Frozen To Lose It All- Chapter 46
FYI: Becca a.k.a xxplaydead616xx had to have her profile deleted for a number of reasons so I'll be posting her story "Frozen To Lose It All" on my profile instead. I'm the one who's been posting her story anyway, it's just gonna be on my profile and not her's anymore, until she gets shit worked out...So just to keep you guys informed. <3 ~Lara
The tour had been going on what seemed like forever and it was starting to take its toll on Ville. He wasn’t eating, and barely getting three hours of sleep. He loved touring, but it affected him in bad ways.
“Hey, Ville, your wife’s here!” Gas called from the back of the tour bus. Ville furrowed his brow, putting his book down and looking out of his bunk. Out of nowhere, he was pounced on and pushed back in.
“What the-“
“Hey, baby!” Jonne grinned, sitting on top of Ville’s bony hips. “Miss me?”
“What-what’re you doing here?!” Ville laughed, eyes sparkling. Jonne shrugged.
“I got bored at home, so I decided to come visit you.” He smiled. “Happy?”
“Of course I’m happy!” Ville pulled him down and wrapped his arms around him. “God, you have no idea how much I need you right now.” Jonne furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong?” Ville shook his head.
“Nothing…I’ve just been tired is all…but forget it. You’re here and I wanna play with you.” Jonne raised an eyebrow.
“Play with me?” Ville nodded with an evil grin and slinked his hands up Jonne’s shirt. He scratched along Jonne’s sides, making him throw his head back.
“Oh God…” Jonne grinded into Ville’s groin, causing a moan to escape Ville’s lips.
“Jonne…w-wait a minute…” He looked down, confused.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“I just…wanna talk to you for a minute, okay?” Jonne nodded and looked deep into Ville’s eyes. “God, I…I love you so much. You make me so happy and-and I’m so glad that you’re with me, sweetie.” Jonne glowed as Ville ran a hand through the blonde’s hair. “You’re my best friend, baby. You make me wanna live.”
“Ville, that’s…you make me wanna live, too.”
“I’m always gonna be with you…and I’m always gonna love you.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Mige screamed. Ville remained blank.
“I got horny.”
“Fuck, who are you?! How could you do this to Bam?!” Ville’s eyes got wide as he finally snapped.
“Bam?! BAM?! What about me, huh?! No one seems to give a flying fuck about how I’m dealing with all of this! My daughter got hit by a car and they didn’t catch the guy, I’ve been neglecting my son, my husband’s in the hospital, meanwhile I took a bottle of fuckin’ Prozac and no one seems to realize that I CAN’T DEAL WITH ALL THIS!!!” Tears began to spill rapidly from his green eyes so he pushed past Mige and rushed down the hallway.
“I’ll get him,” Jonne murmured, going for him. He followed Ville down the hall until he stopped at a door. Jonne cocked his head, reading the name on it. “Chapel…why’re you over here?”
“I wanna see if I’ll burn...” Jonne bit his lip. “When did things get so fucked up?”
“I think it was the moment we were born.” Ville nodded.
“You’re right…is it wrong to wish I was never born?” Jonne shook his head.
“No, it’s-it’s normal.” Ville laughed to himself.
“That’s not normal, Jonne. Nothing’s normal. Hell, I don’t wanna be normal half the time.” Jonne paused, but opened the door.
“Then…go in.” Ville walked inside slowly and looked up at the giant crucifix before him.
“Do you think he exists?”
“I think so…”
“Of course you do. He’s on your arm.” Jonne smiled, shaking his head.
“I don’t believe in Him because he’s on my arm…I was raised to.” Ville sighed, sitting down in a pew.
“So, aren’t you afraid you’re going to Hell? I mean, you’re gay, you just cheated…”
“No, I don’t really believe in Hell…I think that if God loves us all, why would he put us through that?”
“I don’t think I believe in God,” Ville said quietly. “I’m not sure yet.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to know.”
“Part of me doesn’t want to cause-cause I know that if He does exists I’ll be in Hell, and…I don’t wanna go to Hell,” he whimpered, crying.
“Oh, honey,” Jonne cooed, taking Ville into his arms.
“I love you so much.” Jonne bit his lip, looking away.
“Ville…don’t…”
“What’s wrong?”
“We can’t keep doing this…”
“Doing what?” Jonne sighed.
“Ville, I love you…but you have a family. You can’t just leave them for an old flame.”
“But, you’re not just a flame. You’re more than that.”
“I was, but not anymore. You’re with Bam.” Ville looked down. “I can’t believe I’m saying this…I-I want you to be with Bam. You guys are perfect. I told that to him before and he listened, so why can’t you?” Ville looked down and nodded slowly.
“Yeah…I-I know.”
“You guys will get back to normal soon. Once everything calms down you’ll be able to spend some time together.”
“But, what if we never get back? What if we always have this dark cloud over us?” Jonne shook his head.
“Be positive.”
“I can’t be. Too many things go on to where I can’t even think of being positive anymore.” Jonne put a hand on Ville’s pale cheek.
“I know it’s hard for you, Ville. It’s not fair that you have to deal with this all at once.” Ville shook his head, getting up from the pew.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s fair and what isn’t, okay? I’ve known from day one of my life that nothing’s ever fair. So, to save time, why don’t you tell me what to do to help it get fair?”
