you like that?” Ville chimed in carefully, drawing their attention to him. “If Mr. Bam and Cyrus were around more often?”
Bam felt his heart beating hard in his chest, as he looked to Alexsi again.
The little boy didn’t skip a beat when he said, “I wish Mr. Bam and Cy could live here forever.”
Bam felt like he could cry then, but managed to contain himself. “Maybe someday we could?”
Alexsi, unaware of how Bam was barely suppressing his emotions, beamed with joy. “Then Cy could be my brother!”
Now, Bam really felt like crying, as he leaned in and whispered to the boy, “He already is.”
Alexsi gazed at Bam in awe, before looking to Ville. “Is he papa?”
Ville nodded, “You’ve been together since you were born... doesn’t that make you brothers?”
“I have a brother.” Alexsi said softly, and as thoughtfully as a child can be. “I’m a big brother!”
“Just like your papa.” Bam pointed out, which really pleased their little boy.
“I’ll be the best big brother ever!” Alexsi cried.
Bam smiled happily at the little boy, “You already are.”
***
In the end, Bam ended up staying longer in Europe, having picked up some work. By the time he was leaving, it was getting close to the time for the band to head over seas as well. In an ironic twist, Seppo ended up getting tickets for Alexsi and Ville on the same plane as Bam, since the plane with the guys was already full.
“Since I’m heading into Philly with Bam... maybe I could stay there with him for a day or two? Maybe take Alexsi to see the sights?” Ville offered carefully.
Seppo shrugged, “Sure... we could all use a little break.”
So as Bam was sadly waiting for his plane to land, he was surprised to see Alexsi come running over to him, with the news that he was coming to stay with him in America. “And I’m bringing my papa too!”
The mood had changed then, especially by the time they got back to Bam’s house. There was a relief that came with finding Cyrus tucked safely in bed, doubled by knowing Alexsi was safe in these walls as well.
It allowed them the emotional comfort they needed, to indulge in the intimacy they had been too stressed to share earlier. Laying in bed, tangled in each other's embrace, they knew they shouldn’t linger... and yet... they were finding it harder and harder to leave.
***
They were woken up the next morning, by Cyrus’ happy cheers to discover his best friend Alexsi was here. Even with knowing the children would be looking for them, quite literally any minute now... they did not run from the bed they had shared.
Once they did, they were both slow to dress, pausing more than occasionally to share kisses and touches, as they pulled on casual clothes and went into the hallway. They passed the boy’s bedroom, unaware of the conversation going on inside of it.
“Really?” Cyrus asked in an amazed manner, before the four-year-old sniffed deeply. It was January and April believed he was coming down with a cold. She had scheduled him an appointment to see the doctor in a few days.
Alexsi nodded in an official manner, “Yup... your daddy even said so.”
“Wow...” Cyrus’ amazement turned to joy. “That’s better than being friends forever.”
Alexsi agreed, “We’re brothers forever now.”
Cyrus suddenly took on a note of sadness. “I wish you could stay here forever.”
Sharing in his friends sadness, Alexsi nodded, “But... your papa said... we could someday.”
“Really?” Cyrus asked, with wide, hopeful, eyes. “That would be great!”
“I know!” Alexsi was quiet for a moment, “Do you think... I could call your daddy-papa? Since we’re brothers now?”
Cyrus seriously thought about the question for a moment. “I don’t know.” He finally admitted with a shrug, “Let’s ask.”
***
“Daddy...”
“Yes Cyrus.” Bam said, turning his eyes to his son. He was sitting in his office, with Ville, under the guise they were doing “work”; when they were actually stealing a little more quality time. Time which had been put on hold, when their sons wanted to talk to them.
“Alexsi is my brother... right?” Cyrus asked, which both Bam and Ville agreed too.
“Can he call you daddy then?” Cyrus asked.
Bam was completely unprepared for this question and it showed on his face. He looked between Cyrus and Alexsi, who both gazed back at him, with worried, innocent, eyes. He then looked to Ville, who had the same panicked look as he did. They had both talked secretly of how they were a family, but to use those words in reality had never been considered. “Well....”
