Frozen To Lose It All- Chapter 19
Title: Frozen To Lose It All
Pairing: Vam, Ville/Jonne
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: Ville has been with Jonne for two years now and they want to start their life together. But, when Bam gets in the picture will it stay the same or will everything fall apart?
*Note* This will end up being a MPreg in later chapters. Also, Jonne is a few years older in this since I didn't want Ville to be considered a molester. :p
Disclaimer: If I owned Ville, Bam, or Jonne do you really think I'd be writing??
**Note: I'm grounded from the computer, so Demon_Kitty666 is updating in my name. I'm still the one writing the chapters, so don't worry. Also, if the chapters have a few mistakes flood her journal with complaints. :P Happy reading. One more thing, the links won't be updated until I'm back on. Sorry.
“C’mere,” Jonne said, holding his arms open. Ville latched onto the petit blonde and cried his eyes out. “Shh….it’s okay…”
“I’ve m-missed y-you…” Jonne bit his lip to keep from crying with Ville.
“You wanna talk?” He nodded and let Jonne slide next to him in the bunk. “So…talk to me…about anything. It doesn’t have to be about what happened.”
“Ella’s g-gonna be th-three next month.” Jonne smiled.
“Yeah? Do you have a picture of her?” Ville nodded, reaching over and grabbing a stack of pictures. “These are all of Ella?”
“Most of them…it’s over like a few years, though.” Inside the pile there were pictures of Ella and Ville together along with a lot of Bam. “She’s completely you” Ville sniffed.
“Fuck, I hope not.” Jonne furrowed his brow.
“Why wouldn’t you want her to be like you?”
“Look at me…I’m a mess,” he whispered.
“Ville, if you’re talking about what happened…that wasn’t your fault.” He nodded sadly. “Ville, look at me… what’s wrong with being you?”
“I-I don’t know want her to end up like this.”
“Like what?”
“Broken…”
“Oh, sweetie, you’re not broken…you just got a little cracked.” Ville smirked a bit and laid his head on Jonne’s shoulder. “I’m gonna put you back together, okay? I promise.”
“Jonne…do me a favor…don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I don’t.”
“How’s Ella?” Bam asked April over the phone.
“She keeps crying for you and Ville.”
“Damnit… can I talk to her?” April called Ella and put her on the phone. “Hi, El.”
“Bammie! Come home!”
“I want to, babe, but I have to take care of Willa. Then when he’s better I can come home.”
“Is Willa really sick?” Bam felt a lump start to form in his throat.
“Yeah, baby girl.”
“Does he have a cold?”
“No, he’s not that kind of sick.”
“Then what?”
‘How am I gonna tell her this?’ Bam thought. ‘What should I say? ‘Willa got raped?’ “Umm…I don’t know, El He just needs time to get better.”
“Okay. I love you, Bammie.”
“I love you, too.”
“Can I ask you something?” Ville nodded. “What made you…ya know…cheat?” Ville tensed up and fingered the loose threads on his jeans. “I’m not asking to put blame on you, I’m just curious.”
“I honestly don’t know. I mean I didn’t do it to hurt you. I-I loved you…but I loved Bam, too.”
“Ya know…for the longest time I hated you…you hurt me so much…but after awhile it got better. I met Christus and I…I guess I feel in love.”
“You should’ve kept hating me.” Jonne took Ville’s face in his hands.
“Ville…you are an amazing person. You’re loving, you’re kind…you’re extremely talented…and you have a heart of gold…you didn’t deserve to get hurt, Ville.” Ville’s eyes went to the floor. “Hey, look at me…it’s. Not. Your. Fault. Alright? You didn’t ask for this.”
“Then why did it happen?” he whimpered. Jonne shook his head.
“I don’t know.”
Bam slumped down on the couch and sighed. Ville wouldn’t let anyone touch him, physically or emotionally. He didn’t know what to do. It was his job to take care of Ville, but it just wasn’t happening. ‘What the fuck am I gonna do?’ he thought. Bam leaned over and grabbed a guitar. He started strumming a few chords sending him into a flashback.
~ Bammie, c’mere,” Ville said, sitting on Bams bed. They were away from each other for three months while Ville worked on the album and did wedding things with Jonne, so when Bam found out he was coming he made sure they’d have the house to themselves. “I wanna show you this song I wrote…”~
“No I won’t surrender…at any cost…love something so sweet and tender…from my heart…” Bam’s voice started to crack as he hit the chorus. “You are the one…and there’s no regrets at all…you are the one…and there’s no regrets at all…”
“Ville it takes time to heal. It’s not gonna happen over night, but you have to want to get better.”
