THE FEAR OF BEING FOUND (02/??)
Title: The Fear of Being Found (02/??)
Authors: geekintehpink and champagnexkiss.
Fandom: NHL > Boston Bruins
Characters: Milan Lucic (written by champagnexkiss) / David Krejci (written by geekintehpink)
Word Count: 2,397
Rating: PG13.
Author's Note: Part two of what we decided is going to be a season long endeavor. *flails*
Continued from: HERE
I have been a world apart, stuck in between time.
Head into the ground, I'm found; falling through fault lines.
I feel see through. Can you see through me?
Could I change one thing? Could I change your mind?
Shall we burn it just like the last time?
I can't change a thing, can't explain why I never felt it
Not even the first time.
“Maybe not enough to feed a team, but...” David laughed, and watched as Milan hesitated to take the bottle of liquor from between them. He usually wasn't shy when it came to the booze, but...there was a slight trepidation in him this time. “You know, I picked this out for the both of us...that's why I didn't get the beer that you asked for...” he grabbed Milan's glass and filled it up for him, handing it over to him. He downed his glass in nearly a half-second, and finished all but one slice of his pizza. He glanced up at the TV, at Matt Damon and George Clooney, and realized that, no, they weren't his type at all. His type? Was...sitting next to him. On his bed. He felt a bit of red rising to his cheeks.
“It's enough to feed one hungry hockey player,” Milan smirked, reaching over and grabbing the last remaining slice, eating it happily. He washed it down with the glass David gave him and sighed happily. “I'm not usually up for hard liquor but after tonight, we need it.” He watched the movie for a minute. “You know what's so awesome about Matt Damon's character in this?” he looked over at David, swallowing the last bit of pizza. “From the outside, he's this totally innocent guy. And then he gets all badass, robbing a casino. Then at the end, he's back to the cute baby-faced guy. Like..he's something you don't expect him to be.” Sure, his thinking wasn't eloquent when he was sober, probably even more messed up after a few drinks.
David laughed aloud as he watched Milan steal his last slice of pizza, and shook his head in amusement. He bit his lip and shook his head. “Oh, I don't mean to, like, force you to drink or whatever. I'm sorry...” he spoke awkwardly, the blush on his face deepening. He bit his lip even harder at Milan's description of Matt Damon, as that was pretty much the idea that he got of him. “That's pretty perceptive...” he chuckled a bit and thought a little more about it. The look of Milan, although he was big and tough, was that he wouldn't hurt a flea. But get the guy out onto the ice, and it was all business. And it was exactly what attracted David to him. Wait, had he just thought that? David blushed even harder and looked at the wall on the other side of the bed, before he was caught. Way to be awkward, Krecji...he reprimanded himself inwardly.
Milan shook his head quickly. “Hey, no forcing at all on your part. I would've been fine with water but this makes it just better. Just chilling and relaxing and making some pretty screwed-up interpretations on the 'Ocean's 11' characters in which you probably think the vodka is getting to my head already,” he wiggled his eyebrows at David and laughed. Maybe it really was getting to his head because his thoughts about David were getting more out of the friend/roommate/linemate idea. He grinned once he saw David's face turning the shade of his ketchup and chuckled. “Did I embarrass poor wittle David? Milan is sorry.” He pouted his bottom lip and widened his eyes, looking like a puppy that had just gotten kicked across the room.
Unfortunately he hadn't been quick enough in looking away. Hesitantly turning his attention back toward Milan, David bit his lip. “I think I embarrassed myself, actually. But I have a tendency to do that...” he laughed a little and cleared his throat. “And no, I don't think that the alcohol has gone to your head yet. I actually thought the same thing...and he kinda reminds me of you, in that sense...” he said, releasing his lip from his teeth and running a hand through his hair, trying to remove the awkwardness that he'd caused from the air. But, looking at Milan, it was kind of difficult. Because the childish, playful look on his friend's face made him...God, he wanted him even more than he had beforehand. “You keep smirking like that and I'll have to embarrass myself even worse, though...” he said, before he could stop himself, and immediately wished that he could jump out the sixth story window of the hotel room right afterward. “Um...I...I'm sorry...”