“Please.” Alexsi put in, in just the right yank-out-your-heart manner.
“Of....” Bam started, looking to Ville, who added in, “Course.” Bam looked to the children again and finished, “You can.” Neither sounded sure of their words, but it was missed by the boys who were delighted by the response.
“Can you be Cy’s papa too?” Alexsi asked with a bit more confidence, looking to Ville.
“That’s fine with me... Bam?” Ville asked, turning the question, and the boy’s attention, to him.
“Sure?” Bam offered with a shrug.
“Yeah! We are a family!” The boys cheered, before running from the room.
Bam looked to Ville, holding his hands out, at a loss for what to say or do. “What the fuck was that?”
Ville chuckled, pulling Bam close, before kissing him deeply. “Our family coming together?”
Bam smiled, kissing Ville again, “Sounds great to me.”
***
It was another sad day, when Ville had to go. It seemed like there was never enough time, this particular time made worse because the weather was getting so bad, and Cyrus was definitely sick.
Bam agreed to drive Ville and Cyrus to the airport. Since Cyrus was so sick, they thought it would be best if he stayed at home.
“He has a doctors appointment tomorrow.” April told them. “He’ll be fine until then... I’ve seen much worse.”
That was all well and good for April, but it didn’t stop his parents from worrying.... or his big brother.... who was lecturing him about the importance of keeping his head dry as if he actually understood what he was talking about.
“Where did he get that from?” Bam asked, after they finished loading child and luggage into the car.
“My mother always tells me to stay dry... I think he got it from her.” Ville whispered back.
They got to the airport, before the weather started to pick up. They departed, in the same silently, heart wrenching, way they always did. It was bad enough saying good bye, made worse by their time constraints and the unknown amount of time they would have to wait to see each other again; but the worse part was not being able to say good bye the way their hearts ached too.
As things turned out, the weather was too bad to fly, so Ville and Alexsi had to bunk out in a hotel room for the night. The change of plans made Alexsi particularly sour since he kept talking about how he could be playing with Cy. Ville assured his son, as best as he could, that he understood his pain... he would much rather be at Bam’s home then here. But Bam was already back in West Chester, there was no calling him back now. He didn’t know what he would do if Bam wreaked... especially because of him.
It was late before Alexsi settled down enough to go to sleep. He tucked his son into the second bed, kissed his head and turned out the lights. He had barely taken a step away from him, when his phone rang.
Ville hurried to answer it and was horrified to hear what Bam had to say next. “What?” Ville kept asking, since the words didn’t make sense... it wouldn’t sink into his mind.
“He’s gone!” Bam cried into the phone, his voice filled with panic. “She took him!”
“Who.... who took him?”
“Missy!” Bam cried again. “She took Cyrus.....”
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/9439.html
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4028136.html?view=57022440#t57022440
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4029038.html?view=57049198#t57049198
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4030826.html
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam
Summary: Ville and Bam let their chance to be together slip away before, but when the chance to be together arises again, can they make it work... despite keeping it a secret from their friends and family?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: My normal fic with lots of ups and downs.
Authors Notes: I'm feeling fairly confident in what I have planned for this... so I'm going to go ahead and start posting it. No telling when I will post again, might not be for a few days...depends on how the internet accessibility is going on in my life.
Wow... it's been a looong time! But between going away and having a bit of writer's block... I didn't have much time for my lovely reader's-forgive! Please! Hopefully this will help, and since my mojo seems to have returned, I should have more soon! ~crosses fingers~
He knew Bam had woken up, even before the other man had left the bed. The soft sound of his intake of breath, had been enough to alert Ville to his coming departure. He cracked his eyes open and watched Bam slip from the room.
Rolling to his back, Ville stared at the ceiling. It had been hard, these last few months, as Bam continued to fight with Missy over custody of Cyrus. It was hard to prove why she was an unfit person to be around the child, when she could speak such pretty words to the judges. So many people pitied her and said that her attempt to take Cyrus had not been that bad... that it was the desperate act of a woman who wanted nothing more than to be with her son.
