(no subject)
Title: Patient Forgiveness
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R for content
Pairing: Vam all the way!
Summary: When Bam and Ville finally are given a chance to be together, will they be able to make the life they always wanted?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: Angsty in the beginning, but it will get better! I swear!
Authors Notes: I'm still pulling this story together, so hopefully it will work well with me posting it before its done. I've only rewritten this story like... eight times...
Additional Warnings: Having tissues handy is advisable....
kallisarvoinen=Precious
äiti=Mother
April came through the door and immediately frowned as she looked at the twins who were playing on the floor.
“Now before you say anything.” Ryan said as he stood up. “I’ve seen Bam Margera do some pretty gay things in his life; but while you were at work, I witnessed what must have been the gayest fight in my whole life between Bam and Ville.”
“It’s true.” Katri put in as she looked up from the twins. “They fought for an hour over whether the twins should wear vests or not… which turned into a debate over ties with vests or ties without vests, or vests with no tie.”
“Awww… but those suits were so cute.” April said with obvious disappointment.
“Well they finally gave up and decided to put the boys in their pajamas instead.” Ryan said.
“I’m sure they are more comfortable this way anyways.” Katri added.
“I suppose so… but I wanted them to look nice for Mrs. Rintala’s visit… especially since they have such nice hair cuts.” April said as she walked over to the boys.
“I don’t think she will mind… she’s not as picky as momma and papa are.” Katri mentioned casually.
April nodded, “Well…I suppose I will go and get changed.”
“Seriously April…” Katri said as she stood up, “Don’t worry so much… Mrs. Rintala is a really relaxed person. She won’t mind if a hair or two is out of place.”
April smiled, “Thank you.”
“I’m going to go see if Phil needs any help getting dinner ready.” Ryan said, kissing Katri before heading into the kitchen.
For the fourth time since Ville and Bam had left to go to the airport, she noticed Niklas watching the door. She walked over to where he was sitting, half way between his brother and the front door. “It’s alright Niklas… daddy and papa will be home soon.” She said softly as she crouched down next to him. He immediately pulled himself up, indicating to the door, babbling softly as he looked to Katri, his eyes round and sad.
She was able to distract him for a little bit, but his attention seem to continue to wonder away from her. By the time April had washed up and changed, another car pulled into the driveway, honking its horn.
Niklas’ attention was immediately drawn to the door and then to Katri, who smiled at him. “That must be papa! Papa and daddy are home and they brought some guests with them!” She said happily.
She moved to a standing position, walking slowly behind him as he crawled, scooping him up and propping him on her hip before he got to close to the door. She whispered to him about his papa, which made Niklas smile and babble happily.
The door opened and in came a member of their family, but not the one they thought it would be. Jess smiled at his nephew and got a “Hi Niklas” out before the little boy reacted.
The smile fell from Niklas’ face as he shouted, “NO!” indicating to Jess as he do so. It caused even Katri to take a double take since it was so unexpected. Niklas immediately start fussing and squirming around in her arms as he looked for Ville. Jess’ wife and children came in, closing the door behind them. That was when the real tears came.
Niklas opened his mouth and screamed, tears running down his cheeks as he waved his arms about, wanting to be put down.
Not sure what to do, Katri put him down. He immediately crawled to the door, pulled himself up and smacked it before trying to reach for the doorknob. She tried to move him away from the door, but he went limp in her arms until she put him down again, crawling right back to the door.
“What’s going on?” April asked as she hurried into the living room, followed by Ryan and Phil.
“I’m sorry mom, but I got Niklas all upset some how.” Jess said, visibly saddened because of the way his nephew had reacted to him.
“It’s not your fault Jess…” Katri called over Niklas’ crying, carrying over to his brother. “He was expecting someone else.”
“Who?” Jess’ wife asked as she looked to April.
“I’m guessing papa.” Ryan said, which April agreed too.