Milan raised an eyebrow, watching his friend look a bit uncomfortable and felt a bit bad. He hated when his lighthearted jokes make others feel awkward. “Really? Well, I'll admit I've never robbed a casino. Then again, I've never been to Las Vegas.” He thought for a moment. “And I think being thought of as 'baby-faced' is a first.” He gave a warm smile to David and despite the voices in his head asking just what he was doing, he shifted his body closer. “You might want to know that this smirk,” he pointed to the smirk pasted on his face, “rarely ever leaves my face so..looks like you got a night full of embarrassment ahead of you.” Milan didn't exactly know why he was suddenly being so forward and..flirtatious. He wasn't sure why he was doing all of these..strange things but he wanted to keep going. He wanted to see just how much he could push himself, just like his fights. The punches would fly until someone stopped him.
When Milan's smirk grew, David felt a stirring below his belt. He tried as hard as he could not to stare, but it was proving exceedingly difficult. And the look on his face went from...whatever it had been, to nothing but a huge smirk. “I never said baby-faced. But then, neither is Matt Damon. I just see the innocence in your eyes that not a lot of people will notice...I see that it's not all hard and tough as it is on the outside, you know?” he said, noticing that the liquor was starting to hit his system now, since he was starting to speak his mind a little more. “I think you're pretty nervous on the inside still...” he bit his lip, secretly hoping that he hadn't freaked his friend out. But he was pretty sure that he was right. Nervousness oozed off Milan's face, and the cocky attitude and constant fighting, at least from David's perception, was nothing but a ruse to make himself seem all that much tougher. Maybe he was way off base, but he'd stay in that frame of mind until he was told that he was wrong.
“Innocence, huh?” Milan cocked his head to the side. “I would've thought of you as the innocent one, all quiet and soft-spoken. Unless..you got some other side to you that has yet to come out.” He looked at David with a look, trying to pull something out of him. “Because, I think everyone has some side of them that they hide. Just until something..or someone finds the key and unleashes it. Then it's like they're not the one discovering it because..you're discovering it also.” It was strange for him to be saying such profound things, but like the other strange feelings he was having at that moment, he blamed the drinks and threw back other one, his throat now numb. The longer he looked over at David, the more the strange feelings crawled up through his body. There was a feeling of want and curiosity and the feeling was now creeping all the way to the tips of his fingers. He handed the bottle back to David, their fingers lightly touching. It was like he had been shocked as his body froze and he took a sharp, quick breath.
David shrugged and brushed a hand over his hair. “Yeah. There are different types of innocence, and I think you're the type that...you want people to think that you're a lot emotionally stronger than you actually are, so you don't get hurt...” he finally spoke up with what he'd been thinking since he and Milan first met, when his friend had all but physically squared his shoulders and thrown his defenses up, as though he was trying to keep himself secret. “That's a pretty good observation, Milan...” he bit his lip and turned a little red. He had always felt like Milan knew something about him. Something that he wasn't exactly sure about. And maybe he was crazy for thinking that, but he couldn't help it. “I don't know if there's a secret side to me. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know myself well...but...” he paused when he heard the gasping breath coming from his friend. The touch of the hands was innocent enough, and he wondered if he'd done something wrong. “I...um, are you okay?” he cleared his throat, not pulling his hand away right off, because he liked the warm presence of Milan's hand on his.
Milan blinked. It was as if David had taken a look inside his head and pulled out the things he had hidden away for a while. “Everyone sees me as this tough guy, which I guess if you just saw me play, you'd think that. But you're right, it covers up things. The physicality conceals my weaknesses.” He was a candle against David's flame, melting away the hard outside to the hidden waxy interior. No one in his 19 years had succeeded in doing that. “I feel like I know myself pretty well also. You never know what someone else can dig up though, right?” He looked down at their barely-touching hands, wondering why David hadn't pulled away. He inwardly pleaded that he wouldn't. “Yeah..uh..I'm f-fine,” he stuttered out. They were both holding the bottle and Milan couldn't gather up the strength to let go. What was keeping him there? He looked up at his friend, feeling a hard lump gathering in his throat and something tightened in his jeans.
