Sweet Valley Twins and Friends Magna Edition: A Christmas Without Elizabeth Pt. 1
My very first recap! I'm so excited....
This is the Sweet Valley version of "It's A Wonderful Life." Check out the cover below...
Perfect for our Saint Elizabeth, dont'cha think?
On to the recap...
The book begins with Elizabeth yelling at Jessica and the Unicorn Club to take their Christmas party-planning meeting out of her bedroom. Jessica and the Unicorns stare at Liz in shock because "it wasn't every day they got to see Elizabeth Wakefield in a bad mood." Because heaven forbid that Liz gets pissed off that all these girls are in her room without her permission.
And I was particularly grossed out by this - Lila is running Liz's comb through her hair.
Ew.
Lila, you disappoint me. I thought you were too good to use someone else's comb. Clearly your standards were lower as a middle-schooler.
Ellen helpfully complains that Liz crushed her foot and weighs a ton. I think I would have thrown something at her. Something that really does weigh a ton.
Jessica tells Liz that she should be happy for her because she's been chosen to be the new chairperson of the party committee. She then brags about what a big honor this is, how she has complete power over the committee, and Liz notes that the "committee" meeting looks just like a Unicorn meeting. Jessica responds with an "of course," since nobody else at school knows more about parties than the Unicorns.
We then get an explanation of who the Unicorns are - that they wear purple every day (it must be a bitch finding that much purple clothing), everyone knows the Unicorns are the most important people in the school, and that Liz not only had the nerve to refuse to become a member, but she calls it "The Snob Squad." (Really, Liz, for all your talent as a writer, that was the best phrase you could come up with?)
This leads into the standard description of the twins (minus the siz six detail) and what very different people they are. Do the ghostwriters really need to drill this into our heads with every book? Seriously. We know that by now.
Liz is treasurer for the Christmas party, and Lila points out that Liz's job isn't exactly hard work, that all she has to do is count the money. Her daddy must have a really easy job, then. Ellen asks how much money is in the fund and Liz responds with "three hundred and eighty-six dollars."
Remember this. It will be important later.
There's a funny moment where Lila whines about all the brownies she baked for the bake sales to raise money for the party, and Jessica calls her out on it, revealing that Lila's housekeeper actually baked them.
Lila: 0. Jessica: 1.
Finally Liz gets all the Unicorns out of her room, and Jess asks Liz why she's being such a Scrooge. Liz answers that she's got a zit on her chin and she got a B- on her test. (Horrors! A perfect Wakefield twin gets a blemish and less than an A on her test? Life in Sweet Valley as we know it is about to come to an end!) Surprisingly enough, Jess seems more horrified by the B- than Liz's zit. Isn't she supposed to be the looks-conscious one?
Anyway, Liz says that she's been spending so much time volunteering at the homeless shelter (cough*SaintElizabeth*cough) that she got behind on her reading, and she's grouchy because she's got a lot of homework to catch up on. Jess tries to cheer Liz up, but she can tell Liz is still down in the dumps, so she thinks harder to come up with a solution.
Which she does.
Cover Magic. For Liz's zit.
Ah, Jess. You scared me for a moment there by actually being concerned about Liz's grades, but you've restored my faith in your shallowness and sociopathy. Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Liz ends up going to the homeless shelter. Because going there makes her feel better. About herself, apparently.
She stops at the drugstore and buys decorations, then arrives at the shelter and is bombarded by a group of children. Everyone loves Saint Elizabeth. Why wouldn't they all rush her at the door?
Two of Liz's favorite shelter residents strike up a conversation with her - Suzannah who is eleven, and her four-year-old sister Al (short for Alexandra). Suzannah asks Liz how her day went, and Liz starts to bitch about her huge zit and her B-. For a moment she's actually human - then she thinks about Suzannah, and how much worse Suzannah's day must have been since she lives at the shelter. Saint Elizabeth kicks back in.
Suzannah tells her that their mother got a part-time typing job the day before, and they may be moving into their very own apartment in time for Christmas. Saint Liz realizes how insignificant her problems are, and tells Suzannah that she hopes they get the apartment.
At dinner, Jess lists her ideas for a theme for the party. One is a reindeer theme, having everyone come dressed as Dasher, Donner, Blitzen, etc. Mrs. Wakefield tries not to laugh, and Jess then suggests an elf theme. Steven pipes up and says that it's a great idea, since Jess can go dressed as Dopey. Steven, you are such a wit.
