rock_chicka
in
__vam
Bittersweet
i nice little update to keep the fic alive... hopefully :|
well... anyways... this if for the beautiful sweet_666_777 because she still reads this and makes me feel special wen she comments :D
Title: Bittersweet
Chapter: SEVEN
Rating: M15+
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no-one but courtney :P
Comments and LOVED... previous chapters behind cut :D
Chapter's 1-6 =>http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1399911.html#cutid1
It felt like I had been away for years, and from the look on your face, you felt like that too.
~*~
I stepped off the plane and came through the gates. I scanned the crowd and before I had found him, Bam had flown into my arms. I caught him and held onto him for dear life. I could feel him wrap his arms around my body and squeeze me close but it took me several moments to work out he was shaking. Pulling his face out from the crook of my neck, I made him look into my eyes. His blue eyes were clouded with tears and several had started to run down his face.
“Oh Bammie, what is wrong love?” He just shook his head and grabbed hold of my hand, leading me to the luggage carrousel. Picking up my luggage, he carried it back to the car, his empty arm linked around my waist, forcing me into his side.
--
We drove home in silence, Ville curled up in the passenger seat, his hand draped across my thigh. Every second I would check the rear-view mirrors, checking for the red hummer I knew would be there and the dirty blonde I knew would be behind the wheel.
“Are you alright Bammie?” I heard Ville ask me, his hand had stopped moving and was simply squeezing my knee. I shook my head, the tears springing to my eyes once again. As I pulled into the driveway I had to swerve to miss a tree. Slamming on the brakes, I rested my head on the steering wheel and broke down. I felt Ville slipping into my lap, pulling me closer to his body and rocking me back and forth.
“Oh Bammie, what’s wrong love?” He whispered into my ear.
“I don’t disserve you!” I heard myself whisper back, not realising the words had actually left my mouth.
“Of corse you do,” he said, his green eyes were filled with concern. “You are perfect for me and I love you.” I shook my head.
“I’m not perfect Ville, far from it.” The tears had started again and were spilling onto my lap and Ville’s shirt. His face moved and suddenly I felt his lips on mine. I pulled back, my head crashing into the seat. His green eyes shone with tears as I said what he feared the most.
“I don’t remember doing it, but the note she left on my, on our mirror… well… I did, and I never meant to hurt you but… I had no idea…” I was stuttering, and nothing I was saying was making much sense to Ville, I could tell because his eyes were confused. I tried again, trying to make everything clear for him. “I slept with her Ville, and I didn’t mean to and I don’t remember doing it, but I did.” I could feel the tears spring to his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I could feel him trying to move away from me, confusion gripping at his body. “I’m so sorry Ville.” I whispered as he slammed the car door, making the car rock back and forth. I broke down as I watched him stumble to the front door, the tears slipping down his face. I knew that I had blown everything in that moment. There was no way I could go inside and hurt Ville again by making him face me. I wouldn’t make him pay for my own stupid actions. Crawling into the back seat, I locked the car doors and prepared myself for a long night alone in the cold.
--
I couldn’t believe that Bammie would hurt me like that. I was having trouble understanding what he said, but eventually it sunk in. He had cheated on me and was too drunk to remember doing it. What hurt the most was it was with a girl. That made me feel like some stupid experiment. I knew I was his first boyfriend but he used to love me, once upon a time. I remembered the way he used to look at me, holding me like I would break. It wasn’t very long ago, but it was long enough. I made the mistake of believing we had a relationship, that we had something real. Grabbing the only thing that made sense to me, I threw back my head and started on the Vodka.
--
I didn’t hear the car door’s unlocking, or him climbing in beside me until the door clicked shut. Sitting up, I prepared myself for the worst. Instead, I was greeted by a tired and saddened Ville who was attempting to lie down next to me.
“I… I know what… what you did… hurts… but,” He started, stumbling over words, the alcohol on his breath obvious. I didn’t want to stop him and have him hate me more, so I let him continue.
“Why were you so… so jumpy today? I mean… for fucks sake you nearly hit a fucking tree!” Ville gave up at trying to lie down, instead content with leaning against the seat, his eyes on me. I hung my head.
“I think… I think someone is following me. His eyes went wide with what I thought was shock.
“You didn’t know??” He muttered. Then, strangely, he started to laugh.
“It’s not funny Ville, it’s serious. I’m… I’m scared.” He stopped laughing, a serious expression returning to his face. “And what do you mean I didn’t know?”
