SVK Super Special #3: A Curse On Elizabeth
I was browsing through a second-hand bookstore today, and found a mere one Sweet Valley book on the rack. However, the woman behind the counter did tell me that there's a man who came in and offered to sell/trade in 50 assorted Sweet Valley books, and they took down my name and number so I could get first dibs if any came in - so here's hoping!
The one I did find, though, is a sweet little Sweet Valley Kids book that I remember reading when I was a kid and really into Ancient Egypt.
The cover promises 'fun activities inside', which includes a word search, maze and a series of trivia questions. The final question is, "Why was it so hard to get Egyptians to work on the mummy's tomb?", to which someone has written 'suptsieoritn'. Below that, it says (in much neater handwriting) 'superstition' and 'Wrong'. Harsh.
Chapter One
Elizabeth is narrating this book. Page one informs us that identical twins means 'we look exactly like each other. We have blue-green eyes and long blond hair'. They're also the only twins in the whole school, and people are always surprised to find that 'Jessica acts like Jessica, and I act like me'.
Elizabeth likes going to the library, because you can find out lots of interesting stuff - even spooky stuff! Certainly, that's not going to be plot-relevant at all. Jessica isn't as into the spooky stuff - that's why, according to Elizabeth, that Jess doesn't believe anything mysterious happened at the museum. It all started on an ordinary day in Mrs. Otis's classroom...
Back on that ordinary day, they're watching a movie on King Ramses the Thirteenth - a king in Ancient Egypt, a country far from the United States. No, really, that's what it says. This was three thousand years ago, though, back when kings were called pharaohs - but King Ramses was only found last year!
And yes, I looked it up. The only search results for 'King Ramses the Thirteenth' or 'King Ramses XIII' are references to kids books.
It turns out that various artefacts from the tomb are touring the United States, and the class is going to see it at the Los Angeles History Museum. Lila wants to go see the jewelry, Amy wants to see the face masks, and Jessica is unduly excited about the coffin. Andy Franklin, Amy, Lila and Jess all agree, though: the mummy is coolest part. Elizabeth, however, thinks they're crazy; mummies are too 'yuck' and creepy for her.
Later that day, a college student who was present at the discovery, named Henry, comes to visit. His hair sticks up and looks messy, so we know he's got something wrong with him. Maybe he'll turn out to be evil.
Henry tells them all about Ancient Egypt, about pyramids, and about all the loot buried with them. When it comes to question time, Eva Simpson asks, "When you opened the tomb, weren't you afraid the mummy would get you?"
Henry's response isn't suspicious at all. Let me transcribe it for you:
"I wasn't. But it -" Henry suddenly put his hand on his head. He slowly closed and opened his eyes. "Um, it was hard to get Egyptians to work for us." ... "Superstition," Henry said. "I - I'm sorry. But that will have to be the last question. I'm not feeling very well. Thank you for having me." Without any more explanation, Henry left the room.
Told you, didn't I? Not suspicious in the slightest.
Elizabeth goes and looks up 'superstition' in the dictionary, assuming it means something along the lines of 'busy'. Instead, it turns out that it means, "A belief based on fear."
You may be wondering what this all has to do with anything. Well, I know this may be the most shocking part of the book, but everyone in the class has to team up and co-write a report on some aspect of the Egyptian pyramids. Jessica ends up teamed up with Lila, and Elizabeth gets to work with Andy Franklin.
For the subject of their report, Elizabeth tells Andy the definition of 'superstition'. They agree to do their report on superstitions about pyramids, but Mrs. Otis tells them that would require going to the library. Really? "Goody!"
Chapter Two
On the bus two days later, Andy announces that the pharaoh's tomb is cursed. Elizabeth chimes in with the detail that whoever interrupts the mummy's sleep dies. This is great bus conversation, isn't it?
Todd and Eva dismiss this as crazy, and Winston teases them about believing in ghosts. Jessica, however, backs up their claims, by pointing out that they found this out from a library book. As we all know, library books can never be wrong.
To further persuade the gathered masses, Andy and Elizabeth take turns explaining the story of King Tut. See, according to this book, a man named Lord Carnarvon was the first to open the tomb, but two months after discovering the tomb, he died. That night, all the lights went out in Cairo, a 'big city in Egypt'. According to Andy, two dozen men who helped with the dig also died soon after.