Mr. Wakefield suggests a sock-hop party and says to Jess that she could borrow his and Alice's old records. Jess is sufficiently horrified and Ned reveals that he and Alice once won an all-night dance marathon. Alice chimes in that Ned was great at the Twist, almost as good as Chubby Checker. Okay, inThe Wakefields of Sweet Valley, Ned and Alice met in college in the mid-to-late Sixties, and they were both hippies with social consciences. I can't see them at an all-night dance marathon, and they certainly wouldn't have been doing the Twist.
Ghostwriter = FAIL.
The next bit of the book is hilarious as Jess wields her power as chairperson of the party committee. She gets bombarded with suggestions from her schoolmates - ranging from a Christmas of the Future party (Ken and Winston's idea - Winston mentions that Randy Mason is working on a computer program for a portion of the party. For those of you who read SVU, you may recall that Randy Mason pops up on the ill-fated cruise that the SVU gang takes after the William White affair.)to "Catch the Holiday Spirit" featuring the Boosters (suggested by Ellen)
Ghostwriter - earns 1 point for continuity.
Jess writes all the ideas in her important notebook and rates them by candy canes.
Oh, Jess, I thought you were cooler than that.
Denny Jacobsen - who is apparently one of the cutest guys in 8th grade - makes an appearance and Jess yells "hi" at him. Janet has a coronary, because she is the one that has hi priority with him. Apparently this is because she has the biggest crush on him, per Ellen. Janet argues that it's because she saved his life. And this is one of my favorite lines in the book:
A while before, Janet had run into Denny and knocked him down right before he got knocked down by a huge, speeding papier-mache tooth. He had seemed pretty grateful at the time.
AHAHAHAHA!
Are you freaking KIDDING me? Only in Sweet Valley could someone nearly get creamed by a big papier-mache tooth.
Denny suggests that the theme of the party should be a big Christmas soccer game. Did I forget to mention he's on the soccer team? Jess writes his idea down in her book, and thinks to herself how cute he is and wonders if he's really interested in Janet. The sociopathy is beginning, folks. She gives Denny's idea ten candy canes, and Janet is outraged because she only got four. Jess tells Janet that she's completely fair and unbiased.
HA.
HA HA.
Moving along....
Amy and Liz go to the homeless shelter, and Suzannah informs them that her father called that day. He's been up north looking for work because there are no jobs in Sweet Valley. (WTF??) He found a job working construction and is sending money so that the girls and their mother can get the apartment. Why he doesn't just move the family where he is so that they can all be together, I have no idea. Oh wait. They can't take the kids out of perfect Sweet Valley. I forgot. Anyway, Suzannah's father thinks that his boss will give him an advance on his pay so that their mother can put a deposit down on the apartment she's been looking at. I have never heard of an employer doing this before, especially not for someone who's just started at the job, and there must not be any public assistance in Sweet Valley to help out Mrs. Glass. (Welfare? In Sweet Valley? Who am I kidding?)
Al gets all excited and wants Liz and Amy to see the apartment, so they head over there with her and Suzannah. Suzannah apologizes for how small it looks but explains that after living in the shelter, it seems luxurious to them. She says that there's always noise at the shelter, and she misses the privacy of being able to curl up with a good book in her bedroom and get lost in it.
Liz thinks of her own bedroom, her collection of Amanda Howard mysteries, and again realizes how lucky she is. She neglects to realize how sanctimonious she is, but that's our Liz.
Another bit with Jess being bombarded with stupid Christmas party ideas that I'll gloss over.
Liz is back at the shelter, helping Suzannah and Al make paper snowflakes for the Christmas tree, when the girls' mother walks up and says that she needs to talk to them. Liz starts to leave (What? Our Liz leaving and not butting into someone else's business??) but Mrs. Glass tells her that she can stay because she'll hear the news soon enough.
It's not like you can't guess what happens.
Mr. Glass didn't get the advance on his pay. His boss wanted to help, but money was tight and he couldn't swing three hundred and seventy-five dollars right away. God, this guy's business must be in the toilet then. Mr. Glass better not count on working there for very long.
At any rate, Mrs. Glass can't get the apartment now, because the landlord can't hold it for her as there's a long waiting list. She reassures the girls that as soon as she starts work, they'll be able to find a new apartment. Al and Suzannah proceed to throw a fit because they can't have THIS apartment.
