I'm not dead, just sloooow.
Title: Keep Your Eye on the Prize
Theme: Set 4 #14 Ball
Claim: Zoro x Nami
Words: 3,913
Rating: G-ish
Warnings: Very vague spoiler for Zoro's Water 7 filler episode. Nothing much else other than some silliness and some unresolvedness at the end. There will be a fourth part though. Someday.
Disclaimer(s): If I owned the characters, the story wouldn't be nearly as epic as Oda makes it. I'm just borrowing.
A/N: Part 3 of "Zoro Needs a Hobby."
"Golf?" Zoro eyed the navigator skeptically. "Are you really serious?"
"What? It's a sport."
"Well, yeah, I guess," Zoro conceded, "but wasn't the idea to find me a hobby I can do anywhere? I don't have any of the equipment, and I think this place may have the only course in the New World."
"I just think you ought to give it a shot." Nami flopped down into a vacant chair at the tavern table where Zoro was seated. She acted like she didn't really care one way or the other, but Zoro narrowed his eyes at her.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with that, would it?" He cocked his head toward a poster on the wall advertising an annual amateur tournament at the island's course. The prize was a respectable amount of beli.
"Maybe a little," Nami admitted, "but can you blame me for not wanting to turn down easy money? Worst case scenario, I'd be out the entry fee and the cost of renting some clubs, and that's really just a drop in the bucket compared to what you already owe me."
"You do know I'm never going to be able to pay up, right?" Nami just smirked at him. "What makes you think this would be such 'easy money,' anyhow? I've never touched a golf club in my life, and my long distance depth perception is a little... off."
"That's why you have me!" She grinned smugly. "This game is all about calculating trajectories based on distance, terrain, and wind patterns, and that's a piece of cake for me. All you have to do is listen to me and hit a ball with a stick! We may have to work a little on the first part of that, but I'm pretty sure you can handle the second."
Zoro rolled his eyes. "I've been cooperating with you, haven't I?"
"You have been very well behaved," Nami mused. "Did you suddenly get a lot more patient?"
"At least you don't enforce compliance with hollows," Zoro grumbled under his breath.
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
"So, what do you say to giving golfing a try?"
Zoro was taking so long to mull it over, Nami was sure he was going to refuse, but then he replied, "I guess I haven't got anything better to do."
"Great! Let's go; we'll want you to get in a little bit of practice before the tournament." She stood up and started for the door.
"But," Zoro's voice stated, halting her, "I have a request."
This was certainly a twist she hadn't expected! She was almost afraid to ask, but how bad could it really be? "Yes?"
"Obviously, we're doing this for the money because there's no reason to enter a competition if you don't want to win, but can you act like we're doing this for fun? In other words, I'd prefer it if you didn't mention the prize again until the end. Think you can manage that?"
"That's it?" Nami scoffed. She'd been worried about that? "Of course I can manage that!" What did he take her for? Yeah, she liked money, but it wasn't like it was the only thing she ever thought about!
"All right." Zoro nodded decisively and stood to join her.
It was a rather odd request, but she shrugged off her curiosity; there was prize money to be won.
***
They stopped by the course's pro shop to rent a bag of clubs, and then they headed for the driving range. The range faced the large ridge running down the center of the island. The grass here was less groomed than that of the course itself, and tattered flags marked the distance in fifty yard increments. Nami set a ball on a tee in font of Zoro and handed him the driver. The man in the pro shop had already gone over the basics of the swing with him.
"I want you to hit that as hard as you can," Nami instructed.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Zoro protested.
"Just do it! I need to see what we're working with here."
Zoro shrugged and took a few practise swings before lining himself up for the shot. The club connected with a loud thwack, and the ball soared out of sight--all the way over the ridge!
Elsewhere, a wealthy resident gaped at the golf ball lying in the middle of his salon, having crashed through his picture window from seemingly nowhere. Wasn't the golf course on the other side of the island?
Nami blinked and closed her mouth, realizing she'd been gaping. "Okay... On second thought, you're going to need to take it down a few notches. Could you try that again at maybe half power?"
"It's not that easy," Zoro grumbled. "I don't have a power dial that I can just turn down! I don't think about the amount of force I'm using in terms of percentages; I just look at what the situation at hand calls for and let it happen."
Nami considered that for a moment. "So, if I gave you a scenario to think about, would that help?"
"It's worth a shot, I suppose."