“It’s just hard…I see him everywhere.” Jonne stroked Ville’s raven hair and kissed his head.
“But, honey, he’s not…it’s just you’re imagination. You can’t be afraid…” He grabbed one of the pictures of Ella in Bam and Ville’s arms. “They need you, Ville. You know it.” A knock came at the bunk and Bam stuck his head in.
“Vil, can I talk to you?” He nodded slowly and crawled out. He sat down on the couch, watching Bam grab Sylvester.
“What’re you-…” He put his hand up to Ville’s mouth.
“Just…don’t talk.” Ville looked down like he did something wrong. Bam began strumming on the guitar.
“I know how it feels to be on your own
in this cruel world where hearts are bound to turn to stone,
where you are alone and tired of breathin it’s all gone wrong
and you just can’t stand the pain anymore,
you’re to numb to believe in anything,
baby just don’t close your heart,
cause in joy and sorrow my home’s in your arms
in a world so hollow it’s breakin my heart,
but here we are in the maelstrom of love
waiting for the call to sooth our hearts,
I was waiting for you, waiting for all my life
and I’ve been cryin for you dyin for you all this time
and I was waiting for you waiting for all my life
and I’m not gonna lose you tonight,
even though it’s heartache every moment from the start to the end,
heartache every moment with you,
and deeper into heavenly sufferin,
our fragile souls are fallin,
it’s heartache every moment baby with you,
my darling with you,
but no one will love you,
no one will love you the way I do
so keep on pretending ,
our heavens worth the wait,
so keep on pretending, it’s alright,
cause we’re close to the flame, burning brightly,
but please don’t let it,
please don’t let it go,
cause if you wont let it, I won’t let it go,
cause just one look into your eyes,
one look and I’m cryin
cause you’re so beautiful
and you are the one
and there’s no regrets at all,
you are the one and there’s no regrets at all…” Ville was looking at him with tears in his eyes and his mouth hanging open.
“Oh m-my God…”
“Ville, listen, you’re…you’re everything to me, and when you….when that happened, I-I felt like I couldn’t save you…”
“It’s just…I felt so lost…” Bam pulled Ville into his lap and held him.
“Oh God, Vil’…I’ll find you…I will always find you.”
**********************************************************
Comments=Vam Sex
Oh, and "A Diabolical Requiem" will be updated soon. The next chapter is almost done.
Pairing: Vam, Ville/Jonne
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: Ville has been with Jonne for two years now and they want to start their life together. But, when Bam gets in the picture will it stay the same or will everything fall apart?
*Note* This will end up being a MPreg in later chapters. Also, Jonne is a few years older in this since I didn't want Ville to be considered a molester. :p
Disclaimer: If I owned Ville, Bam, or Jonne do you really think I'd be writing??
**Note: I'm grounded from the computer, so Demon_Kitty666 is updating in my name. I'm still the one writing the chapters, so don't worry. Also, if the chapters have a few mistakes flood her journal with complaints. :P Happy reading. One more thing, the links won't be updated until I'm back on. Sorry.
“C’mere,” Jonne said, holding his arms open. Ville latched onto the petit blonde and cried his eyes out. “Shh….it’s okay…”
“I’ve m-missed y-you…” Jonne bit his lip to keep from crying with Ville.
“You wanna talk?” He nodded and let Jonne slide next to him in the bunk. “So…talk to me…about anything. It doesn’t have to be about what happened.”
“Ella’s g-gonna be th-three next month.” Jonne smiled.
“Yeah? Do you have a picture of her?” Ville nodded, reaching over and grabbing a stack of pictures. “These are all of Ella?”
“Most of them…it’s over like a few years, though.” Inside the pile there were pictures of Ella and Ville together along with a lot of Bam. “She’s completely you” Ville sniffed.
“Fuck, I hope not.” Jonne furrowed his brow.
“Why wouldn’t you want her to be like you?”
“Look at me…I’m a mess,” he whispered.
“Ville, if you’re talking about what happened…that wasn’t your fault.” He nodded sadly. “Ville, look at me… what’s wrong with being you?”
“I-I don’t know want her to end up like this.”
“Like what?”
“Broken…”
“Oh, sweetie, you’re not broken…you just got a little cracked.” Ville smirked a bit and laid his head on Jonne’s shoulder. “I’m gonna put you back together, okay? I promise.”
“Jonne…do me a favor…don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I don’t.”
“How’s Ella?” Bam asked April over the phone.
“She keeps crying for you and Ville.”
“Damnit… can I talk to her?” April called Ella and put her on the phone. “Hi, El.”
“Bammie! Come home!”
