Join me in death
links to other chapters:
chapters 1- 62: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1286696.html
Chapter 63
They stood there in front of the hotel staring in the direction where Sam’s car had disappeared to without saying a word or even trying to move for a while. They just weren’t able to comprehend everything that had happened so fast and took them completely by surprise. All they could do was hold each other for hand just to remind them they’re both in this, that they both share that pain in their hearts, that feeling of suffocation in their chest and the feeling like the whole world has crushed on their young innocent backs.
They turned their sad eyes to each other and their eyes told them they’re bothered with the same questions they both had no answers for. They were both more concerned with how the other side is feeling and how hurt other being is and unconsciously they gently squeezed each other’s hand trying to comfort each other that it’s not the end of the world, that there is hope for better future, that not all is lost and that tomorrow is a new day a better one and that maybe all this was just a bad dream they will both laugh at one day.
They weakly smiled at each other for a very short moment fighting back tears in their watery eyes. Without saying a word they entered the hotel and slowly walked to their room. They just wanted to crawl in the bed and take one another in their arms, hold tight and sleep and hopefully forget about it all.
Bam unlocked the door and they got inside. Ville waited for him to lock the door again then took his hand and they headed to their room still not saying a single word.
“Surprise!”
They both jumped gripping their hands tighter on the sound of familiar voices and light that turned on in the living room when they got in it.
“We came back earlier and we decided to surprise you two,” April threw her arms around Bam and pulled him in hug and Ville let go of his hand.
Ville’s eyes met Phil’s. He was standing right behind April and he noticed the sad look in Ville’s eyes though Ville was trying to cover it up.
“Ville, is everything ok?” he asked worriedly as April was letting go of Bam and looked Bam in the eyes.
“Yeah,” Ville tried to force a smile on his face. He didn’t want them to start asking questions he didn’t know how to answer. “I’m just a little bit tired”
“Are you sure?” Phil asked him again and he nodded.
Bam looked at Ville and their eyes met for a moment before Ville bowed his head. But that brief moment was enough to tell Bam he was tired indeed but not of singing, dancing or anything like that. And Bam was tired too. Tired of hiding and laying.
“Mom, Dad we need to talk,” Bam sighed.
“Now?” April asked. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave it until tomorrow?”
“No,” he shook his head. “We need to talk right now.”
“Ok. What is it?” Phil asked.
“Would you please sit first?” he asked and they nodded and walked over to the couch and sat.
Ville watched Bam and he saw a change in him. His voice didn’t sound childish as used to sound when he’d talk to his parents, no. This was a voice of grown up determinent person but also of someone who has nothing to lose and that was something that Ville recognized at once.
“So what do you want to talk about?” they both asked with worried expressions on their faces. They all knew something big is about to come.
Bam averted his eyes from his parents sitting on the couch and looked at Ville. He wasn’t looking for so much of support but for understanding. He was ready for whatever might happen. He just wanted... no, he needed to know what his parents will think of the truth behind their friendship.
Ville knew what Bam will do. He could feel it in the air let alone see it in his blue eyes. He knew he couldn’t stop him from doing it. And he didn’t want to stop him as well. They have lived in dreams so far. They have live a dream of perfect love so far. And that dream was threathened now. It was threatened to get destroyed, shattered in pieces like it had never existed. Like they had never existed and never loved.
Just one look at those green eyes he had so quickly fell in love with, those eyes that could always read his mind, his needs, his heart, those eyes that only had him and nothing else and didn’t care about anything but him, just one look at them and he was sure he won’t hurt them now. He was sure they’ll stay there as long as he wants them no matter what. They shone a light of support at him and there was no reason why he shouldn’t just speak his mind and end this intensity raising in the air.
“I have something to tell you and one question to ask,” he started in calm voice. “Are you ready to let me say what I have, to just listen to me without interrupting until I’m done?”
“Bam, what’s going on?” Phil’s voice was giving out that he’s getting upset apart from being just worried.
“Bam, you’re scaring me,” April added.
“Will you or will you not listen to me?” Bam insisted without raising his voice.
“Yes, yes goddamnit jut say it,” April nodded hurriedly.