“It’s just… well… way back, before I went to LA, we went to the supermarket, and well, instead of running around like you always do, you kind of just, stayed with me. And I had seen this… this car, everywhere we were, and it had started to follow what we were doing, or more particularly you and I thought you knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me if you knew Ville?” I whispered
“Because I was upset that you didn’t tell me, I felt like you didn’t trust me enough to tell me, so I wasn’t going to let you know that I knew.”
“But I didn’t know she was following me.”
“But I thought you did.” A silence fell in the car, I was curled up on the backseat propped strangely against the door and Ville sitting on my feet, leaning against the seat.
“I tell you everything Ville, no matter how stupid or painful or trivial it is. I always have, you know that.” My words brought back the more important subject between us, and the reason why I was still in the car.
Ville nodded.
“Come inside Bammie, we need to talk and the couch is so much comfier then this car.” I smiled. I truly didn’t deserve him, but I followed him inside, sprinting to the door, afraid of the darkness that surrounded me. He pulled me down onto the couch, draping my legs across his body and pulling me closer, his arms around my waist.
--
“She left a message on my machine in LA you know.” I started, kissing Bam’s shoulder.
“Who did?” He asked me, confused. “Courtney, of corse. She said that you still loved her…”
“Wait, you mean… Courtney… Courtney Courtney?? The one who… who tried to… to kill me??” I was confused. Bam was reacting differently to what I would have expected seeing as we had only been talking about her stalking him. I nodded.
“Fuck!” raising an eyebrow, I started to wonder weather Bam knew if it was her stalking him or not.
“You know her Bammie, the one who stole your hummer, the one who has been following you around… that Courtney.” As his expression changed, I realised that he hadn’t known it was her.
“Oh Shit!” he had started to cry again, the tears falling onto my shoulder.
“What’s wrong Bammie?” I asked him.
“Ville… she… I… I slept with her… she’s the one who left a message on the mirror… the one who… she’s been stalking me??” It all made sense now.
“It was her.” He hung his head again, the tears flowing. “Shhh Bammie, it’s ok.” He shook his head at me. “I forgive you.” I whispered to him, my hands moving to cup his face, his hair falling between my fingers. “I love you and I forgive you.” A faint smile danced around the edges of his lips.
~*~
I knew in that instant why it was that I love you so much. I had committed a sin that could have, potentially, ended out relationship and yet you forgave me. I honestly can’t say I deserved it but.
well... anyways... this if for the beautiful sweet_666_777 because she still reads this and makes me feel special wen she comments :D
Title: Bittersweet
Chapter: SEVEN
Rating: M15+
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no-one but courtney :P
Comments and LOVED... previous chapters behind cut :D
Chapter's 1-6 =>http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1399911.html#cutid1
It felt like I had been away for years, and from the look on your face, you felt like that too.
~*~
I stepped off the plane and came through the gates. I scanned the crowd and before I had found him, Bam had flown into my arms. I caught him and held onto him for dear life. I could feel him wrap his arms around my body and squeeze me close but it took me several moments to work out he was shaking. Pulling his face out from the crook of my neck, I made him look into my eyes. His blue eyes were clouded with tears and several had started to run down his face.
“Oh Bammie, what is wrong love?” He just shook his head and grabbed hold of my hand, leading me to the luggage carrousel. Picking up my luggage, he carried it back to the car, his empty arm linked around my waist, forcing me into his side.
--
We drove home in silence, Ville curled up in the passenger seat, his hand draped across my thigh. Every second I would check the rear-view mirrors, checking for the red hummer I knew would be there and the dirty blonde I knew would be behind the wheel.
“Are you alright Bammie?” I heard Ville ask me, his hand had stopped moving and was simply squeezing my knee. I shook my head, the tears springing to my eyes once again. As I pulled into the driveway I had to swerve to miss a tree. Slamming on the brakes, I rested my head on the steering wheel and broke down. I felt Ville slipping into my lap, pulling me closer to his body and rocking me back and forth.
“Oh Bammie, what’s wrong love?” He whispered into my ear.
“I don’t disserve you!” I heard myself whisper back, not realising the words had actually left my mouth.
“Of corse you do,” he said, his green eyes were filled with concern. “You are perfect for me and I love you.” I shook my head.
“I’m not perfect Ville, far from it.” The tears had started again and were spilling onto my lap and Ville’s shirt. His face moved and suddenly I felt his lips on mine. I pulled back, my head crashing into the seat. His green eyes shone with tears as I said what he feared the most.