“You poor thing.” April said softly as she walked over to the little boy. He was sitting on the floor, his hands near his face as he continued to cry. She attempted to pick him up, but he smacked her away and practically threw himself on the floor.
Esa’s watched Niklas for a moment or two before he spit out his pacifier and started crying too. He seemed to vocalize what Niklas couldn’t as he babbled, “dada…papa….”
While his tears eventually slowed down, the next hour was spent trying to keep him away from the door. While they didn’t want him to get hit by the door when it opened, it made him even more upset. After a while, he just sat on the floor as close as he could get to the door, his bottom lip stuck out as he gazed longingly at the door.
About fifteen or twenty minutes later, the door opened as Bam came in, “It’s cold as heck out there.” He commented, brushing the snow off his jacket. Both the twins looked to him, Esa with a bright smile on his face while Niklas’ eyes were wide with hope, as they crawled towards him.
Bam was followed by Mrs. Rintala, Jesse Valo, Mali, and finally Ville.
As carefully as he could, Bam stepped over Esa so he could put the luggage down by the stairs. Esa, who believed most things in life was a game, merely flipped to the opposite side and crawled after him, laughing happily.
Jesse put his and Mali’s luggage down and turned to help her with her jacket. She smiled brightly as she indicated to the twins that were crawling around.
Niklas started working himself up for a whole new fit when he saw Ville, the jerky kind of cry that babies get when they can’t be picked up as quickly as they want to be.
It broke his heart, as Ville tried to maneuver around the baby that started crying harder the longer he delayed picking him up. “Just one second Niklas… papa has to put this stuff down.” Ville said as he looked for a spot to put Mrs. Rintala’s stuff down.
Undaunted, Niklas followed Ville; sitting by him as he reached out for him, flapping his fingers back and forth in the same way he might wave at someone.
Ville put the bags down and tore his jacket, hat, and scarf off; before scooping his son up. He held his son's warm, trembling, body against his chest, resting his cheek against his son’s head as he rubbed his back. Closing his eyes, he softly whispered to Niklas in Finnish, who was already much calmer.
Resting his head on his papa’s shoulder, Niklas was soon sucking on his thumb, his arm around Ville’s neck, so his other hand could hold on to his hair.
“See… I’m not the only one who loves you and your gorgeous hair.” Bam said softly, leaning in to kiss Ville gently before kissing the back of Niklas’ head. He had Esa in his arms, so Ville took the chance to kiss Esa on the cheek, making him giggle happily.
“Äiti* Alli…” Katri said softly as she walked over to Mrs. Rintala and hugged her gently.
“Kallisarvoinen*…” Mrs. Rintala whispered back, wrapping one arm around Katri, placing her other hand on the young woman’s head. She hugged Katri, before kissing her head, just to hug her again. She pulled back enough to look her over, smiling lovingly at Katri who had started to cry. She reached out and gently brushed away her tears before touching her cheek. “You look lovely.”
Katri quickly brushed her tears away, her cheeks flushed as she looked to Ryan. She grabbed his hand and pulled him over, “This is Ryan.”
Mrs. Rintala smiled at Ryan, pulling him for a hug like she had known him his whole life. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She whispered in Finnish since she knew he was familiar with the language.
“You too.” Ryan whispered back.
“Jesse…” Katri said as she hugged her little brother tightly, rubbing the back of his shaved head. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Jesse answered, “You remember Mali right?”
Katri smiled at the other woman and hugged her, “Of course I do. How is Keit?” She switched to Thai to address Mali.
Bam watched as Jesse hugged Ville, looking at Niklas who wanted nothing to do with his uncle, which didn’t bother the Thai boxer at all. Jesse, Bam observed, looked remarkably like his brother in real life. He wasn’t as tall as Ville, despite being taller than Katri; creating a sort of staircase affect between the three of them.