David wasn't sure what compelled him to do what he did next. But something in his brain told him that it was okay. So, he put a hand on Milan's face, running a thumb along the red mark from the fight in which he'd defended David, and steering his face to keep Milan's eyes locked on his. “See? That's how I knew. Because...we talk here, too...” he spoke in a deep, soft whisper, grazing the marred flesh with his thumb again. “And I'd like to think that I know you pretty well, even though we've only known each other for a really short amount of time...” he bit his lip, before leaning forward and touching their forheads together, and feeling Milan's breath, ever so slightly bated, on his face, was enough to topple David over the edge of reason and into Milan's tell all eyes. And apparently onto his lips, because that was where he found himself. He pressed his lips briefly to his friend's, then pulled away quickly, after realizing what he'd just done.
Milan was quickly turning into a puddle of candle wax under David's warm touch and comforting gaze. Everywhere his hand touched his face, it left a trail of heat and prickles, like a pine tree had grazed his face. “I want to know more about you. I need to know all about you.” He lowered his eyes as David's forehead touched his, glancing up to see the blurry version of him. Their breaths collided with each other, mixing between their lips in a cocktail of vodka and pizza. Before Milan could say anything else, their lips touched and he sighed, realizing it was too brief for what he truly needed. The look in David's eyes was nervousness, as if he was completely unsure of what he had done. Milan gave him a smile, leaning over and kissing him, his heart leaping with excitement. He needed more of it, but if his friend wasn't ready for it, he'd stop. And wait. For as long as David needed to. But it didn't stop and he pushed a little more, resting a hand on David's upper thigh.
“What do you need to know?” David asked, smiling wide as he pressed another brief kiss to Milan's lips and running a hand over Milan's hair, soothing him a bit. “I'm David, I'm twenty one, and I'm completely and totally enamored with my best friend right now...” he said in a gentle tone, catching Milan's lips with his own once again and putting a hand on his chest lightly. “I have been since I first saw you, you know that?” he asked, wondering if Milan had gotten the hint that he was gay yet. Either way, he wasn't shoving away, so David wasn't going to fight it. He put his hand on the back of Milan's neck and pulled him closer, locking their lips and parting Milan's with his tongue, exploring the inside of his friend's mouth with his tongue, just awaiting the second that he either woke up, or was shoved onto the floor on his ass. One way or another, he knew that something was going to come along and tell him that this wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Because Milan wasn't gay. Was he?
Milan grinned. “I already knew two of those things.” He silently thanked whatever higher being there was that this wasn't turning out to be as awkward as he hoped it wouldn't be. “My name is Milan. I'm nineteen and is completely ecstatic that he fortunate enough to kiss this extremely attractive man. Who I also have been attracted to since oh, development camp way back during the summer.” He wiggled his eyebrows and moved his hand up David's side to the waistband of his jeans, gently teasing by slipping the tips of his fingers under the light t-shirt. For the longest time, he had pushed these thoughts deep into the crevices of his mind. But something about David brought them back to life and..he had forgotten how much he had longed for this to happen. “Krej, when I was talking about my weaknesses. I figured out one of them,” he said, pulling away just enough for him to be able to talk. “I..I think it's you,” he said quietly, smiling shyly.
Raise a glass and toast the flame just like the old days.
Swallow, but be careful, don't drownn the new ways you could say:
"Would you change this time?" I'll begin to change my mind.
When you can explain why I feel see through. Can you feel me?
Could I change one thing? Could I change your mind?
Shall we burn it just like the last time?
