Fandom 20
Title: Travelling Companions
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Some people are just not natural travelling companions but they can muddle along together. Written for rushikayu13 who wanted to see what would happen if the Sixth Doctor, Turlough and Owen Harper travelled together.
“Did you hit me with that rock?!” the Doctor demanded.
Turlough stared at him, open-mouthed and slightly panicked. When he’d been told to kill the Doctor, he’d thought that it would actually work. Not that the Doctor’s face and body would blur and then he’d sit up and start shouting.
“You hit me with that rock!” the Doctor bellowed. “On the head!”
“I … yes?” Turlough tried not to whimper.
“Look what you did, you idiot! Now I’ve regenerated! This feels all wrong! What am I going to tell Tegan and Nyssa? Just because they’ve seen me regenerate before doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard to explain! Now, tell me, why did you hit me with that rock?”
“I … I … ”
“Oh never mind!” the Doctor dismissed him abruptly. “I can’t deal with this now! I have a transmat to deal with! Just don’t do it again!”
*
“How did you get in here?” the Doctor demanded.
“I walked in!” the man snapped back. “What is this place?”
“What is it?” the Doctor shouted. “What is it? What is it? You come on board and you don’t even know what it is?”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t ask,” the man said sourly.
Turlough watched this with some amusement. It was rather nice to see the Doctor laying into someone else rather than him. Tegan was watching too with less amusement but Turlough ignored her. She just didn’t seem to enjoy the fun in life.
“It’s a TARDIS,” the Doctor growled. “My TARDIS. So would you mind telling me exactly who you are and what you’re doing here?”
“It was an accident!” the man protested. “Although … you’re the Doctor, right?”
“Yes,” the Doctor said haughtily.
“I’m supposed to arrest you on sight, I think.”
The Doctor began to visibly swell. Turlough and Tegan exchanged looks and decided simultaneously that they wanted to be elsewhere. They were half way down the corridor before they heard the Doctor’s voice roar “ARREST ME!” and they sped up.
*
The man’s name was Owen Harper. Turlough never found out why he was supposed to arrest the Doctor on sight. The Doctor refused to talk about it. He also refused to take Owen home.
“I am a busy man,” he said smugly.
“Anyway, the TARDIS doesn’t work that way,” Turlough put in helpfully. “It never gets us where it is supposed to go.”
The Doctor gave him a haughty look.
“My TARDIS,” he said stiffly. “can get me anywhere that I want it to get me!”
Turlough snorted. He couldn’t help it. Tegan gave him her “Shut up now you idiot” look but Turlough ignored her. The Doctor was completely incapable of piloting the TARDIS most of the time and Turlough didn’t see why he could be polite about it. The Doctor’s eyes narrowed and he turned his back on Turlough and flipped the switches in a haughty way. Tegan gave Turlough a sharp nudge and glared at him. Turlough gave a sheepish shrug and Owen stared at them and raised his eyebrows.
*
“So,” Owen said in a friendly manner. “You two shagging or what?”
“What?” Turlough said blankly.
“You and Tegan,” Owen said patiently. “Are you at it?”
“No!” Turlough said indignantly.
“She and the Doctor at it then?”
“No!” Turlough said angrily.
“Hey, relax,” Owen said. “No need to get your knickers in a knot. He travels around with pretty girls all the time, it stands to reason that he’s boffing them.”
Turlough wasn’t quite sure why this remark made him as angry as he did. He was vaguely surprised to realise that he liked the Doctor, that he wanted people to appreciate that the Doctor was a good man. To have this Owen Harper slander him like that made him angry.
“The Doctor doesn’t do that,” he said.
“Bullshit,” Owen said. “Everyone does that. Even a shy little virgin like you - ”
Turlough punched him. Owen probably punched him back and the fight continued until the Doctor stalked in, landed the TARDIS on some snow-covered waste-land and hurled them outside. Half an hour later, he let them back in again, shivering and very, very quiet. Tegan fetched them both blankets and a cup of tea.
“You idiots,” she said.
“Bugger off,” Owen mumbled and Turlough had to agree with him.
*
“Why?” the Doctor demanded. “Why did she leave? They were only Daleks.”
He looked slightly pleadingly at Owen and Turlough, as though expecting them to have an answer. Neither of them said anything. Owen stared off into middle-distance, as though totally fascinated by the air. Turlough just stared at the console. The Doctor kept pacing, his coat sweeping around in a multicoloured swirl.
“It wasn’t like I was doing anything unreasonable!” he insisted.