There was no tangible proof to why Missy should not be around her son. There was just...a feeling... of dread that both Bam and Ville felt about her being near him. It was a plague on Bam’s soul... putting a wedge between himself and Ville... he was so consumed with worry about Cyrus.
Not that Ville himself wasn’t afraid for the little boy, the child he thought of as his other son. In fact, he might be worried more, since he had no say beyond these walls about what happened to Cyrus. He knew that it didn’t help matters, that he was still working things out with Jonna.
Not in the sense that he wanted to be with her again... that would never happen; but in the sense that they were still trying to do what was best for Alexsi... their son.
And in it’s own way, the pain Ville felt about not being able to speak on the behave of his cherished Cyrus, Bam could not speak out again what he saw with Alexsi. He could talk to Ville, but he had no real say... and while Cyrus preferred to be at home with Bam.... Alexsi was out right vocal about his displeasure with going with Jonna on the rare occasion it happened.
He went with her, because he had too; but he made sure she knew he was not happy being here.
Crawling from the bed they had shared, Ville went into the second room of their hotel, and found Bam sitting on the couch. Quietly, he joined his lover on it, pulling him into his embrace. “Talk to me Bam.” Ville asked gently, wrapping his arms around Bam’s body, kissing his neck gently, trying to give him some measure of comfort.
“What more is there to say Ville?” Bam asked, his voice laced in sadness. “She’ll win... I know she will. She even has my mother convinced that she only acted the way she did, because I kept Cyrus away from her.”
“She doesn’t understand Bam... while I don’t say she doesn’t love him as much as we do... she doesn’t feel what we do, when we are around her.”
Bam closed his eyes, trying to block out the pain he felt. “I’m just so afraid.. that she’ll realize how wrong she is, when it’s too late.”
“He’s safe for now...The courts won’t let her get to him.”
“That’s if she obeys the law.” Bam pointed out, rolling from his side and to his back, so he could look up at his lover better.
“You talked to the security men... they know not to let her onto the property right?”
Bam nodded, “I made it clear...I don’t care what she says, she is not allowed to take Cyrus from that house.”
“Good.. so as long as they don’t take him anywhere... he should be fine.” Ville said.
A frown lingered on his lips, “I just can’t shake off this feeling... that I shouldn’t have left him.”
Ville frowned more and pulled Bam closer, “I won’t let anything happen to him... or you.”
Bam tried to smile, but it didn’t feel right, “I know... and despite it all....I still just wanted to see you for a moment. It’s been months and months of this shit from Missy... I just wanted a moment of happiness with you. I’m sorry... that I’ve just been miserable...”
“No... don’t apologize... I love you and just wish I could do something to help you... to make you happy.”
“And you do...” Bam slid up so he could rest his head against Ville’s chest, taking refuge in his lover’s arms. “You’re coming back to America soon, right?”
Ville nodded, “Hopefully things will be better then.”
“Are you bringing Alexsi with you?”
Again, Ville nodded, “He doesn’t know you’re here. I know he would have thrown an even bigger fit about spending the night with Jonna, if he had known. And I was thinking... we might surprise him tomorrow, when you come with me to pick him up.”
That thought brought a small smile to his face. “I think that would be really nice.”
***
With a sigh, Alexsi leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window. He had peeked into the other room, where his mother was sitting with her make up team and her... boyfriend.
It wasn’t that Jonna, or her boyfriend, had ever done anything to harm him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. After fighting, yelling, and crying, with Ville over spending time with him; Jonna practically ignored him.
He turned his eyes to her now, she was doing what she spent a great deal of her day doing, surrounded by her make up team, preparing her for the runway.
He sighed again, and looked at the clock next to him, wondering how much longer it would be until his father came to get him.
Alexsi turned his eyes to the window again, and watched the snow that was falling from the sky. The ground was covered in it, and he could feel the cold air through the glass next to him. A few more minutes, and a familiar car finally pulled up to the curb. The elation he felt was increased, when he saw two figures get out of the vehicle.
***
Bam looked away from the car, when he heard the door slam against the frame, as it was flung open.
“Mr. Bam!”