I can't change a thing, can't explain why I never felt it
Not even the first time.
lyrics by Blaqk Audio
Authors: geekintehpink and champagnexkiss.
Fandom: NHL > Boston Bruins
Characters: Milan Lucic (written by champagnexkiss) / David Krejci (written by geekintehpink)
Word Count: 2,397
Rating: PG13.
Author's Note: Part two of what we decided is going to be a season long endeavor. *flails*
Continued from: HERE
I have been a world apart, stuck in between time.
Head into the ground, I'm found; falling through fault lines.
I feel see through. Can you see through me?
Could I change one thing? Could I change your mind?
Shall we burn it just like the last time?
I can't change a thing, can't explain why I never felt it
Not even the first time.
“Maybe not enough to feed a team, but...” David laughed, and watched as Milan hesitated to take the bottle of liquor from between them. He usually wasn't shy when it came to the booze, but...there was a slight trepidation in him this time. “You know, I picked this out for the both of us...that's why I didn't get the beer that you asked for...” he grabbed Milan's glass and filled it up for him, handing it over to him. He downed his glass in nearly a half-second, and finished all but one slice of his pizza. He glanced up at the TV, at Matt Damon and George Clooney, and realized that, no, they weren't his type at all. His type? Was...sitting next to him. On his bed. He felt a bit of red rising to his cheeks.
“It's enough to feed one hungry hockey player,” Milan smirked, reaching over and grabbing the last remaining slice, eating it happily. He washed it down with the glass David gave him and sighed happily. “I'm not usually up for hard liquor but after tonight, we need it.” He watched the movie for a minute. “You know what's so awesome about Matt Damon's character in this?” he looked over at David, swallowing the last bit of pizza. “From the outside, he's this totally innocent guy. And then he gets all badass, robbing a casino. Then at the end, he's back to the cute baby-faced guy. Like..he's something you don't expect him to be.” Sure, his thinking wasn't eloquent when he was sober, probably even more messed up after a few drinks.
David laughed aloud as he watched Milan steal his last slice of pizza, and shook his head in amusement. He bit his lip and shook his head. “Oh, I don't mean to, like, force you to drink or whatever. I'm sorry...” he spoke awkwardly, the blush on his face deepening. He bit his lip even harder at Milan's description of Matt Damon, as that was pretty much the idea that he got of him. “That's pretty perceptive...” he chuckled a bit and thought a little more about it. The look of Milan, although he was big and tough, was that he wouldn't hurt a flea. But get the guy out onto the ice, and it was all business. And it was exactly what attracted David to him. Wait, had he just thought that? David blushed even harder and looked at the wall on the other side of the bed, before he was caught. Way to be awkward, Krecji...he reprimanded himself inwardly.
Milan shook his head quickly. “Hey, no forcing at all on your part. I would've been fine with water but this makes it just better. Just chilling and relaxing and making some pretty screwed-up interpretations on the 'Ocean's 11' characters in which you probably think the vodka is getting to my head already,” he wiggled his eyebrows at David and laughed. Maybe it really was getting to his head because his thoughts about David were getting more out of the friend/roommate/linemate idea. He grinned once he saw David's face turning the shade of his ketchup and chuckled. “Did I embarrass poor wittle David? Milan is sorry.” He pouted his bottom lip and widened his eyes, looking like a puppy that had just gotten kicked across the room.
Unfortunately he hadn't been quick enough in looking away. Hesitantly turning his attention back toward Milan, David bit his lip. “I think I embarrassed myself, actually. But I have a tendency to do that...” he laughed a little and cleared his throat. “And no, I don't think that the alcohol has gone to your head yet. I actually thought the same thing...and he kinda reminds me of you, in that sense...” he said, releasing his lip from his teeth and running a hand through his hair, trying to remove the awkwardness that he'd caused from the air. But, looking at Milan, it was kind of difficult. Because the childish, playful look on his friend's face made him...God, he wanted him even more than he had beforehand. “You keep smirking like that and I'll have to embarrass myself even worse, though...” he said, before he could stop himself, and immediately wished that he could jump out the sixth story window of the hotel room right afterward. “Um...I...I'm sorry...”