"Okay..." Nami thought some more and then snapped her fingers. "Got it! Hit the ball like you're having one of your fights with Sanji."
"You're going to have to be more specific," Zoro insisted. At first, she thought he might actually be joking, but he seemed to be serious.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, who started it, and how long have we been fighting?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Only everything!" Zoro scoffed, rolling his eye as though this should have been extremely obvious. "It's all about escalation. The starting blow is always the weakest, and it ramps up from there."
"Good grief." It was Nami's turn to roll her eyes. "Only you two could turn petty squabbling into something so complicated!" Zoro was still looking at her expectantly, so she gave it a little more thought. "Okay, I've got a new scenario. Luffy just rocketed you into something and thought it was funny."
Zoro shrugged and squared up to the ball again. The ball still went pretty far.
"Clearly you did not think it was funny," Nami quipped.
"I never really do," Zoro admitted, shaking his head slightly, but he also wore a small smile as he thought about their unusual captain. "Besides, Luffy's rubber; he can take it."
"We really need to figure something out for shorter range shots," Nami mused aloud. "How about this? Chopper is choking on something, and you give him a slap on the back to dislodge it." Zoro was unlikely to ever admit to it, but he had a soft spot for the crew's doctor. Sure enough, the ball went a much shorter distance but still farther than she expected. "I suppose he can take it, too?"
"Don't pretend you haven't noticed that Chopper's gotten a lot tougher. We all have." Zoro smirked at her. There was a roundabout compliment in there, so she grinned back.
"I have a feeling putting is going to be the most difficult thing for you."
Sure enough, when they moved on to the putting green, Zoro was consistently hitting the ball too hard, causing it to skip over the hole. Fortunately, his aim was actually pretty good, so it was just a matter of toning down the strength a bit more.
"Gently, I said." Nami was about ready to scream in frustration.
"That was gentle!"
"There's got to be some way to get through to you." Nami scowled at an equally grumpy Zoro and tried to think of something that most anyone would handle carefully. "Puppies!" she blurted.
"What about them?" Zoro was looking at her like she was crazy.
"You wouldn't hit a puppy, would you?"
"That depends. Is it my puppy?" Nami looked absolutely apalled. "Relax." Zoro rolled his eyes. "I was joking. No, I wouldn't hit a puppy. I might flick it on the nose or something, but I wouldn't hit it."
"All right then, you come across a puppy chewing on one of your swords-" Nami stopped mid-sentence as it was Zoro's turn to look horrified. "Boots," she ammended quickly, "I meant one of your boots!"
"Why aren't I wearing my boot?"
"That's beside the point! There's a puppy chewing on it, so flick his nose!"
"Fine! Sheesh..." Zoro tapped the ball, and they watched it roll toward the hole, perching on the lip for an endless moment before it dropped into the cup. "I did it!" Zoro blinked and then grinned at Nami.
"Finally!" Nami couldn't help smiling back. He looked like a little kid that had just finished showing off something like tying his shoes or riding a bike for the first time. It was terribly ridiculous and a little disturbingly cute. "Okay, now let's try it again, from even closer."
"Closer?" Zoro was scowling again. "What am I handling more carefully than a puppy? Kittens?"
"How about a baby?" Nami proposed. "You're burping a cranky baby."
"What makes you think I know anything about babies at all?" Nami gave him a pointed look. "Stupid Robin," Zoro groused.
Nami retrieved the ball and set it down a short distance from the cup. "Show me how gently you'd burp a baby."
"That depends." Zoro was looking at her out of the corner of his eye, the edges of his mouth twitching in a effort not to smirk. "Is it my baby?"
"Stop being annoying on purpose!" Nami scolded him. "You do that quite enough already!"
"I'm just saying," Zoro defended teasingly, "that any offspring of mine are bound to inherent some higher than average resilience, that's all."
"Pretend it's my baby, and I'll beat your face in if you hurt it."
"Please." Zoro snorted. "Your kids'll be born tough as nails and charging interest."
"Fine. It's a random baby with no backstory that isn't ours!" Nami bit her lip when she realized that sounded a bit wrong. "I meant, of course, that the imaginary baby isn't either of ours and certainly not both."
"Of course." Zoro cleared his throat awkwardly. "I knew what you meant."