He had the same dark hair as his older siblings, though his eyes were a warm friendly brown color. To say that he was happy or even light hearted didn’t seem to be enough to express the aura around Jesse Valo. He seemed… at peace with himself, comfortable in even this new situation. There was a quiet confidence in the way he moved and spoke, like the wise old monks you see in martial arts movies.
Like his brother and sister, Jesse had aged in a way that went past his actual year, and yet the cause of that didn’t seem to weigh him down as it did Katri and Ville.
Mali, who was standing close to him, was a delicate wisp of a woman. She was significantly shorter than Jesse, who like to playfully tease her about it by resting his chin on her head. She would laugh and push him away, poking him repeatedly in the sides, which made him laugh until his cheeks turned red. He would pull her in for a hug, lifting her off the floor for a moment before kissing her on the cheek.
After everyone else had been introduced, Ville got Mrs. Rintala’s, Jesse’s, and Mali’s attention. “And lastly, but certainly not least… are the birthday boys.”
“In the orange, with dark blue trim, footsie pajama’s with Sponge Bob Square Pants chasing a jelly fish is… Niklas.” Bam said, indicating to the baby Ville was still holding. “And in the light blue, jungle themed, footsie pajamas is Esa.”
Esa laughed happily, bouncing on Bam’s arm as he chanted his favorite word, “dad-dad-dad-dad.”
Mrs. Rintala chuckled, touching each boy gently on the cheek. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
“They are certainly beautiful children.” Jesse commented on, which Mali agreed on.
“Please…come and sit down…” April said as she indicated the couch.
****
Mrs. Rintala looked to her left when she felt something pull on her skirt. She smiled at Esa as he handed her a lime green ball, with bumps all over it. “Why thank you Esa.” She said softly, reaching out to touch him gently on the cheek.
Esa smiled around his binky, babbling happily as he tapped his hand against the ball, before taking it back from her; switching the green ball with a hard plastic, robins egg blue ball.
“This is a nice ball too.” She said to him softly, smiling as he hit the green ball against the blue one.
Crying happily, Esa bounced as he leaned against her leg. Turning his attention to the ball in his hand, he smacked it a few times against his palm before spitting out his pacifier to chew on it.
Resting her hand on his head, she turned and looked to her other side as Niklas pulled himself up. He looked over his shoulder before looking at her. His mouth barely moved as he made soft noises, slowly handing her a stuffed cloth block.
“More presents? You are both such nice boys.”
Slowly Niklas moved closer to her, looking at Ville (who was standing a few feet away from them) now and then as he played with her skirt.
She smiled at them, even when Esa started screeching loudly, babbling happily as he smacked the ball against her leg and Niklas started chewing on her dress.
“If they are bothering you... please say something.” Bam said as he hurried over to her.
“No... it's alright.” Mrs. Rintala said as she smiled at the two babies. “This is how children should act.” She looked to Ville again and indicated for him to sit down next to her, by merely touching the empty cushion.
Ville sat down, smiling when Niklas smiled at him, and immediately tried crawling into his lap. He pulled the little boy close, kissing his cheek as he looked to Mrs. Rintala.
“I brought with me... a present for you and Katri. I already gave Jesse his. It... is a little personal, so if you want me to give it to you later, I understand.”
Ville frowned just a little before turning to look at Bam. “No...” He said softly, placing his hand in Bam's, rubbing his thumb against the back of his partners hand. “I think I've kept Bam in the dark long enough.”
Bam's bottom lip trembled as he quickly brushed his tears away. “That means a lot to me love.” He said softly, before pulling Ville in for a hug.
“I know it does love.”
She turned her eyes to Katri who had just come into the room with Ryan close behind her. “What about you Katri?”
Katri turned a timid gaze to Ryan, reaching out slowly with her hand. “You are welcome to see whatever it is... if you want too.”
Ryan took her hand and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. “Of course I want to know everything I can about you."
Katri nodded, holding on to the back of his shirt tightly.