Liz goes home and sits in her closet, looking at the fund money.
The fund is three hundred and eighty-six dollars.
The rent for the apartment the Glasses wanted is three hundred and seventy-five dollars. (Apparently in Sweet Valley, there is no such thing as a security deposit.)
You can see where this is going.
Liz starts having a conflict of conscience, and so when she goes to school the next day, she goes to the person she knows she can get good advice from.
No, Mr. Collins doesn't teach at the middle school.
She goes to Todd.
Yeah, I laughed too.
She asks him if he thinks it's okay for someone to do something wrong but for the right reasons. He says it depends on what the wrong thing is that she's thinking about doing, and she gets all defensive, wanting to know why he thinks it's her that she's talking about. Todd laughs and says, "Well, it's a pretty safe bet you're not talking about Jessooica. She never thinks twice when she does something wrong."
I give Todd points for recognizing Jess's sociopathy so early on.
Liz says that she's not planning on doing the wrong thing - it would make a lot of people angry, but a few people happy. Todd reverts back to his normal dim self and tells Liz that they can talk about it more later because they have to get to class, maybe tomorrow while she helps him shop for a present for his mother. Mr. Sensitivity, that one.
The next day, Liz starts figuring out a way to carry the money. It didn't take her long to figure out that she's going to do the "wrong thing" and not wait for Todd's advice. She's also added her own Christmas savings money to the three hundred and eighty-six dollars, because she's Saint Elizabeth and she's doing this to help a homeless family. I'm sure the Unicorns will completely understand. Riiiight.
The money is mostly all one-dollar bills, so she decides to wear her blue windbreaker with two large pockets in the front. She divides the money in half and puts it in the pockets. When she goes downstairs for breakfast, Jess is already in the kitchen with Alice, who's cooking. Alice is surprised that Liz is up and dressed, and it's not a school day. Um, shouldn't she be more surprised that Jess is awake before Liz?
Liz tells her mother that she's going to the shelter and Jess pouts that Liz isn't going to the mall with her to go shopping. Alice says she thinks it's wonderful that Liz spends so much time at the shelter, and Jess says, "I know, I know. She's a saint. And I'm just a superficial party girl."
Wow, she nailed that one right on the head, didn't she?
Steven pops up in the doorway and accuses Liz of sneaking out with something, calling her a little thief. Liz nearly has a heart attack as Steven tells everyone to look at her. Jess notices that Liz looks "more boobular" than usual (due to the money hidden in her coat near her chest) and Steven comes out and says that Liz stole his last pair of clean socks. Liz nearly faints with relief, and Jess tells her that she's not fooling anyone with the "Kleenex in the pockets" trick either.
Sorry, I just found that amusing.
Liz goes to the shelter and finds Mrs. Glass. She then starts actually thinking about her plan - wondering how she is going to explain the money to Mrs. Glass, what she'll do if Mrs. Glass refuses the money, etc. She brings up the subject of the apartment to Mrs. Glass, who says that she's already called the landlord and told him she can't take the apartment. Liz asks her what she would do if she could get a loan to put a deposit on the apartment until she and her husband get paid, and Mrs. Glass responds that there is no bank in the world who is going to give money to a woman in a homeless shelter.
Liz says, "How about the Bank of Wakefield?" and pulls out the two wads of money.
Mrs. Glass is sufficiently shocked. Liz tells Mrs. Glass that she wants her to have it, and Mrs. Glass says "Not in this lifetime" and tells her to put it away quick. When Liz insists it's a loan, Mrs. Glass asks her where she got the money from. Saint Elizabeth lies through her teeth and says "From my savings account." She feels dizzy, and wonders if this is how Jess feels when she tells lies.
Um, no, Liz. Because Jess is a sociopath and telling lies doesn't bother her in the slightest.
Mrs. Glass puts the money back in Liz's pocket and tells her that she's a sweet kid, but she can't take the money. Liz begs her to, telling her that she can pay her back early next week with her first paycheck and that she doesn't want Mrs. Glass and the girls stuck at the shelter for the holidays. Mrs. Glass still refuses. Then Liz thinks "WWJD?"
Not "what would Jesus do?" but "what would Jess do?"