With these details, I can barely bring myself to snark the explanation of his being a lord as 'he was from England'. Let me just quickly note here: Howard Carver was the first to open the tomb, but Lord Carnarvon was present, so I'll let that slide. However, Carnarvon's death by infected mosquito bite four months and seven days after the opening of the tomb bears little resemblance to their explanation of a mysterious death 'two months' afterwards.
Also, there were 58 people present at the opening of the tomb and sarcophagus, only eight died within the next dozen years. Howard Carter, the man who actually opened the tomb, died of lymphoma at the age of 64, some 17 years later.
Everyone starts to worry, based on this. Jessica theorizes that Henry must be cursed, because he got sick and had to leave the class!
Suddenly, though, there's a loud 'PUFPHHH!' sound. The bus lurches to one side, and starts to shake! Mrs. Otis tells everyone to calm down and that she and the bus driver are going to go and see what the problem is. Turns out they have a flat tire - very odd, Andy thinks, because something happened to the bus at the exact moment they were talking about the curse!
Chapter Three
Finally, they get to the museum, and they pair up with their writing partners. "Look at the fancy light!" Lila cries, looking up at the chandelier. Okay, really - I've been rereading several of the Sweet Valley Kids books, and I keep coming away with the impression that seven year old Lila is really quite dim.
All the suits of armour are frightening Jessica - yes, Jessica who keeps smiling about how creepy the mummy and coffin are.
They keep walking, until they find something. It looks like an elephant, but bigger and furrier - and much, much meaner. Mrs. Otis tells them that it's a woolly mammoth, but that they don't have to worry, because they died out ten thousand years ago.
"That's good. Because I wouldn't want to have one of those after me." Nope, no foreshadowing here at all!
Chapter Four
The students head over to the top part of the Egypt exhibit, where a young woman named Peggy tells them about ancient Egyptian farming and the Nile river. Elizabeth, however, is more curious about why the room is full of poisonous snakes.
The walls are lined with big aquariums full of snakes; she can tell they're poisonous because there are red stickers reading 'poisonous'.
Peggy explains that this is because Ra, the most powerful god, was represented by a cobra in ancient Egypt; that explains why the room is full of cobras. Andy wishes he could see them closer, but Elizabeth is less keen. She imagines them getting out, slithering across the floor and climbing up her legs. What, foreshadowing? No, never.
The next room has nothing in it but a sign and an elevator. The sign reads 'capstone'. A capstone is the stone at the top of the pyramid, as Andy tells us. Then they hop in the elevator and go down, down, down. After a drop of one hundred and twenty-five feet, they've gone (according to Peggy) a quarter of the distance from the capstone of Ramses' pyramid to his tomb.
Elizabeth asks why they didn't go the full distance. Yes, Elizabeth. Because it's perfectly feasible to build a five hundred foot long elevator shaft on short notice.
Everyone lines up to look at all the pretty things (or 'loot', as Jessica charmingly calls it) that were buried in the tomb, and wait their turn to look at the mummy in the coffin personally. When Jessica and Lila get to the front of the line, they take their time - after all, their project is on the coffin. Charlie Cashman and Jim Sturbridge are waiting behind them in line, but they're getting antsy. Eventually, they get sick of waiting, and Charlie pushes Jessica into the coffin.
At the moment, all the lights go out.
Chapter Five
Everyone starts yelling and screaming, and in case we didn't get it, Andy points out that this is just like the night that Lord Carnarvon died.
Mrs. Otis tells everyone to sit down, and there's a crash of thunder from outside. It's storming! Well, that's a better explanation for why the lights suddenly went out, right? Right?
There's no light except for the exit signs. The jewels seem to be shining without light, and Elizabeth even thinks she sees the mummy wiggle his finger. While Jessica is stressing over having caused this by bumping the case, I have to ask; if you were a mummy who had been lying in your tomb for thousands of years, when you were suddenly excavated, shipped to California, and then had a seven year old girl bump you... would you turn off lights and wiggle your finger? Surely, if you were going to do anything, you'd get up and beat-down the girl who bumped you, or the guys who excavated you. Not wiggle your fingers in the darkness.
I'd be a way better creepy mummy than Ramses XIII.
