Sweet Valley Kids #1: Surprise! Surprise!
It occurs to me that this community is totally lacking in the “Sweet Valley Kids” snark. So I propose to change that, starting with my box filled with the “Sweet Valley Kids” books I cherished as a child. So let’s travel back to a much more innocent time in the lives of the Wakefield twins, before magical vodka ruined parties, Jessica killed off more boyfriends than a soap opera, and Lila thought accusing someone of rape was a great idea.
Now, granted, “Sweet Valley Kids” is a big-print, easy-read, one-picture-per-chapter series geared towards a much younger audience (six through eight year olds), but let’s face it: The Twins will always be The Twins. These books are too simple for A-plots and B-plots; the only complicated concept for young readers to grasp is the change of point of view between Elizabeth and Jessica from chapter to chapter.
Warning: This review is a little lengthy on purpose, in case any member of the community is unfamiliar with this series and how the books are set up. I promise future reviews will be shorter.
The first book in the “Sweet Valley Kids” series is entitled Surprise! Surprise!-because, as we all know, first-issue books deserve a repeating title. The title of the book grabs readers, leaving them wondering, “What could the big surprise be? Do the twins get a set of ponies?” To answer the curiosity, a one-sentence explanation appears overtop of the title: “It’s Elizabeth and Jessica’s seventh birthday!” Maybe they do get ponies! Ponies for their birthday! Ooo, I’ve always wanted a pony. (Note: I realize the cover image displayed does not feature the caption. However, the original 1989 release--with a different cover image--does. So pretend it's there.)
Chapter One: Six Days to Go: This is the introductory chapter to the Wakefield twins. The most important plot point to this chapter is the twins getting ready for school and deciding on matching yellow sweatsuits for the day. The chapter begins with Elizabeth waking up out of a sound sleep without the aid of an alarm clock or a screaming parent (which was, incidentally, my alarm clock as a child… and a teenager… and a twenty-something):
Elizabeth Wakefield opened her eyes. She had a feeling that something good was about to happen.
Then she remembered. It was only six days until her birthday.
The lack of an exclamation point only draws my attention to the fact that clearly Elizabeth is not excited about her birthday. Or it’s too early in the morning and Elizabeth hasn’t had her coffee yet. But let’s continue in case the excitement is delayed:
“Jessica!” she called softly. “Wake up!” She threw her stuffed koala at the other bed in the room she shared with her twin sister. “Mmf-mumum,” came a reply from under the covers. “Is it time to get up already?” asked a grumpy voice.
I must stop here and point out that the author, Molly Mia Stewart, is doing a great disservice here: She’s teaching young readers poor syntax. Rule number one in dialogue writing is that when a second character begins talking-regardless if she’s semi-coherent after having a stuffed koala wake-up call-a new paragraph must begin! Bad Molly Mia Stewart! No cookie!
Chapter Two: Twin Birthdays: The chapter begins with the girls arriving to school, Jessica worried that their spelling test will be hard. We also learn that Elizabeth loves school, gets better grades, and does Jessica’s arithmetic homework for her. We then meet some important characters: Lila Fowler, Ellen Riteman, and Lois Waller.
Lila is excited for Jessica’s birthday party, and Ellen echoes everything Lila says like a good minion should. Jessica informs the reader that the party is on Saturday, and that she and Elizabeth need that entire week to plan it. An entire week? They’re going to be seven! Regardless, stuck-up Lila informs Jessica that she got her “a really good present,” and refuses to tell Jessica what it is, even after she begs.
Jessica wondered what it could be. She had a two-page birthday list of everything she wanted, including a pony and a guitar like Lila’s. She hoped she would get everything on her list.
A greedy Jessica? Who would have thought? Oh, I hope she gets the pony…
Then Lila asked Jessica a very crucial question: “What did you get for Elizabeth?”
But oh! Teh drama! Jessica had completely forgotten it was Elizabeth’s birthday, too! They’re identical twins, but clearly remembering each others birthdays is too taxing for Jessica’s brain. I can understand, though. Dates are made up of numbers, and since Elizabeth does Jessica’s Math homework, clearly Jessica hasn’t learned what numbers are yet. So it’s excusable.
Winston Egbert is also introduced in this chapter, as the class clown who eats peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. Elizabeth talks to him a lot, and Jessica doesn’t understand why.
Chapter Three: Party Plans: This chapter proposes a simple question: What should the girls eat at their party? Well, apparently it’s not as simple as I originally thought. For every suggestion Elizabeth proposes-hot dogs, tacos, hamburgers-Princess Jessica protests. Jessica suggests corn on the cob (because that’s a meal in and of itself), but alas, Elizabeth can’t eat it due to her loose tooth! The twins end up settling on the all-time party stand-by: pizza! But, it’s only Tuesday. I thought Jessica and Elizabeth needed an entire week to plan the party?