She gets all manipulative and says that the money really isn't for Mrs. Glass, but the girls - Suzannah was looking forward to having her own room and Al had her heart set on the swing in the backyard. Mrs. Glass thinks out loud that her husband is going to try to come home for Christmas and is getting paid on Monday, so she could pay Liz all of the money back on Tuesday when he gets there.
Wow, business must have picked up at Mr. Glass's new job since just a few pages ago his boss didn't have the money to give him a pay advance.
Mrs. Glass, in a moment of foreshadowing, says that she would feel better waiting because they can find another apartment, and worries that something might go wrong and she might not be able to pay Liz back right away. Liz, of course, assures her that nothing will go wrong, and Mrs. Glass goes to the pay phone to call the landlord.
When Liz gets home, Jess and the Unicorns are all in the family room, watching TV. Turns out they've been waiting for Liz to get back so they can get their money to go shopping for party decorations. Jess looked in Liz's closet, but the cash box was empty. Jess asks her what she did with the money, and Liz nearly shits a brick. She tries to distract Jess from her questioning and the phone rings.
It's Mrs. Glass, calling to say that she spoke with the landlord and got the apartment. In fact, the landlord is going to let them move in tomorrow, even though they won't have the rest of the rent money until Mr. Glass gets in town. I'm confused by this because I thought the rent was $375 and the party fund was $386 plus Liz's Christmas money. Maybe there is such a thing as a security deposit in Sweet Valley after all.
Mrs. Glass reassures Liz that they'll have enough to pay the rest of the rent and pay her back for her loan. Liz thinks that it won't be a moment too soon, since the Unicorns are already on her case about the money. After Mrs. Glass hangs up, she stays on the line and pretends to be having a conversation with someone from the shelter. Lila gets impatient and says that Liz will never get off the phone and by the time they get there, the mall will already be closed. She decides they should just go.
Jess asks what they'll do for money, and Lila says she'll pay. She just got her allowance from her father, and Jess can pay her back when Liz gives her the money. The Unicorns head out the door, and Lila calls out to Liz not to spend all the money because she expects to be reimbursed.
Liz watches them leave with a huge sigh of relief and thinks that she couldn't remember when she'd ever liked Lila quite so much.
Whew. I'm only one-fourth of the way through the book and this recap's gotten awfully long. I think this one's going to be in parts. I'll post more this week, I promise. :)
This is the Sweet Valley version of "It's A Wonderful Life." Check out the cover below...
Perfect for our Saint Elizabeth, dont'cha think?
On to the recap...
The book begins with Elizabeth yelling at Jessica and the Unicorn Club to take their Christmas party-planning meeting out of her bedroom. Jessica and the Unicorns stare at Liz in shock because "it wasn't every day they got to see Elizabeth Wakefield in a bad mood." Because heaven forbid that Liz gets pissed off that all these girls are in her room without her permission.
And I was particularly grossed out by this - Lila is running Liz's comb through her hair.
Ew.
Lila, you disappoint me. I thought you were too good to use someone else's comb. Clearly your standards were lower as a middle-schooler.
Ellen helpfully complains that Liz crushed her foot and weighs a ton. I think I would have thrown something at her. Something that really does weigh a ton.
Jessica tells Liz that she should be happy for her because she's been chosen to be the new chairperson of the party committee. She then brags about what a big honor this is, how she has complete power over the committee, and Liz notes that the "committee" meeting looks just like a Unicorn meeting. Jessica responds with an "of course," since nobody else at school knows more about parties than the Unicorns.
We then get an explanation of who the Unicorns are - that they wear purple every day (it must be a bitch finding that much purple clothing), everyone knows the Unicorns are the most important people in the school, and that Liz not only had the nerve to refuse to become a member, but she calls it "The Snob Squad." (Really, Liz, for all your talent as a writer, that was the best phrase you could come up with?)
This leads into the standard description of the twins (minus the siz six detail) and what very different people they are. Do the ghostwriters really need to drill this into our heads with every book? Seriously. We know that by now.
Liz is treasurer for the Christmas party, and Lila points out that Liz's job isn't exactly hard work, that all she has to do is count the money. Her daddy must have a really easy job, then. Ellen asks how much money is in the fund and Liz responds with "three hundred and eighty-six dollars."
Remember this. It will be important later.
There's a funny moment where Lila whines about all the brownies she baked for the bake sales to raise money for the party, and Jessica calls her out on it, revealing that Lila's housekeeper actually baked them.