****
Sitting around the kitchen table, it went Mrs Rintala, Ville, Bam, April, Ryan and Katri. Jesse was close by, leaning into the embrace of Mali, who was sitting on the counter.
Mrs. Rintala pulled out two leather bound books, passing a dark brown one to Ville, and a dusty tan colored one to Katri. Both of the twins looked down at the books in their hands, as they waited to hear what they were. “These are photo's of you three... I... I've kept them for years... adding to them whenever I could.”
Katri's bottom lip trembled, closing her eyes as she pulled her book close, holding it against her chest. Ville continued to stare at it, as if expecting different news.
“I wouldn't mind it if you... or anyone else here wanted to ask me any questions. I know that even between us...” She looked to the Valo's in the room as she continued. “There has been a lot left unsaid.”
Bam looked between everyone else at the table, his gaze lingering on Ville who finally looked to him. “Is it alright...?” Ville nodded, closing his eyes as he opened his book to the first page. Looking to Mrs. Rintala he asked, “How long have you.... known the Valo's?” He asked carefully.
She smiled warmly at him and seemed to even relax a little. “Anita first brought Ville and Katri to my home when they were about the same age as Niklas and Esa. Kari was... sick... and she couldn't keep up with the demands of her.... husband and children.” She looked down for a moment before adding, “My husband had a good job, that allowed me to stay home a lot and work from there. I have always loved children, so I didn't mind looking after them.
Bam looked at the page Ville was looking at, when the singer laid it on the table. He immediately felt a cold, creepy, feeling sink into him, that made him want to run to April and hug her. The children in the pictures were indeed no older than Niklas and Esa, but even in the black and white grain of the image you could see a sense of unrest and fear in their eyes.
Silently, Ville passed the book over to the other side of the table, resting his hands in his lap. Bam placed his hand on his lovers shoulder, letting it slide to his back, unsure of what to say. The image of Ville and Katri had shocked him in a way he hadn't expected... they had looked so frail and exposed like that.
April has actually gasped as she reached out for Phil, who had joined her at the table. Ryan had wrapped his arms around Katri, who was still holding her book close. Reaching out slowly, April turned the page to continue looking at the pictures. Tears started to build in her eyes as she looked to the bottom of the page and at a picture of Ville.
Sitting on the floor in what appeared to be a space between a couch and a stand; he was pressed against the wall, his eyes closed tightly, his thumb lodged in his mouth. He couldn't have been more then two or three years old. April swore she could see the tears on his cheeks, but that was not what made her want to cry. It was the mark on his cheek that made her feel like throwing up. “What.... what happened?” She gasped as she looked to Mrs. Rintala.
Mrs. Rintala opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by Katri. They all looked to the younger woman, who was peeking at the picture. “I already told you...” Katri whispered, closing her eyes once more. “Papa didn't like thumb suckers.”
They all looked away from her when there was a noise like a chair being pushed away from the table. Looking much paler than usual, Ville stood up and hurried from the room. Without thinking much about it, Bam got up and followed him.
He was able to stop Ville at the top of the stairs, trying not to cry any harder than he was already.
“I know I said I didn't want to hide this from you anymore Bam..” Ville cried, the tears coming harder and harder. “But I can't do this love.... I can't do this...” He hands where on either side of his head, pulling on his hair as he paced back and forth.
“Willa...” Bam croaked, trying to stop Ville. When he did, he pulled Ville close, holding on to him securely.
“I don't want to think about this... it hurts so much already....” Ville whispered as he pressed his face against Bam's neck.
“It's alright Ville... we don't have to talk about it any more tonight...” Bam whispered, pulling away just enough to wipe away Ville's tears. “Let's just go to bed alright?”
Ville nodded as wiped Bam's tears away. “Please... I just want to go to bed and stop thinking about this.”
“Alright....lets go to bed...” Bam said, walking with Ville to their bedroom to try and comfort the man he loved.
