Bammie in Vonderland
Title: Bammie In Vonderland
Authors: Me, and Lynnsey.
Pairing: a shitload of people.
rating: PG-13
disclaimer: don't own, don't sue, all that jazz.
Summary: The twisted tale of Alice In Wonderland.
Previous Chapters:
Ch.1 Cherry Ripe
***Chapter 2***
Bammie Smoked Some!
"Ouch! What the...?" I yelled surprised by the pain in the back of my head. "What...?" I muttered, as I noticed that I had hit my head on a rock.
"Get off of me, you're crushing my petals!" shouted a very chic voice.
"Who are you to sabotage my dear friend here?" asked a brave manly voice.
I looked up to see an incredible site, a flower of such extrordinary beautiful features, his mane canary yellow, was glowing with such radiance; his bodice so shaped that I feared for my life, I did the only thing I could do. Beg.
"I beg for forgiveness, your highness, please do not kill me!" I said, almost slave-like.
"Oh my, daughter who are you to praise me? As if I were the Queen of Hearts." the majestic flower said politely.
"I see no Queen parts, you are such a fool." A dandelion said with attitude.
"Well at least I have a real mane!" Argued the sunflower.
"I'm sorry, but are you all really talking flowers? Why haven't I seen flowers like you before?" I questioned, damn I hope I'm not going crazy, wait... What the fuck? Why in the first place are they larger than me?
"Of course we are real! You talk as if you've been living in a rock!" the dandilion said getting cut off by another flowers correction.
"You mean 'Under a rock', you prick, you're not even a real flower." said the rosette, ending his sentence with the other flowers in shock of such a comment.
"Oh do stop, please. Hello! Please, I don't want you to fight..." I said, worried over all the arguing they were doing, mainly for myself.
"It's fine. It happens all the time, the two just don't stop arguing." Said another flower. I looked over and gazed into the single beetle-black eye of the rose.
"Holy shit!" I jumped back away from the towering rose looming over me.
"What? Are you jealous of my beauty?" the rose questioned me, that creepy eye staring intently at me.
"N-no..." I stuttered, shifting my gaze back over to the two bickering flowers.
"Well at least I'm not obsessed with that deranged rabbit!" The dandilion snapped at the other flower.
"I am not!" He yelled in defense, crossin his leaves in defiance.
Giggleing silently, I would've never thought a delicate (or not so delicate in my case) flower to fall for a rabbit. Of course these flowers talk, so obviously now anything can be real. But it's stillweird... usually rabbits will eat the flowers... Thinking this over I noticed just how tall the tree looked from here.
"Oh Fuck! Why is that tree so large?!" I exclaimed puzzled.
"It's always about the hieght... what are you talking about? Maybe you shoul rest a while. You must have a fever or something little one." Raced the rose, drawing back his leaflet from my forhead. Sighing, I placed my hands on my hips ignoring what the rose was going on and on about. And why in the world does he only have one eye? This rose as far as im concerned is fucked up...
"What?! No... Excuse me but I don't have a fever at all." I told the ranting rose after a while.
"Oh but you do! Just look at you! You're not a very pretty flower are you?" The rose said rather distastefully grabbing at my locks.
"Ow! Let go!" I yelled wincing at the sharp pain.
"Why my dear, if I might ask, what species exactly are you?" asked the rose with a prissy air.
"She looks quite like a Bluebell to me," Interrupted the dandilion.
"No, more of, of a poppy, look at her petals." said the pansy.
"I see, I see. But if she has gelb petals then what is the Bleu striped with ivory decoration?" said the sunflower. "If that is your stem, you mothers effort to hide your plumpness didn't work." Continued the sunflower, reffering to my dress as if my mom painted it on my to hide my shape, by the way I was finding this flower very rude.
"So thats what I look like to you all, some fat little bitch, running around in painted clothes!" I hissed at the foursome.
"I knew it!" said the dandilion before pausing, "You're a weed!"
The flowers made an awe of shock, then looked at me like some vegetarian made out of afids. Every flower in this pretty little bundle was going down! God if I only knew some cool fighting moves! Wait... I can just try and beat the shit out of them.