“I don’t remember doing it, but the note she left on my, on our mirror… well… I did, and I never meant to hurt you but… I had no idea…” I was stuttering, and nothing I was saying was making much sense to Ville, I could tell because his eyes were confused. I tried again, trying to make everything clear for him. “I slept with her Ville, and I didn’t mean to and I don’t remember doing it, but I did.” I could feel the tears spring to his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I could feel him trying to move away from me, confusion gripping at his body. “I’m so sorry Ville.” I whispered as he slammed the car door, making the car rock back and forth. I broke down as I watched him stumble to the front door, the tears slipping down his face. I knew that I had blown everything in that moment. There was no way I could go inside and hurt Ville again by making him face me. I wouldn’t make him pay for my own stupid actions. Crawling into the back seat, I locked the car doors and prepared myself for a long night alone in the cold.
--
I couldn’t believe that Bammie would hurt me like that. I was having trouble understanding what he said, but eventually it sunk in. He had cheated on me and was too drunk to remember doing it. What hurt the most was it was with a girl. That made me feel like some stupid experiment. I knew I was his first boyfriend but he used to love me, once upon a time. I remembered the way he used to look at me, holding me like I would break. It wasn’t very long ago, but it was long enough. I made the mistake of believing we had a relationship, that we had something real. Grabbing the only thing that made sense to me, I threw back my head and started on the Vodka.
--
I didn’t hear the car door’s unlocking, or him climbing in beside me until the door clicked shut. Sitting up, I prepared myself for the worst. Instead, I was greeted by a tired and saddened Ville who was attempting to lie down next to me.
“I… I know what… what you did… hurts… but,” He started, stumbling over words, the alcohol on his breath obvious. I didn’t want to stop him and have him hate me more, so I let him continue.
“Why were you so… so jumpy today? I mean… for fucks sake you nearly hit a fucking tree!” Ville gave up at trying to lie down, instead content with leaning against the seat, his eyes on me. I hung my head.
“I think… I think someone is following me. His eyes went wide with what I thought was shock.
“You didn’t know??” He muttered. Then, strangely, he started to laugh.
“It’s not funny Ville, it’s serious. I’m… I’m scared.” He stopped laughing, a serious expression returning to his face. “And what do you mean I didn’t know?”
“It’s just… well… way back, before I went to LA, we went to the supermarket, and well, instead of running around like you always do, you kind of just, stayed with me. And I had seen this… this car, everywhere we were, and it had started to follow what we were doing, or more particularly you and I thought you knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me if you knew Ville?” I whispered
“Because I was upset that you didn’t tell me, I felt like you didn’t trust me enough to tell me, so I wasn’t going to let you know that I knew.”
“But I didn’t know she was following me.”
“But I thought you did.” A silence fell in the car, I was curled up on the backseat propped strangely against the door and Ville sitting on my feet, leaning against the seat.
“I tell you everything Ville, no matter how stupid or painful or trivial it is. I always have, you know that.” My words brought back the more important subject between us, and the reason why I was still in the car.
Ville nodded.
“Come inside Bammie, we need to talk and the couch is so much comfier then this car.” I smiled. I truly didn’t deserve him, but I followed him inside, sprinting to the door, afraid of the darkness that surrounded me. He pulled me down onto the couch, draping my legs across his body and pulling me closer, his arms around my waist.
--
“She left a message on my machine in LA you know.” I started, kissing Bam’s shoulder.
“Who did?” He asked me, confused. “Courtney, of corse. She said that you still loved her…”
“Wait, you mean… Courtney… Courtney Courtney?? The one who… who tried to… to kill me??” I was confused. Bam was reacting differently to what I would have expected seeing as we had only been talking about her stalking him. I nodded.
“Fuck!” raising an eyebrow, I started to wonder weather Bam knew if it was her stalking him or not.
“You know her Bammie, the one who stole your hummer, the one who has been following you around… that Courtney.” As his expression changed, I realised that he hadn’t known it was her.
“Oh Shit!” he had started to cry again, the tears falling onto my shoulder.
“What’s wrong Bammie?” I asked him.
“Ville… she… I… I slept with her… she’s the one who left a message on the mirror… the one who… she’s been stalking me??” It all made sense now.
“It was her.” He hung his head again, the tears flowing. “Shhh Bammie, it’s ok.” He shook his head at me. “I forgive you.” I whispered to him, my hands moving to cup his face, his hair falling between my fingers. “I love you and I forgive you.” A faint smile danced around the edges of his lips.
~*~
I knew in that instant why it was that I love you so much. I had committed a sin that could have, potentially, ended out relationship and yet you forgave me. I honestly can’t say I deserved it but.