The skater beamed when he saw Alexsi come running towards him. He bent down and scooped up the happy, almost-five-year-old, and held him tightly. “Is that really you Alexsi?”
“Is Cy here too?” Alexsi asked, looking around for his friend.
“No...I’m sorry... he’s at home with grandma and grandpa Margera.” Bam said.
“Papa!” Alexsi yelled, reaching out for his father, hugging him tightly. “Can we go and see Cy?”
“Soon... where is your jacket? You don’t even have shoes on!” Ville scolded the little boy.
“I just want to leave papa....” Alexsi said softly into his father’s hair, arms still wrapped around the singer’s neck.
“I know you do...” Ville said softly, rubbing his back. “Why don’t you go into the car with Mr. Bam... and I’ll go get your things.”
“Don’t forget my skateboard!” Alexsi cried, after crawling into the backseat.
Ville chuckled, “I won’t...” He met Bam’s eyes, winking at him; smiling more at the way Bam beamed with pride at Alexsi’s continued interest in his own hobby. He went up to where Jonna was working, (it took him a few minutes to convince the security guards that he was allowed backstage) going through the hallways until he found the room he knew Alexsi was supposed to stay in. In a few minutes, he had everything Alexsi had brought with him, in his over night bag; his beloved skateboard tucked under his arm.
Heading back to where the models were getting ready, ignoring the interested glances he got from several young ladies, he walked over to Jonna. “We’re leaving.”
Jonna looked away from her mirror. “So soon?”
Ville ignored the hurt look in her eyes. “I didn’t think you would mind... considering the fact you didn’t even realize Alexsi was already gone.”
“He’s gone?” Jonna asked, with a note of alarm that didn’t seem to fit the moment. “Where did he go?”
“He’s in the car, downstairs... he practically ran away from here.” As will I, as soon as I can.
“He isn’t even going to say good bye?” Jonna asked softly.
“Maybe if you had been spending time with him, instead of getting your hair done....” Ville started, cut off when her boyfriend stood up.
“Lay off.... she has to work... just like you.”
“This is none of your business.” Ville stated simply.
“Who watches him when you’re busy preparing for a show?” Her boyfriend said, cocky since he believed he had brought up a good point.
“I’m never too busy... for my son.” Ville said, turning to leave, thinking to himself how that word would always be plural in his heart.
“Wait...” Jonna yanked her robe on, and hurried after him. “Let me at least say good bye to him.”
***
After Ville had gone into the building, Bam had slipped back into the car, shutting the door. He pulled out his cell phone and called his house. “Hi Cyrus... I have someone who wants to talk to you.” He handed the phone to Alexsi who beamed with joy.
He continued to watch Alexsi, who was kneeling so he could watch the building through the window, in anticipation for Ville’s return. He talked to Cyrus about how he had learned Ville’s cell phone number, in case he needed to call him when he was with his mother.
Since this was an exciting thing to Alexsi, he decided to share it by helping Cyrus to remember the number as well.
After several minutes, and with Cyrus able to spit back Ville’s cell number fairly easily, the door to the car popped open and Ville leaned in. “Alexsi... your mother would like to say good bye to you.”
Alexsi frowned, “Do I have too?”
Bam couldn’t help but grin a little, “You’ll thank yourself when you are older.”
Alexsi sighed and crawled over Bam, so he could lean out of the car, “Bye mom!” He then reached for his father pulling on his jacket, “Can we go now?”
Ville looked to Jonna and shrugged, “He said good bye.”
“Good bye Alexsi! See you next weekend.” Jonna called back, before she was pulled back into the building to continue getting ready.
“No papa...” Alexsi whined, with sad eyes, shaking his head. “I don’t want to go!”
“I’ll do whatever I can... you know that.” Ville said, feeling bad that their son had to suffer so.
“Maybe I’ll kidnap you both...” Bam teased, “You can’t come here if you’re with me.”
“No... uncle Jesse is fighting!” Alexsi said, looking desperately to his father. “You promised.”
A light clicked on in his head, “That’s right... he is competing next weekend.” Ville said. “We did talk about taking you.”
“You promised.” Alexsi reminded.
