vagueangel
in
__vam
Just Another Kid
Summary- Bam's known for a while that Ville has a little.. problem. But what happens when it starts getting out of control?
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter Forty-Two
Bam sat in his car for a few minutes, unmoving. He let his head fall against the steering wheel and let out a shaky sigh. Finally, he started the car and began driving.
He turned off the music; he felt guilty, why should he have music when Ville couldn’t even have shoelaces? At ever exit, Bam fought the urge to turn around, to go back to the hospital and demand to take his boyfriend home. Briefly entertaining the idea of going to a bar, Bam shook his head a bit. Calling his friends was also out of the question. Bam felt like he deserved to be punished for leaving Ville at the hospital. It seemed so wrong for like to go on as normal while his lover was in a psychiatric ward.
He remembered he would have to call the Valos and tell them what happened, as well as Mige and the band. Bam thought that might almost be punishment enough. Ville’s parents, who had been so accepting and supportive of their son and his boyfriend, they would surely hate Bam now, blame him somehow. Mige, always so protective of Ville, he would have been able to take care of things, he would have made everything right again.
Bam wanted someone with him, just comforting him with their presence while he made those calls. But Ville had no one with him. Ville was alone and Bam wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
He wanted to call his mother, wanted to hear the soothing cadence of her voice telling him that somehow, everything would be alright. But Bam knew she wouldn’t tell him that now. She’d tell him to stop wasting his time and his money, and ship Ville back to Helsinki where his family could deal with him.
Bam drove on autopilot, taking exits and turns purely by habit. Even though he knew he was doing that was best for Ville, he still felt horrible. He could hear Ville calling to him, pleading with him not be left in the hospital.
When he got home, Bam hesitated for a second, then headed for the Pirate Bar. He reached for the vodka, but changed his mind, wanting a full bottle for when Ville came home. Rationally, he knew he could always buy more, but this way, somehow it made him feel like his love would be home any day.
He opened a beer and drained it in nearly one long pull. Bam stared at the phone for a while, wondering who to call first. Deciding to call Mige and work out any kinks in his speech, he picked up the phone and dialed slowly.
“Hei.”
“Mige?”
“Bammie boy! How goes it?”
Bam sighed at the smile in Mige’s voice. “It could be better, dude. It could be a fuck of a lot better.”
Frowning, Mige lit a cigarette. “How bad is it?”
“He’s in the hospital.”
“Oh, god.” Mige drew a sharp breath, trying not to panic. “Did he.. hurt himself?”
Opening another beer, Bam took a slow swallow. “No. I mean, not more than he has before. He just- It got so bad, Mige. He’s been altered for two weeks straight, and he started doing this catatonic thing, and I just can’t- I mean, I couldn’t-“
Cutting him off, Mige kept his tone even. “Bam, don’t. Don’t blame yourself. I know how you feel about Ville, and I know you did what you thought was best for him.” He sighed softly, running a hand through his long shaggy hair. “What caused it? Why’s this happening?”
By the time Bam had run through the whole story, Mige was shaking with rage. “That child molesting fuck! I hope he’s burning in the deepest pits of hell. .”
“Ville won’t admit it happened. The shrink said he couldn’t do anything else-“ Bam cut himself off, lighting a cigarette with shaking hands. “I’m sorry. I tried, and I’m just so sorry.”
“Don’t be an arse. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Mige took a few deep breaths. “Have you told Anita and Kari yet?”
“No. I just got home from dropping him off.”
Nodding a bit, Mige put out his cigarette and immediately lit a fresh one. “Do you want me to call them?”
Bam sighed. “No. No, I think I need to do that. God, they’re going to hate me.”
“They won’t. Believe me; they knew Ville had this problem, and they know what I know.”
“What’s that?”
Mige smiled gently, even though his heart was breaking for his best friend and for Bam. “You guys are the real thing. Like, real love, man. If you said you tried, they’ll believe it.”
“Fuck, dude, don’t make me cry again.” Bam managed a weak laugh. “I’ve already been bawling like a bitch all day.”
“Do you need anything, Bam? Seriously, do you need help or-“
“No, I got it.” Bam took another swallow of beer. “ I- I just wanted to tell you. He’ll be in for at least a month, so…”
“Keep me updated.” Mige hesitated. “I know it’s not your thing, but if you need to talk to someone, call me. Okay?”
