someone fucking kill me.
i cant take it anymore.
i'm so hysterical.
i cant stop shaking.
i cant stop crying.
i'm so close to doing it.

i dont know.

so things really havent been getting better. i fought with my mom yesterday and shes stupid. i really hate her, i do. and then she called my dad into the room and tried to get him to do something and of course he just took her side ( Read more... )

okay so things have been getting better. manda slept over a few days ago and i hung out with matt last night. we decided not to go to the fireworks and we just sat at my house and watched movies. it was nice.

i cried again yesterday though. i really want to hang out with matt and his friends so when he said he was hanging out with the guys last ( Read more... )

okay. so like i said. i've been having a really tough time with life right now. i really dont know what to do. i feel like i'm losing my best friend, and that my family hates me. i feel like nobody cares anymore. i just dont feel loved. like this is so stupid but i really dont feel it anymore. i cant see it i cant hear it i cant feel it. i cant ( Read more... )

damn.

im so god damn lame.

i really hate life now

it used to be nice

oohhh but not now.

oh boy. soo i'm having a hard time these days. heres a secret i've been crying every single night since matt broke up with me.. christina said she could tell today so maybe i am way too desperate; i dont care. i miss him like CRAZY and i literally am going crazy. i dont like it at all and i want him back and ugh what did i do wrong what can i do to ( Read more... )

ahh. where to begin. okay so last friday was mine and matt's 6th month.. well monday he sorta broke up with me. but thats okay i guess im doing fine. i cried for a while and then i was like why am i crying? but then tuesday night i didnt do so well. i was going to sleep and i cried my damn heart out for at least 2 1/2 hours. i feel like a fgt but ( Read more... )

matt is coming over, were having a rough-ish time. just with me being on jv volleyball and cheer and work and him having work now, but at least his sister got a new car today so we can hang out. my thighs hurt like hell and i'm getting my period soon. i feel so damn light, i havent eaten anything really in a long time. ahh lightness. eff that shit ( Read more... )

so im leaving for algoma today.. woo the weekend. the beach is right down the street yeahh. i might go there all weekend. ill be bored out of my mind! so i love matt, and hes coming to see me before i leave tonigh.. seeing as he cant come with us.. eff damn parents.

ahh.
bye

i love matthew
i love life ♥
to an extent.

wow i havent updated this baby in a whileee.

so check out my myspace?

www.myspace.com/hothotheat_love/

comments?kbye.

♥