Ville chuckled, “That’s right... I promised.”
“Can papa drive?” Alexsi asked, looking to Bam.
“I don’t know... can you?” He asked Ville, grinning.
Ville rolled his eyes at his lover, “I will if you want me too.”
“I do!” Alexsi chimed in. “I haven’t seen Mr. Bam in forever!” His exaggeration of the actual time frame made both adults laugh.
“Forever huh?” Bam asked, setting into the back seat with Alexsi. “That is a long time.”
“It is!” Alexsi said. “I miss you and Cy.”
“Aww... well we miss you too.” Bam said, sincerely touched by the kind words.
“I missed you more.” Alexsi said, in a challenging tone.
“I missed you this much.” Bam said, holding his hands out, to show a large amount of space.
“I missed you this much!” Alexsi said, stretching his hands and arms as far as he could.
“Wow... that is a whole lot.” Bam said, making Ville smile in the front seat.
“I know... papa missed you a whole lot too.”
“How do you know.” Bam asked, without thinking much about it.
“Because he’s always happy when you’re here.” Alexsi said innocently, and in a tone that showed he thought the answer should be obvious.
Bam, though apprehensive about the way this was going, was touched none the less. He looked to the review mirror and met the reflection of Ville’s eyes. “Well...I’m a whole lot happier when I’m here with you and your papa.”
“That’s why you should be here more!” Alexsi concluded.
“Would you like that?” Ville chimed in carefully, drawing their attention to him. “If Mr. Bam and Cyrus were around more often?”
Bam felt his heart beating hard in his chest, as he looked to Alexsi again.
The little boy didn’t skip a beat when he said, “I wish Mr. Bam and Cy could live here forever.”
Bam felt like he could cry then, but managed to contain himself. “Maybe someday we could?”
Alexsi, unaware of how Bam was barely suppressing his emotions, beamed with joy. “Then Cy could be my brother!”
Now, Bam really felt like crying, as he leaned in and whispered to the boy, “He already is.”
Alexsi gazed at Bam in awe, before looking to Ville. “Is he papa?”
Ville nodded, “You’ve been together since you were born... doesn’t that make you brothers?”
“I have a brother.” Alexsi said softly, and as thoughtfully as a child can be. “I’m a big brother!”
“Just like your papa.” Bam pointed out, which really pleased their little boy.
“I’ll be the best big brother ever!” Alexsi cried.
Bam smiled happily at the little boy, “You already are.”
***
In the end, Bam ended up staying longer in Europe, having picked up some work. By the time he was leaving, it was getting close to the time for the band to head over seas as well. In an ironic twist, Seppo ended up getting tickets for Alexsi and Ville on the same plane as Bam, since the plane with the guys was already full.
“Since I’m heading into Philly with Bam... maybe I could stay there with him for a day or two? Maybe take Alexsi to see the sights?” Ville offered carefully.
Seppo shrugged, “Sure... we could all use a little break.”
So as Bam was sadly waiting for his plane to land, he was surprised to see Alexsi come running over to him, with the news that he was coming to stay with him in America. “And I’m bringing my papa too!”
The mood had changed then, especially by the time they got back to Bam’s house. There was a relief that came with finding Cyrus tucked safely in bed, doubled by knowing Alexsi was safe in these walls as well.
It allowed them the emotional comfort they needed, to indulge in the intimacy they had been too stressed to share earlier. Laying in bed, tangled in each other's embrace, they knew they shouldn’t linger... and yet... they were finding it harder and harder to leave.
***
They were woken up the next morning, by Cyrus’ happy cheers to discover his best friend Alexsi was here. Even with knowing the children would be looking for them, quite literally any minute now... they did not run from the bed they had shared.
Once they did, they were both slow to dress, pausing more than occasionally to share kisses and touches, as they pulled on casual clothes and went into the hallway. They passed the boy’s bedroom, unaware of the conversation going on inside of it.
“Really?” Cyrus asked in an amazed manner, before the four-year-old sniffed deeply. It was January and April believed he was coming down with a cold. She had scheduled him an appointment to see the doctor in a few days.
Alexsi nodded in an official manner, “Yup... your daddy even said so.”