Now, Nami couldn't help but think about it just a little. Would green hair be more dominant than her own red? She looked over at Zoro, only to see him staring off into space with a thoughtful frown she was sure mirrored her own. Against her better judgement, she gave in to curiosity.
"Are you imagining what our kid might look like?" she asked. There was an obvious, unspoken "too."
"Sort of," Zoro admitted. "I was just thinking any girls better look more like you because I ain't exactly pretty."
The mental image his comment sparked had Nami laughing so hard she could feel tears at the corners of her eyes.
"Oi." Zoro seemed less than amused, but she was certain that was only because he couldn't see it.
"I was just picturing a little girl with your grumpy face!"
"At least I wouldn't have to worry about beating the boys off with a stick." Zoro maintained his frown, but his eye had an amused twinkle.
"If the looks didn't frighten them all off, she'd probably be super bossy, too," Nami added. As if to prove her point, after taking a moment to compose herself, she pointed back to the ball. "Now, burp the normal baby."
Zoro gently tapped the ball, and it rolled into the cup.
"Great." Nami nodded approvingly. "I want you to practice a little more here while I go get us signed up for the tournament."
"I'm surprised you didn't do that already."
"What? I wasn't going to force you to do this." Zoro looked at her skeptically. "Okay, maybe I would have, but I wanted to be sure we stood a chance before forking over the registration fee."
As Nami was about to enter the club house, a man stepped out of the shadows.
"Excuse me, Miss," he hailed her casually, "but I saw you and your friend at the driving range earlier. I take it you're entering the tournament?" He waited for an acknowledging nod. "I was wondering if I might interest you in a side arrangement? I promise it would be well worth your time."
The situation practically reeked with the possibility of easy money. Nami glanced back toward the putting green, which was visible from where she stood. Zoro was obediently practicing as she'd asked. There was no harm in hearing the man out, right? Zoro never even needed to know.
"I'm listening, but make it quick."
"The owner of the course is the one who puts up the prize for the tournament," the man began, "and he always enters as well. He has yet to lose and actually have to pay out the prize money, and his bragging has become rather insufferable. Your man over there shows impressive, if rather raw, talent, and your main opponent won't be expecting it. I'm willing to sweeten the pot with an extra 300,000 beli, if you make certain you beat him, by any means."
Nami would only be lying to herself if she said the extra money wasn't appealing, but even if she hadn't promised Zoro she wouldn't focus on the prize alone, she knew he would never forgive her if there were any cheating involved.
"Thanks for the offer, but 'my man over there' only plays an honest game."
"I see." He didn't sound like he was really convinced she was serious. "Please consider it a standing proposal." Then he disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.
***
Zoro was paired with the course owner in a draw Nami was entirely certain had been orchestrated by the man who propositioned her earlier. She decided to ignore the situation, since she hadn't accepted the deal anyway, and went about things as she would have no matter who the other competitor in their group was. She was acting as Zoro's caddie, and at the start of each hole, she and Zoro would take a look at the course diagram and brainstorm every shot. The system was working surprisingly well, and Zoro was only a stroke behind as they started on the seventeenth hole.
Nami happened to glance to the side and noticed the man from before. He subtly signaled her that he wished to speak again. Zoro was busy watching the course owner prepare to take his second stroke, and Nami headed over, fully intending to tell the man off once and for all. She joined him in a small cluster of trees just off the fairway.
"We're still not taking you up on your offer," Nami informed him curtly.
"It's probably just as well," the man informed her, "since the conditions have changed. You recall the original terms were payment upon the owner's loss?" Nami nodded. She had a bad feeling about where this was going. "He's much less squeamish than you are about using less than fair means to win. I've been offered a substantial incentive to ensure he wins again this year. Rather than resorting to other trickery, I thought I would offer you a portion of my payment in exchange for taking a fall."
"Not happening," Nami refused bluntly. "My friend may be disgusted by the idea of cheating to win, but he'd hate losing on purpose even more."
"He wouldn't have to know," the man countered. "I've seen how you plan out each hole. It would be simple enough to give him incorrect instructions."
The idea of just not telling Zoro was uncomfortably close to her justification to listening to the first offer, but she couldn't sabotage Zoro like that; he'd never forgive her.
"Like I told you before, no deal."
"Very well." To his credit, the stranger did seem genuinely disappointed. "Do remember the opportunity was offered." He shrugged and headed back up onto the fairway.
Nami waited a few moments before following and was startled to find Zoro leaning against the other side of a tree.