Lila: 0. Jessica: 1.
Finally Liz gets all the Unicorns out of her room, and Jess asks Liz why she's being such a Scrooge. Liz answers that she's got a zit on her chin and she got a B- on her test. (Horrors! A perfect Wakefield twin gets a blemish and less than an A on her test? Life in Sweet Valley as we know it is about to come to an end!) Surprisingly enough, Jess seems more horrified by the B- than Liz's zit. Isn't she supposed to be the looks-conscious one?
Anyway, Liz says that she's been spending so much time volunteering at the homeless shelter (cough*SaintElizabeth*cough) that she got behind on her reading, and she's grouchy because she's got a lot of homework to catch up on. Jess tries to cheer Liz up, but she can tell Liz is still down in the dumps, so she thinks harder to come up with a solution.
Which she does.
Cover Magic. For Liz's zit.
Ah, Jess. You scared me for a moment there by actually being concerned about Liz's grades, but you've restored my faith in your shallowness and sociopathy. Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Liz ends up going to the homeless shelter. Because going there makes her feel better. About herself, apparently.
She stops at the drugstore and buys decorations, then arrives at the shelter and is bombarded by a group of children. Everyone loves Saint Elizabeth. Why wouldn't they all rush her at the door?
Two of Liz's favorite shelter residents strike up a conversation with her - Suzannah who is eleven, and her four-year-old sister Al (short for Alexandra). Suzannah asks Liz how her day went, and Liz starts to bitch about her huge zit and her B-. For a moment she's actually human - then she thinks about Suzannah, and how much worse Suzannah's day must have been since she lives at the shelter. Saint Elizabeth kicks back in.
Suzannah tells her that their mother got a part-time typing job the day before, and they may be moving into their very own apartment in time for Christmas. Saint Liz realizes how insignificant her problems are, and tells Suzannah that she hopes they get the apartment.
At dinner, Jess lists her ideas for a theme for the party. One is a reindeer theme, having everyone come dressed as Dasher, Donner, Blitzen, etc. Mrs. Wakefield tries not to laugh, and Jess then suggests an elf theme. Steven pipes up and says that it's a great idea, since Jess can go dressed as Dopey. Steven, you are such a wit.
Mr. Wakefield suggests a sock-hop party and says to Jess that she could borrow his and Alice's old records. Jess is sufficiently horrified and Ned reveals that he and Alice once won an all-night dance marathon. Alice chimes in that Ned was great at the Twist, almost as good as Chubby Checker. Okay, inThe Wakefields of Sweet Valley, Ned and Alice met in college in the mid-to-late Sixties, and they were both hippies with social consciences. I can't see them at an all-night dance marathon, and they certainly wouldn't have been doing the Twist.
Ghostwriter = FAIL.
The next bit of the book is hilarious as Jess wields her power as chairperson of the party committee. She gets bombarded with suggestions from her schoolmates - ranging from a Christmas of the Future party (Ken and Winston's idea - Winston mentions that Randy Mason is working on a computer program for a portion of the party. For those of you who read SVU, you may recall that Randy Mason pops up on the ill-fated cruise that the SVU gang takes after the William White affair.)to "Catch the Holiday Spirit" featuring the Boosters (suggested by Ellen)
Ghostwriter - earns 1 point for continuity.
Jess writes all the ideas in her important notebook and rates them by candy canes.
Oh, Jess, I thought you were cooler than that.
Denny Jacobsen - who is apparently one of the cutest guys in 8th grade - makes an appearance and Jess yells "hi" at him. Janet has a coronary, because she is the one that has hi priority with him. Apparently this is because she has the biggest crush on him, per Ellen. Janet argues that it's because she saved his life. And this is one of my favorite lines in the book:
A while before, Janet had run into Denny and knocked him down right before he got knocked down by a huge, speeding papier-mache tooth. He had seemed pretty grateful at the time.
AHAHAHAHA!
Are you freaking KIDDING me? Only in Sweet Valley could someone nearly get creamed by a big papier-mache tooth.
Denny suggests that the theme of the party should be a big Christmas soccer game. Did I forget to mention he's on the soccer team? Jess writes his idea down in her book, and thinks to herself how cute he is and wonders if he's really interested in Janet. The sociopathy is beginning, folks. She gives Denny's idea ten candy canes, and Janet is outraged because she only got four. Jess tells Janet that she's completely fair and unbiased.