“Wow...” Cyrus’ amazement turned to joy. “That’s better than being friends forever.”
Alexsi agreed, “We’re brothers forever now.”
Cyrus suddenly took on a note of sadness. “I wish you could stay here forever.”
Sharing in his friends sadness, Alexsi nodded, “But... your papa said... we could someday.”
“Really?” Cyrus asked, with wide, hopeful, eyes. “That would be great!”
“I know!” Alexsi was quiet for a moment, “Do you think... I could call your daddy-papa? Since we’re brothers now?”
Cyrus seriously thought about the question for a moment. “I don’t know.” He finally admitted with a shrug, “Let’s ask.”
***
“Daddy...”
“Yes Cyrus.” Bam said, turning his eyes to his son. He was sitting in his office, with Ville, under the guise they were doing “work”; when they were actually stealing a little more quality time. Time which had been put on hold, when their sons wanted to talk to them.
“Alexsi is my brother... right?” Cyrus asked, which both Bam and Ville agreed too.
“Can he call you daddy then?” Cyrus asked.
Bam was completely unprepared for this question and it showed on his face. He looked between Cyrus and Alexsi, who both gazed back at him, with worried, innocent, eyes. He then looked to Ville, who had the same panicked look as he did. They had both talked secretly of how they were a family, but to use those words in reality had never been considered. “Well....”
“Please.” Alexsi put in, in just the right yank-out-your-heart manner.
“Of....” Bam started, looking to Ville, who added in, “Course.” Bam looked to the children again and finished, “You can.” Neither sounded sure of their words, but it was missed by the boys who were delighted by the response.
“Can you be Cy’s papa too?” Alexsi asked with a bit more confidence, looking to Ville.
“That’s fine with me... Bam?” Ville asked, turning the question, and the boy’s attention, to him.
“Sure?” Bam offered with a shrug.
“Yeah! We are a family!” The boys cheered, before running from the room.
Bam looked to Ville, holding his hands out, at a loss for what to say or do. “What the fuck was that?”
Ville chuckled, pulling Bam close, before kissing him deeply. “Our family coming together?”
Bam smiled, kissing Ville again, “Sounds great to me.”
***
It was another sad day, when Ville had to go. It seemed like there was never enough time, this particular time made worse because the weather was getting so bad, and Cyrus was definitely sick.
Bam agreed to drive Ville and Cyrus to the airport. Since Cyrus was so sick, they thought it would be best if he stayed at home.
“He has a doctors appointment tomorrow.” April told them. “He’ll be fine until then... I’ve seen much worse.”
That was all well and good for April, but it didn’t stop his parents from worrying.... or his big brother.... who was lecturing him about the importance of keeping his head dry as if he actually understood what he was talking about.
“Where did he get that from?” Bam asked, after they finished loading child and luggage into the car.
“My mother always tells me to stay dry... I think he got it from her.” Ville whispered back.
They got to the airport, before the weather started to pick up. They departed, in the same silently, heart wrenching, way they always did. It was bad enough saying good bye, made worse by their time constraints and the unknown amount of time they would have to wait to see each other again; but the worse part was not being able to say good bye the way their hearts ached too.
As things turned out, the weather was too bad to fly, so Ville and Alexsi had to bunk out in a hotel room for the night. The change of plans made Alexsi particularly sour since he kept talking about how he could be playing with Cy. Ville assured his son, as best as he could, that he understood his pain... he would much rather be at Bam’s home then here. But Bam was already back in West Chester, there was no calling him back now. He didn’t know what he would do if Bam wreaked... especially because of him.
It was late before Alexsi settled down enough to go to sleep. He tucked his son into the second bed, kissed his head and turned out the lights. He had barely taken a step away from him, when his phone rang.
Ville hurried to answer it and was horrified to hear what Bam had to say next. “What?” Ville kept asking, since the words didn’t make sense... it wouldn’t sink into his mind.
“He’s gone!” Bam cried into the phone, his voice filled with panic. “She took him!”
“Who.... who took him?”
“Missy!” Bam cried again. “She took Cyrus.....”
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