Keep Me Close- Chapter VIII
Team: San Jose Sharks
Pairing: Joe Thornton/Evgeni Nabokov
Rating: PG-13 for language, alcohol and major angst
Note: (Hopefully) all of the spelling mistakes are intentional, and are there to show accents and to differentiate the characters. And marriages and girlfriends are non-existent for the main characters.
Summary: Not all in San Jose is sunny as the path to the Stanley Cup proves to be as difficult as ever, falling in love might be the simplest task on this year’s agenda.
Editor: brylinmoygyeroy
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
Disclaimer: Completely fictional story for non-fictional people and I don’t own Jack’s Bar & Grill. It is a real bar near San Jose in which I have no connection to whatsoever.
Chapter VIII
The quiet words brought a shine into Joe’s eyes. “Yeah,” He bit the inside of his cheek, “Then I'll see ya in the morning.”
He turned around and began his trek back to his car as he heard Evgeni do the same. He sat at the wheel unmoving, and the largest smile broke out on his face, genuine and happy; for himself, for Evgeni, and for the small step forward that they had taken together.
-----
The morning and afternoon passed in a blur.
Joe invited Evgeni over around eleven, logically saying that he lived closer to the rink. Evgeni arrived equipped with a nervous smile and his hockey bag for later. Something was different about the Russian, and Joe took a minute to figure out what it was.
He asked if he had shaved, and the other nodded. Joe remembered the smile that adorned both of their faces.
He showed off his Xbox 360 proudly. Then, shoving a controller into the hands of the confused man, he grabbed a controller of his own.
“It’s called fun, ya should try it sometime.”
“These ahre for childrhen, Joe.”
With a beaming face, Joe replied, “Good, I don’t want to grow up yet.”
Eventually Evgeni sat down and watched a solo game of Halo III. That led to him playing a round against Joe reluctantly. But in the end, Evgeni happily won thirteen of the seventeen games they played against one another.
Joe managed to restrain himself from chucking his controller out the fourth story window several times. He stopped himself after the tenth tantrum when he noticed realized how hungry he was.
They sat at the kitchen counter in a comfortable silence, stuffing their faces with Joe’s meticulously prepared sandwiches.
-----
Joe pulled into the HP Pavilion parking lot first and remained at the back entrance until his friend stepped out of the black Mercedes that parked next to his shortly after. He joined Joe at the door and they walked in together.
Evgeni lagged behind when they entered the locker room filled with Sharks and Shark hopefuls. Joe smiled to his teammates and the new faces in the crowd. They returned the gesture before someone noticed the man standing in Joe’s large shadow.
Devin was the first to approach Evgeni, followed closely by Patrick. One of the new defensemen, Brad Lukowich, came up and slung an arm around the bewildered goaltender while Ryane dragged Joe the other way by his bicep.
He brought Joe up to a smug looking Torrey and began raving about… something. Joe could not quite remember. When he looked over his shoulder, he saw that Evgeni was talking with Devin, Patrick and a smiling Brad. The sight calmed Joe and he half-listened to the rest of Ryane’s complaints.
-----
Joe saw the relief spread over Evgeni’s face when it was announced that McLellan would not be there.
-----
Training passed by quickly: a few tests here, take your weight, a few tests there, pee in a cup, and soon Joe was stepping into the locker room shower next to Evgeni.
He caught the man by surprise and the goaltender jumped in his spot. Asking how Evgeni thought training went, he thoroughly enjoyed the water pounding into his chest. Evgeni only shrugged, saying that it was training and was not supposed to be particularly thrilling anyways.
He said a few other things, but Joe was preoccupied with watching the delicate spray land on Evgeni’s skin like dew drops, thankful that he did not bother to wipe them away this time.
They finished up their showers and Joe asked if Evgeni wanted to get a drink with him after training.
The answer he received was a smile and a mumbled ‘sure’.
-----
Players surrounded Joe after he swung his bag over his shoulder and headed towards the door. A jumble of words barraged him from every direction.
Jonathon was yelling about some bet he owed him, Milan was repeating something funny one of the trainers had said earlier, while Jeremy wanted to know if he wanted to head out to a bar. The veteran’s question deflated some of the rookies behind him who wanted to ask the same thing.
Looking over the heads of the crowd, Joe caught sight of Evgeni packing up his bag silently. No one asked if he wanted to hang out, or any questions at all. No one was even looking in his direction, let alone talking to him, as he blended into the background.
Joe frowned and peered down at the faces that surrounded him and then pushed through the sea of people. Stepping up to the man that everyone had forgotten, Joe asked if he was ready to go. Evgeni nodded after a pause, glancing to the people that Joe had left behind.
