Frozen To Lose It All-Chapter 39
Title: Frozen To Lose It All
Pairing: Vam, Ville/Jonne
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: Ville has been with Jonne for two years now and they want to start their life together. But, when Bam gets in the picture will it stay the same or will everything fall apart?
*Note* This will end up being a MPreg in later chapters. Also, Jonne is a few years older in this since I didn't want Ville to be considered a molester.
Disclaimer: If I owned Ville, Bam, or Jonne do you really think I'd be writing??
“You gotta wake up, baby,” Ville whispered, holding Ella’s hand. Dr. Loden informed them that if she didn’t wake up within the next 24 hours there was a good chance she wouldn’t. Because of that, Ville tried everything he could to get her back. “Please, kulta…”
“How’s she doing?” Mige asked, handing Ville a cup of coffee.
“The same…” He nodded, running his fingers through the hair hanging out of Ville’s beanie.
“She’ll wake up. She’s strong like you.”
“I’m not strong,” he whispered. “I’m not…”
“Ville,” Mige said, wrapping his arms around his skinny torso. “From the moment I met you I was in love. You’re my best friend, my idol, I love you more than anything…so believe me when I tell you that you’re the strongest person I know. You’ll make it through this.” Tears started to fall from Ville’s green eyes.
“But I’m scared…”
“I know you are, baby. It’s normal.”
“I don’t wanna lost her…”
“You won’t…you won’t…”
“Vittu, vittu, vittu,” Jonne muttered getting jammed in traffic. “Ugh, c’mon! Move, it’s fucking green!” The minute Mige called him about Ella; Jonne was on a plane to West Chester. He didn’t expect Ville to want him there, but still. It felt like he had to go. His cell phone rang with “Sweet Child O’ Mine” as the ringtone.
“Hei.”
“Where are you?” Mige asked.
“Well, if the fucking cars would move I’d be at the Goddamn hospital!” Jonne groaned, punching the window, setting it off the track. “Ow! Perkele!”
“What happened?”
“I, uh…broke the window.”
“Vil’,” Bam called in the doorway. “Come walk with me for a minute.” He shook his head, holding Ella’s hand. “C’mon babe, just for a minute.” Ville bit his lip.
“Go on,” Mige assured. “I’ll watch her.”
“Okay…” He kissed her knuckles and walked out with Bam.
“How you doing, babe?” Ville shrugged.
“Nervous…” Bam wrapped an arm around Ville’s waist and gently kissed his temple.
“I love you,” Ville nodded.
“I love you, too…I’m just worried.”
“I know, kitty.” He smiled at Bam’s nickname for him. “But worrying’s not gonna do anything…fuck.”
“What?”
“Why’d we have to grow up so fast?” Ville furrowed his brow. “I mean, think about it. When we first met how were we?”
“Young.”
“Exactly. And we acted young. We went to parties and got drunk. We had sex whenever we wanted…then all of it went away, ya know? We have to care about other people and forget about all the fun we used to have. I mean, I love El and Damian more than anything, but…sometimes I wish I could not be young, but act it.”
“Bam…I hate being a parent.” His eyes grew wide.
“What?”
“I hate it. That’s why I don’t want them to call me ‘dad.’ I wanna be their friend, not their father. When I got pregnant with Ella I was terrified. I wasn’t ready and I-I knew I couldn’t take care of her. Even now I hate it. I never wanted kids. But….even though I don’t wanna be called a parent, I still act like one. I can’t live without them. She’s…She’s my daughter, Bam. For the longest time I couldn’t say that.”
“I never knew you felt like that.”
“Yeah,” Ville said, nodding. “I thought admitting it would make me a horrible fuckin’ person…” Bam intertwined his fingers with Ville’s and gently squeezed. “I don’t wanna be thinking that.”
“I know, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Every parent wishes they could have some freedom. I know Ape and Phil did.” Ville laughed quietly.
“That’s because they have you as a child.”
“Like you gave Kari and Anita any less grief?”
“Well, I didn’t ride my bike around the streets at midnight holding a torch.”
