(Untitled)

[___smokepunch13]

And all the poets and all the writers they write all the words and all the metaphors for there hedonistic ways and for there glutonous evils. But why must we all use the metaphors… is it because we are scared. Don’t worry Oh please don’t be scarred. It didn’t work out in summer so we can try again in spring. Because we are like cornstalks that don’

Comments

[psycho_therapy_]

wooh.

[irapedu_imsorry]

"im actually really bored i wish i had a sexy hippy to chill with".......;) can i be that hippy?

[letspretend____]

HOESKY; I LOVE YOU.

[idiot_boy3]

I Love You.
And that.
gotta print that shit man.

[seleneshine]

hey spence, it's a cool concept, you're a pretty good writer/poet. you always seem so much older than 13... most of the passage was excellent, aside from a few minor gramatical/spelling errors, but i thought the ending lagged a bit, starting with the second "and why must we use metaphors..." the repetition of summer/spring worked nicely, but the repetition of a whole line--the intro thesis line--is both redundant and unwiedly. "us the sailsman" is too grammatically off, and don't end with "does this all make sense" or "what is the point of life" or something cheesy like that, if it's good writing you'll be able to subtly express that idea without explicatly saying it. or if you MUST cop out like this, don't answer your rhetorical question with a "no"...a) it's self-evident, b) that's the reader's job to do. but otherwise, fantastic work. (i totally dug the "try again in spring" thing) shorty couldn't write this deeply if his life depended on it. you however, seem to have something going for you. keep working on it, you never know

[see_no_changes]

i agree, it could use a few commas too.

[chinchilla_0]

hey.. we should hang out... like last time... but not like last time if you know what i mean... with like whiney and stuff again