"Like you told him before?" he asked. His tone and expression were both too neutral not to be intentionally so. "He made you another offer, but you didn't think I needed to know about it?"
"Why should I have to tell you?" Nami countered. "I didn't take the offer, and you said you didn't want to talk about the money part of things."
"You didn't take it, but you thought about it, didn't you." It wasn't even a question.
"No." Why did she suddenly feel so defensive? She didn't take it! Shouldn't that count for something? "I didn't even have to think about it once I knew what it was."
"But you were willing to listen to the offer," Zoro argued. "That means you were considering taking the deal without knowing what it was." The cool and collected mask was slipping, an undertone of anger seeping into the swordsman's words. "I suppose I'm just supposed to let it slide because the money wasn't good enough this time to make you break your word?"
"If I recall," Nami snapped back, "the deal was that I wouldn't talk about the money, and I didn't. You wanted me to pretend to be having fun. I think I was doing a pretty good job until just now." She didn't really mean that, but it hurt that he was so quick to believe she'd turn her back on him for a little extra money.
"If it's such a burden," Zoro snarled, all pretense of calm now gone, "I won't bother you with it anymore. After this, we're done. You don't have to waste your precious time on me." He stalked back over to the others.
Nami followed close behind him, but she didn't try to speak with him again. Zoro had taken that a lot worse than she thought he would! They'd have to work it out later because she didn't want to have that conversation so publicly.
On the green, the course owner just missed one of his putts, bringing the score between him and Zoro to a tie. Zoro's opponent did not look at all pleased until the man who kept offering Nami deals whispered something to him.
"What do you say we play the last hole without help from our caddies?" he asked in a sly tone.
"Fine by me." Zoro hadn't so much as glanced over at Nami before answering. For the briefest of moments, she worried that he might throw the match just to spite her, but this was Zoro. If he lost, it wouldn't be for lack of effort!
The eighteenth hole was a long straight shot to the green. The distance was broken down into two shots by most golfers, but Nami knew Zoro could easily make it in one. She knew exactly how she would have coached him, given the opportunity, but now she had to just stand by and watch.
Zoro took a moment to study the listed distance to the green, and Nami could only hope he was estimating the force required in a similar fashion to herself. He squared up to the ball, and Nami bit her lower lip to keep from calling out to him to adjust his aim. There was a breeze from the left; normally, she would have brought it up right away, but Zoro was on his own. She let out a relieved breath she hadn't realized she was holding when Zoro paused and readjusted for the wind. He swung confidently and everyone watched the ball sail through the air, land on the green a short distance from the pin, and roll into the cup and out of sight.
The course owner, his caddie, and his associate gaped. Nami wanted to cheer, but Zoro's own expression was still a stony glare, so she restrained herself. He returned his club to the bag and turned to the course owner.
"Looks like I'm done here. You can discuss whatever else you need to with her." He gestured to Nami, still without looking at her, and then just walked away.
Nami let him go, deciding that letting him cool off for a bit would go a long way toward smoothing things over between them. In the meantime, Zoro had won the competition fair and square.
"About that prize money..."
***
When she got back to the ship, Nami was surprised to learn from Robin that Zoro had arrived back before her. He was up in the crow's nest gym, lifting weights with a mechanical precision she couldn't remember seeing since before the crew reunited. He didn't acknowledge her presence at all, and she hovered uncomfortably, halfway through the trapdoor.
"I subtracted the entry and rental fees from the total, but this is your half of the prize money." She set down a bag near the hatch. He didn't even blink, and she was so certain she'd get some kind of response for being generous enough to give him half! "Did you hear me?" she asked after a few moments of heavy silence.
"I heard you." His response was by no means loud, but she almost jumped at the unexpected sound. "You really think I care about the money?"
To be honest, she couldn't really think of any other reason for him to be angry, and hadn't that been the one thing he'd been insistent about at the beginning of this whole golfing fiasco?
"I meant what I said before." Zoro's voice cut into her musing. "I'm done with this whole hobby thing. I got by just fine without one before, and it isn't worth all the trouble." He set down his barbell with a clunk and turned to the trap door. "You mind letting me out?"
She scrambled up the rest of the way into the gym, and he scooped up the offered bag and brushed past her, disappearing down the ladder. She sat staring mutely at the trapdoor for a few moments. Over that time her rather hurt confusion changed into annoyed determination. Zoro might think this was over, but she wasn't done yet!