"No! Oh my god! You're all a bunch of shit heads! I'm not a plant!!!" I shouted at the bunch of big-headed idiots (yes just now) listening to me. "I can't beleive you fools! I'm human! And by the way sunshine, this is my hair not my 'petals'. And this," I said pointing to my dress, "is my dress, not paint, and definantly not a fucking stem!" I continued to shout.
As I ended theses words I looked around and saw them staring at me, not deranged, pissed off, or mad faces, but sad, scared, coward faces of flowers, especially the pansy, almost making me feel bad for yelling at them...
The rose in it's crimson and dark green suit came forward. "My dear child, I have made a most faulty mistake," admitted the rose, before bending down to kiss my warm forehead. "Will you forgive me sweet doll?" eww... the one eye'd creep kissed me...
"Of course, but can I ask you flowers a question... please?" I asked with my girly voice, becuase they obviously didn't notice I was male.
"Sure, sure. I'd love to." agreed the sunflower.
"What gender are you flowers exactly? Tell me if you know." I asked them, randomly.
"Um, well..." started the sunflower.
"Whats this gender thingy?" asked the pansy befuddled.
"Yes, what is this gender word?" asked the rose, I think the rose is my favourite, because he doesn't know that he's obviously gay, I thought to myself mentally giggling.
"If you don't know what it is, it means type, boy or girl, Are you male or female? Now do you understand?" I tried my best explaining, speaking as fast as I could because I didn't want to laugh out loud like some little girl.
"Ok, so you're asking us if we're a boy or girl flower? Is that it?" asked the dandilion. I answered with a nod, then took my eyes quickly to the sunflower because I didn't want to miss any part of the flowers searching themselves, and this flower looked like a chick, so it was intresting.
The sunflower checked behind it's leaflets first, beding them this way and that. Then it turned at, atleast 360degrees around... wait where am I getting to? Oh yeah, little did each flower know, on every flowers head lays the heys to pollination, thats where the sexual reproductive system is (supposedly). These things are the piston(male) and the one I fell asleep in my science lesson, and never learned about (female). Back to whats going on...
"Well, if I were a girl i'd have pink and purple and baby colours on me! Right...?" the dandilion questioned confused.
"I think you all just queer guys who don't know it." I said.
"Little chica, what are you, may I ask?" asked the one-eyed rose, staring at me with extreme weird intentions.
"A Boy, thank you very much!" I proudly and gladly stated.
"Well, if you are a boy then I know we're all girls then." said the sunflower.
"No, no, no, I've always known my gender, and I know It's not a chick." Cried the dandilion.
"I think your all dudes." I shouted, making every flower look in my direction.
"Oh and I want to ask the rose, what gender it likes, or is attracted to?" I asked.
"Well, I geuss I would like boys.. I think that is if I'm a girl.." the rose responded, "why?"
"Only because I seen you looking at me funny, and I wanted to see if you knew how queer you really are." I plainly stated.
"Oh my god, you're gay too! Why am I surrounded my queers and a human boy who dressed up like a girl?!" added the dandilion.
"Hey thats not fair! My Mother did this to me, I had no fucking choice!" I exclaimed throwing my arms up.
"I don't think you're even a male hun. You look more girlier than sunshine over there!" the pansy said.
"Dude, I can prove it," I said just before flashing them all the object hidden. Underneath the silky little white polka-dotted panties I liked to wear most.
"Oh my..." I heard each flower say.
"My dear, may I touch this area, my eyes, cannot see the truth al to well." asked the rose.
"Dude you only have one eye! and hell no you can't!" I said.
I went to pull the panties back over my member, when I noticed something. What the hell?! Holy shit, those aren't my beautiful parts I see!
"What the fuck did you idiots do to me?!" I shouted furiously, "God why?!!!"
"No........"
"Jesus christ it's alright, at least you can enter that contest the Queen is having." Said the pansy.
"Contest?" I said now pulling up my leggings, with tears about reay to fall from my lost member. Oh god... wide-eyed I felt my chest, "fuck! What the hell happened to me?! Why is my dick gone?! Why do I have breasts?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed out loud dropping to my knees in despair.
~~~
well theres chapter 2 for you. All credit goes ot lynnsey since she pretty much wrote this whole chapter and I only wrote what maybe a couple paragraphs and thats it... eh...
