This is the first time that I can remember when I felt like I might be a suicide risk.

All I have to do is take my meds, and I will feel good enough to begin recovering myself from this place.

Simply taking my meds shouldn't be so hard to accomplish.

But it is.

Feeling pretty awful. Holiday blues? Depression heavier than usual? Too much French Revolution podcast?

I haven't truly despaired in a very long time, but this is despair.

Sometimes, it's easier for me to think he's still alive, and out there somewhere, living a good life that has nothing to do with me.

Woke up an hour ago. Night terrors and night sweats. Calmed myself by reading old entries from people I've known a long time  and still love.

I will try to sleep again....

I thought Adrian would appreciate this.

:)

I gleaned this little nugget from a radio commercial yesterday. It is my new favorite made-up word, and I encourage all to use it, and enjoy.

Ironicopia - (which is, of course, a cornucopia of ironies).

Bon appetit!

Those of you who know me well will understand why this is so absolutely amazing.

Dan and I always referred to him as "Gracie's Boyfriend", because he was always coming around to court her. She was resolutely unimpressed. It was Dan who first decided this brawny, gray, rough-and-tumble tomcat needed a name, and chose to call him after the Enterprise's most loathed first officer of all time. "Kind of studly...kind of ugly... ( Read more... )

warrenm has
very warm skin
when he sleeps

mmmmmmmmmmmm

also
his breath in my ear
snores charmingly

:)

Today's Haul

On DVD:
• Kenneth Branaugh's Hamlet
• Austin Powers: Goldmember

On VHS:
• Of Mice And Men (with the ever yummy John Malkovich*)
• Benny and Joon (more yumminess in the guise of Johnny Depp**)
• Black Adder's A Christmas Carol

Books:
• Better Homes and Garden's Window and Wall Ideas
• The Marquis de Sade's Justine

Since rediscovering the cool free stuff you ( Read more... )