NCIS; Abby/McGee ; Loss
TITLE: Goodbye to you
AUTHOR: Sage Harper
FANDOM: NCIS
PAIRING: Abby/McGee
PROMPT: 08. Loss
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 705
SUMMARY: Abby & Tony take some time to reflect.
WARNINGS: Spoilers for ‘Twilight’ and references to ‘Kill Ari part 2’
NOTES: No McGee in this one, but he does get a few mentions.
DISCLAIMER: All the good stuff belongs to Donald P. Bellisario et all, I'm just borrowing and will put them back when I've finished.
“I thought you’d be here,”
“How?”
“I don’t know why you keep making out that you don’t care, that it doesn’t still hurt, that sometimes there are things you want to remember, even the painful memories … that I don’t know about this.”
“Yeah, OK, you got me. I come here twice a year; the day she was born, and the day she … purple was her favourite colour, she never told me but I just knew. Gibbs started this; he always leaves red flowers of some kind. I guess those others are from Probie, he brings different ones.” He stood up “There happy now.”
Abby crouched, placed the bunch of black roses next to the red.
“This aint exactly the day of it,” she noted.
“I guess you’re right.”
Tony sat down on the rooftop, watching a cloud amble overhead.
“You know sometimes I still look up, expecting her to be there. Almost go to make a joke or something I figure she’d find funny. Then remember. I mean Ziva’s cool, for a crazy semi reformed-terrorist chick, and all things considered she’s pretty decent to me, but it’s not the same.”
“Yeah, I get that too”
“Do you think it ever stops hurting?”
“Not really, you just get used to the pain… well that’s what Gibbs said, and I figure he’d know.”
“Sure,”
“You were in love with her, weren’t you?”
Tony laughed
“What! No, not … not really. I mean maybe, but just like as a sister or something.”
“I thought as much,” Abby smiled. Leaving Tony wondering exactly what conclusion she’d drawn.
“How’s Probie taking it all?” he said, to change the subject.
“I don’t know, to be totally honest. He’s being strong for mine and the baby’s sake, but even then he’s been kinda distant and I know he’s had some nightmares.”
“Yeah, makes sense.”
“Kate wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad though, not really. She’d have wanted us to get on with things and be happy, that’s why I played that jazz music at her funeral. She asked me too.”
“I hadn’t realised.”
“It didn’t seem weird?”
“Abs I’ve known you long enough to just roll with anything you do.”
She smiled, took his hand.
“I think we’re going to need to break the other tradition we have though,” Tony said
Abby nodded slightly
“Sex is a common expression of grief though; it’s in the whole balance of life and death. I mean what better way to validate your existence than by the very process of creating life?”
“Yeah, well there in lies our problem.”
“I don’t regret it though.” Abby stated “of course it’s natural to have some regrets; otherwise we’d keep making the same mistakes over and over.”
“Didn’t stop Gibbs, getting married all those times.”
“True, but honestly I know the situation with us and the baby isn’t ‘ideal’ but then if you really get down to it nothing is ever perfect. You just make the best of whatever curveballs life throws. For all the pain I know that in the end it’ll be worth it, holding our daughter.”
“Your daughter,”
“Ours,” Abby insisted “Mine, yours, Tim’s ... I don’t want anyone to loose out, especially not Bug.”
“Of course, that’s what matters.”
Abby looked at her watch.
“I better get back, way too much work to do.” She said
“Ditto, but umm before you go. I wanted to ask you something. About Bug … well you’re quite entitled to say no, because hell what right to do I have to make decisions,”
“Because you’re still her father, however things are between us, and I know you’re going to stick around. So yeah, ask.”
“I umm for her middle name, I’d like it to be Caitlin. Maybe that’s jinxing or something, all things considered, but surely a middle name wouldn’t hurt. And y’know she was equally important to all of us, and she’d have loved Bug.”
“Tim suggested it too; I was going to run it by you today anyway.”
“So, you do think it’s a good idea?”
“Yes,” Abby smiled “I do.”
Tony put an arm around her.
“Great,” he beamed “let’s go home then, before they miss us.”
