This is really good, the way you deal with all the elements in their relationship, their own different feelings and expectations about it, the way that their teammates are so disinterested but tolerant, and the recognition that the pressures on them because they are footballers make things more vivid between them. I really enjoyed it, thanks.
Thank you so much! I know nothing about this subject, yet it isn't unlikely that this kind of relationship ('liaison') exists out there. I've been interested in how all the people related - managers, directors, presidents, teammates and the couple themselves - would react. and you know what? actually this is the first time I write a fic in English(not my mother tongue) and let people other than my few friends read it, so to be honest I was bit nervous waiting for your comment showing up. now I feel relieved lol.
Very very beautiful. Your characterization of Esteban by proxy is very recognizable and reminds me of why he's always been the player I identify with the most. I recognize a lot of myself in that description.
It's somewhat enlightening and sad to read from another person's eyes (Gonzalo's). It breaks my heart in very familiar ways.
Same here! Esteban makes me think about myself than any other footballer I know. I may not have all the energy he has inside, but writing about him is always a joy in many ways. And Gonzalo, for me, he has some sensitiveness behind his chatty, fun-loving personality...which can provide an interesting voice. I tried to leave some signals that this dude in angst is still the pipita who loves odd jokes and talks a lot, haha. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :)
I'm not very good at commenting, but I just want to say that I enjoyed reading a lot. I haven't read a RPF in first person for quite some time and it's interesting to view a character so directly through another character's eyes. Your characterization rings true. When you mentioned the song, I looked it up on youtube and listened to it as soundtrack while reading. The sketch of the two singing it together is beautiful.
Yeah, I've seen few RPF in first person... maybe it's underrated? Being a big fan of first and even second person narrative, I wanted to take advantage of the point of view I chose. Great to hear that you enjoyed! The way you read it is just perfect haha. I listened to the song a lot writing the fic, so it is really part of the story in many ways. And it's such a great song. Every feedback is gold for me. Thank you so much!
Comments 6
Reply
I know nothing about this subject, yet it isn't unlikely that this kind of relationship ('liaison') exists out there. I've been interested in how all the people related - managers, directors, presidents, teammates and the couple themselves - would react.
and you know what? actually this is the first time I write a fic in English(not my mother tongue) and let people other than my few friends read it, so to be honest I was bit nervous waiting for your comment showing up. now I feel relieved lol.
Reply
It's somewhat enlightening and sad to read from another person's eyes (Gonzalo's). It breaks my heart in very familiar ways.
Thank you.
Reply
And Gonzalo, for me, he has some sensitiveness behind his chatty, fun-loving personality...which can provide an interesting voice. I tried to leave some signals that this dude in angst is still the pipita who loves odd jokes and talks a lot, haha.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :)
Reply
Reply
The way you read it is just perfect haha. I listened to the song a lot writing the fic, so it is really part of the story in many ways. And it's such a great song.
Every feedback is gold for me. Thank you so much!
Reply
Leave a comment