Theme: Set 4 #14 Ball
Claim: Zoro x Nami
Words: 3,913
Rating: G-ish
Warnings: Very vague spoiler for Zoro's Water 7 filler episode. Nothing much else other than some silliness and some unresolvedness at the end. There will be a fourth part though. Someday.
Disclaimer(s): If I owned the characters, the story wouldn't be nearly as epic as Oda makes it. I'm just borrowing.
A/N: Part 3 of "Zoro Needs a Hobby."
"Golf?" Zoro eyed the navigator skeptically. "Are you really serious?"
"What? It's a sport."
"Well, yeah, I guess," Zoro conceded, "but wasn't the idea to find me a hobby I can do anywhere? I don't have any of the equipment, and I think this place may have the only course in the New World."
"I just think you ought to give it a shot." Nami flopped down into a vacant chair at the tavern table where Zoro was seated. She acted like she didn't really care one way or the other, but Zoro narrowed his eyes at her.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with that, would it?" He cocked his head toward a poster on the wall advertising an annual amateur tournament at the island's course. The prize was a respectable amount of beli.
"Maybe a little," Nami admitted, "but can you blame me for not wanting to turn down easy money? Worst case scenario, I'd be out the entry fee and the cost of renting some clubs, and that's really just a drop in the bucket compared to what you already owe me."
"You do know I'm never going to be able to pay up, right?" Nami just smirked at him. "What makes you think this would be such 'easy money,' anyhow? I've never touched a golf club in my life, and my long distance depth perception is a little... off."
"That's why you have me!" She grinned smugly. "This game is all about calculating trajectories based on distance, terrain, and wind patterns, and that's a piece of cake for me. All you have to do is listen to me and hit a ball with a stick! We may have to work a little on the first part of that, but I'm pretty sure you can handle the second."
Zoro rolled his eyes. "I've been cooperating with you, haven't I?"
"You have been very well behaved," Nami mused. "Did you suddenly get a lot more patient?"
"At least you don't enforce compliance with hollows," Zoro grumbled under his breath.
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
"So, what do you say to giving golfing a try?"
Zoro was taking so long to mull it over, Nami was sure he was going to refuse, but then he replied, "I guess I haven't got anything better to do."
"Great! Let's go; we'll want you to get in a little bit of practice before the tournament." She stood up and started for the door.
"But," Zoro's voice stated, halting her, "I have a request."
This was certainly a twist she hadn't expected! She was almost afraid to ask, but how bad could it really be? "Yes?"
"Obviously, we're doing this for the money because there's no reason to enter a competition if you don't want to win, but can you act like we're doing this for fun? In other words, I'd prefer it if you didn't mention the prize again until the end. Think you can manage that?"
"That's it?" Nami scoffed. She'd been worried about that? "Of course I can manage that!" What did he take her for? Yeah, she liked money, but it wasn't like it was the only thing she ever thought about!
"All right." Zoro nodded decisively and stood to join her.
It was a rather odd request, but she shrugged off her curiosity; there was prize money to be won.
***
They stopped by the course's pro shop to rent a bag of clubs, and then they headed for the driving range. The range faced the large ridge running down the center of the island. The grass here was less groomed than that of the course itself, and tattered flags marked the distance in fifty yard increments. Nami set a ball on a tee in font of Zoro and handed him the driver. The man in the pro shop had already gone over the basics of the swing with him.
"I want you to hit that as hard as you can," Nami instructed.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Zoro protested.
"Just do it! I need to see what we're working with here."
Zoro shrugged and took a few practise swings before lining himself up for the shot. The club connected with a loud thwack, and the ball soared out of sight--all the way over the ridge!
Elsewhere, a wealthy resident gaped at the golf ball lying in the middle of his salon, having crashed through his picture window from seemingly nowhere. Wasn't the golf course on the other side of the island?
Nami blinked and closed her mouth, realizing she'd been gaping. "Okay... On second thought, you're going to need to take it down a few notches. Could you try that again at maybe half power?"
"It's not that easy," Zoro grumbled. "I don't have a power dial that I can just turn down! I don't think about the amount of force I'm using in terms of percentages; I just look at what the situation at hand calls for and let it happen."
Nami considered that for a moment. "So, if I gave you a scenario to think about, would that help?"
"It's worth a shot, I suppose."
