vagueangel
in
__vam
Just Another Kid
Summary- Bam's known for a while that Ville has a little.. problem. But what happens when it starts getting out of control?
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter 12 and links
For all the sugary bribes, and for making me giggle at the thought of cyber-hypnotism. Thanks, dolls. :)
Chapter Thirteen
At home, Bam went straight to the Pirate Bar and grabbed the first bottle his hand touched- vodka -and poured himself a generous shot. He downed it quickly, letting his head thud against the freezer once before replacing the bottle.
“Bam?”
Sighing, Bam grabbed a beer and dropped onto a chair. It had taken Ville the better part of the trip home to return to normal, and even though he stayed mostly quiet, the hurt looks and little hurt noises he had kept sending Bam’s way had started to drive him nuts.
Ville hesitated in the doorway, knowing Bam was put off with him, and completely afraid to ask why. Not just because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but also because Bam definitely did not look like he was in the mood to talk. “Bammie?”
“Ville, you don’t have to hide in doorways, man, come on.” Bam opened the fridge and grabbed another beer, sliding it across the counter. “Mi casa es su casa. Always has been. You know that.”
“I just didn’t want to disturb you, sweetheart.” Ville opened the bottle and took a sip of beer, finding himself in an awkward silence with Bam for possibly the first time ever. “Maybe we could go out tonight. Go to the bar?” He looked at his lover with hopeful eyes, just wanting everything to be back the way it was.
Bam shifted uncomfortably. “I gotta wait for a call from the doctor.” He hesitated only a second. “I was thinking I’d call the guys and see what they’re doing. I haven’t really hung out with them all in a while.”
Nodding, Ville’s voice was small as he tried to keep the hurt out. That hadn’t sounded like an invitation. “Oh. Okay.” He took another sip before starting to pick at the label. “I’m going to go outside for a bit, I guess.” Grabbing a spare bottle, he headed out to sit by the pool.
Lighting up a cigarette, Ville sat on a lounge chair, knees drawn to his chest, chin resting atop them. After only a minute, he pulled a face and stood, tugging his chair out of the late afternoon sun and into the shade. He quickly finished one beer and started on the second.
Obviously, he had regressed at the doctor’s office. And he figured he had done something (sorry i was bad) less than endearing. He wracked his brain, trying to remember what.
Only fragments returned to him. Abandonment issues. I hate being alone. Why are you so afraid of people leaving you? And then… Nothing. Everything went fuzzy in his mind, leaving him frustrated and confused.
Bam took his second beer to his office, dropping into his chair. He knew it was stupid to be mad at Ville for something he couldn’t even remember doing, something he had no control over… But he was. And he had no control over that, either.
Maybe it was a bit insensitive to leave Ville home alone, but Bam just needed a break. He rarely lost patience with his boyfriend like that; had never done anything to physically hurt him. The fact that Ville had been altered at the time just made him feel worse. He took a quick swallow of beer before looking for footage to work on.
He had meant to edit more skate footage, maybe fuck around with some of the CKY videos, just for fun and practice. What Bam ended up with was endless footage of him and Ville; before and after concerts, during filming for videos, drunk in a bar, or just messing around the house. He got lost in the smiling, laughing, usually drunk faces, and nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Margera-“
“Just Bam. Mr. Margera is my dad.” Bam realized it had grown dark, and leaned over to switch on the light.
“It’s Dr. Jackson. I wanted to speak with you, if that’s still alright.”
Sighing, Bam shut off his monitor. “Sure. Go ahead.”
There was a pause before the doctor spoke again. “How is Ville now?”
was still tweaked most of the ride home. But he’s back to normal now. I guess.”
“I think that his condition is related to some abandonment issues. I’d like to try and focus on that next week. But I’d like you to be present for the session.”
Trying to ignore the twinge of guilt he felt once again, Bam stood and stretched. “In case he throws a tantrum again?”
“No. He’s more relaxed when you’re there. I think there will be less chance of him becoming altered if you’re with him. But you’ll need to stay calm as well. Do you think you can do that?”
“Anything,” Bam said quickly.
“Wonderful. And try to encourage him to call his friend, if you would.”