Chapter Four: Jessica’s Secret Plan: In this chapter, Jessica robs a bank to buy Elizabeth that pony.
That actually sounded exciting, didn’t it? But sadly, that’s not what happens. This chapter takes place during the twins’ weekly dance lessons-which all the girls from their class conveniently attend, as well. Saves the author from introducing new characters, I suppose. Jessica eventually settles on the perfect birthday present for Elizabeth: A blue velvet bow for her hair. Oh, Elizabeth will love it because it’s blue! That Jessica is so smart!
Chapter Five: The Perfect Present: The chapter begins with Elizabeth reading that great literary classic “Hedgehog Holiday” while eating her breakfast. But oh noes! Jessica isn’t at the table! Where is she? What’s that, Dad? She’s at a secret meeting with Mom? How dare she! Elizabeth, understandably, doesn’t want to finish her breakfast now. How dare Jessica keep a secret from her! Oh the angst!
Oh, and Charlie Cashman glues a leaf onto Lois’s back.
Chapter Six: The Secret Mission: James Bond arrived in town? No, sadly. This is just the chapter where Jessica goes out with her Mom and buys Elizabeth’s blue bow-the big secret from the previous chapter. However, Mrs. Wakefield doesn’t seem convinced that Elizabeth will enjoy the present. Could this be possible foreshadowing?
Chapter Seven: Elizabeth’s Secret Plan: Clearly by this point, the book should have been titled Secrets! Secrets! This section of the book is devoted to the girls buying their party dresses. I can totally sympathize with their older brother:
“Party dresses,” Steven said, grabbing his throat with both hands. Then he crossed his eyes and fell off his chair.
Mom takes the twins shopping, to which each one has a different idea for the perfect party dress. Then the girls, comically, end up reaching for the same red dress with pink and green flowers. So now the girls have the perfect dress to go with the perfect food for the party.
It’s also revealed that Elizabeth has bought Jessica a new matchbox car. Oh, how Jessica will love it!
Chapter Eight: Counting the Hours: At last! Friday! Only two more painful chapters to go! This day is special, because not only do Jessica and Elizabeth win the three-legged race in gym class, but Mrs. Becker brings in brownies to class to celebrate the girls’ birthday! Way to go, Mrs. Becker! Give your class of first-graders chocolate and sugar on a Friday!
Chapter Nine: Party Time: Well, it’s about time! And from the very beginning it’s revealed that Elizabeth has had time to digest the news of their rapidly-approaching birthday, and not only (finally) uses appropriate, exciting punctuation, but has evolved from the koala-gram to bed bouncing as a means of waking her sister.
After a breakfast of blueberry pancakes, the girls don their new party dresses and wait eagerly for their guests to arrive. Winston arrives first, followed by Lila, then everyone else in the class. I was hoping for Lila to arrive late with a Cinderella-type entrance, but clearly this is before she was snooty enough to think that up. Once everyone in their class arrives, they immediately play a game called “Sardines,” which is similar to “Hide And Seek”-except when you find the hiding person, you hide with them. The twins hide in their parents’ bathtub while the entire class of, oh, let’s say, twenty kids roam free inside the Wakefield house. Fantastic idea, Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield! Winston, sadly, is the last person to find everyone hiding in the bathtub, and even though the rules clearly state that the last person is the hider in the next game, Mr. Wakefield decided to save the readers from the pain and announces it’s time to open birthday presents. What, no pizza?
Chapter Ten: The Big Surprise: Elizabeth and Jessica, finally, after ten chapters, get to open their presents! But the gifts are rather anti-climatic, as the first gift is a set of stuffed dinosaurs from Winston. And remember that huge secret Lila had? Yeah, it turned out to be a doll house and furniture. No pony. I had been hoping! Todd gets the girls two different gifts: a necklace for Jessica and a notebook for Elizabeth. Elizabeth proudly declares it’s a “really good notebook,” then makes out with Todd-oh, wait, wrong series.
Then the girls open their gifts for each other. And guess what? Neither of them likes their gifts! Oh, teh drama! So what do the crafty Wakefield twins do? They swap presents, of course! What a cleaver solution!
The book finally ends with Jessica revealing to Elizabeth that her huge secret in chapter six was her buying Elizabeth her present. Elizabeth is relieved to finally know. After all, she’d been losing sleep for days! Then it’s time for cake (what about the pizza?!), and the entire class sings “Happy Birthday.” The twins make a wish and blow out the candles, Elizabeth wishing that they get to take the class hamster home for Winter Break-just what every parents wishes for, too.