Milan raised an eyebrow, watching his friend look a bit uncomfortable and felt a bit bad. He hated when his lighthearted jokes make others feel awkward. “Really? Well, I'll admit I've never robbed a casino. Then again, I've never been to Las Vegas.” He thought for a moment. “And I think being thought of as 'baby-faced' is a first.” He gave a warm smile to David and despite the voices in his head asking just what he was doing, he shifted his body closer. “You might want to know that this smirk,” he pointed to the smirk pasted on his face, “rarely ever leaves my face so..looks like you got a night full of embarrassment ahead of you.” Milan didn't exactly know why he was suddenly being so forward and..flirtatious. He wasn't sure why he was doing all of these..strange things but he wanted to keep going. He wanted to see just how much he could push himself, just like his fights. The punches would fly until someone stopped him.
When Milan's smirk grew, David felt a stirring below his belt. He tried as hard as he could not to stare, but it was proving exceedingly difficult. And the look on his face went from...whatever it had been, to nothing but a huge smirk. “I never said baby-faced. But then, neither is Matt Damon. I just see the innocence in your eyes that not a lot of people will notice...I see that it's not all hard and tough as it is on the outside, you know?” he said, noticing that the liquor was starting to hit his system now, since he was starting to speak his mind a little more. “I think you're pretty nervous on the inside still...” he bit his lip, secretly hoping that he hadn't freaked his friend out. But he was pretty sure that he was right. Nervousness oozed off Milan's face, and the cocky attitude and constant fighting, at least from David's perception, was nothing but a ruse to make himself seem all that much tougher. Maybe he was way off base, but he'd stay in that frame of mind until he was told that he was wrong.
“Innocence, huh?” Milan cocked his head to the side. “I would've thought of you as the innocent one, all quiet and soft-spoken. Unless..you got some other side to you that has yet to come out.” He looked at David with a look, trying to pull something out of him. “Because, I think everyone has some side of them that they hide. Just until something..or someone finds the key and unleashes it. Then it's like they're not the one discovering it because..you're discovering it also.” It was strange for him to be saying such profound things, but like the other strange feelings he was having at that moment, he blamed the drinks and threw back other one, his throat now numb. The longer he looked over at David, the more the strange feelings crawled up through his body. There was a feeling of want and curiosity and the feeling was now creeping all the way to the tips of his fingers. He handed the bottle back to David, their fingers lightly touching. It was like he had been shocked as his body froze and he took a sharp, quick breath.
David shrugged and brushed a hand over his hair. “Yeah. There are different types of innocence, and I think you're the type that...you want people to think that you're a lot emotionally stronger than you actually are, so you don't get hurt...” he finally spoke up with what he'd been thinking since he and Milan first met, when his friend had all but physically squared his shoulders and thrown his defenses up, as though he was trying to keep himself secret. “That's a pretty good observation, Milan...” he bit his lip and turned a little red. He had always felt like Milan knew something about him. Something that he wasn't exactly sure about. And maybe he was crazy for thinking that, but he couldn't help it. “I don't know if there's a secret side to me. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know myself well...but...” he paused when he heard the gasping breath coming from his friend. The touch of the hands was innocent enough, and he wondered if he'd done something wrong. “I...um, are you okay?” he cleared his throat, not pulling his hand away right off, because he liked the warm presence of Milan's hand on his.
Milan blinked. It was as if David had taken a look inside his head and pulled out the things he had hidden away for a while. “Everyone sees me as this tough guy, which I guess if you just saw me play, you'd think that. But you're right, it covers up things. The physicality conceals my weaknesses.” He was a candle against David's flame, melting away the hard outside to the hidden waxy interior. No one in his 19 years had succeeded in doing that. “I feel like I know myself pretty well also. You never know what someone else can dig up though, right?” He looked down at their barely-touching hands, wondering why David hadn't pulled away. He inwardly pleaded that he wouldn't. “Yeah..uh..I'm f-fine,” he stuttered out. They were both holding the bottle and Milan couldn't gather up the strength to let go. What was keeping him there? He looked up at his friend, feeling a hard lump gathering in his throat and something tightened in his jeans.
