(Untitled)

[sp_oil_ed]

Title: Shades of Grey
Author: Kaitie of

Comments

[bkm5191]

oh I like this, these lines especially: They both like it rough, and the emotion of the afternoon discussion gives it an extra edge. Both draw blood and neither is sorry and

traces the teeth marks on Dustin’s back and feels a twinge of regret. Not for the marks, because he sports a matching se going into He tries not to feel hurt when Dustin shrugs off his touch because that is an awesome way of looking at it, the marks you take and the ones you reject. really great.

[sp_oil_ed]

Thanks so much! Hey, you wrote Sleep out every night, didn't you? Write more Morios, my best friend and I love that story!

[x_jerseygirl]

This was good! I like your vocab and..I don't know. This is something I would write, so I like it. :P

One little thing; occasionally, I felt like you had thoughts that weren't tied together (I can't really pick out specific spots right now, but I just felt it didn't flow as well as you could make it flow). But other than that, I really liked it, especially because you made it work with little dialogue, and that's a feat in itself. :)

[5against1]

Thanks so much for the feedback! I can see what you're saying about the flow; I'll work on that next time. Glad you liked it! :D