“Yeah, there’s no place like home.”
AUTHOR: Sage Harper
FANDOM: NCIS
PAIRING: Abby/McGee
PROMPT: 08. Loss
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 705
SUMMARY: Abby & Tony take some time to reflect.
WARNINGS: Spoilers for ‘Twilight’ and references to ‘Kill Ari part 2’
NOTES: No McGee in this one, but he does get a few mentions.
DISCLAIMER: All the good stuff belongs to Donald P. Bellisario et all, I'm just borrowing and will put them back when I've finished.
“I thought you’d be here,”
“How?”
“I don’t know why you keep making out that you don’t care, that it doesn’t still hurt, that sometimes there are things you want to remember, even the painful memories … that I don’t know about this.”
“Yeah, OK, you got me. I come here twice a year; the day she was born, and the day she … purple was her favourite colour, she never told me but I just knew. Gibbs started this; he always leaves red flowers of some kind. I guess those others are from Probie, he brings different ones.” He stood up “There happy now.”
Abby crouched, placed the bunch of black roses next to the red.
“This aint exactly the day of it,” she noted.
“I guess you’re right.”
Tony sat down on the rooftop, watching a cloud amble overhead.
“You know sometimes I still look up, expecting her to be there. Almost go to make a joke or something I figure she’d find funny. Then remember. I mean Ziva’s cool, for a crazy semi reformed-terrorist chick, and all things considered she’s pretty decent to me, but it’s not the same.”
“Yeah, I get that too”
“Do you think it ever stops hurting?”
“Not really, you just get used to the pain… well that’s what Gibbs said, and I figure he’d know.”
“Sure,”
“You were in love with her, weren’t you?”
Tony laughed
“What! No, not … not really. I mean maybe, but just like as a sister or something.”
“I thought as much,” Abby smiled. Leaving Tony wondering exactly what conclusion she’d drawn.
“How’s Probie taking it all?” he said, to change the subject.
“I don’t know, to be totally honest. He’s being strong for mine and the baby’s sake, but even then he’s been kinda distant and I know he’s had some nightmares.”
“Yeah, makes sense.”
“Kate wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad though, not really. She’d have wanted us to get on with things and be happy, that’s why I played that jazz music at her funeral. She asked me too.”
“I hadn’t realised.”
“It didn’t seem weird?”
“Abs I’ve known you long enough to just roll with anything you do.”
She smiled, took his hand.
“I think we’re going to need to break the other tradition we have though,” Tony said
Abby nodded slightly
“Sex is a common expression of grief though; it’s in the whole balance of life and death. I mean what better way to validate your existence than by the very process of creating life?”
“Yeah, well there in lies our problem.”
“I don’t regret it though.” Abby stated “of course it’s natural to have some regrets; otherwise we’d keep making the same mistakes over and over.”
“Didn’t stop Gibbs, getting married all those times.”
“True, but honestly I know the situation with us and the baby isn’t ‘ideal’ but then if you really get down to it nothing is ever perfect. You just make the best of whatever curveballs life throws. For all the pain I know that in the end it’ll be worth it, holding our daughter.”
“Your daughter,”
“Ours,” Abby insisted “Mine, yours, Tim’s ... I don’t want anyone to loose out, especially not Bug.”
“Of course, that’s what matters.”
Abby looked at her watch.
“I better get back, way too much work to do.” She said
“Ditto, but umm before you go. I wanted to ask you something. About Bug … well you’re quite entitled to say no, because hell what right to do I have to make decisions,”
“Because you’re still her father, however things are between us, and I know you’re going to stick around. So yeah, ask.”
“I umm for her middle name, I’d like it to be Caitlin. Maybe that’s jinxing or something, all things considered, but surely a middle name wouldn’t hurt. And y’know she was equally important to all of us, and she’d have loved Bug.”
“Tim suggested it too; I was going to run it by you today anyway.”
“So, you do think it’s a good idea?”
“Yes,” Abby smiled “I do.”
Tony put an arm around her.
“Great,” he beamed “let’s go home then, before they miss us.”
“Yeah, there’s no place like home.”