A summary of a carribean cruise.
Yeah, look, daddy's little squirt is back on track (ja kusta lirahtanut joukkoon, ya know the drill)
Yes. I shall now stop mixing Fenno-Ugric with Anglo-Frisian.
Anyway. I guess I sounded a bit whiny in the post on the night prior to my departure. But lo and behold, I made it alive! I just got a bit nuttier, but it adds to my charm. I also managed not to butcher my mother, thanks to the knives being locked up somewhere very far from the former mental patient *smirk*
Anyway, it was by far the craziest week I've had for a while. Phew. My brain is still trying to register everything. It included numb toes ^^ and broken eardrums x__x
Lesbian encounters: one. This chick just...jumped me in the karaoke-bar, and she was hot! But then I saw the wedding ring .__.
Her: You're so much hotter than my husband!
Me: Riight...I'm outta here.. um, where's the door?
(Oh yes, there was also Sean and the man with the "thousand-dollar smile" *grins*)
I made only one poem-draft! W00t! So that is a sign of a good time, instead of moping in the corner with my paper and pen looking just a tad too worn for leaping off the ship in an act of desperation *eye-roll*
I met phantastic (misspelling intended) people, and had a Gore-gastic week. Yeah, I listened a lot to Martin Gore ----> Depeche Mode. New Year's eve went off with a slow start. I went into the first moments of double-oh-seven with the usual "girl-in-the-glass-cube"-shit. Then Roy smuggled me a couple double Vodka-Tonics (yeah, it sucks being 20 - you get denoted entering the US on the alcohol-law), and I got the edge off, and went and danced my ass off. I danced with Nate, a super-gorgeous guy whom I ended up having a weirded out philosophical discussion with. He was pouring crap on the table we were at and went "ok, so that's ketchup and that's mustard. I don't care.". A few glasses of water and a clean-up later we were suddenly all over each other. WoW. Oooohh, he nearly nailed me in the elevator, but we decided to sober up first, and go for the gold the next day.
I found him the next day, and he was by far more interested in the ship's casino than me (impotent or idiotic? Beats me. Hah.), so I thought "screw him", and went and won a karaoke contest instead .__. That brought me on stage to perform in a show in front of hundreds of people the next Saturday! I did Madonna's "Like a Virgin" (not picked by me), with gorgeous guys dancing around me, as I was dressed up in a curly wig and dolly (pink, uaacck) clothes. I figured I looked like a staff short of Little Bo-Beep or something.
Anyway, at the karaoke-joint I ran into random people, among them Richard and Sean, two stand-up comedians currently residing in Cali. I have a fun night, dancing my arse off once again at the disco. People walk up to me, commend me on my singing(/performing. I make it a big show when I'm up on a stage :D), and stand far away from me and my crazy dance moves. I actually even had people walking up to me afterward asking if I'm a professional dancer o_O the only dance-education I've ever took was two lessons of Riverdance when I was...umm, 14.
There were formal nights for me to wear my rock'n'roll mini-dress. Well anyway, it was a dress. And there was all the food you could eat, which got a bit complicated given me my condition and relation to food. There was also a lot of changing outfits for me, since I couldn't make up my mind. And, I wanted to wear everything I had brought with me, LoL.
Tuesday, I got out to see Costa Maya. Richard followed me, I lost my sunglasses. There was some simple Math [yes, it does deserve a capital letter] involved too, just for the pleasure (he's got a degree in Math, and he works on computers - yes, a fellow nerd! Allright!). I got a bottle of Controy since I thought that this way I could get a nice night cap. Of course the bastards took it away, only to give it back when we arrived. Fuckers. So...anyway. In the evening, there was more karaoke. Some dancing. And then a very electric encounter in Richard's cabin...hmm. Well, let's just say that during this week I made up for the 1,5 year-celibacy I'd had, and I sure ended it well. Haha. The downside of this is, that now that I reminded myself of the joy of carnal pleasures, I want more .__. This is not nice. *headdesk*
I didn't even feel like dancing afterward that night, since I got all that sexual charge out of my body for a moment. So I just walked around the ship for a while with my music, and then headed for the cabin. Of course my mother was drunk and in a talkative (and sliiightly annoying) mood, so I needed to tell her to shut it x-times, it was spoiling the mood.
I was all like "Man, I'm post-coital! I don't want my mother in my head!! o_O
Wednesday, Grand Gayman, Cayman islands. I slept. Then upon embarking I snatched some photos from the deck. The drill was the same that night: Dinner, karaoke, some dancing, sex.
Thursday, no sex. Just effing teasing -__O
Friday, I got off to see Jamaica. I took a photo of a dried flower which I thought to be fascinating, but can't identify. Will post a picture when I get back to Finland, maybe striped could help me out? There was a guy from the ship who invited me to go partying with him in the evening, and I said "maybe", but had something much better in mind. Besides, he was a bit too backwoods for my taste anyway.