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/6942.html
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/7203.html
http://vammyluv.livejournal.com/7425.html
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3794391.html?view=53653719#t53653719
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3795659.html?view=53710795#t53710795
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R for content
Pairing: Vam all the way!
Summary: When Bam and Ville finally are given a chance to be together, will they be able to make the life they always wanted?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: Angsty in the beginning, but it will get better! I swear!
Authors Notes: I'm still pulling this story together, so hopefully it will work well with me posting it before its done. I've only rewritten this story like... eight times...
Additional Warnings: Having tissues handy is advisable....
kallisarvoinen=Precious
äiti=Mother
April came through the door and immediately frowned as she looked at the twins who were playing on the floor.
“Now before you say anything.” Ryan said as he stood up. “I’ve seen Bam Margera do some pretty gay things in his life; but while you were at work, I witnessed what must have been the gayest fight in my whole life between Bam and Ville.”
“It’s true.” Katri put in as she looked up from the twins. “They fought for an hour over whether the twins should wear vests or not… which turned into a debate over ties with vests or ties without vests, or vests with no tie.”
“Awww… but those suits were so cute.” April said with obvious disappointment.
“Well they finally gave up and decided to put the boys in their pajamas instead.” Ryan said.
“I’m sure they are more comfortable this way anyways.” Katri added.
“I suppose so… but I wanted them to look nice for Mrs. Rintala’s visit… especially since they have such nice hair cuts.” April said as she walked over to the boys.
“I don’t think she will mind… she’s not as picky as momma and papa are.” Katri mentioned casually.
April nodded, “Well…I suppose I will go and get changed.”
“Seriously April…” Katri said as she stood up, “Don’t worry so much… Mrs. Rintala is a really relaxed person. She won’t mind if a hair or two is out of place.”
April smiled, “Thank you.”
“I’m going to go see if Phil needs any help getting dinner ready.” Ryan said, kissing Katri before heading into the kitchen.
For the fourth time since Ville and Bam had left to go to the airport, she noticed Niklas watching the door. She walked over to where he was sitting, half way between his brother and the front door. “It’s alright Niklas… daddy and papa will be home soon.” She said softly as she crouched down next to him. He immediately pulled himself up, indicating to the door, babbling softly as he looked to Katri, his eyes round and sad.
She was able to distract him for a little bit, but his attention seem to continue to wonder away from her. By the time April had washed up and changed, another car pulled into the driveway, honking its horn.
Niklas’ attention was immediately drawn to the door and then to Katri, who smiled at him. “That must be papa! Papa and daddy are home and they brought some guests with them!” She said happily.
She moved to a standing position, walking slowly behind him as he crawled, scooping him up and propping him on her hip before he got to close to the door. She whispered to him about his papa, which made Niklas smile and babble happily.
The door opened and in came a member of their family, but not the one they thought it would be. Jess smiled at his nephew and got a “Hi Niklas” out before the little boy reacted.
The smile fell from Niklas’ face as he shouted, “NO!” indicating to Jess as he do so. It caused even Katri to take a double take since it was so unexpected. Niklas immediately start fussing and squirming around in her arms as he looked for Ville. Jess’ wife and children came in, closing the door behind them. That was when the real tears came.
Niklas opened his mouth and screamed, tears running down his cheeks as he waved his arms about, wanting to be put down.
Not sure what to do, Katri put him down. He immediately crawled to the door, pulled himself up and smacked it before trying to reach for the doorknob. She tried to move him away from the door, but he went limp in her arms until she put him down again, crawling right back to the door.
“What’s going on?” April asked as she hurried into the living room, followed by Ryan and Phil.
“I’m sorry mom, but I got Niklas all upset some how.” Jess said, visibly saddened because of the way his nephew had reacted to him.
“It’s not your fault Jess…” Katri called over Niklas’ crying, carrying over to his brother. “He was expecting someone else.”
“Who?” Jess’ wife asked as she looked to April.
“I’m guessing papa.” Ryan said, which April agreed too.