And finally, the painful book is over.
Now onto book two. Only a boxful more to go…
Now, granted, “Sweet Valley Kids” is a big-print, easy-read, one-picture-per-chapter series geared towards a much younger audience (six through eight year olds), but let’s face it: The Twins will always be The Twins. These books are too simple for A-plots and B-plots; the only complicated concept for young readers to grasp is the change of point of view between Elizabeth and Jessica from chapter to chapter.
Warning: This review is a little lengthy on purpose, in case any member of the community is unfamiliar with this series and how the books are set up. I promise future reviews will be shorter.
The first book in the “Sweet Valley Kids” series is entitled Surprise! Surprise!-because, as we all know, first-issue books deserve a repeating title. The title of the book grabs readers, leaving them wondering, “What could the big surprise be? Do the twins get a set of ponies?” To answer the curiosity, a one-sentence explanation appears overtop of the title: “It’s Elizabeth and Jessica’s seventh birthday!” Maybe they do get ponies! Ponies for their birthday! Ooo, I’ve always wanted a pony. (Note: I realize the cover image displayed does not feature the caption. However, the original 1989 release--with a different cover image--does. So pretend it's there.)
Chapter One: Six Days to Go: This is the introductory chapter to the Wakefield twins. The most important plot point to this chapter is the twins getting ready for school and deciding on matching yellow sweatsuits for the day. The chapter begins with Elizabeth waking up out of a sound sleep without the aid of an alarm clock or a screaming parent (which was, incidentally, my alarm clock as a child… and a teenager… and a twenty-something):
Elizabeth Wakefield opened her eyes. She had a feeling that something good was about to happen.
Then she remembered. It was only six days until her birthday.
The lack of an exclamation point only draws my attention to the fact that clearly Elizabeth is not excited about her birthday. Or it’s too early in the morning and Elizabeth hasn’t had her coffee yet. But let’s continue in case the excitement is delayed:
“Jessica!” she called softly. “Wake up!” She threw her stuffed koala at the other bed in the room she shared with her twin sister. “Mmf-mumum,” came a reply from under the covers. “Is it time to get up already?” asked a grumpy voice.
I must stop here and point out that the author, Molly Mia Stewart, is doing a great disservice here: She’s teaching young readers poor syntax. Rule number one in dialogue writing is that when a second character begins talking-regardless if she’s semi-coherent after having a stuffed koala wake-up call-a new paragraph must begin! Bad Molly Mia Stewart! No cookie!
Chapter Two: Twin Birthdays: The chapter begins with the girls arriving to school, Jessica worried that their spelling test will be hard. We also learn that Elizabeth loves school, gets better grades, and does Jessica’s arithmetic homework for her. We then meet some important characters: Lila Fowler, Ellen Riteman, and Lois Waller.
Lila is excited for Jessica’s birthday party, and Ellen echoes everything Lila says like a good minion should. Jessica informs the reader that the party is on Saturday, and that she and Elizabeth need that entire week to plan it. An entire week? They’re going to be seven! Regardless, stuck-up Lila informs Jessica that she got her “a really good present,” and refuses to tell Jessica what it is, even after she begs.
Jessica wondered what it could be. She had a two-page birthday list of everything she wanted, including a pony and a guitar like Lila’s. She hoped she would get everything on her list.
A greedy Jessica? Who would have thought? Oh, I hope she gets the pony…
Then Lila asked Jessica a very crucial question: “What did you get for Elizabeth?”
But oh! Teh drama! Jessica had completely forgotten it was Elizabeth’s birthday, too! They’re identical twins, but clearly remembering each others birthdays is too taxing for Jessica’s brain. I can understand, though. Dates are made up of numbers, and since Elizabeth does Jessica’s Math homework, clearly Jessica hasn’t learned what numbers are yet. So it’s excusable.
Winston Egbert is also introduced in this chapter, as the class clown who eats peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. Elizabeth talks to him a lot, and Jessica doesn’t understand why.
Chapter Three: Party Plans: This chapter proposes a simple question: What should the girls eat at their party? Well, apparently it’s not as simple as I originally thought. For every suggestion Elizabeth proposes-hot dogs, tacos, hamburgers-Princess Jessica protests. Jessica suggests corn on the cob (because that’s a meal in and of itself), but alas, Elizabeth can’t eat it due to her loose tooth! The twins end up settling on the all-time party stand-by: pizza! But, it’s only Tuesday. I thought Jessica and Elizabeth needed an entire week to plan the party?
