Fandoms 22 and 23.
Title: Boredom
Fandom: House M.D
Rating: G
Summary: House and Cuddy argue about his team.
“House!” Cuddy said, annoyed beyond belief (or at least, she could have been annoyed beyond belief if it weren’t for the fact that House did more annoying things than this on a regular basis.) “Take a case!”
“Why?” House asked, sounding cheerful.
“Because that’s why I pay your salary?”
“Not a good enough salary to make me take a mediocre case.”
“How about because your team are going insane with the boredom?” Cuddy suggested.
House looked through the glass into the office. In the room, Thirteen and Taub were very busy building a card house on the table. Foreman was trying to read while Chase prowled around the table and tried to make Thirteen and Taub jump and knock the cards over. As House and Cuddy watched, Chase suddenly roared, making both Thirteen and Taub jump at the same time, sending cards in all directions. Foreman looked up with a bellow of “WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?!” and Taub promptly muttered “He started it!” in the tone of a petulant child.
House turned back to Cuddy.
“I don’t see any difference,” he said and headed off to find Wilson.
Title: Speechless
Fandom: House M.D/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG
Summary: Kutner shares a memory from his University days.
It was one of the periods where House wasn’t showing interest in any cases and they were all sitting around in the office. In theory, there were a few cases that House could have been working on but he was arguing with Cuddy about something and therefore was sitting at the end of the table, looking serene and throwing his ball in the air. Foreman sat with a book, trying to look as serene as House. Thirteen and Taub were doing a crossword together and occasionally talking. Kutner was engrossed in his National Geographic magazine but cheerfully looking up and contributing every now and then.
Thirteen had slipped into reminiscences about college and House loudly bemoaned the lack of porn in her tale or “real human drama - aka the bit before the porn!” Thirteen was clearly considering throwing her pen at his face when Kutner looked up again and said “My university had lots of human drama but not much porn.”
“Then who cares? I’m trying to have a vicarious sex life through all of you,” House said promptly. “Don’t any of you have any exciting group sex stories to share?”
“Well, there was that time when my friends and I got turned into cavemen but we never had sex with anyone,” Kutner said thoughtfully.
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at him.
“Good thing too really,” Kutner said, apparently totally oblivious to the looks he was getting. “Bad enough having to deal with destroying the car and burning down the café. At least no one got hurt. Well, except for my friend who got hit by the car but he was a caveman so it was an accident really …”
“Sorry, could you go back a few steps in your story?” Taub asked gently. “Like say, explaining the part about being turned into a caveman?”
“Huh? Oh … Sunnydale University was a very strange place,” Kutner said cheerfully. “I transferred after that. That place was much more civilised. Mind you … most places were. Sunnydale was a very strange place in general. Quite a good thing it got swallowed up in a mysterious earthquake really … ”
He happily returned to his National Geographic, apparently totally unaware that he had left everyone in the room, including House, absolutely speechless.
Fandom: House M.D
Rating: G
Summary: House and Cuddy argue about his team.
“House!” Cuddy said, annoyed beyond belief (or at least, she could have been annoyed beyond belief if it weren’t for the fact that House did more annoying things than this on a regular basis.) “Take a case!”
“Why?” House asked, sounding cheerful.
“Because that’s why I pay your salary?”
“Not a good enough salary to make me take a mediocre case.”
“How about because your team are going insane with the boredom?” Cuddy suggested.
House looked through the glass into the office. In the room, Thirteen and Taub were very busy building a card house on the table. Foreman was trying to read while Chase prowled around the table and tried to make Thirteen and Taub jump and knock the cards over. As House and Cuddy watched, Chase suddenly roared, making both Thirteen and Taub jump at the same time, sending cards in all directions. Foreman looked up with a bellow of “WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?!” and Taub promptly muttered “He started it!” in the tone of a petulant child.
House turned back to Cuddy.
“I don’t see any difference,” he said and headed off to find Wilson.
Title: Speechless
Fandom: House M.D/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG
Summary: Kutner shares a memory from his University days.
It was one of the periods where House wasn’t showing interest in any cases and they were all sitting around in the office. In theory, there were a few cases that House could have been working on but he was arguing with Cuddy about something and therefore was sitting at the end of the table, looking serene and throwing his ball in the air. Foreman sat with a book, trying to look as serene as House. Thirteen and Taub were doing a crossword together and occasionally talking. Kutner was engrossed in his National Geographic magazine but cheerfully looking up and contributing every now and then.
Thirteen had slipped into reminiscences about college and House loudly bemoaned the lack of porn in her tale or “real human drama - aka the bit before the porn!” Thirteen was clearly considering throwing her pen at his face when Kutner looked up again and said “My university had lots of human drama but not much porn.”
“Then who cares? I’m trying to have a vicarious sex life through all of you,” House said promptly. “Don’t any of you have any exciting group sex stories to share?”
“Well, there was that time when my friends and I got turned into cavemen but we never had sex with anyone,” Kutner said thoughtfully.
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at him.
“Good thing too really,” Kutner said, apparently totally oblivious to the looks he was getting. “Bad enough having to deal with destroying the car and burning down the café. At least no one got hurt. Well, except for my friend who got hit by the car but he was a caveman so it was an accident really …”
“Sorry, could you go back a few steps in your story?” Taub asked gently. “Like say, explaining the part about being turned into a caveman?”
“Huh? Oh … Sunnydale University was a very strange place,” Kutner said cheerfully. “I transferred after that. That place was much more civilised. Mind you … most places were. Sunnydale was a very strange place in general. Quite a good thing it got swallowed up in a mysterious earthquake really … ”
He happily returned to his National Geographic, apparently totally unaware that he had left everyone in the room, including House, absolutely speechless.