“You poor thing.” April said softly as she walked over to the little boy. He was sitting on the floor, his hands near his face as he continued to cry. She attempted to pick him up, but he smacked her away and practically threw himself on the floor.
Esa’s watched Niklas for a moment or two before he spit out his pacifier and started crying too. He seemed to vocalize what Niklas couldn’t as he babbled, “dada…papa….”
While his tears eventually slowed down, the next hour was spent trying to keep him away from the door. While they didn’t want him to get hit by the door when it opened, it made him even more upset. After a while, he just sat on the floor as close as he could get to the door, his bottom lip stuck out as he gazed longingly at the door.
About fifteen or twenty minutes later, the door opened as Bam came in, “It’s cold as heck out there.” He commented, brushing the snow off his jacket. Both the twins looked to him, Esa with a bright smile on his face while Niklas’ eyes were wide with hope, as they crawled towards him.
Bam was followed by Mrs. Rintala, Jesse Valo, Mali, and finally Ville.
As carefully as he could, Bam stepped over Esa so he could put the luggage down by the stairs. Esa, who believed most things in life was a game, merely flipped to the opposite side and crawled after him, laughing happily.
Jesse put his and Mali’s luggage down and turned to help her with her jacket. She smiled brightly as she indicated to the twins that were crawling around.
Niklas started working himself up for a whole new fit when he saw Ville, the jerky kind of cry that babies get when they can’t be picked up as quickly as they want to be.
It broke his heart, as Ville tried to maneuver around the baby that started crying harder the longer he delayed picking him up. “Just one second Niklas… papa has to put this stuff down.” Ville said as he looked for a spot to put Mrs. Rintala’s stuff down.
Undaunted, Niklas followed Ville; sitting by him as he reached out for him, flapping his fingers back and forth in the same way he might wave at someone.
Ville put the bags down and tore his jacket, hat, and scarf off; before scooping his son up. He held his son's warm, trembling, body against his chest, resting his cheek against his son’s head as he rubbed his back. Closing his eyes, he softly whispered to Niklas in Finnish, who was already much calmer.
Resting his head on his papa’s shoulder, Niklas was soon sucking on his thumb, his arm around Ville’s neck, so his other hand could hold on to his hair.
“See… I’m not the only one who loves you and your gorgeous hair.” Bam said softly, leaning in to kiss Ville gently before kissing the back of Niklas’ head. He had Esa in his arms, so Ville took the chance to kiss Esa on the cheek, making him giggle happily.
“Äiti* Alli…” Katri said softly as she walked over to Mrs. Rintala and hugged her gently.
“Kallisarvoinen*…” Mrs. Rintala whispered back, wrapping one arm around Katri, placing her other hand on the young woman’s head. She hugged Katri, before kissing her head, just to hug her again. She pulled back enough to look her over, smiling lovingly at Katri who had started to cry. She reached out and gently brushed away her tears before touching her cheek. “You look lovely.”
Katri quickly brushed her tears away, her cheeks flushed as she looked to Ryan. She grabbed his hand and pulled him over, “This is Ryan.”
Mrs. Rintala smiled at Ryan, pulling him for a hug like she had known him his whole life. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She whispered in Finnish since she knew he was familiar with the language.
“You too.” Ryan whispered back.
“Jesse…” Katri said as she hugged her little brother tightly, rubbing the back of his shaved head. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Jesse answered, “You remember Mali right?”
Katri smiled at the other woman and hugged her, “Of course I do. How is Keit?” She switched to Thai to address Mali.
Bam watched as Jesse hugged Ville, looking at Niklas who wanted nothing to do with his uncle, which didn’t bother the Thai boxer at all. Jesse, Bam observed, looked remarkably like his brother in real life. He wasn’t as tall as Ville, despite being taller than Katri; creating a sort of staircase affect between the three of them.