“Hey, that was Dico.” Ville smiled a bit, but it quickly faded and he sat down. “You alright?” He sighed.
“No matter how much I complain or how many horror stories I hear from April…I’d gladly have Ella and Damian act exactly the same way as you and Jess…then have her not be around.”
“I’d have that, too.”
“I don’t think I can cry anymore, Bam,” he whispered. Bam pulled Ville into a hug, slowly rubbing his back.
“You don’t have to.”
“Why’re you so good to me?”
“Cause I love you. You’ve changed me.” Ville shook his head.
“No, didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did. I can let my guard down with you. You don’t judge me.”
“You don’t judge the people you love.” Bam put his good hand on Ville’s cheek.
“God…I still can’t believe it…I married my idol.” Ville blushed.
“Bam Bam…”
“I love you so much. I admire you, I adore you, I look up to you…you’re my best friend. I never wanna be without you.” Ville cocked his head.
“Bam, that’s…I love you, sweetie.” Ville nuzzled his nose in Bam’s neck, breathing in his musky scent.
“It hurts so much when I can’t help you…I hate when you’re sad…”
“Baby, you know it’s not your fault…listen to me. No matter how sad I get or what happens I’ll always love you, okay? Nothing could ever make me stop.”
“I just keep thinking about when-when you were…sick.” Ville looked down, biting his lip. “Ville, promise me that if you ever feel that way again you’ll tell me. I’ll help you, you know that.” Ville nodded.
“Ville!” Mige yelled, running into the hallway.
“What’s wrong?”
“Get in here!” They ran into the room to find one of the monitors beeping loudly. “Look at that one. It’s the one that shows brain waves.” Ville took Ella’s hand, whispering gently in her ear.
“C’mon, kulta, I know you can hear me…you gotta wake up.”
“Get up, Ella,” Bam said, touching her forehead. “You have to do this, babe. We all need you here…” Ville leaned into Bam’s stomach, but soon gasped. “What?”
“Oh my God…” Bam furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong?”
“She…She squeezed my hand…”
Pairing: Vam, Ville/Jonne
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: Ville has been with Jonne for two years now and they want to start their life together. But, when Bam gets in the picture will it stay the same or will everything fall apart?
*Note* This will end up being a MPreg in later chapters. Also, Jonne is a few years older in this since I didn't want Ville to be considered a molester.
Disclaimer: If I owned Ville, Bam, or Jonne do you really think I'd be writing??
“You gotta wake up, baby,” Ville whispered, holding Ella’s hand. Dr. Loden informed them that if she didn’t wake up within the next 24 hours there was a good chance she wouldn’t. Because of that, Ville tried everything he could to get her back. “Please, kulta…”
“How’s she doing?” Mige asked, handing Ville a cup of coffee.
“The same…” He nodded, running his fingers through the hair hanging out of Ville’s beanie.
“She’ll wake up. She’s strong like you.”
“I’m not strong,” he whispered. “I’m not…”
“Ville,” Mige said, wrapping his arms around his skinny torso. “From the moment I met you I was in love. You’re my best friend, my idol, I love you more than anything…so believe me when I tell you that you’re the strongest person I know. You’ll make it through this.” Tears started to fall from Ville’s green eyes.
“But I’m scared…”
“I know you are, baby. It’s normal.”
“I don’t wanna lost her…”
“You won’t…you won’t…”
“Vittu, vittu, vittu,” Jonne muttered getting jammed in traffic. “Ugh, c’mon! Move, it’s fucking green!” The minute Mige called him about Ella; Jonne was on a plane to West Chester. He didn’t expect Ville to want him there, but still. It felt like he had to go. His cell phone rang with “Sweet Child O’ Mine” as the ringtone.
“Hei.”
“Where are you?” Mige asked.
“Well, if the fucking cars would move I’d be at the Goddamn hospital!” Jonne groaned, punching the window, setting it off the track. “Ow! Perkele!”
“What happened?”
“I, uh…broke the window.”