"Okay..." Nami thought some more and then snapped her fingers. "Got it! Hit the ball like you're having one of your fights with Sanji."
"You're going to have to be more specific," Zoro insisted. At first, she thought he might actually be joking, but he seemed to be serious.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, who started it, and how long have we been fighting?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Only everything!" Zoro scoffed, rolling his eye as though this should have been extremely obvious. "It's all about escalation. The starting blow is always the weakest, and it ramps up from there."
"Good grief." It was Nami's turn to roll her eyes. "Only you two could turn petty squabbling into something so complicated!" Zoro was still looking at her expectantly, so she gave it a little more thought. "Okay, I've got a new scenario. Luffy just rocketed you into something and thought it was funny."
Zoro shrugged and squared up to the ball again. The ball still went pretty far.
"Clearly you did not think it was funny," Nami quipped.
"I never really do," Zoro admitted, shaking his head slightly, but he also wore a small smile as he thought about their unusual captain. "Besides, Luffy's rubber; he can take it."
"We really need to figure something out for shorter range shots," Nami mused aloud. "How about this? Chopper is choking on something, and you give him a slap on the back to dislodge it." Zoro was unlikely to ever admit to it, but he had a soft spot for the crew's doctor. Sure enough, the ball went a much shorter distance but still farther than she expected. "I suppose he can take it, too?"
"Don't pretend you haven't noticed that Chopper's gotten a lot tougher. We all have." Zoro smirked at her. There was a roundabout compliment in there, so she grinned back.
"I have a feeling putting is going to be the most difficult thing for you."
Sure enough, when they moved on to the putting green, Zoro was consistently hitting the ball too hard, causing it to skip over the hole. Fortunately, his aim was actually pretty good, so it was just a matter of toning down the strength a bit more.
"Gently, I said." Nami was about ready to scream in frustration.
"That was gentle!"
"There's got to be some way to get through to you." Nami scowled at an equally grumpy Zoro and tried to think of something that most anyone would handle carefully. "Puppies!" she blurted.
"What about them?" Zoro was looking at her like she was crazy.
"You wouldn't hit a puppy, would you?"
"That depends. Is it my puppy?" Nami looked absolutely apalled. "Relax." Zoro rolled his eyes. "I was joking. No, I wouldn't hit a puppy. I might flick it on the nose or something, but I wouldn't hit it."
"All right then, you come across a puppy chewing on one of your swords-" Nami stopped mid-sentence as it was Zoro's turn to look horrified. "Boots," she ammended quickly, "I meant one of your boots!"
"Why aren't I wearing my boot?"
"That's beside the point! There's a puppy chewing on it, so flick his nose!"
"Fine! Sheesh..." Zoro tapped the ball, and they watched it roll toward the hole, perching on the lip for an endless moment before it dropped into the cup. "I did it!" Zoro blinked and then grinned at Nami.
"Finally!" Nami couldn't help smiling back. He looked like a little kid that had just finished showing off something like tying his shoes or riding a bike for the first time. It was terribly ridiculous and a little disturbingly cute. "Okay, now let's try it again, from even closer."
"Closer?" Zoro was scowling again. "What am I handling more carefully than a puppy? Kittens?"
"How about a baby?" Nami proposed. "You're burping a cranky baby."
"What makes you think I know anything about babies at all?" Nami gave him a pointed look. "Stupid Robin," Zoro groused.
Nami retrieved the ball and set it down a short distance from the cup. "Show me how gently you'd burp a baby."
"That depends." Zoro was looking at her out of the corner of his eye, the edges of his mouth twitching in a effort not to smirk. "Is it my baby?"
"Stop being annoying on purpose!" Nami scolded him. "You do that quite enough already!"
"I'm just saying," Zoro defended teasingly, "that any offspring of mine are bound to inherent some higher than average resilience, that's all."
"Pretend it's my baby, and I'll beat your face in if you hurt it."
"Please." Zoro snorted. "Your kids'll be born tough as nails and charging interest."
"Fine. It's a random baby with no backstory that isn't ours!" Nami bit her lip when she realized that sounded a bit wrong. "I meant, of course, that the imaginary baby isn't either of ours and certainly not both."
"Of course." Zoro cleared his throat awkwardly. "I knew what you meant."
Now, Nami couldn't help but think about it just a little. Would green hair be more dominant than her own red? She looked over at Zoro, only to see him staring off into space with a thoughtful frown she was sure mirrored her own. Against her better judgement, she gave in to curiosity.