Chapter Four: Jessica’s Secret Plan: In this chapter, Jessica robs a bank to buy Elizabeth that pony.
That actually sounded exciting, didn’t it? But sadly, that’s not what happens. This chapter takes place during the twins’ weekly dance lessons-which all the girls from their class conveniently attend, as well. Saves the author from introducing new characters, I suppose. Jessica eventually settles on the perfect birthday present for Elizabeth: A blue velvet bow for her hair. Oh, Elizabeth will love it because it’s blue! That Jessica is so smart!
Chapter Five: The Perfect Present: The chapter begins with Elizabeth reading that great literary classic “Hedgehog Holiday” while eating her breakfast. But oh noes! Jessica isn’t at the table! Where is she? What’s that, Dad? She’s at a secret meeting with Mom? How dare she! Elizabeth, understandably, doesn’t want to finish her breakfast now. How dare Jessica keep a secret from her! Oh the angst!
Oh, and Charlie Cashman glues a leaf onto Lois’s back.
Chapter Six: The Secret Mission: James Bond arrived in town? No, sadly. This is just the chapter where Jessica goes out with her Mom and buys Elizabeth’s blue bow-the big secret from the previous chapter. However, Mrs. Wakefield doesn’t seem convinced that Elizabeth will enjoy the present. Could this be possible foreshadowing?
Chapter Seven: Elizabeth’s Secret Plan: Clearly by this point, the book should have been titled Secrets! Secrets! This section of the book is devoted to the girls buying their party dresses. I can totally sympathize with their older brother:
“Party dresses,” Steven said, grabbing his throat with both hands. Then he crossed his eyes and fell off his chair.
Mom takes the twins shopping, to which each one has a different idea for the perfect party dress. Then the girls, comically, end up reaching for the same red dress with pink and green flowers. So now the girls have the perfect dress to go with the perfect food for the party.
It’s also revealed that Elizabeth has bought Jessica a new matchbox car. Oh, how Jessica will love it!
Chapter Eight: Counting the Hours: At last! Friday! Only two more painful chapters to go! This day is special, because not only do Jessica and Elizabeth win the three-legged race in gym class, but Mrs. Becker brings in brownies to class to celebrate the girls’ birthday! Way to go, Mrs. Becker! Give your class of first-graders chocolate and sugar on a Friday!
Chapter Nine: Party Time: Well, it’s about time! And from the very beginning it’s revealed that Elizabeth has had time to digest the news of their rapidly-approaching birthday, and not only (finally) uses appropriate, exciting punctuation, but has evolved from the koala-gram to bed bouncing as a means of waking her sister.
After a breakfast of blueberry pancakes, the girls don their new party dresses and wait eagerly for their guests to arrive. Winston arrives first, followed by Lila, then everyone else in the class. I was hoping for Lila to arrive late with a Cinderella-type entrance, but clearly this is before she was snooty enough to think that up. Once everyone in their class arrives, they immediately play a game called “Sardines,” which is similar to “Hide And Seek”-except when you find the hiding person, you hide with them. The twins hide in their parents’ bathtub while the entire class of, oh, let’s say, twenty kids roam free inside the Wakefield house. Fantastic idea, Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield! Winston, sadly, is the last person to find everyone hiding in the bathtub, and even though the rules clearly state that the last person is the hider in the next game, Mr. Wakefield decided to save the readers from the pain and announces it’s time to open birthday presents. What, no pizza?
Chapter Ten: The Big Surprise: Elizabeth and Jessica, finally, after ten chapters, get to open their presents! But the gifts are rather anti-climatic, as the first gift is a set of stuffed dinosaurs from Winston. And remember that huge secret Lila had? Yeah, it turned out to be a doll house and furniture. No pony. I had been hoping! Todd gets the girls two different gifts: a necklace for Jessica and a notebook for Elizabeth. Elizabeth proudly declares it’s a “really good notebook,” then makes out with Todd-oh, wait, wrong series.
Then the girls open their gifts for each other. And guess what? Neither of them likes their gifts! Oh, teh drama! So what do the crafty Wakefield twins do? They swap presents, of course! What a cleaver solution!
The book finally ends with Jessica revealing to Elizabeth that her huge secret in chapter six was her buying Elizabeth her present. Elizabeth is relieved to finally know. After all, she’d been losing sleep for days! Then it’s time for cake (what about the pizza?!), and the entire class sings “Happy Birthday.” The twins make a wish and blow out the candles, Elizabeth wishing that they get to take the class hamster home for Winter Break-just what every parents wishes for, too.
And finally, the painful book is over.
Now onto book two. Only a boxful more to go…