“No problem.” Bam said his goodbyes quickly and left the office in search of Ville. He found him shooting pool, a disconsolate look on his face. “Hey, beautiful.”
Glancing up, Ville tried to smile, felt his lips tremble and gave up. “Hey, yourself.” He took his shot and straightened, leaning his hip against the table as he studied Bam. “Did you want to play? I can go-“
Bam frowned a bit. “Are you avoiding me?” He watched Ville shake his head and moved closer, reaching out to take one pale hand in his own. “Well, are you mad at me then?” The older man shook his head again, making Bam sigh in frustration. “Then what is it?”
“You’re mad at me, Bammie, and I have no idea why.” Ville looked down at him, a bit hurt. “I know I was.. altered,” he started, scowling at the word. “But I can’t remember what I did. And if you won’t tell me, how can I apologize?”
Running a hand through his hair, Bam let go of Ville’s hand. He sat on the edge of the pool table. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Vil. It’s not your fault. I’m just a little.. on edge, I guess. So let’s just forget it, okay?”
Shrugging helplessly, Ville laid his cue stick on the table. “I’m a step ahead of you there, Bam. I can’t remember it in the first place.” He started for the stairs.
“Oh, baby, come on…” Bam followed him up the stairs. “Don’t be like this.”
“I haven’t much choice, it seems, love.” Ville held up a hand as Bam opened his mouth. “That was uncalled for. I’m sorry. I’m a little on edge, as well, you know.” He looked away. “Go out and have fun tonight, Bam.”
Bam shook his head. “No, I’ll stay home. I’ll see the guys some other night.” He took a step closer, stopping when Ville fixed him with a half hurt, half confused look.
“I think it would be best if we spent a little time apart.” Ville looked away again, hating the way Bam looked like he had just slapped him in the face. “I think it would be best for both of us.”
“I- Okay. Fine.” Bam nodded a bit, jamming his hands in his pockets. “You need anything before I go? Want me to run you to the store, or-“
“I’m fine.”
Nodding again, watching his lover study the runner of carpet under his feet, Bam sighed. “Okay. Then I guess I’ll see you later."
Rating- Mostly PG-13, but since it's me, there are NC-17 bits thrown in.
Caution- This is a bloody long story.
Right then... onward.
Chapter 12 and links
For all the sugary bribes, and for making me giggle at the thought of cyber-hypnotism. Thanks, dolls. :)
Chapter Thirteen
At home, Bam went straight to the Pirate Bar and grabbed the first bottle his hand touched- vodka -and poured himself a generous shot. He downed it quickly, letting his head thud against the freezer once before replacing the bottle.
“Bam?”
Sighing, Bam grabbed a beer and dropped onto a chair. It had taken Ville the better part of the trip home to return to normal, and even though he stayed mostly quiet, the hurt looks and little hurt noises he had kept sending Bam’s way had started to drive him nuts.
Ville hesitated in the doorway, knowing Bam was put off with him, and completely afraid to ask why. Not just because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but also because Bam definitely did not look like he was in the mood to talk. “Bammie?”
“Ville, you don’t have to hide in doorways, man, come on.” Bam opened the fridge and grabbed another beer, sliding it across the counter. “Mi casa es su casa. Always has been. You know that.”
“I just didn’t want to disturb you, sweetheart.” Ville opened the bottle and took a sip of beer, finding himself in an awkward silence with Bam for possibly the first time ever. “Maybe we could go out tonight. Go to the bar?” He looked at his lover with hopeful eyes, just wanting everything to be back the way it was.
Bam shifted uncomfortably. “I gotta wait for a call from the doctor.” He hesitated only a second. “I was thinking I’d call the guys and see what they’re doing. I haven’t really hung out with them all in a while.”
Nodding, Ville’s voice was small as he tried to keep the hurt out. That hadn’t sounded like an invitation. “Oh. Okay.” He took another sip before starting to pick at the label. “I’m going to go outside for a bit, I guess.” Grabbing a spare bottle, he headed out to sit by the pool.
Lighting up a cigarette, Ville sat on a lounge chair, knees drawn to his chest, chin resting atop them. After only a minute, he pulled a face and stood, tugging his chair out of the late afternoon sun and into the shade. He quickly finished one beer and started on the second.