"Are you imagining what our kid might look like?" she asked. There was an obvious, unspoken "too."
"Sort of," Zoro admitted. "I was just thinking any girls better look more like you because I ain't exactly pretty."
The mental image his comment sparked had Nami laughing so hard she could feel tears at the corners of her eyes.
"Oi." Zoro seemed less than amused, but she was certain that was only because he couldn't see it.
"I was just picturing a little girl with your grumpy face!"
"At least I wouldn't have to worry about beating the boys off with a stick." Zoro maintained his frown, but his eye had an amused twinkle.
"If the looks didn't frighten them all off, she'd probably be super bossy, too," Nami added. As if to prove her point, after taking a moment to compose herself, she pointed back to the ball. "Now, burp the normal baby."
Zoro gently tapped the ball, and it rolled into the cup.
"Great." Nami nodded approvingly. "I want you to practice a little more here while I go get us signed up for the tournament."
"I'm surprised you didn't do that already."
"What? I wasn't going to force you to do this." Zoro looked at her skeptically. "Okay, maybe I would have, but I wanted to be sure we stood a chance before forking over the registration fee."
As Nami was about to enter the club house, a man stepped out of the shadows.
"Excuse me, Miss," he hailed her casually, "but I saw you and your friend at the driving range earlier. I take it you're entering the tournament?" He waited for an acknowledging nod. "I was wondering if I might interest you in a side arrangement? I promise it would be well worth your time."
The situation practically reeked with the possibility of easy money. Nami glanced back toward the putting green, which was visible from where she stood. Zoro was obediently practicing as she'd asked. There was no harm in hearing the man out, right? Zoro never even needed to know.
"I'm listening, but make it quick."
"The owner of the course is the one who puts up the prize for the tournament," the man began, "and he always enters as well. He has yet to lose and actually have to pay out the prize money, and his bragging has become rather insufferable. Your man over there shows impressive, if rather raw, talent, and your main opponent won't be expecting it. I'm willing to sweeten the pot with an extra 300,000 beli, if you make certain you beat him, by any means."
Nami would only be lying to herself if she said the extra money wasn't appealing, but even if she hadn't promised Zoro she wouldn't focus on the prize alone, she knew he would never forgive her if there were any cheating involved.
"Thanks for the offer, but 'my man over there' only plays an honest game."
"I see." He didn't sound like he was really convinced she was serious. "Please consider it a standing proposal." Then he disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.
***
Zoro was paired with the course owner in a draw Nami was entirely certain had been orchestrated by the man who propositioned her earlier. She decided to ignore the situation, since she hadn't accepted the deal anyway, and went about things as she would have no matter who the other competitor in their group was. She was acting as Zoro's caddie, and at the start of each hole, she and Zoro would take a look at the course diagram and brainstorm every shot. The system was working surprisingly well, and Zoro was only a stroke behind as they started on the seventeenth hole.
Nami happened to glance to the side and noticed the man from before. He subtly signaled her that he wished to speak again. Zoro was busy watching the course owner prepare to take his second stroke, and Nami headed over, fully intending to tell the man off once and for all. She joined him in a small cluster of trees just off the fairway.
"We're still not taking you up on your offer," Nami informed him curtly.
"It's probably just as well," the man informed her, "since the conditions have changed. You recall the original terms were payment upon the owner's loss?" Nami nodded. She had a bad feeling about where this was going. "He's much less squeamish than you are about using less than fair means to win. I've been offered a substantial incentive to ensure he wins again this year. Rather than resorting to other trickery, I thought I would offer you a portion of my payment in exchange for taking a fall."
"Not happening," Nami refused bluntly. "My friend may be disgusted by the idea of cheating to win, but he'd hate losing on purpose even more."
"He wouldn't have to know," the man countered. "I've seen how you plan out each hole. It would be simple enough to give him incorrect instructions."
The idea of just not telling Zoro was uncomfortably close to her justification to listening to the first offer, but she couldn't sabotage Zoro like that; he'd never forgive her.
"Like I told you before, no deal."
"Very well." To his credit, the stranger did seem genuinely disappointed. "Do remember the opportunity was offered." He shrugged and headed back up onto the fairway.
Nami waited a few moments before following and was startled to find Zoro leaning against the other side of a tree.