Peggy appears a few moments later with a flashlight, and Elizabeth grabs Jessica's hand and follows the group out of the museum. It's pouring down rain outside, and the entire museum is dark. They hurry on to the bus, but wait --
Elizabeth's buddy was Andy, not Jessica. Lila's fine, she was holding Jessica's other hand, but where did Elizabeth's buddy go?
Clearly, Elizabeth can't go alone, so Jessica follows her back into the dark museum.
(Cue dramatic reverb.)
Chapter Six
Inside, it's dark and everything is deserted. The swords by the suits of armour are gleaming. A few voices echo from far away.
Boom, boom, goes the thunder. Something in the distance growls - the two girls turn to run, but Elizabeth... well, she accidentally runs into a suit of armour and falls over. Everything goes black.
Chapter Seven
When Elizabeth opens her eyes again, Jessica is kneeling beside her and yelling. Something's coming closer, and they need to run - but Elizabeth is dizzy, and she's getting a headache. They try to hurry out of the museum, but the door has closed and locked behind them. Museum employees? No - must be the pharaoh's curse!
Whatever it is, it's coming closer. There's growling noises, and footsteps. They yell for help, but Elizabeth eventually gets a grip, and turns to face whatever's coming - and screams.
Chapter Eight
I gotta say, I'm a little tired of these rapid-fire, going-nowhere chapters.
Turns out Elizabeth screamed because the footsteps were Andy, and he nearly ran into her. Class act. Andy looks like he's about to cry, and Jessica yelling at him for being a pain doesn't help. He tells them that something's coming, and they really don't want to know, but they have to get out of there.
They turn and run, but Elizabeth makes the mistake of looking behind her. It's the woolly mammoth! It's growling, licking his chops, and running after her. I bet we couldn't see that coming.
They all try to outrun it, but Elizabeth is still dizzy and now her ankle hurts. The mammoth is closing in on her (shouldn't have looked behind you, Liz), and she knows it's about to eat her. Jessica and Andy are nowhere to be seen.
Chapter Nine
No, really, why are all the chapters about three pages long now?
Suddenly, someone reaches out and pulls Elizabeth out of the way of the woolly mammoth. Turns out, Jessica and Andy pulled her into the elevator. Before the mammoth can turn and spear them, they close the doors! Great plan.
Down, down, down they go. Now they're in the pharaoh's tomb, because that's a great place to hang out if you think you're under a mummy's curse. Sure, it's no worse than letting yourself be speared by a woolly mammoth, but my money would have been on staying in the elevator until further notice.
They stand there for a moment, but then Elizabeth notices Andy is having trouble breathing. Come to think of it, so is she, and Jessica is beginning to gasp, too. Tired from running? Maybe - but suddenly alarms go off, and lights begin to flash.
Chapter Ten
Another three page chapter. Really?
They hurry to the source of the blinking lights, and realise it's the air system for the tomb. The alarm means the system has failed - there's no air left.
I don't know if that's even a real thing, but really? You realise you can't breathe and there's an alarm going off, so you run over to see what it is? I would have thought conserving your breath would be the better option.
The elevator doesn't work now - surprise, surprise - so they agree to just sit and wait for someone to hear the alarm and come rescue them. Sure, any time now. Any time.
Andy gets sick of it first (in a 'no air' environment, I'm not surprised it barely takes a minute for him to conclude that it's a bad idea), so they exit the elevator again and send Jessica out to try to find a way out. A moment later, she finds the stairs, and yells and motions to them to follow her. And again with the running! If you're running low on air, why would you run around and yell at each other?
They start climbing, but Elizabeth is now feeling sleepy and faint in addition to the dizziness she was feeling earlier. Still, it's their only chance, so they keep climbing and climbing. Andy drops his glasses to the floor, but they just can't go back and get them (no air, after all), so they've got to keep climbing... but now Liz isn't sure she can make it!
Chapter Eleven
She has to stop and rest, but she does make it to the top. Did we expect anything else? St. Liz can't suffocate in a museum.
They look around as they get to the top of the stairs, and relax a little, but Andy reminds them that there could still be a woolly mammoth around. This bit of dialogue occurs:
"Well, it's not close by."
"How do you know?"
"Because she can't see him."