He had the same dark hair as his older siblings, though his eyes were a warm friendly brown color. To say that he was happy or even light hearted didn’t seem to be enough to express the aura around Jesse Valo. He seemed… at peace with himself, comfortable in even this new situation. There was a quiet confidence in the way he moved and spoke, like the wise old monks you see in martial arts movies.
Like his brother and sister, Jesse had aged in a way that went past his actual year, and yet the cause of that didn’t seem to weigh him down as it did Katri and Ville.
Mali, who was standing close to him, was a delicate wisp of a woman. She was significantly shorter than Jesse, who like to playfully tease her about it by resting his chin on her head. She would laugh and push him away, poking him repeatedly in the sides, which made him laugh until his cheeks turned red. He would pull her in for a hug, lifting her off the floor for a moment before kissing her on the cheek.
After everyone else had been introduced, Ville got Mrs. Rintala’s, Jesse’s, and Mali’s attention. “And lastly, but certainly not least… are the birthday boys.”
“In the orange, with dark blue trim, footsie pajama’s with Sponge Bob Square Pants chasing a jelly fish is… Niklas.” Bam said, indicating to the baby Ville was still holding. “And in the light blue, jungle themed, footsie pajamas is Esa.”
Esa laughed happily, bouncing on Bam’s arm as he chanted his favorite word, “dad-dad-dad-dad.”
Mrs. Rintala chuckled, touching each boy gently on the cheek. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
“They are certainly beautiful children.” Jesse commented on, which Mali agreed on.
“Please…come and sit down…” April said as she indicated the couch.
****
Mrs. Rintala looked to her left when she felt something pull on her skirt. She smiled at Esa as he handed her a lime green ball, with bumps all over it. “Why thank you Esa.” She said softly, reaching out to touch him gently on the cheek.
Esa smiled around his binky, babbling happily as he tapped his hand against the ball, before taking it back from her; switching the green ball with a hard plastic, robins egg blue ball.
“This is a nice ball too.” She said to him softly, smiling as he hit the green ball against the blue one.
Crying happily, Esa bounced as he leaned against her leg. Turning his attention to the ball in his hand, he smacked it a few times against his palm before spitting out his pacifier to chew on it.
Resting her hand on his head, she turned and looked to her other side as Niklas pulled himself up. He looked over his shoulder before looking at her. His mouth barely moved as he made soft noises, slowly handing her a stuffed cloth block.
“More presents? You are both such nice boys.”
Slowly Niklas moved closer to her, looking at Ville (who was standing a few feet away from them) now and then as he played with her skirt.
She smiled at them, even when Esa started screeching loudly, babbling happily as he smacked the ball against her leg and Niklas started chewing on her dress.
“If they are bothering you... please say something.” Bam said as he hurried over to her.
“No... it's alright.” Mrs. Rintala said as she smiled at the two babies. “This is how children should act.” She looked to Ville again and indicated for him to sit down next to her, by merely touching the empty cushion.
Ville sat down, smiling when Niklas smiled at him, and immediately tried crawling into his lap. He pulled the little boy close, kissing his cheek as he looked to Mrs. Rintala.
“I brought with me... a present for you and Katri. I already gave Jesse his. It... is a little personal, so if you want me to give it to you later, I understand.”
Ville frowned just a little before turning to look at Bam. “No...” He said softly, placing his hand in Bam's, rubbing his thumb against the back of his partners hand. “I think I've kept Bam in the dark long enough.”
Bam's bottom lip trembled as he quickly brushed his tears away. “That means a lot to me love.” He said softly, before pulling Ville in for a hug.
“I know it does love.”
She turned her eyes to Katri who had just come into the room with Ryan close behind her. “What about you Katri?”
Katri turned a timid gaze to Ryan, reaching out slowly with her hand. “You are welcome to see whatever it is... if you want too.”
Ryan took her hand and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. “Of course I want to know everything I can about you."
Katri nodded, holding on to the back of his shirt tightly.