“Women are odd like that,” Owen offered. “Sensitive, aren’t they?”
“Well, yes, yes they are,” the Doctor agreed. “But Tegan was always such a sensible girl. Why did she get so upset?”
Owen shrugged and looked at Turlough. Turlough looked away. He didn’t really want to help. To his surprise, he was sad that Tegan had left. She’d often annoyed him but now … now he was sad. But that would have only made the Doctor feel worse and Owen would probably have laughed so … it didn’t seem worth it somehow.
“I just don’t understand humans,” the Doctor said mournfully.
“Humans aren’t meant to be understood,” Turlough said.
“We’re not that bad,” Owen grumbled.
“Yes you are,” Turlough said promptly. “You’re worse than most!”
Owen snorted and turned away. The Doctor just gave a heavy sigh and put his hands in his pockets. Overall, Turlough wasn’t sure that he felt much better for scoring the point. Later on, when the Doctor had gone off to bed to mope, he sort of half-apologised, in his own way.
“Doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said. “Being hard to understand.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Owen said with a small grin. “I mean, it’s not like you make much sense, is it?”
*
“Doctor, can we please go home?” Turlough demanded.
“Shhhh,” the Doctor ordered. “I’m fishing! Fishing is good for the soul.”
“No, it isn’t,” Owen growled. “Fishing is the most boring, crappy sport in the whole world.”
“Fishing,” the Doctor said haughtily. “is one of the best sports in the world. Relaxing. You two should try it.”
Turlough and Owen both snorted at the same time, then gave each other filthy looks. The Doctor sighed. It was hard work putting up with two companions that hated each other but he was used to it by now. And when they had to, Turlough and Owen made an excellent team. It was only that the Doctor occasionally found himself wanting to kill them both.
“This is your fault,” he heard Turlough mumble to Owen. “Oh, lets find somewhere to relax for once, Doctor!”
“Shut the fuck up,” Owen said and the Doctor winced. Owen’s swearing really did get on his nerves. He’d threatened to wash the man’s mouth out with soap and water but Owen didn’t seem to think he’d go through with it. Maybe he ought to get round to it. In this regeneration, he was probably big enough to hold Owen Harper down and give his mouth a good soaping.
Once he’d finished his fishing.
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Some people are just not natural travelling companions but they can muddle along together. Written for rushikayu13 who wanted to see what would happen if the Sixth Doctor, Turlough and Owen Harper travelled together.
“Did you hit me with that rock?!” the Doctor demanded.
Turlough stared at him, open-mouthed and slightly panicked. When he’d been told to kill the Doctor, he’d thought that it would actually work. Not that the Doctor’s face and body would blur and then he’d sit up and start shouting.
“You hit me with that rock!” the Doctor bellowed. “On the head!”
“I … yes?” Turlough tried not to whimper.
“Look what you did, you idiot! Now I’ve regenerated! This feels all wrong! What am I going to tell Tegan and Nyssa? Just because they’ve seen me regenerate before doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard to explain! Now, tell me, why did you hit me with that rock?”
“I … I … ”
“Oh never mind!” the Doctor dismissed him abruptly. “I can’t deal with this now! I have a transmat to deal with! Just don’t do it again!”
*
“How did you get in here?” the Doctor demanded.
“I walked in!” the man snapped back. “What is this place?”
“What is it?” the Doctor shouted. “What is it? What is it? You come on board and you don’t even know what it is?”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t ask,” the man said sourly.
Turlough watched this with some amusement. It was rather nice to see the Doctor laying into someone else rather than him. Tegan was watching too with less amusement but Turlough ignored her. She just didn’t seem to enjoy the fun in life.
“It’s a TARDIS,” the Doctor growled. “My TARDIS. So would you mind telling me exactly who you are and what you’re doing here?”
“It was an accident!” the man protested. “Although … you’re the Doctor, right?”
“Yes,” the Doctor said haughtily.
“I’m supposed to arrest you on sight, I think.”
The Doctor began to visibly swell. Turlough and Tegan exchanged looks and decided simultaneously that they wanted to be elsewhere. They were half way down the corridor before they heard the Doctor’s voice roar “ARREST ME!” and they sped up.
*
The man’s name was Owen Harper. Turlough never found out why he was supposed to arrest the Doctor on sight. The Doctor refused to talk about it. He also refused to take Owen home.
“I am a busy man,” he said smugly.
“Anyway, the TARDIS doesn’t work that way,” Turlough put in helpfully. “It never gets us where it is supposed to go.”