“Pray,” Jonne said quietly. Ville stopped, looking dead straight ahead. Before him was the giant, wooden cross surrounded by dim litted candles. He almost sat down, but snuffed, going for the door.
“Fuck it, let Him send me to Hell.”
The tour had been going on what seemed like forever and it was starting to take its toll on Ville. He wasn’t eating, and barely getting three hours of sleep. He loved touring, but it affected him in bad ways.
“Hey, Ville, your wife’s here!” Gas called from the back of the tour bus. Ville furrowed his brow, putting his book down and looking out of his bunk. Out of nowhere, he was pounced on and pushed back in.
“What the-“
“Hey, baby!” Jonne grinned, sitting on top of Ville’s bony hips. “Miss me?”
“What-what’re you doing here?!” Ville laughed, eyes sparkling. Jonne shrugged.
“I got bored at home, so I decided to come visit you.” He smiled. “Happy?”
“Of course I’m happy!” Ville pulled him down and wrapped his arms around him. “God, you have no idea how much I need you right now.” Jonne furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong?” Ville shook his head.
“Nothing…I’ve just been tired is all…but forget it. You’re here and I wanna play with you.” Jonne raised an eyebrow.
“Play with me?” Ville nodded with an evil grin and slinked his hands up Jonne’s shirt. He scratched along Jonne’s sides, making him throw his head back.
“Oh God…” Jonne grinded into Ville’s groin, causing a moan to escape Ville’s lips.
“Jonne…w-wait a minute…” He looked down, confused.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“I just…wanna talk to you for a minute, okay?” Jonne nodded and looked deep into Ville’s eyes. “God, I…I love you so much. You make me so happy and-and I’m so glad that you’re with me, sweetie.” Jonne glowed as Ville ran a hand through the blonde’s hair. “You’re my best friend, baby. You make me wanna live.”
“Ville, that’s…you make me wanna live, too.”
“I’m always gonna be with you…and I’m always gonna love you.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Mige screamed. Ville remained blank.
“I got horny.”
“Fuck, who are you?! How could you do this to Bam?!” Ville’s eyes got wide as he finally snapped.
“Bam?! BAM?! What about me, huh?! No one seems to give a flying fuck about how I’m dealing with all of this! My daughter got hit by a car and they didn’t catch the guy, I’ve been neglecting my son, my husband’s in the hospital, meanwhile I took a bottle of fuckin’ Prozac and no one seems to realize that I CAN’T DEAL WITH ALL THIS!!!” Tears began to spill rapidly from his green eyes so he pushed past Mige and rushed down the hallway.
“I’ll get him,” Jonne murmured, going for him. He followed Ville down the hall until he stopped at a door. Jonne cocked his head, reading the name on it. “Chapel…why’re you over here?”
“I wanna see if I’ll burn...” Jonne bit his lip. “When did things get so fucked up?”
“I think it was the moment we were born.” Ville nodded.
“You’re right…is it wrong to wish I was never born?” Jonne shook his head.
“No, it’s-it’s normal.” Ville laughed to himself.
“That’s not normal, Jonne. Nothing’s normal. Hell, I don’t wanna be normal half the time.” Jonne paused, but opened the door.
“Then…go in.” Ville walked inside slowly and looked up at the giant crucifix before him.
“Do you think he exists?”
“I think so…”
“Of course you do. He’s on your arm.” Jonne smiled, shaking his head.
“I don’t believe in Him because he’s on my arm…I was raised to.” Ville sighed, sitting down in a pew.
“So, aren’t you afraid you’re going to Hell? I mean, you’re gay, you just cheated…”
“No, I don’t really believe in Hell…I think that if God loves us all, why would he put us through that?”
“I don’t think I believe in God,” Ville said quietly. “I’m not sure yet.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to know.”
“Part of me doesn’t want to cause-cause I know that if He does exists I’ll be in Hell, and…I don’t wanna go to Hell,” he whimpered, crying.
“Oh, honey,” Jonne cooed, taking Ville into his arms.
“I love you so much.” Jonne bit his lip, looking away.
“Ville…don’t…”
“What’s wrong?”
“We can’t keep doing this…”
“Doing what?” Jonne sighed.
“Ville, I love you…but you have a family. You can’t just leave them for an old flame.”
“But, you’re not just a flame. You’re more than that.”
“I was, but not anymore. You’re with Bam.” Ville looked down. “I can’t believe I’m saying this…I-I want you to be with Bam. You guys are perfect. I told that to him before and he listened, so why can’t you?” Ville looked down and nodded slowly.
“Yeah…I-I know.”
“You guys will get back to normal soon. Once everything calms down you’ll be able to spend some time together.”
“But, what if we never get back? What if we always have this dark cloud over us?” Jonne shook his head.
“Be positive.”
“I can’t be. Too many things go on to where I can’t even think of being positive anymore.” Jonne put a hand on Ville’s pale cheek.
“I know it’s hard for you, Ville. It’s not fair that you have to deal with this all at once.” Ville shook his head, getting up from the pew.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s fair and what isn’t, okay? I’ve known from day one of my life that nothing’s ever fair. So, to save time, why don’t you tell me what to do to help it get fair?”
“Pray,” Jonne said quietly. Ville stopped, looking dead straight ahead. Before him was the giant, wooden cross surrounded by dim litted candles. He almost sat down, but snuffed, going for the door.
“Fuck it, let Him send me to Hell.”