"Are you sure?"
Apparently, Andy's glasses don't just let him see; they make him smarter. Here's a tip, Andy: it's hard to miss a woolly mammoth. If there's one around, you'll know.
Jessica leads the way, and Elizabeth has to lead Andy through the room with all the snakes in the walls. Andy makes Liz promise that if they end up being chased by the mammoth again, that she has to go ahead and leave him behind... but before she can commit one way or the other to that, she notices something moving on the floor. Everything's dark, so she can't make out what it is, and Andy's blind, so he has no clue. Still, it quickly becomes apparent - snakes!
Unfortunately, none of them crawl up Elizabeth's leg, like she worried about earlier, but I'm sure none of us missed this one coming.
Very, very slowly, they make it to the other side of the room and close the door, using Elizabeth's jacket to block the crack so the snakes can't slither under it.
Unfortunately, now they're trapped.
Chapter Twelve
The only way out is a set of stairs. After dithering about going up or down, they agree that up will have more air, but down is more likely to lead to an exit... so down it is.
After about five flights of stairs, they start hearing moaning like 'Steven makes when he eats too much dinner'.
From this they conclude that it's not the mummy (it's too human) and that there must be air (otherwise, there couldn't be moaning). The moaning, it turns out, is coming from the tomb, which does have air again. The door mysteriously locks behind them when they go to investigate, so they have no choice other than to approach.
It's Henry!
Turns out, he was trying to steal everything in the tomb, including the mummy and the coffin (by himself? Does he have super-strength or extra arms or something?). He confesses to making the lights go out and cutting off the security system, but as soon as he touched the coffin, he started getting terrible stomach pains. It must be the Curse of the Pharaoh - and he's going to die!
Well, I told you he was evil. No one good has hair that scruffy.
He passes out and the three students forget about him for the moment; they have to find a way out, and the obvious way to do that is to steal his flashlight and leave him behind. Unfortunately, the flashlight has rolled under the coffin, and Elizabeth is the unlucky soul who has to fetch it.
More importantly than the flashlight is the puddle of green stuff next to it. It seems to be coming from... the mummy!
Elizabeth drops and breaks the flashlight, and Jessica and Andy turn to scold her - just in time to see the mummy stand up!
Chapter Thirteen
Faced with a three thousand year old corpse that has just come alive and stood up in front of them, Jessica suggests they leave poor, unconscious Henry behind and get out of there. Unfortunately, the doors to the stairs are locked, and the elevator still isn't working.
Ah, but Henry must have a key, right? They loot his body for the keys, then head off to find a way out. The mummy can only take tiny steps, so they have plenty of time to run back and forth looking for a door to fit the key into. Honestly, I'm not seeing how this guy is much of a threat if you have time to check the elevator, loot Henry's keys, try all the keys in the door to the stairs, then run around looking for another door.
Eventually, they stumble upon a red door which they conveniently missed all the other times, and which one of Henry's keys does fit. Elizabeth and Andy hold it closed behind them, while Jessica runs ahead to find a way out. Yes. Two second-graders are holding the door closed against a mummy which can only take baby-steps, and which is apparently leaking green goo, and they're still concerned that he's actually a threat to them.
The door they came in is the only door out of the place, and they're just too small to fight the mummy (at this point, I'm thinking that pushing him over and walking to the other side of the room might be the best bet). Elizabeth, however, notices that there's a model plane attached to the ceiling, which they could climb into.
Well, yes, I doubt mummies can climb, but it still seems like the oddest solution to their problem.
They clamber up the conveniently placed ladder (was the museum expecting this? Was Henry?) and into the plane, but they aren't quite sure what to do next. Suddenly, Elizabeth's brains come to the rescue - if they rock the plane back and forth until the rope holding it snaps, they'll fly out the window!
I certainly can't see anything that could possibly go wrong with this plan!
It works, to an extent - they fly out the window, but it turns out that there's a big tree in their way, and they're about to hit it.
And not for the first time, everything goes black.
Chapter Fourteen
When Elizabeth comes to, Jessica is calling her name. She opens her eyes, to see Mrs. Otis standing over her. When did she get there? Why, she's been there the whole time. Don't you remember, Elizabeth? We went to the museum today!