“Well, first of all, I haven’t told you the complete truth about me and Ville. And I’m sorry about that…” he averted his eyes to Ville and gently took his hand interlacing their fingers. “We are more than just best friends. We love each other and we’re together ever since we have met,” his voice was firm, he wasn’t loosing control not even because they were staring at him in shock for a while.
All Ville could do was look at him and squeeze his hand gently and smile at him when he’d smile as well. He looked at Bam’s parents when Bam made a pause in his speech but even before he saw their faces he knew what they looked like. It was nothing new to him.
“And don’t even think to start blaming Ville cause I’m not going to let you do that,” he knew Phil will try to start with ridiculous stupid stories about Ville infecting him with his sickness and he didn’t want to give him chance for something like that cause all that Ville had infected him with was love. And that was all that Bam had ever needed.
Ville looked straight in Phil’s eyes… he knew that look… it was more than just familiar…. He was accustomed to it.
“And nothing you say is going to separate us cause I won’t give up on what I have with him, of what he had given me for these few days for anything in this world, so don’t even try to talk to me about this,” he didn’t want to listen anything they might say, he didn’t want to let them even try to make him feel bad for being in love. He just wanted to know only one thing.
Ville knew those eyes… he had grown up with them watching ever single move he would make… he thought he had left them behind… and he did…
“I just want to know do you or do you not accept the fact that your son is in love with another boy? Are you ready to accept me as well as Ville?” if Ville could have left everything and everybody for him, he could do the same. He didn’t need anything in this world but Ville.
Ville had left those eyes behind him… now it was Bam’s turn to face them… now it was Ville’s turn to watch Bam deal with the demon from Ville’ nightmare… but Bam isn’t alone…
“Just say yes or no. That’s all I need,” he squeezed Ville’s hand in return. He was ready for the hurricane and he was ready to deal with it. Cause he wasn’t alone… he’ll never be alone…
The demon is rising… just like in Ville’s dream… his face is turning in so well-known hated yet loved face… same eyes… same look… wrong body…
“It’s all your fault,” Phil said through his teeth with so much hate in his voice glaring at Ville.”How could you do this to me?!”
“Bam, just say he forced you to do this and we’ll forgive you…” Bam heard his mother. She was denying it is true. She was denying their love. She was denying them.
“Ville didn’t do anything wrong. I told you,” he cut her off. “Just answer my question. Do you accept us both or not?”
But this time Ville can take that look… it can do nothing to him… can’t hurt him anymore… just can’t… but it will keep trying…
“No!” Phil shouted. “I don’t accept that! Not now, not ever!” it was the hate he saw, the anger, the hurt, the dispise all missed up together but hate was the strongest in his father’s eyes. “You, get the fuck out of here and stay away from my family….”
“No Phil!” Bam cut him off. “If he goes I go with him and you’ll never see us again,” he looked Phil straight in his eyes. He had let his determination just take him over. He didn’t have doubts or second thoughts. Not now… not with Ville by his side… not with Ville in his heart…
“Is that what you really think?!”
The demon just had to attack him again, only this time he was attacking him by attack the only person he loves… Don’t be afraid Bam… show no fear… fight him back… I’ll hold your hand…
“You’re really ready to leave your family for him?! Are you ready to lose your mother and me over him?!”
Now Bam… now is the time… don’t let him come any closer… hit him back…
“Yes! I’ll give up on everything for him, I’ll give up whatever it takes for him. If you don’t want him, you don’t want me as well. If he leaves I leave too!”
“Fine! Then get out both! You’re not my son! You don’t have parents anymore!!!”
“And I don’t want parents like you,” he had said what he had. They have all said enough. He had heard enough. He looked at Ville and without saying a word they walked to the door.
“You’ll come back as soon as you get hungry! You’ll beg us to take you back!”
The demon was yelling after them… but his words couldn’t hurt them… they weren’t listening to him anymore
“Goodbye. I won’t ever get back,” he closed the door leaving the demon behind.
They have finally defeated it… they had finally got rid off it… once and for all… The demon won’t follow them… cause after all it turns out demons are afraid of the dark.
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