They walked out the back door together without turning back once.
-----
As Joe sat in his car waiting for Evgeni to get into his own, he thought about last night. How could he have come to HP Pavilion without resentful feelings because of the memories that lingered there?
Strangely enough, he had not even thought about last night until that moment. It angered him, and it filled him with such dark feelings that he could not even begin to describe. But he could not place his foul feelings with the building of their happenings. The demons would not penetrate the love for the place that held his very life and dreams.
By the way Evgeni was smiling when he pulled up next to Joe, he was sure the goaltender felt the same way.
-----
Suddenly, it was eight twenty-seven, and Joe found himself parking his car in front of Jack’s Bar & Grill.
The bar was mildly crowded with people drinking their day’s problems away. Stu served cup of Jack Daniels before Joe and a vodka martini before Evgeni. They raised glasses to each other, and took the first swig of their respected drinks.
“It was nice to see the guys without, ya know, being scared shitless.” Joe offered when he placed his glass down on his folded napkin.
Evgeni chuckled, setting his glass down as well and rubbed his fingers into his closed eyes. “Yeah… It was nhice… seehing them, that is.”
Joe caught a glimpse of the man beside him out of the corner of his eye; the light-hearted words were not reflected on his face. He seemed to be contemplating something over in his head; his thoughts elsewhere than with Joe.
He turned, watching Evgeni raise the glass to his lips to let the martini slide down his throat. Scrunching his eyes when he swallowed, he shook his head and huffed out a long breath.
Looking back down at his own drink which was still moderately full, Joe felt curiosity waft over him like a sudden aroma. It was subtle, but it enticed Joe and pulled him closer, tempting him to find out more.
He took his glass in his left hand and emptied it in one gulp. The fire stung his eyes, but he felt so light. The power of the alcohol was all consuming and allowed Joe to ask the question that had been nagging at the back of his mind for some time now.
“Is there something wrong?” Joe whispered as he turned to Evgeni.
The man shifted away, playing with a loose string on his shirt and taking another sip of his drink. The bar suddenly seemed louder, the music pulsing in Joe’s ears in time with his heartbeat. He closed his eyes, and through the melody of noises, Evgeni’s quickened breathing could be heard.
There was a strangled sound that left Evgeni, but he paused before he could say anything more. A hollow ‘clunk’ indicated that the vodka martini had been drained almost fully.
More silence followed and Joe kept his eyes shut. Evgeni’s shaky voice finally broke through the fog that settled between them.
“… Nhothing that’s fhixable,” he whispered back meekly.
The words cut into Joe’s heart and he swallowed, his dry throat contracting with the movement. When he opened his eyes, he saw the man empty his glass and wave Stu over for another.
‘Nhothing that’s fhixable.’
That sat heavily on Joe’s shoulders and weighed him down. The comment was offhanded but spoke so loudly to him. Evgeni was miserable: Joe assumed it before, but… well at the very least, the fact the Evgeni confessed that something was bothering him meant that there was one more brick removed, and one more step forward.
Not that it made Joe feel any better.
As soon as the second martini arrived, the Russian tried to snatch the stem, but his clumsy, drunken fingers hit his emptied glass, knocking it over with a clatter.
Stu did not scold the man, but rather picked up the overturned glass gingerly. He nodded to Joe’s drink as well, silently asking if he wanted another. Joe shook his head sadly, and the bartender left just as Evgeni began quaffing down more alcohol.
‘Nhothing that’s fhixable.”
Worried, Joe sat dumbly, watching his friend fill himself with the burning liquid in order to numb himself from the chaotic world around him. But Joe remained still, uncertain of what he could offer to help Evgeni besides his patience.
He sat on the sidelines, observing the scene that played out in front of him. The bar was full of jovial people spending the last of their day’s hours with other jovial people.
A woman broke out in a large smile when a dark-skinned man approached her, kissed her cheek and embraced her in a warm hug. A group of friends laughed and giggled with each other, the shortest of the girls being dragged to the middle of the dance floor.
Even Stu found a happy niche, leaning over the bar’s counter when a pretty lady with blond hair tucked behind her ears stood on the other side. He propped his chin on his curved fingers and waggled his brow suggestively. A proud gleam entered his eye when he wiped a hand on the towel that was tucked into the back of his pants and rested his palm on his wife’s pregnant belly.
Life spread throughout the room, escalating in volume and filling to the brim, ready to burst. The feeling was contagious, but Joe stopped short and the feeling died.
Evgeni sat next to Joe in the middle of the rambunctious room, his back to the occupants-the occupants who left their troubles out the door and decided to live, and laugh, and love with the other people there. Evgeni sat next to Joe, breaking silently, oblivious to the cheer around him.