"You got a nasty bump on your head," Elizabeth is informed, and she's unsurprised. Of course - they hit a tree, didn't they?
And Henry's here. Does he feel better? He had a headache a few days ago... but he's fine now. Are you sure you're alright, Elizabeth?
Turns out, this was all just a dream. As she muzzily thinks everything over, she concludes that what everyone's talking about is that she ran into a suit of armour and knocked herself unconscious, and everything that happened from that point onwards... well, didn't happen. Henry wasn't unconscious or a thief (aww...), they weren't chased by a woolly mammoth, no cobras were let out to attack them, and no green-goo-leaking mummies chased them through the corridors.
Oh, phew. I'm sure we couldn't have predicted that ending.
But wait, where's Elizabeth's jacket? Oh... she left it in the museum, to keep the cobras in.
Da-da-DAAAAAAH...
The one I did find, though, is a sweet little Sweet Valley Kids book that I remember reading when I was a kid and really into Ancient Egypt.
The cover promises 'fun activities inside', which includes a word search, maze and a series of trivia questions. The final question is, "Why was it so hard to get Egyptians to work on the mummy's tomb?", to which someone has written 'suptsieoritn'. Below that, it says (in much neater handwriting) 'superstition' and 'Wrong'. Harsh.
Chapter One
Elizabeth is narrating this book. Page one informs us that identical twins means 'we look exactly like each other. We have blue-green eyes and long blond hair'. They're also the only twins in the whole school, and people are always surprised to find that 'Jessica acts like Jessica, and I act like me'.
Elizabeth likes going to the library, because you can find out lots of interesting stuff - even spooky stuff! Certainly, that's not going to be plot-relevant at all. Jessica isn't as into the spooky stuff - that's why, according to Elizabeth, that Jess doesn't believe anything mysterious happened at the museum. It all started on an ordinary day in Mrs. Otis's classroom...
Back on that ordinary day, they're watching a movie on King Ramses the Thirteenth - a king in Ancient Egypt, a country far from the United States. No, really, that's what it says. This was three thousand years ago, though, back when kings were called pharaohs - but King Ramses was only found last year!
And yes, I looked it up. The only search results for 'King Ramses the Thirteenth' or 'King Ramses XIII' are references to kids books.
It turns out that various artefacts from the tomb are touring the United States, and the class is going to see it at the Los Angeles History Museum. Lila wants to go see the jewelry, Amy wants to see the face masks, and Jessica is unduly excited about the coffin. Andy Franklin, Amy, Lila and Jess all agree, though: the mummy is coolest part. Elizabeth, however, thinks they're crazy; mummies are too 'yuck' and creepy for her.
Later that day, a college student who was present at the discovery, named Henry, comes to visit. His hair sticks up and looks messy, so we know he's got something wrong with him. Maybe he'll turn out to be evil.
Henry tells them all about Ancient Egypt, about pyramids, and about all the loot buried with them. When it comes to question time, Eva Simpson asks, "When you opened the tomb, weren't you afraid the mummy would get you?"
Henry's response isn't suspicious at all. Let me transcribe it for you:
"I wasn't. But it -" Henry suddenly put his hand on his head. He slowly closed and opened his eyes. "Um, it was hard to get Egyptians to work for us." ... "Superstition," Henry said. "I - I'm sorry. But that will have to be the last question. I'm not feeling very well. Thank you for having me." Without any more explanation, Henry left the room.
Told you, didn't I? Not suspicious in the slightest.
Elizabeth goes and looks up 'superstition' in the dictionary, assuming it means something along the lines of 'busy'. Instead, it turns out that it means, "A belief based on fear."
You may be wondering what this all has to do with anything. Well, I know this may be the most shocking part of the book, but everyone in the class has to team up and co-write a report on some aspect of the Egyptian pyramids. Jessica ends up teamed up with Lila, and Elizabeth gets to work with Andy Franklin.
For the subject of their report, Elizabeth tells Andy the definition of 'superstition'. They agree to do their report on superstitions about pyramids, but Mrs. Otis tells them that would require going to the library. Really? "Goody!"
Chapter Two
On the bus two days later, Andy announces that the pharaoh's tomb is cursed. Elizabeth chimes in with the detail that whoever interrupts the mummy's sleep dies. This is great bus conversation, isn't it?