The Doctor gave him a haughty look.
“My TARDIS,” he said stiffly. “can get me anywhere that I want it to get me!”
Turlough snorted. He couldn’t help it. Tegan gave him her “Shut up now you idiot” look but Turlough ignored her. The Doctor was completely incapable of piloting the TARDIS most of the time and Turlough didn’t see why he could be polite about it. The Doctor’s eyes narrowed and he turned his back on Turlough and flipped the switches in a haughty way. Tegan gave Turlough a sharp nudge and glared at him. Turlough gave a sheepish shrug and Owen stared at them and raised his eyebrows.
*
“So,” Owen said in a friendly manner. “You two shagging or what?”
“What?” Turlough said blankly.
“You and Tegan,” Owen said patiently. “Are you at it?”
“No!” Turlough said indignantly.
“She and the Doctor at it then?”
“No!” Turlough said angrily.
“Hey, relax,” Owen said. “No need to get your knickers in a knot. He travels around with pretty girls all the time, it stands to reason that he’s boffing them.”
Turlough wasn’t quite sure why this remark made him as angry as he did. He was vaguely surprised to realise that he liked the Doctor, that he wanted people to appreciate that the Doctor was a good man. To have this Owen Harper slander him like that made him angry.
“The Doctor doesn’t do that,” he said.
“Bullshit,” Owen said. “Everyone does that. Even a shy little virgin like you - ”
Turlough punched him. Owen probably punched him back and the fight continued until the Doctor stalked in, landed the TARDIS on some snow-covered waste-land and hurled them outside. Half an hour later, he let them back in again, shivering and very, very quiet. Tegan fetched them both blankets and a cup of tea.
“You idiots,” she said.
“Bugger off,” Owen mumbled and Turlough had to agree with him.
*
“Why?” the Doctor demanded. “Why did she leave? They were only Daleks.”
He looked slightly pleadingly at Owen and Turlough, as though expecting them to have an answer. Neither of them said anything. Owen stared off into middle-distance, as though totally fascinated by the air. Turlough just stared at the console. The Doctor kept pacing, his coat sweeping around in a multicoloured swirl.
“It wasn’t like I was doing anything unreasonable!” he insisted.
“Women are odd like that,” Owen offered. “Sensitive, aren’t they?”
“Well, yes, yes they are,” the Doctor agreed. “But Tegan was always such a sensible girl. Why did she get so upset?”
Owen shrugged and looked at Turlough. Turlough looked away. He didn’t really want to help. To his surprise, he was sad that Tegan had left. She’d often annoyed him but now … now he was sad. But that would have only made the Doctor feel worse and Owen would probably have laughed so … it didn’t seem worth it somehow.
“I just don’t understand humans,” the Doctor said mournfully.
“Humans aren’t meant to be understood,” Turlough said.
“We’re not that bad,” Owen grumbled.
“Yes you are,” Turlough said promptly. “You’re worse than most!”
Owen snorted and turned away. The Doctor just gave a heavy sigh and put his hands in his pockets. Overall, Turlough wasn’t sure that he felt much better for scoring the point. Later on, when the Doctor had gone off to bed to mope, he sort of half-apologised, in his own way.
“Doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said. “Being hard to understand.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Owen said with a small grin. “I mean, it’s not like you make much sense, is it?”
*
“Doctor, can we please go home?” Turlough demanded.
“Shhhh,” the Doctor ordered. “I’m fishing! Fishing is good for the soul.”
“No, it isn’t,” Owen growled. “Fishing is the most boring, crappy sport in the whole world.”
“Fishing,” the Doctor said haughtily. “is one of the best sports in the world. Relaxing. You two should try it.”
Turlough and Owen both snorted at the same time, then gave each other filthy looks. The Doctor sighed. It was hard work putting up with two companions that hated each other but he was used to it by now. And when they had to, Turlough and Owen made an excellent team. It was only that the Doctor occasionally found himself wanting to kill them both.
“This is your fault,” he heard Turlough mumble to Owen. “Oh, lets find somewhere to relax for once, Doctor!”
“Shut the fuck up,” Owen said and the Doctor winced. Owen’s swearing really did get on his nerves. He’d threatened to wash the man’s mouth out with soap and water but Owen didn’t seem to think he’d go through with it. Maybe he ought to get round to it. In this regeneration, he was probably big enough to hold Owen Harper down and give his mouth a good soaping.
Once he’d finished his fishing.