-----
The more alcohol Evgeni consumed, the more melancholy he became. Even after his fourth sip, Joe could tell the signs of tipsiness. Joe so far had only had a glass, but from the way Evgeni kept downing his third drink, he was not planning on having anymore.
Staring at the empty glass in his hands and swirling the ice around, Joe listened intently to the drunken words coming from Evgeni’s mouth.
“Mmm Joe… Iya h-haven’t said thanks… soh thanks… fer ever’thing,” Evgeni mumbled as he swayed his body from side to side on the bar stool.
“Its fine, so no worries yeah? The year is gonna be fine, you’ll see,” the sober man reassured, plucking an ice cube from his glass in popping it into his mouth.
But Evgeni shook his head. “Nononono; f-fer bheing my fhriend...Iya didn’t h-have mhany friends lhast year… and lhast Mhay d-dhidn’t help.” He coughed out a laugh and gulped down more of his drink, effectively emptying its contents.
Joe squint his eyes in confusion. “What happened last May? I thought we were over the playoff thing… and didn’t ya go play for Russia and win the gold?” Joe asked slowly, his mind a blur of memories, trying to place what Evgeni was talking about.
The Russian placed his drink on the counter and leaned his forehead against it. He whined in the back of his throat. “N-nhot whut Iya am t-talking about.” He brought his head up and swiveled on his seat, finally calling out when he saw Stu. “G-ghet me a-ahnother!”
Stu turned around and pointed to the empty cup. The Russian nodded sloppily, but Joe put up a halting hand and waved off the order. The bartender nodded to Joe and turned back around to his wife with whom he was talking earlier.
Evgeni’s sudden voice startled Joe, when he began slurring again. “ ’M sohrry, too,” he grumbled unhappily when his glass remained empty.
Joe looked up in question, wordlessly asking for elaboration.
“Ya know… fer bheing so, ah, h-helpless.”
Bumping his shoulder against Evgeni’s in comfort, Joe pursed his lips together in thought. “What do ya mean?” he asked, his mind still flying in every direction, trying to piece together what the other was slipping out because of his currently loose tongue.
The tipsy man veered to the left and almost into Joe before righting himself in his seat. He laughed humorlessly, wiping at his eyes with a sleeve. “Y-ya theenk Iya was alhways l-like this?” He laughed again, “H-how annoyhing!”
Evgeni slammed his palms on the counter, disturbing the delicate glasses and surprising Joe with the sudden movement. “You theenk Iya a-am this self-centerhed bhastard who c-can’t mhake friends, so Iya complhain and whine a-all thee time! Rhight?” he hissed accusingly, glowering at Joe with unfocused eyes.
He slumped and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Bhecause t-that is how y-you should theenk!…That’s h-how Iya theenk Iya h-have turned out to bhe… Iya whasn’t like t-this lhast year.”
He leaned close to Joe, indicating that he edge closer as well with his hand. Joe obeyed, the onslaught of Evgeni’s emotions drowning his brain and putting him in a confused haze.
All other thoughts eluded Joe, and when he saw the hand, he moved accordingly without complaint, but when Evgeni’s nose bumped gracelessly into the groves of his ear, Joe snapped back to alertness. Evgeni licked his trembling lips slowly, letting the organ wet his mouth completely before attempting to speak.
He cupped a fumbling hand over his mouth and Joe’s ear, as if they were not sitting in a loud bar which paid no mind as to what the two men were talking about. When he whispered, puffs of air laden with alcohol tickled over Joe’s face and into his nostrils.
“A-and Iya rheally dhon’t l-like who Iya have bhecome.”
Joe’s mouth was dry; he put another ice cube in his mouth. He had so many questions, but he was not able to voice any of them.
Evgeni shook his head, scoffing quietly to himself. He moved his hands to rest on his thighs, which caused him to hunch his shoulders and curl his spine forward. Joe waited when neither man opted to talk first.
They sat, completely and utterly involved with them, apart from everything else. For all Joe knew, the teammates could have been the only people actually there, physically and mentally aware of their lives, past and future, but only existing in the present.
Joe tasted the musky air on his tongue as he felt his lungs expand when it entered his chest. The oxygen swirled throughout his body and he released a breath of air back out through his parted lips.
The prickling of the music danced across his skin like a rapid heartbeat. The remixed song was horrid to the ears but somehow intriguing to listen to as well.
Evgeni reeked of alcohol, his breath sunk into his clothing and hung in the air; it entered Joe’s nose and made him light-headed. Everything that was that moment collided into the man, causing life to swell within him.
And all he was doing was staring at Evgeni, who was staring brokenheartedly back.