There was also an indecent proposal from (apparently) another cruise-person.
Him: "Nice honkers, can I squeeze?"
Me: "At least you had the decency to ask first instead of just going for the gold, I'll give you that. But please get the fuck out of my face before I maul yours and we make this a dress party: You get a hospital gown, I get the law suit. Get lost!"
I also took a picture of a cuuute turtle! But the guy put it instantly back in the water so I didn't get to take another, better one. So I ended up with quite a bad shot.
Then, back to the ship, listening to Visage on my iPod. Oh yes, I found new, even better sunglasses to substitute the ones I lost in Mexico! Waaay cooler to say "I got them in Jamaica!" than "Nah. Local K-mart" (actually they were from Rotterdam which was cool enough, but you get the point).
Saturday: I receive my bottle of Controy! Goood...I could have a couple shots before the show. Incredibly enough, even if the effect faded well before I got on stage, I didn't feel more than just a faint pinch in my stomach! I was way more shook up on Monday at the karaoke bar. Jebus, my hands were shaking and and I wanted to jump off. And I had at least three big glasses of water straight after to calm me down. But Saturday, I was just rehearsing a bit and then I went and pulled it off, juuust like a winner should ;) Man I feel like a rock star \O/ (oh yeah, there were others too, and everybody had a professional dancer as your pair on the stage to "guide" you off in the right manner, and I got the gorgeous hunk, the others got chicks! Ha!).
Anyway, it was fun. And the rest of the night was more dancing again. And, again..this latino-woman whom I saw dancing just fine came up to me.. and asked me to show her how to dance(?!!). Jebus. You're a latino, you know your moves, you don't come up to me and ask me how to dance!
Hah, anyway. It was all in all a pretty remarkable week. And as I said, I survived. So did my mother, just to highlight that. Even if I did throw a couple autistic fits when she couldn't leave me alone or just SHUT it in the cabin, when all I wanted was some peace and quiet, sudoku, a beer and sleep.
Well. I'm heading home TOMORROW!! Finally! And I am reconsidering the thing about moving to the States for a year. I think 6000+ kilometers is just a fine distance to my mother. Just as 300 km's is good with my dad, grandparents and the rest of my family nut-tree. I can't wait til I get to move to Australia. Wow. Then there is both Asia between me and Europe, PLUS the Pacific AND South America between me and Florida. That seems like too good to be true.
Ok. I have three hours to pack and "sleep" before my refuge. Terrible trip ahead again....so...wish me luck....
Yes. I shall now stop mixing Fenno-Ugric with Anglo-Frisian.
Anyway. I guess I sounded a bit whiny in the post on the night prior to my departure. But lo and behold, I made it alive! I just got a bit nuttier, but it adds to my charm. I also managed not to butcher my mother, thanks to the knives being locked up somewhere very far from the former mental patient *smirk*
Anyway, it was by far the craziest week I've had for a while. Phew. My brain is still trying to register everything. It included numb toes ^^ and broken eardrums x__x
Lesbian encounters: one. This chick just...jumped me in the karaoke-bar, and she was hot! But then I saw the wedding ring .__.
Her: You're so much hotter than my husband!
Me: Riight...I'm outta here.. um, where's the door?
(Oh yes, there was also Sean and the man with the "thousand-dollar smile" *grins*)
I made only one poem-draft! W00t! So that is a sign of a good time, instead of moping in the corner with my paper and pen looking just a tad too worn for leaping off the ship in an act of desperation *eye-roll*
I met phantastic (misspelling intended) people, and had a Gore-gastic week. Yeah, I listened a lot to Martin Gore ----> Depeche Mode. New Year's eve went off with a slow start. I went into the first moments of double-oh-seven with the usual "girl-in-the-glass-cube"-shit. Then Roy smuggled me a couple double Vodka-Tonics (yeah, it sucks being 20 - you get denoted entering the US on the alcohol-law), and I got the edge off, and went and danced my ass off. I danced with Nate, a super-gorgeous guy whom I ended up having a weirded out philosophical discussion with. He was pouring crap on the table we were at and went "ok, so that's ketchup and that's mustard. I don't care.". A few glasses of water and a clean-up later we were suddenly all over each other. WoW. Oooohh, he nearly nailed me in the elevator, but we decided to sober up first, and go for the gold the next day.
I found him the next day, and he was by far more interested in the ship's casino than me (impotent or idiotic? Beats me. Hah.), so I thought "screw him", and went and won a karaoke contest instead .__. That brought me on stage to perform in a show in front of hundreds of people the next Saturday! I did Madonna's "Like a Virgin" (not picked by me), with gorgeous guys dancing around me, as I was dressed up in a curly wig and dolly (pink, uaacck) clothes. I figured I looked like a staff short of Little Bo-Beep or something.