David wasn't sure what compelled him to do what he did next. But something in his brain told him that it was okay. So, he put a hand on Milan's face, running a thumb along the red mark from the fight in which he'd defended David, and steering his face to keep Milan's eyes locked on his. “See? That's how I knew. Because...we talk here, too...” he spoke in a deep, soft whisper, grazing the marred flesh with his thumb again. “And I'd like to think that I know you pretty well, even though we've only known each other for a really short amount of time...” he bit his lip, before leaning forward and touching their forheads together, and feeling Milan's breath, ever so slightly bated, on his face, was enough to topple David over the edge of reason and into Milan's tell all eyes. And apparently onto his lips, because that was where he found himself. He pressed his lips briefly to his friend's, then pulled away quickly, after realizing what he'd just done.
Milan was quickly turning into a puddle of candle wax under David's warm touch and comforting gaze. Everywhere his hand touched his face, it left a trail of heat and prickles, like a pine tree had grazed his face. “I want to know more about you. I need to know all about you.” He lowered his eyes as David's forehead touched his, glancing up to see the blurry version of him. Their breaths collided with each other, mixing between their lips in a cocktail of vodka and pizza. Before Milan could say anything else, their lips touched and he sighed, realizing it was too brief for what he truly needed. The look in David's eyes was nervousness, as if he was completely unsure of what he had done. Milan gave him a smile, leaning over and kissing him, his heart leaping with excitement. He needed more of it, but if his friend wasn't ready for it, he'd stop. And wait. For as long as David needed to. But it didn't stop and he pushed a little more, resting a hand on David's upper thigh.
“What do you need to know?” David asked, smiling wide as he pressed another brief kiss to Milan's lips and running a hand over Milan's hair, soothing him a bit. “I'm David, I'm twenty one, and I'm completely and totally enamored with my best friend right now...” he said in a gentle tone, catching Milan's lips with his own once again and putting a hand on his chest lightly. “I have been since I first saw you, you know that?” he asked, wondering if Milan had gotten the hint that he was gay yet. Either way, he wasn't shoving away, so David wasn't going to fight it. He put his hand on the back of Milan's neck and pulled him closer, locking their lips and parting Milan's with his tongue, exploring the inside of his friend's mouth with his tongue, just awaiting the second that he either woke up, or was shoved onto the floor on his ass. One way or another, he knew that something was going to come along and tell him that this wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Because Milan wasn't gay. Was he?
Milan grinned. “I already knew two of those things.” He silently thanked whatever higher being there was that this wasn't turning out to be as awkward as he hoped it wouldn't be. “My name is Milan. I'm nineteen and is completely ecstatic that he fortunate enough to kiss this extremely attractive man. Who I also have been attracted to since oh, development camp way back during the summer.” He wiggled his eyebrows and moved his hand up David's side to the waistband of his jeans, gently teasing by slipping the tips of his fingers under the light t-shirt. For the longest time, he had pushed these thoughts deep into the crevices of his mind. But something about David brought them back to life and..he had forgotten how much he had longed for this to happen. “Krej, when I was talking about my weaknesses. I figured out one of them,” he said, pulling away just enough for him to be able to talk. “I..I think it's you,” he said quietly, smiling shyly.
Raise a glass and toast the flame just like the old days.
Swallow, but be careful, don't drownn the new ways you could say:
"Would you change this time?" I'll begin to change my mind.
When you can explain why I feel see through. Can you feel me?
Could I change one thing? Could I change your mind?
Shall we burn it just like the last time?
I can't change a thing, can't explain why I never felt it
Not even the first time.
lyrics by Blaqk Audio