Obviously, he had regressed at the doctor’s office. And he figured he had done something (sorry i was bad) less than endearing. He wracked his brain, trying to remember what.
Only fragments returned to him. Abandonment issues. I hate being alone. Why are you so afraid of people leaving you? And then… Nothing. Everything went fuzzy in his mind, leaving him frustrated and confused.
Bam took his second beer to his office, dropping into his chair. He knew it was stupid to be mad at Ville for something he couldn’t even remember doing, something he had no control over… But he was. And he had no control over that, either.
Maybe it was a bit insensitive to leave Ville home alone, but Bam just needed a break. He rarely lost patience with his boyfriend like that; had never done anything to physically hurt him. The fact that Ville had been altered at the time just made him feel worse. He took a quick swallow of beer before looking for footage to work on.
He had meant to edit more skate footage, maybe fuck around with some of the CKY videos, just for fun and practice. What Bam ended up with was endless footage of him and Ville; before and after concerts, during filming for videos, drunk in a bar, or just messing around the house. He got lost in the smiling, laughing, usually drunk faces, and nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Margera-“
“Just Bam. Mr. Margera is my dad.” Bam realized it had grown dark, and leaned over to switch on the light.
“It’s Dr. Jackson. I wanted to speak with you, if that’s still alright.”
Sighing, Bam shut off his monitor. “Sure. Go ahead.”
There was a pause before the doctor spoke again. “How is Ville now?”
was still tweaked most of the ride home. But he’s back to normal now. I guess.”
“I think that his condition is related to some abandonment issues. I’d like to try and focus on that next week. But I’d like you to be present for the session.”
Trying to ignore the twinge of guilt he felt once again, Bam stood and stretched. “In case he throws a tantrum again?”
“No. He’s more relaxed when you’re there. I think there will be less chance of him becoming altered if you’re with him. But you’ll need to stay calm as well. Do you think you can do that?”
“Anything,” Bam said quickly.
“Wonderful. And try to encourage him to call his friend, if you would.”
“No problem.” Bam said his goodbyes quickly and left the office in search of Ville. He found him shooting pool, a disconsolate look on his face. “Hey, beautiful.”
Glancing up, Ville tried to smile, felt his lips tremble and gave up. “Hey, yourself.” He took his shot and straightened, leaning his hip against the table as he studied Bam. “Did you want to play? I can go-“
Bam frowned a bit. “Are you avoiding me?” He watched Ville shake his head and moved closer, reaching out to take one pale hand in his own. “Well, are you mad at me then?” The older man shook his head again, making Bam sigh in frustration. “Then what is it?”
“You’re mad at me, Bammie, and I have no idea why.” Ville looked down at him, a bit hurt. “I know I was.. altered,” he started, scowling at the word. “But I can’t remember what I did. And if you won’t tell me, how can I apologize?”
Running a hand through his hair, Bam let go of Ville’s hand. He sat on the edge of the pool table. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Vil. It’s not your fault. I’m just a little.. on edge, I guess. So let’s just forget it, okay?”
Shrugging helplessly, Ville laid his cue stick on the table. “I’m a step ahead of you there, Bam. I can’t remember it in the first place.” He started for the stairs.
“Oh, baby, come on…” Bam followed him up the stairs. “Don’t be like this.”
“I haven’t much choice, it seems, love.” Ville held up a hand as Bam opened his mouth. “That was uncalled for. I’m sorry. I’m a little on edge, as well, you know.” He looked away. “Go out and have fun tonight, Bam.”
Bam shook his head. “No, I’ll stay home. I’ll see the guys some other night.” He took a step closer, stopping when Ville fixed him with a half hurt, half confused look.
“I think it would be best if we spent a little time apart.” Ville looked away again, hating the way Bam looked like he had just slapped him in the face. “I think it would be best for both of us.”
“I- Okay. Fine.” Bam nodded a bit, jamming his hands in his pockets. “You need anything before I go? Want me to run you to the store, or-“
“I’m fine.”
Nodding again, watching his lover study the runner of carpet under his feet, Bam sighed. “Okay. Then I guess I’ll see you later."