“Vil’,” Bam called in the doorway. “Come walk with me for a minute.” He shook his head, holding Ella’s hand. “C’mon babe, just for a minute.” Ville bit his lip.
“Go on,” Mige assured. “I’ll watch her.”
“Okay…” He kissed her knuckles and walked out with Bam.
“How you doing, babe?” Ville shrugged.
“Nervous…” Bam wrapped an arm around Ville’s waist and gently kissed his temple.
“I love you,” Ville nodded.
“I love you, too…I’m just worried.”
“I know, kitty.” He smiled at Bam’s nickname for him. “But worrying’s not gonna do anything…fuck.”
“What?”
“Why’d we have to grow up so fast?” Ville furrowed his brow. “I mean, think about it. When we first met how were we?”
“Young.”
“Exactly. And we acted young. We went to parties and got drunk. We had sex whenever we wanted…then all of it went away, ya know? We have to care about other people and forget about all the fun we used to have. I mean, I love El and Damian more than anything, but…sometimes I wish I could not be young, but act it.”
“Bam…I hate being a parent.” His eyes grew wide.
“What?”
“I hate it. That’s why I don’t want them to call me ‘dad.’ I wanna be their friend, not their father. When I got pregnant with Ella I was terrified. I wasn’t ready and I-I knew I couldn’t take care of her. Even now I hate it. I never wanted kids. But….even though I don’t wanna be called a parent, I still act like one. I can’t live without them. She’s…She’s my daughter, Bam. For the longest time I couldn’t say that.”
“I never knew you felt like that.”
“Yeah,” Ville said, nodding. “I thought admitting it would make me a horrible fuckin’ person…” Bam intertwined his fingers with Ville’s and gently squeezed. “I don’t wanna be thinking that.”
“I know, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Every parent wishes they could have some freedom. I know Ape and Phil did.” Ville laughed quietly.
“That’s because they have you as a child.”
“Like you gave Kari and Anita any less grief?”
“Well, I didn’t ride my bike around the streets at midnight holding a torch.”
“Hey, that was Dico.” Ville smiled a bit, but it quickly faded and he sat down. “You alright?” He sighed.
“No matter how much I complain or how many horror stories I hear from April…I’d gladly have Ella and Damian act exactly the same way as you and Jess…then have her not be around.”
“I’d have that, too.”
“I don’t think I can cry anymore, Bam,” he whispered. Bam pulled Ville into a hug, slowly rubbing his back.
“You don’t have to.”
“Why’re you so good to me?”
“Cause I love you. You’ve changed me.” Ville shook his head.
“No, didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did. I can let my guard down with you. You don’t judge me.”
“You don’t judge the people you love.” Bam put his good hand on Ville’s cheek.
“God…I still can’t believe it…I married my idol.” Ville blushed.
“Bam Bam…”
“I love you so much. I admire you, I adore you, I look up to you…you’re my best friend. I never wanna be without you.” Ville cocked his head.
“Bam, that’s…I love you, sweetie.” Ville nuzzled his nose in Bam’s neck, breathing in his musky scent.
“It hurts so much when I can’t help you…I hate when you’re sad…”
“Baby, you know it’s not your fault…listen to me. No matter how sad I get or what happens I’ll always love you, okay? Nothing could ever make me stop.”
“I just keep thinking about when-when you were…sick.” Ville looked down, biting his lip. “Ville, promise me that if you ever feel that way again you’ll tell me. I’ll help you, you know that.” Ville nodded.
“Ville!” Mige yelled, running into the hallway.
“What’s wrong?”
“Get in here!” They ran into the room to find one of the monitors beeping loudly. “Look at that one. It’s the one that shows brain waves.” Ville took Ella’s hand, whispering gently in her ear.
“C’mon, kulta, I know you can hear me…you gotta wake up.”
“Get up, Ella,” Bam said, touching her forehead. “You have to do this, babe. We all need you here…” Ville leaned into Bam’s stomach, but soon gasped. “What?”
“Oh my God…” Bam furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong?”
“She…She squeezed my hand…”