“I want to, babe, but I have to take care of Willa. Then when he’s better I can come home.”
“Is Willa really sick?” Bam felt a lump start to form in his throat.
“Yeah, baby girl.”
“Does he have a cold?”
“No, he’s not that kind of sick.”
“Then what?”
‘How am I gonna tell her this?’ Bam thought. ‘What should I say? ‘Willa got raped?’ “Umm…I don’t know, El He just needs time to get better.”
“Okay. I love you, Bammie.”
“I love you, too.”
“Can I ask you something?” Ville nodded. “What made you…ya know…cheat?” Ville tensed up and fingered the loose threads on his jeans. “I’m not asking to put blame on you, I’m just curious.”
“I honestly don’t know. I mean I didn’t do it to hurt you. I-I loved you…but I loved Bam, too.”
“Ya know…for the longest time I hated you…you hurt me so much…but after awhile it got better. I met Christus and I…I guess I feel in love.”
“You should’ve kept hating me.” Jonne took Ville’s face in his hands.
“Ville…you are an amazing person. You’re loving, you’re kind…you’re extremely talented…and you have a heart of gold…you didn’t deserve to get hurt, Ville.” Ville’s eyes went to the floor. “Hey, look at me…it’s. Not. Your. Fault. Alright? You didn’t ask for this.”
“Then why did it happen?” he whimpered. Jonne shook his head.
“I don’t know.”
Bam slumped down on the couch and sighed. Ville wouldn’t let anyone touch him, physically or emotionally. He didn’t know what to do. It was his job to take care of Ville, but it just wasn’t happening. ‘What the fuck am I gonna do?’ he thought. Bam leaned over and grabbed a guitar. He started strumming a few chords sending him into a flashback.
~ Bammie, c’mere,” Ville said, sitting on Bams bed. They were away from each other for three months while Ville worked on the album and did wedding things with Jonne, so when Bam found out he was coming he made sure they’d have the house to themselves. “I wanna show you this song I wrote…”~
“No I won’t surrender…at any cost…love something so sweet and tender…from my heart…” Bam’s voice started to crack as he hit the chorus. “You are the one…and there’s no regrets at all…you are the one…and there’s no regrets at all…”
“Ville it takes time to heal. It’s not gonna happen over night, but you have to want to get better.”
“It’s just hard…I see him everywhere.” Jonne stroked Ville’s raven hair and kissed his head.
“But, honey, he’s not…it’s just you’re imagination. You can’t be afraid…” He grabbed one of the pictures of Ella in Bam and Ville’s arms. “They need you, Ville. You know it.” A knock came at the bunk and Bam stuck his head in.
“Vil, can I talk to you?” He nodded slowly and crawled out. He sat down on the couch, watching Bam grab Sylvester.
“What’re you-…” He put his hand up to Ville’s mouth.
“Just…don’t talk.” Ville looked down like he did something wrong. Bam began strumming on the guitar.
“I know how it feels to be on your own
in this cruel world where hearts are bound to turn to stone,
where you are alone and tired of breathin it’s all gone wrong
and you just can’t stand the pain anymore,
you’re to numb to believe in anything,
baby just don’t close your heart,
cause in joy and sorrow my home’s in your arms
in a world so hollow it’s breakin my heart,
but here we are in the maelstrom of love
waiting for the call to sooth our hearts,
I was waiting for you, waiting for all my life
and I’ve been cryin for you dyin for you all this time
and I was waiting for you waiting for all my life
and I’m not gonna lose you tonight,
even though it’s heartache every moment from the start to the end,
heartache every moment with you,
and deeper into heavenly sufferin,
our fragile souls are fallin,
it’s heartache every moment baby with you,
my darling with you,
but no one will love you,
no one will love you the way I do
so keep on pretending ,
our heavens worth the wait,
so keep on pretending, it’s alright,
cause we’re close to the flame, burning brightly,
but please don’t let it,
please don’t let it go,
cause if you wont let it, I won’t let it go,
cause just one look into your eyes,
one look and I’m cryin
cause you’re so beautiful
and you are the one
and there’s no regrets at all,
you are the one and there’s no regrets at all…” Ville was looking at him with tears in his eyes and his mouth hanging open.
“Oh m-my God…”
“Ville, listen, you’re…you’re everything to me, and when you….when that happened, I-I felt like I couldn’t save you…”
“It’s just…I felt so lost…” Bam pulled Ville into his lap and held him.
“Oh God, Vil’…I’ll find you…I will always find you.”
**********************************************************
Comments=Vam Sex
Oh, and "A Diabolical Requiem" will be updated soon. The next chapter is almost done.