(Untitled)

[oheyzeus]

'Tis the season, allegedly. I was walking down 5th when a child pointed at me and said, 'Look, Mommy, it's Santa Claus'. I don't think I resemble him so much, except around the beard area. Perhaps it had something to do with my red scarf and hat (a present from my delightful PR, Mandy

Comments

[blesseddeath]

You do not fit the profile for Santa Claus. That child would be greatly disappointed.

<3!

[oheyzeus]

I do not like to disappoint my children, Little Death.

Re: <3!

[blesseddeath]

Santa does not have children and cares for all the children in the world according to his story. I do not believe you are that generous.

[oheyzeus]

Oh, I am exceedingly generous, Makaria, I assure you. Have I not been kind to you?

[seepassion]

Dude, you totally have the right sort of beard for Santa Claus. Wrong color, but right beard. So, points for creative vision there.

Though, yeah. To be completely honest-like, Bossman? You'd be more like porno-Santa. So I'd be questioning the type of entertainment that this particular mother was allowing her child access to.

Seriously. We need to vet these people, Boss.

[oheyzeus]

Slightly alarming creative vision, all the same. Do I seem particularly paternal, Z?

And I have no problem being porno-Santa. To be otherwise would be a most profound lie, don't you agree?

How do you propose we undertaking the vetting process?

[seepassion]

I dunno. I mean, I'd call you Daddy.

I gotta admit, your belly isn't big on the jiggling like a bowl full of jelly. It's more ripply and well-defined. So there are some discrepancies from the original source material. So porno-Santa it'll have to be. He doesn't have belly jiggling problems.

Uh. Survey? Casting couch?

[oheyzeus]

And you can't know how touched I am about that, Z.

Casting couch, always. My ripply, well-defined abdomen demand it.

[delightindance]

I think it's because everyone knows you give the best presents, Daddy ♥

[pornpoet]

HURT.

[delightindance]

Why are you hurt? I don't like you being hurt.

[pornpoet]

My presents are pretty awesome.

[ouranology]

You're far too young and handsome to be Santa Claus, Daddy, but I guess in this day and age he would have to be spry to get all that work done.

Or at least into some crazy drugs.

[oheyzeus]

It's all one big hallucination, I'm sure of it. He's on some amazing drugs. I prefer to be more hands-on, I confess.

[ouranology]

Not surprising at all; Santa and Peewee Herman are probably really close and share decorating tips. (And we know you do. ♥ It should go on your business cards.)

[oxeyedqueen]

Of course you wouldn't object.