Anyway, at the karaoke-joint I ran into random people, among them Richard and Sean, two stand-up comedians currently residing in Cali. I have a fun night, dancing my arse off once again at the disco. People walk up to me, commend me on my singing(/performing. I make it a big show when I'm up on a stage :D), and stand far away from me and my crazy dance moves. I actually even had people walking up to me afterward asking if I'm a professional dancer o_O the only dance-education I've ever took was two lessons of Riverdance when I was...umm, 14.
There were formal nights for me to wear my rock'n'roll mini-dress. Well anyway, it was a dress. And there was all the food you could eat, which got a bit complicated given me my condition and relation to food. There was also a lot of changing outfits for me, since I couldn't make up my mind. And, I wanted to wear everything I had brought with me, LoL.
Tuesday, I got out to see Costa Maya. Richard followed me, I lost my sunglasses. There was some simple Math [yes, it does deserve a capital letter] involved too, just for the pleasure (he's got a degree in Math, and he works on computers - yes, a fellow nerd! Allright!). I got a bottle of Controy since I thought that this way I could get a nice night cap. Of course the bastards took it away, only to give it back when we arrived. Fuckers. So...anyway. In the evening, there was more karaoke. Some dancing. And then a very electric encounter in Richard's cabin...hmm. Well, let's just say that during this week I made up for the 1,5 year-celibacy I'd had, and I sure ended it well. Haha. The downside of this is, that now that I reminded myself of the joy of carnal pleasures, I want more .__. This is not nice. *headdesk*
I didn't even feel like dancing afterward that night, since I got all that sexual charge out of my body for a moment. So I just walked around the ship for a while with my music, and then headed for the cabin. Of course my mother was drunk and in a talkative (and sliiightly annoying) mood, so I needed to tell her to shut it x-times, it was spoiling the mood.
I was all like "Man, I'm post-coital! I don't want my mother in my head!! o_O
Wednesday, Grand Gayman, Cayman islands. I slept. Then upon embarking I snatched some photos from the deck. The drill was the same that night: Dinner, karaoke, some dancing, sex.
Thursday, no sex. Just effing teasing -__O
Friday, I got off to see Jamaica. I took a photo of a dried flower which I thought to be fascinating, but can't identify. Will post a picture when I get back to Finland, maybe striped could help me out? There was a guy from the ship who invited me to go partying with him in the evening, and I said "maybe", but had something much better in mind. Besides, he was a bit too backwoods for my taste anyway.
There was also an indecent proposal from (apparently) another cruise-person.
Him: "Nice honkers, can I squeeze?"
Me: "At least you had the decency to ask first instead of just going for the gold, I'll give you that. But please get the fuck out of my face before I maul yours and we make this a dress party: You get a hospital gown, I get the law suit. Get lost!"
I also took a picture of a cuuute turtle! But the guy put it instantly back in the water so I didn't get to take another, better one. So I ended up with quite a bad shot.
Then, back to the ship, listening to Visage on my iPod. Oh yes, I found new, even better sunglasses to substitute the ones I lost in Mexico! Waaay cooler to say "I got them in Jamaica!" than "Nah. Local K-mart" (actually they were from Rotterdam which was cool enough, but you get the point).
Saturday: I receive my bottle of Controy! Goood...I could have a couple shots before the show. Incredibly enough, even if the effect faded well before I got on stage, I didn't feel more than just a faint pinch in my stomach! I was way more shook up on Monday at the karaoke bar. Jebus, my hands were shaking and and I wanted to jump off. And I had at least three big glasses of water straight after to calm me down. But Saturday, I was just rehearsing a bit and then I went and pulled it off, juuust like a winner should ;) Man I feel like a rock star \O/ (oh yeah, there were others too, and everybody had a professional dancer as your pair on the stage to "guide" you off in the right manner, and I got the gorgeous hunk, the others got chicks! Ha!).
Anyway, it was fun. And the rest of the night was more dancing again. And, again..this latino-woman whom I saw dancing just fine came up to me.. and asked me to show her how to dance(?!!). Jebus. You're a latino, you know your moves, you don't come up to me and ask me how to dance!
Hah, anyway. It was all in all a pretty remarkable week. And as I said, I survived. So did my mother, just to highlight that. Even if I did throw a couple autistic fits when she couldn't leave me alone or just SHUT it in the cabin, when all I wanted was some peace and quiet, sudoku, a beer and sleep.
Well. I'm heading home TOMORROW!! Finally! And I am reconsidering the thing about moving to the States for a year. I think 6000+ kilometers is just a fine distance to my mother. Just as 300 km's is good with my dad, grandparents and the rest of my family nut-tree. I can't wait til I get to move to Australia. Wow. Then there is both Asia between me and Europe, PLUS the Pacific AND South America between me and Florida. That seems like too good to be true.
Ok. I have three hours to pack and "sleep" before my refuge. Terrible trip ahead again....so...wish me luck....