Joe’s throat was dry when he spoke again, and his words come out scratchy. “Who… who have you become?”
Evgeni shook his head and rested it on his hand, gazing down at the wooden counter top. “I-Iya dhon’t know… a-a stranger Iya ghuess.” He bit into his bottom lip mercilessly between his teeth and squeezed his eyes, a tear leaking through.
He growled with frustration, wiping at his blotchy face with a hand. “UGH, a-and now Iya am fhucking c-crhying aghain! I-Iya am so s-sick of this!”
He wobbled uneasily in his seat and lurched sideways with a groan. He swatted at his drink uselessly, tipping it over as he was pulled down to the floor. Joe gasped and lunged over before Evgeni hit the ground.
He caught the drunken man around the middle by leaning awkwardly to the side with his right foot planted firmly on the floor. Evgeni meanwhile slumped dangerously horizontal, the side of his face lying on the counter. The only thing keeping him from crashing to the ground was Joe. Shifting in the strong arms, Evgeni squirmed with discomfort, and Joe could feel the contraction of the muscles and the slide of skin even through the layers of clothing.
The man gurgled quietly and Joe bit the inside of his cheek, nuzzling his scruffy face into the back of Evgeni’s pressed shirt. His own eyes stung with restrained tears for the pain that his friend was feeling. He hugged the cold body closer to him. Evgeni’s fluttering heartbeat pounded under Joe’s ear while rapid breaths passed through his clenched teeth.
Joe righted Evgeni with care, placing a tentative hand on the quivering back. He laid his cheek against the counter, level with Evgeni’s watery stare, and spoke gently. “It hurts me to see you like this.”
Clamping his eyes shut, Evgeni turned away from Joe and buried his nose into the counter. The excess martini from his spilled glass seeped into his skin and hair.
“Iya wish y-you dhidn’t have to,” Evgeni whispered for only Joe to hear.
He opened his mouth, but then Stu came rushing over, far too soon in his opinion.
He pulled Evgeni away from the counter; his right arm was protectively enveloping the dirty head and he rested his cheek on the hair. Stu cleaned off the sticky bar with a swipe of his ratty towel. Joe lowered the head back onto the counter.
Turning to look Evgeni in the eye, Joe found that Evgeni had fallen fast asleep. That had disappointed Joe, but also relieved him as well. He wanted to know more, but Evgeni looked so peaceful when he slept.
Stu’s eyes skirted over the blank face with worry evident in his eyes, although he kept his schooled features. Joe knew the man quite well, he was the regular bartender who listened and talked to Joe because he was Joe, not Joe Thornton. They had met roughly two years ago, and Joe had come to this particular bar ever since.
They shared a friendly bond, and Joe knew the kindly man was trustworthy.
He petted Evgeni’s mop of wild hair before sitting up straight on his stool and looking Stu in the eye. “Can I leave my car with you fer tonight?” he asked, already standing up to leave.
“Of course,” Stu nodded without hesitation, “Cathy can take it.” Joe looked over to the woman; she held a hand to her mouth but nodded eagerly when she heard he husband’s request.
“Thank you,” Joe muttered as he looped an arm around Evgeni’s waist and struggled to take his first step. Stu came around and stood on the other side, helping Joe shuffle back to Evgeni’s car parked on the sidewalk.
The bustling crowd had thinned down to a few stragglers. They were too drunk for their own good to notice the three men stagger out of the bar anyways.
Stu buckled Evgeni into the passenger seat as Joe started up the car. When the bartender finished, he walked around to the driver’s side. Joe rolled down the tinted window and handed him the keys to his car. He chuckled unenthusiastically, “Don’t scratch her up, yeah?”
“No worries Joe, I’m a professional valet for tonight.”
Joe smiled, “I thought you’re wife was gonna drive, I think I trust her more than you.”
Stu grinned as well and peeked through the open window at the snoozing man, slumped against the window. “Just… keep him safe, okay?”
“Of course I will,” Joe stated firmly, looking Stu directly in the eyes.
-----
Driving through the silent streets of San Jose, Joe cranked up the heater full-blast and sighed when his chilly body melted with the warm air. Seeing no obstructions or turns in his path, Joe glimpsed at the man in the passenger seat.
Strips of light flew over his face when they passed under neon signs and apartments of people still awake at one in the morning. He was curled on the seat, his left leg pulled up to his chest while his right lay at an awkward angle on the floor.
“I’ll be waiting fer when yer ready to talk.”
Joe reached over with his right hand and placed it where the neck and shoulder met. He rubbed his thumb deep into the muscle. Sighing heavily, he looked back to the road ahead of him.