HA.
HA HA.
Moving along....
Amy and Liz go to the homeless shelter, and Suzannah informs them that her father called that day. He's been up north looking for work because there are no jobs in Sweet Valley. (WTF??) He found a job working construction and is sending money so that the girls and their mother can get the apartment. Why he doesn't just move the family where he is so that they can all be together, I have no idea. Oh wait. They can't take the kids out of perfect Sweet Valley. I forgot. Anyway, Suzannah's father thinks that his boss will give him an advance on his pay so that their mother can put a deposit down on the apartment she's been looking at. I have never heard of an employer doing this before, especially not for someone who's just started at the job, and there must not be any public assistance in Sweet Valley to help out Mrs. Glass. (Welfare? In Sweet Valley? Who am I kidding?)
Al gets all excited and wants Liz and Amy to see the apartment, so they head over there with her and Suzannah. Suzannah apologizes for how small it looks but explains that after living in the shelter, it seems luxurious to them. She says that there's always noise at the shelter, and she misses the privacy of being able to curl up with a good book in her bedroom and get lost in it.
Liz thinks of her own bedroom, her collection of Amanda Howard mysteries, and again realizes how lucky she is. She neglects to realize how sanctimonious she is, but that's our Liz.
Another bit with Jess being bombarded with stupid Christmas party ideas that I'll gloss over.
Liz is back at the shelter, helping Suzannah and Al make paper snowflakes for the Christmas tree, when the girls' mother walks up and says that she needs to talk to them. Liz starts to leave (What? Our Liz leaving and not butting into someone else's business??) but Mrs. Glass tells her that she can stay because she'll hear the news soon enough.
It's not like you can't guess what happens.
Mr. Glass didn't get the advance on his pay. His boss wanted to help, but money was tight and he couldn't swing three hundred and seventy-five dollars right away. God, this guy's business must be in the toilet then. Mr. Glass better not count on working there for very long.
At any rate, Mrs. Glass can't get the apartment now, because the landlord can't hold it for her as there's a long waiting list. She reassures the girls that as soon as she starts work, they'll be able to find a new apartment. Al and Suzannah proceed to throw a fit because they can't have THIS apartment.
Liz goes home and sits in her closet, looking at the fund money.
The fund is three hundred and eighty-six dollars.
The rent for the apartment the Glasses wanted is three hundred and seventy-five dollars. (Apparently in Sweet Valley, there is no such thing as a security deposit.)
You can see where this is going.
Liz starts having a conflict of conscience, and so when she goes to school the next day, she goes to the person she knows she can get good advice from.
No, Mr. Collins doesn't teach at the middle school.
She goes to Todd.
Yeah, I laughed too.
She asks him if he thinks it's okay for someone to do something wrong but for the right reasons. He says it depends on what the wrong thing is that she's thinking about doing, and she gets all defensive, wanting to know why he thinks it's her that she's talking about. Todd laughs and says, "Well, it's a pretty safe bet you're not talking about Jessooica. She never thinks twice when she does something wrong."
I give Todd points for recognizing Jess's sociopathy so early on.
Liz says that she's not planning on doing the wrong thing - it would make a lot of people angry, but a few people happy. Todd reverts back to his normal dim self and tells Liz that they can talk about it more later because they have to get to class, maybe tomorrow while she helps him shop for a present for his mother. Mr. Sensitivity, that one.
The next day, Liz starts figuring out a way to carry the money. It didn't take her long to figure out that she's going to do the "wrong thing" and not wait for Todd's advice. She's also added her own Christmas savings money to the three hundred and eighty-six dollars, because she's Saint Elizabeth and she's doing this to help a homeless family. I'm sure the Unicorns will completely understand. Riiiight.
The money is mostly all one-dollar bills, so she decides to wear her blue windbreaker with two large pockets in the front. She divides the money in half and puts it in the pockets. When she goes downstairs for breakfast, Jess is already in the kitchen with Alice, who's cooking. Alice is surprised that Liz is up and dressed, and it's not a school day. Um, shouldn't she be more surprised that Jess is awake before Liz?
Liz tells her mother that she's going to the shelter and Jess pouts that Liz isn't going to the mall with her to go shopping. Alice says she thinks it's wonderful that Liz spends so much time at the shelter, and Jess says, "I know, I know. She's a saint. And I'm just a superficial party girl."