“Thanks, man.” Bam said his goodbyes and hung up. He finished his beer, steeling himself for the conversation with Ville’s parent’s.
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter Forty-Two
Bam sat in his car for a few minutes, unmoving. He let his head fall against the steering wheel and let out a shaky sigh. Finally, he started the car and began driving.
He turned off the music; he felt guilty, why should he have music when Ville couldn’t even have shoelaces? At ever exit, Bam fought the urge to turn around, to go back to the hospital and demand to take his boyfriend home. Briefly entertaining the idea of going to a bar, Bam shook his head a bit. Calling his friends was also out of the question. Bam felt like he deserved to be punished for leaving Ville at the hospital. It seemed so wrong for like to go on as normal while his lover was in a psychiatric ward.
He remembered he would have to call the Valos and tell them what happened, as well as Mige and the band. Bam thought that might almost be punishment enough. Ville’s parents, who had been so accepting and supportive of their son and his boyfriend, they would surely hate Bam now, blame him somehow. Mige, always so protective of Ville, he would have been able to take care of things, he would have made everything right again.
Bam wanted someone with him, just comforting him with their presence while he made those calls. But Ville had no one with him. Ville was alone and Bam wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
He wanted to call his mother, wanted to hear the soothing cadence of her voice telling him that somehow, everything would be alright. But Bam knew she wouldn’t tell him that now. She’d tell him to stop wasting his time and his money, and ship Ville back to Helsinki where his family could deal with him.
Bam drove on autopilot, taking exits and turns purely by habit. Even though he knew he was doing that was best for Ville, he still felt horrible. He could hear Ville calling to him, pleading with him not be left in the hospital.
When he got home, Bam hesitated for a second, then headed for the Pirate Bar. He reached for the vodka, but changed his mind, wanting a full bottle for when Ville came home. Rationally, he knew he could always buy more, but this way, somehow it made him feel like his love would be home any day.
He opened a beer and drained it in nearly one long pull. Bam stared at the phone for a while, wondering who to call first. Deciding to call Mige and work out any kinks in his speech, he picked up the phone and dialed slowly.
“Hei.”
“Mige?”
“Bammie boy! How goes it?”
Bam sighed at the smile in Mige’s voice. “It could be better, dude. It could be a fuck of a lot better.”
Frowning, Mige lit a cigarette. “How bad is it?”
“He’s in the hospital.”
“Oh, god.” Mige drew a sharp breath, trying not to panic. “Did he.. hurt himself?”
Opening another beer, Bam took a slow swallow. “No. I mean, not more than he has before. He just- It got so bad, Mige. He’s been altered for two weeks straight, and he started doing this catatonic thing, and I just can’t- I mean, I couldn’t-“
Cutting him off, Mige kept his tone even. “Bam, don’t. Don’t blame yourself. I know how you feel about Ville, and I know you did what you thought was best for him.” He sighed softly, running a hand through his long shaggy hair. “What caused it? Why’s this happening?”
By the time Bam had run through the whole story, Mige was shaking with rage. “That child molesting fuck! I hope he’s burning in the deepest pits of hell. .”
“Ville won’t admit it happened. The shrink said he couldn’t do anything else-“ Bam cut himself off, lighting a cigarette with shaking hands. “I’m sorry. I tried, and I’m just so sorry.”
“Don’t be an arse. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Mige took a few deep breaths. “Have you told Anita and Kari yet?”
“No. I just got home from dropping him off.”
Nodding a bit, Mige put out his cigarette and immediately lit a fresh one. “Do you want me to call them?”
Bam sighed. “No. No, I think I need to do that. God, they’re going to hate me.”
“They won’t. Believe me; they knew Ville had this problem, and they know what I know.”
“What’s that?”
Mige smiled gently, even though his heart was breaking for his best friend and for Bam. “You guys are the real thing. Like, real love, man. If you said you tried, they’ll believe it.”
“Fuck, dude, don’t make me cry again.” Bam managed a weak laugh. “I’ve already been bawling like a bitch all day.”
“Do you need anything, Bam? Seriously, do you need help or-“
“No, I got it.” Bam took another swallow of beer. “ I- I just wanted to tell you. He’ll be in for at least a month, so…”
“Keep me updated.” Mige hesitated. “I know it’s not your thing, but if you need to talk to someone, call me. Okay?”
“Thanks, man.” Bam said his goodbyes and hung up. He finished his beer, steeling himself for the conversation with Ville’s parent’s.