Comment please I do like to hear what you guys have to say, and constructive critism helps. =]
Authors: Me, and Lynnsey.
Pairing: a shitload of people.
rating: PG-13
disclaimer: don't own, don't sue, all that jazz.
Summary: The twisted tale of Alice In Wonderland.
Previous Chapters:
Ch.1 Cherry Ripe
***Chapter 2***
Bammie Smoked Some!
"Ouch! What the...?" I yelled surprised by the pain in the back of my head. "What...?" I muttered, as I noticed that I had hit my head on a rock.
"Get off of me, you're crushing my petals!" shouted a very chic voice.
"Who are you to sabotage my dear friend here?" asked a brave manly voice.
I looked up to see an incredible site, a flower of such extrordinary beautiful features, his mane canary yellow, was glowing with such radiance; his bodice so shaped that I feared for my life, I did the only thing I could do. Beg.
"I beg for forgiveness, your highness, please do not kill me!" I said, almost slave-like.
"Oh my, daughter who are you to praise me? As if I were the Queen of Hearts." the majestic flower said politely.
"I see no Queen parts, you are such a fool." A dandelion said with attitude.
"Well at least I have a real mane!" Argued the sunflower.
"I'm sorry, but are you all really talking flowers? Why haven't I seen flowers like you before?" I questioned, damn I hope I'm not going crazy, wait... What the fuck? Why in the first place are they larger than me?
"Of course we are real! You talk as if you've been living in a rock!" the dandilion said getting cut off by another flowers correction.
"You mean 'Under a rock', you prick, you're not even a real flower." said the rosette, ending his sentence with the other flowers in shock of such a comment.
"Oh do stop, please. Hello! Please, I don't want you to fight..." I said, worried over all the arguing they were doing, mainly for myself.
"It's fine. It happens all the time, the two just don't stop arguing." Said another flower. I looked over and gazed into the single beetle-black eye of the rose.
"Holy shit!" I jumped back away from the towering rose looming over me.
"What? Are you jealous of my beauty?" the rose questioned me, that creepy eye staring intently at me.
"N-no..." I stuttered, shifting my gaze back over to the two bickering flowers.
"Well at least I'm not obsessed with that deranged rabbit!" The dandilion snapped at the other flower.
"I am not!" He yelled in defense, crossin his leaves in defiance.
Giggleing silently, I would've never thought a delicate (or not so delicate in my case) flower to fall for a rabbit. Of course these flowers talk, so obviously now anything can be real. But it's stillweird... usually rabbits will eat the flowers... Thinking this over I noticed just how tall the tree looked from here.
"Oh Fuck! Why is that tree so large?!" I exclaimed puzzled.
"It's always about the hieght... what are you talking about? Maybe you shoul rest a while. You must have a fever or something little one." Raced the rose, drawing back his leaflet from my forhead. Sighing, I placed my hands on my hips ignoring what the rose was going on and on about. And why in the world does he only have one eye? This rose as far as im concerned is fucked up...
"What?! No... Excuse me but I don't have a fever at all." I told the ranting rose after a while.
"Oh but you do! Just look at you! You're not a very pretty flower are you?" The rose said rather distastefully grabbing at my locks.
"Ow! Let go!" I yelled wincing at the sharp pain.
"Why my dear, if I might ask, what species exactly are you?" asked the rose with a prissy air.
"She looks quite like a Bluebell to me," Interrupted the dandilion.
"No, more of, of a poppy, look at her petals." said the pansy.
"I see, I see. But if she has gelb petals then what is the Bleu striped with ivory decoration?" said the sunflower. "If that is your stem, you mothers effort to hide your plumpness didn't work." Continued the sunflower, reffering to my dress as if my mom painted it on my to hide my shape, by the way I was finding this flower very rude.
"So thats what I look like to you all, some fat little bitch, running around in painted clothes!" I hissed at the foursome.
"I knew it!" said the dandilion before pausing, "You're a weed!"
The flowers made an awe of shock, then looked at me like some vegetarian made out of afids. Every flower in this pretty little bundle was going down! God if I only knew some cool fighting moves! Wait... I can just try and beat the shit out of them.