"Like you told him before?" he asked. His tone and expression were both too neutral not to be intentionally so. "He made you another offer, but you didn't think I needed to know about it?"
"Why should I have to tell you?" Nami countered. "I didn't take the offer, and you said you didn't want to talk about the money part of things."
"You didn't take it, but you thought about it, didn't you." It wasn't even a question.
"No." Why did she suddenly feel so defensive? She didn't take it! Shouldn't that count for something? "I didn't even have to think about it once I knew what it was."
"But you were willing to listen to the offer," Zoro argued. "That means you were considering taking the deal without knowing what it was." The cool and collected mask was slipping, an undertone of anger seeping into the swordsman's words. "I suppose I'm just supposed to let it slide because the money wasn't good enough this time to make you break your word?"
"If I recall," Nami snapped back, "the deal was that I wouldn't talk about the money, and I didn't. You wanted me to pretend to be having fun. I think I was doing a pretty good job until just now." She didn't really mean that, but it hurt that he was so quick to believe she'd turn her back on him for a little extra money.
"If it's such a burden," Zoro snarled, all pretense of calm now gone, "I won't bother you with it anymore. After this, we're done. You don't have to waste your precious time on me." He stalked back over to the others.
Nami followed close behind him, but she didn't try to speak with him again. Zoro had taken that a lot worse than she thought he would! They'd have to work it out later because she didn't want to have that conversation so publicly.
On the green, the course owner just missed one of his putts, bringing the score between him and Zoro to a tie. Zoro's opponent did not look at all pleased until the man who kept offering Nami deals whispered something to him.
"What do you say we play the last hole without help from our caddies?" he asked in a sly tone.
"Fine by me." Zoro hadn't so much as glanced over at Nami before answering. For the briefest of moments, she worried that he might throw the match just to spite her, but this was Zoro. If he lost, it wouldn't be for lack of effort!
The eighteenth hole was a long straight shot to the green. The distance was broken down into two shots by most golfers, but Nami knew Zoro could easily make it in one. She knew exactly how she would have coached him, given the opportunity, but now she had to just stand by and watch.
Zoro took a moment to study the listed distance to the green, and Nami could only hope he was estimating the force required in a similar fashion to herself. He squared up to the ball, and Nami bit her lower lip to keep from calling out to him to adjust his aim. There was a breeze from the left; normally, she would have brought it up right away, but Zoro was on his own. She let out a relieved breath she hadn't realized she was holding when Zoro paused and readjusted for the wind. He swung confidently and everyone watched the ball sail through the air, land on the green a short distance from the pin, and roll into the cup and out of sight.
The course owner, his caddie, and his associate gaped. Nami wanted to cheer, but Zoro's own expression was still a stony glare, so she restrained herself. He returned his club to the bag and turned to the course owner.
"Looks like I'm done here. You can discuss whatever else you need to with her." He gestured to Nami, still without looking at her, and then just walked away.
Nami let him go, deciding that letting him cool off for a bit would go a long way toward smoothing things over between them. In the meantime, Zoro had won the competition fair and square.
"About that prize money..."
***
When she got back to the ship, Nami was surprised to learn from Robin that Zoro had arrived back before her. He was up in the crow's nest gym, lifting weights with a mechanical precision she couldn't remember seeing since before the crew reunited. He didn't acknowledge her presence at all, and she hovered uncomfortably, halfway through the trapdoor.
"I subtracted the entry and rental fees from the total, but this is your half of the prize money." She set down a bag near the hatch. He didn't even blink, and she was so certain she'd get some kind of response for being generous enough to give him half! "Did you hear me?" she asked after a few moments of heavy silence.
"I heard you." His response was by no means loud, but she almost jumped at the unexpected sound. "You really think I care about the money?"
To be honest, she couldn't really think of any other reason for him to be angry, and hadn't that been the one thing he'd been insistent about at the beginning of this whole golfing fiasco?
"I meant what I said before." Zoro's voice cut into her musing. "I'm done with this whole hobby thing. I got by just fine without one before, and it isn't worth all the trouble." He set down his barbell with a clunk and turned to the trap door. "You mind letting me out?"
She scrambled up the rest of the way into the gym, and he scooped up the offered bag and brushed past her, disappearing down the ladder. She sat staring mutely at the trapdoor for a few moments. Over that time her rather hurt confusion changed into annoyed determination. Zoro might think this was over, but she wasn't done yet!