Wow, she nailed that one right on the head, didn't she?
Steven pops up in the doorway and accuses Liz of sneaking out with something, calling her a little thief. Liz nearly has a heart attack as Steven tells everyone to look at her. Jess notices that Liz looks "more boobular" than usual (due to the money hidden in her coat near her chest) and Steven comes out and says that Liz stole his last pair of clean socks. Liz nearly faints with relief, and Jess tells her that she's not fooling anyone with the "Kleenex in the pockets" trick either.
Sorry, I just found that amusing.
Liz goes to the shelter and finds Mrs. Glass. She then starts actually thinking about her plan - wondering how she is going to explain the money to Mrs. Glass, what she'll do if Mrs. Glass refuses the money, etc. She brings up the subject of the apartment to Mrs. Glass, who says that she's already called the landlord and told him she can't take the apartment. Liz asks her what she would do if she could get a loan to put a deposit on the apartment until she and her husband get paid, and Mrs. Glass responds that there is no bank in the world who is going to give money to a woman in a homeless shelter.
Liz says, "How about the Bank of Wakefield?" and pulls out the two wads of money.
Mrs. Glass is sufficiently shocked. Liz tells Mrs. Glass that she wants her to have it, and Mrs. Glass says "Not in this lifetime" and tells her to put it away quick. When Liz insists it's a loan, Mrs. Glass asks her where she got the money from. Saint Elizabeth lies through her teeth and says "From my savings account." She feels dizzy, and wonders if this is how Jess feels when she tells lies.
Um, no, Liz. Because Jess is a sociopath and telling lies doesn't bother her in the slightest.
Mrs. Glass puts the money back in Liz's pocket and tells her that she's a sweet kid, but she can't take the money. Liz begs her to, telling her that she can pay her back early next week with her first paycheck and that she doesn't want Mrs. Glass and the girls stuck at the shelter for the holidays. Mrs. Glass still refuses. Then Liz thinks "WWJD?"
Not "what would Jesus do?" but "what would Jess do?"
She gets all manipulative and says that the money really isn't for Mrs. Glass, but the girls - Suzannah was looking forward to having her own room and Al had her heart set on the swing in the backyard. Mrs. Glass thinks out loud that her husband is going to try to come home for Christmas and is getting paid on Monday, so she could pay Liz all of the money back on Tuesday when he gets there.
Wow, business must have picked up at Mr. Glass's new job since just a few pages ago his boss didn't have the money to give him a pay advance.
Mrs. Glass, in a moment of foreshadowing, says that she would feel better waiting because they can find another apartment, and worries that something might go wrong and she might not be able to pay Liz back right away. Liz, of course, assures her that nothing will go wrong, and Mrs. Glass goes to the pay phone to call the landlord.
When Liz gets home, Jess and the Unicorns are all in the family room, watching TV. Turns out they've been waiting for Liz to get back so they can get their money to go shopping for party decorations. Jess looked in Liz's closet, but the cash box was empty. Jess asks her what she did with the money, and Liz nearly shits a brick. She tries to distract Jess from her questioning and the phone rings.
It's Mrs. Glass, calling to say that she spoke with the landlord and got the apartment. In fact, the landlord is going to let them move in tomorrow, even though they won't have the rest of the rent money until Mr. Glass gets in town. I'm confused by this because I thought the rent was $375 and the party fund was $386 plus Liz's Christmas money. Maybe there is such a thing as a security deposit in Sweet Valley after all.
Mrs. Glass reassures Liz that they'll have enough to pay the rest of the rent and pay her back for her loan. Liz thinks that it won't be a moment too soon, since the Unicorns are already on her case about the money. After Mrs. Glass hangs up, she stays on the line and pretends to be having a conversation with someone from the shelter. Lila gets impatient and says that Liz will never get off the phone and by the time they get there, the mall will already be closed. She decides they should just go.
Jess asks what they'll do for money, and Lila says she'll pay. She just got her allowance from her father, and Jess can pay her back when Liz gives her the money. The Unicorns head out the door, and Lila calls out to Liz not to spend all the money because she expects to be reimbursed.
Liz watches them leave with a huge sigh of relief and thinks that she couldn't remember when she'd ever liked Lila quite so much.
Whew. I'm only one-fourth of the way through the book and this recap's gotten awfully long. I think this one's going to be in parts. I'll post more this week, I promise. :)