"No! Oh my god! You're all a bunch of shit heads! I'm not a plant!!!" I shouted at the bunch of big-headed idiots (yes just now) listening to me. "I can't beleive you fools! I'm human! And by the way sunshine, this is my hair not my 'petals'. And this," I said pointing to my dress, "is my dress, not paint, and definantly not a fucking stem!" I continued to shout.
As I ended theses words I looked around and saw them staring at me, not deranged, pissed off, or mad faces, but sad, scared, coward faces of flowers, especially the pansy, almost making me feel bad for yelling at them...
The rose in it's crimson and dark green suit came forward. "My dear child, I have made a most faulty mistake," admitted the rose, before bending down to kiss my warm forehead. "Will you forgive me sweet doll?" eww... the one eye'd creep kissed me...
"Of course, but can I ask you flowers a question... please?" I asked with my girly voice, becuase they obviously didn't notice I was male.
"Sure, sure. I'd love to." agreed the sunflower.
"What gender are you flowers exactly? Tell me if you know." I asked them, randomly.
"Um, well..." started the sunflower.
"Whats this gender thingy?" asked the pansy befuddled.
"Yes, what is this gender word?" asked the rose, I think the rose is my favourite, because he doesn't know that he's obviously gay, I thought to myself mentally giggling.
"If you don't know what it is, it means type, boy or girl, Are you male or female? Now do you understand?" I tried my best explaining, speaking as fast as I could because I didn't want to laugh out loud like some little girl.
"Ok, so you're asking us if we're a boy or girl flower? Is that it?" asked the dandilion. I answered with a nod, then took my eyes quickly to the sunflower because I didn't want to miss any part of the flowers searching themselves, and this flower looked like a chick, so it was intresting.
The sunflower checked behind it's leaflets first, beding them this way and that. Then it turned at, atleast 360degrees around... wait where am I getting to? Oh yeah, little did each flower know, on every flowers head lays the heys to pollination, thats where the sexual reproductive system is (supposedly). These things are the piston(male) and the one I fell asleep in my science lesson, and never learned about (female). Back to whats going on...
"Well, if I were a girl i'd have pink and purple and baby colours on me! Right...?" the dandilion questioned confused.
"I think you all just queer guys who don't know it." I said.
"Little chica, what are you, may I ask?" asked the one-eyed rose, staring at me with extreme weird intentions.
"A Boy, thank you very much!" I proudly and gladly stated.
"Well, if you are a boy then I know we're all girls then." said the sunflower.
"No, no, no, I've always known my gender, and I know It's not a chick." Cried the dandilion.
"I think your all dudes." I shouted, making every flower look in my direction.
"Oh and I want to ask the rose, what gender it likes, or is attracted to?" I asked.
"Well, I geuss I would like boys.. I think that is if I'm a girl.." the rose responded, "why?"
"Only because I seen you looking at me funny, and I wanted to see if you knew how queer you really are." I plainly stated.
"Oh my god, you're gay too! Why am I surrounded my queers and a human boy who dressed up like a girl?!" added the dandilion.
"Hey thats not fair! My Mother did this to me, I had no fucking choice!" I exclaimed throwing my arms up.
"I don't think you're even a male hun. You look more girlier than sunshine over there!" the pansy said.
"Dude, I can prove it," I said just before flashing them all the object hidden. Underneath the silky little white polka-dotted panties I liked to wear most.
"Oh my..." I heard each flower say.
"My dear, may I touch this area, my eyes, cannot see the truth al to well." asked the rose.
"Dude you only have one eye! and hell no you can't!" I said.
I went to pull the panties back over my member, when I noticed something. What the hell?! Holy shit, those aren't my beautiful parts I see!
"What the fuck did you idiots do to me?!" I shouted furiously, "God why?!!!"
"No........"
"Jesus christ it's alright, at least you can enter that contest the Queen is having." Said the pansy.
"Contest?" I said now pulling up my leggings, with tears about reay to fall from my lost member. Oh god... wide-eyed I felt my chest, "fuck! What the hell happened to me?! Why is my dick gone?! Why do I have breasts?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed out loud dropping to my knees in despair.
~~~
well theres chapter 2 for you. All credit goes ot lynnsey since she pretty much wrote this whole chapter and I only wrote what maybe a couple paragraphs and thats it... eh...
Comment please I do like to hear what you guys have to say, and constructive critism helps. =]