Fandom 16
Title: Quaint Little Bookshop.
Fandom: Black Books/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Summary: The Doctor takes Peri into a bookshop.
Peri wasn’t really sure when the Doctor suggested they went for a “quiet walk.” Usually, quiet walks with the Doctor ended in running and screaming. But the Doctor insisted that this time, it would be totally different and wouldn’t let her stay in the TARDIS so she accepted it and walked along with him.
“See?” the Doctor said. “A nice little walk. What could be wrong with that?”
“I don’t even know where we are,” Peri said, trying not to sound too grumpy.
“Well neither do I, but who cares?” the Doctor said airily. “Oh look, there’s a book shop over there. Fancy a look inside?”
“Not really,” Peri said but the Doctor was already striding up to the shop and so she had to follow. The bookshop was apparently called “Black Books” which seemed a weird kind of name to her. The Doctor strode in like he always did and Peri followed. It wasn’t a very full bookshop. There was a man who appeared to be rearranging the shelves and humming to himself and another man sitting and a woman sharing glasses of wine. Peri thought it was a little early to be drinking but maybe in England, they had their own ideas about when you should drink.
“Ah, bookshops,” the Doctor said expansively. “I love the smell of them, you know. The mystery of a book you haven’t read yet. The happiness upon seeing a well-loved tome. The thrill of a book you’ve been looking for for a while! Nothing better Peri, nothing better.”
“Uh huh,” Peri said, running a finger over the table and trying not to wince. It was very dirty. The Doctor’s excitement was not contagious although she had a feeling this place would be good from a botanist’s standpoint. It looked like there was a lot of new species of fungus growing here.
“Honestly Peri, you could try to look a little excited,” the Doctor scolded. “Here you are in a lovely quaint little bookshop and all you can do is sulk!”
“I’m not sulking,” Peri muttered, moving around the table.
“Oh God,” she heard the dark haired man mutter with a strange accent. “An American and a traffic light are in my store. What did I do to deserve this?”
“Hey,” Peri said indignantly. “What’s wrong with being an American?”
“Nothing,” the dark haired man said, glaring at her. “Nothing, it’s lovely. I’m sure you’ll greatly enjoy talking to the quaint little men from Wales.”
“You’re not Welsh, you’re Irish,” the Doctor said. “What did you just say about me?”
“Oh for God’s sake,” the man growled. “Why are these people in my shop? It’s my shop! I can say anything I want! You look like a massive fat birthday cake with clashing colours!”
The Doctor began to turn purple, his mouth opening and shutting.
“And now your face clashes with your coat!” the man said triumphantly.
“Um, I think I might just … just go outside,” Peri said quickly. “I’ll be there when you’re um, done with the books!”
She darted out of the door just before the Doctor started to shriek “Fat birthday cake? Fat birthday cake?! FAT BIRTHDAY CAKE?!” A few moments later, the other man and the woman scurried out.
“Hi!” the man said. “I’m Manny! I thought you might like to, to be shown the interesting sights out here! While your friend is busy!”
“Yeah,” the woman said. “I’m Fran! Um, that’s the pub! Do you want to go in?”
“We can’t go in,” Manny said. “They said we couldn’t have The Incident.”
“Oh yeah,” Fran said. “Damn. And I left my wine in there.”
“I’m sure they won’t be long,” Peri said.
There was a crashing noise from inside the bookshop.
“Or maybe we could just pop into an off license,” Fran suggested.
When the Doctor eventually came out, he had a blossoming black eye and a very cross expression. Peri covered her mouth, trying not to giggle and he glared at her.
“Peri,” he said haughtily. “We are going back to the TARDIS now.”
“Don’t you want to see some more of quaint little England?” Peri asked.
The glare she got would have withered grass.
“Come along Peri,” he ordered her through gritted teeth.
Peri hid a grin and followed.
Fandom: Black Books/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Summary: The Doctor takes Peri into a bookshop.
Peri wasn’t really sure when the Doctor suggested they went for a “quiet walk.” Usually, quiet walks with the Doctor ended in running and screaming. But the Doctor insisted that this time, it would be totally different and wouldn’t let her stay in the TARDIS so she accepted it and walked along with him.
“See?” the Doctor said. “A nice little walk. What could be wrong with that?”
“I don’t even know where we are,” Peri said, trying not to sound too grumpy.
“Well neither do I, but who cares?” the Doctor said airily. “Oh look, there’s a book shop over there. Fancy a look inside?”
“Not really,” Peri said but the Doctor was already striding up to the shop and so she had to follow. The bookshop was apparently called “Black Books” which seemed a weird kind of name to her. The Doctor strode in like he always did and Peri followed. It wasn’t a very full bookshop. There was a man who appeared to be rearranging the shelves and humming to himself and another man sitting and a woman sharing glasses of wine. Peri thought it was a little early to be drinking but maybe in England, they had their own ideas about when you should drink.
“Ah, bookshops,” the Doctor said expansively. “I love the smell of them, you know. The mystery of a book you haven’t read yet. The happiness upon seeing a well-loved tome. The thrill of a book you’ve been looking for for a while! Nothing better Peri, nothing better.”
“Uh huh,” Peri said, running a finger over the table and trying not to wince. It was very dirty. The Doctor’s excitement was not contagious although she had a feeling this place would be good from a botanist’s standpoint. It looked like there was a lot of new species of fungus growing here.
“Honestly Peri, you could try to look a little excited,” the Doctor scolded. “Here you are in a lovely quaint little bookshop and all you can do is sulk!”
“I’m not sulking,” Peri muttered, moving around the table.
“Oh God,” she heard the dark haired man mutter with a strange accent. “An American and a traffic light are in my store. What did I do to deserve this?”
“Hey,” Peri said indignantly. “What’s wrong with being an American?”
“Nothing,” the dark haired man said, glaring at her. “Nothing, it’s lovely. I’m sure you’ll greatly enjoy talking to the quaint little men from Wales.”
“You’re not Welsh, you’re Irish,” the Doctor said. “What did you just say about me?”
“Oh for God’s sake,” the man growled. “Why are these people in my shop? It’s my shop! I can say anything I want! You look like a massive fat birthday cake with clashing colours!”
The Doctor began to turn purple, his mouth opening and shutting.
“And now your face clashes with your coat!” the man said triumphantly.
“Um, I think I might just … just go outside,” Peri said quickly. “I’ll be there when you’re um, done with the books!”
She darted out of the door just before the Doctor started to shriek “Fat birthday cake? Fat birthday cake?! FAT BIRTHDAY CAKE?!” A few moments later, the other man and the woman scurried out.
“Hi!” the man said. “I’m Manny! I thought you might like to, to be shown the interesting sights out here! While your friend is busy!”
“Yeah,” the woman said. “I’m Fran! Um, that’s the pub! Do you want to go in?”
“We can’t go in,” Manny said. “They said we couldn’t have The Incident.”
“Oh yeah,” Fran said. “Damn. And I left my wine in there.”
“I’m sure they won’t be long,” Peri said.
There was a crashing noise from inside the bookshop.
“Or maybe we could just pop into an off license,” Fran suggested.
When the Doctor eventually came out, he had a blossoming black eye and a very cross expression. Peri covered her mouth, trying not to giggle and he glared at her.
“Peri,” he said haughtily. “We are going back to the TARDIS now.”
“Don’t you want to see some more of quaint little England?” Peri asked.
The glare she got would have withered grass.
“Come along Peri,” he ordered her through gritted teeth.
Peri hid a grin and followed.