****
Sitting around the kitchen table, it went Mrs Rintala, Ville, Bam, April, Ryan and Katri. Jesse was close by, leaning into the embrace of Mali, who was sitting on the counter.
Mrs. Rintala pulled out two leather bound books, passing a dark brown one to Ville, and a dusty tan colored one to Katri. Both of the twins looked down at the books in their hands, as they waited to hear what they were. “These are photo's of you three... I... I've kept them for years... adding to them whenever I could.”
Katri's bottom lip trembled, closing her eyes as she pulled her book close, holding it against her chest. Ville continued to stare at it, as if expecting different news.
“I wouldn't mind it if you... or anyone else here wanted to ask me any questions. I know that even between us...” She looked to the Valo's in the room as she continued. “There has been a lot left unsaid.”
Bam looked between everyone else at the table, his gaze lingering on Ville who finally looked to him. “Is it alright...?” Ville nodded, closing his eyes as he opened his book to the first page. Looking to Mrs. Rintala he asked, “How long have you.... known the Valo's?” He asked carefully.
She smiled warmly at him and seemed to even relax a little. “Anita first brought Ville and Katri to my home when they were about the same age as Niklas and Esa. Kari was... sick... and she couldn't keep up with the demands of her.... husband and children.” She looked down for a moment before adding, “My husband had a good job, that allowed me to stay home a lot and work from there. I have always loved children, so I didn't mind looking after them.
Bam looked at the page Ville was looking at, when the singer laid it on the table. He immediately felt a cold, creepy, feeling sink into him, that made him want to run to April and hug her. The children in the pictures were indeed no older than Niklas and Esa, but even in the black and white grain of the image you could see a sense of unrest and fear in their eyes.
Silently, Ville passed the book over to the other side of the table, resting his hands in his lap. Bam placed his hand on his lovers shoulder, letting it slide to his back, unsure of what to say. The image of Ville and Katri had shocked him in a way he hadn't expected... they had looked so frail and exposed like that.
April has actually gasped as she reached out for Phil, who had joined her at the table. Ryan had wrapped his arms around Katri, who was still holding her book close. Reaching out slowly, April turned the page to continue looking at the pictures. Tears started to build in her eyes as she looked to the bottom of the page and at a picture of Ville.
Sitting on the floor in what appeared to be a space between a couch and a stand; he was pressed against the wall, his eyes closed tightly, his thumb lodged in his mouth. He couldn't have been more then two or three years old. April swore she could see the tears on his cheeks, but that was not what made her want to cry. It was the mark on his cheek that made her feel like throwing up. “What.... what happened?” She gasped as she looked to Mrs. Rintala.
Mrs. Rintala opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by Katri. They all looked to the younger woman, who was peeking at the picture. “I already told you...” Katri whispered, closing her eyes once more. “Papa didn't like thumb suckers.”
They all looked away from her when there was a noise like a chair being pushed away from the table. Looking much paler than usual, Ville stood up and hurried from the room. Without thinking much about it, Bam got up and followed him.
He was able to stop Ville at the top of the stairs, trying not to cry any harder than he was already.
“I know I said I didn't want to hide this from you anymore Bam..” Ville cried, the tears coming harder and harder. “But I can't do this love.... I can't do this...” He hands where on either side of his head, pulling on his hair as he paced back and forth.
“Willa...” Bam croaked, trying to stop Ville. When he did, he pulled Ville close, holding on to him securely.
“I don't want to think about this... it hurts so much already....” Ville whispered as he pressed his face against Bam's neck.
“It's alright Ville... we don't have to talk about it any more tonight...” Bam whispered, pulling away just enough to wipe away Ville's tears. “Let's just go to bed alright?”
Ville nodded as wiped Bam's tears away. “Please... I just want to go to bed and stop thinking about this.”
“Alright....lets go to bed...” Bam said, walking with Ville to their bedroom to try and comfort the man he loved.
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