Todd and Eva dismiss this as crazy, and Winston teases them about believing in ghosts. Jessica, however, backs up their claims, by pointing out that they found this out from a library book. As we all know, library books can never be wrong.
To further persuade the gathered masses, Andy and Elizabeth take turns explaining the story of King Tut. See, according to this book, a man named Lord Carnarvon was the first to open the tomb, but two months after discovering the tomb, he died. That night, all the lights went out in Cairo, a 'big city in Egypt'. According to Andy, two dozen men who helped with the dig also died soon after.
With these details, I can barely bring myself to snark the explanation of his being a lord as 'he was from England'. Let me just quickly note here: Howard Carver was the first to open the tomb, but Lord Carnarvon was present, so I'll let that slide. However, Carnarvon's death by infected mosquito bite four months and seven days after the opening of the tomb bears little resemblance to their explanation of a mysterious death 'two months' afterwards.
Also, there were 58 people present at the opening of the tomb and sarcophagus, only eight died within the next dozen years. Howard Carter, the man who actually opened the tomb, died of lymphoma at the age of 64, some 17 years later.
Everyone starts to worry, based on this. Jessica theorizes that Henry must be cursed, because he got sick and had to leave the class!
Suddenly, though, there's a loud 'PUFPHHH!' sound. The bus lurches to one side, and starts to shake! Mrs. Otis tells everyone to calm down and that she and the bus driver are going to go and see what the problem is. Turns out they have a flat tire - very odd, Andy thinks, because something happened to the bus at the exact moment they were talking about the curse!
Chapter Three
Finally, they get to the museum, and they pair up with their writing partners. "Look at the fancy light!" Lila cries, looking up at the chandelier. Okay, really - I've been rereading several of the Sweet Valley Kids books, and I keep coming away with the impression that seven year old Lila is really quite dim.
All the suits of armour are frightening Jessica - yes, Jessica who keeps smiling about how creepy the mummy and coffin are.
They keep walking, until they find something. It looks like an elephant, but bigger and furrier - and much, much meaner. Mrs. Otis tells them that it's a woolly mammoth, but that they don't have to worry, because they died out ten thousand years ago.
"That's good. Because I wouldn't want to have one of those after me." Nope, no foreshadowing here at all!
Chapter Four
The students head over to the top part of the Egypt exhibit, where a young woman named Peggy tells them about ancient Egyptian farming and the Nile river. Elizabeth, however, is more curious about why the room is full of poisonous snakes.
The walls are lined with big aquariums full of snakes; she can tell they're poisonous because there are red stickers reading 'poisonous'.
Peggy explains that this is because Ra, the most powerful god, was represented by a cobra in ancient Egypt; that explains why the room is full of cobras. Andy wishes he could see them closer, but Elizabeth is less keen. She imagines them getting out, slithering across the floor and climbing up her legs. What, foreshadowing? No, never.
The next room has nothing in it but a sign and an elevator. The sign reads 'capstone'. A capstone is the stone at the top of the pyramid, as Andy tells us. Then they hop in the elevator and go down, down, down. After a drop of one hundred and twenty-five feet, they've gone (according to Peggy) a quarter of the distance from the capstone of Ramses' pyramid to his tomb.
Elizabeth asks why they didn't go the full distance. Yes, Elizabeth. Because it's perfectly feasible to build a five hundred foot long elevator shaft on short notice.
Everyone lines up to look at all the pretty things (or 'loot', as Jessica charmingly calls it) that were buried in the tomb, and wait their turn to look at the mummy in the coffin personally. When Jessica and Lila get to the front of the line, they take their time - after all, their project is on the coffin. Charlie Cashman and Jim Sturbridge are waiting behind them in line, but they're getting antsy. Eventually, they get sick of waiting, and Charlie pushes Jessica into the coffin.
At the moment, all the lights go out.
Chapter Five
Everyone starts yelling and screaming, and in case we didn't get it, Andy points out that this is just like the night that Lord Carnarvon died.
Mrs. Otis tells everyone to sit down, and there's a crash of thunder from outside. It's storming! Well, that's a better explanation for why the lights suddenly went out, right? Right?
There's no light except for the exit signs. The jewels seem to be shining without light, and Elizabeth even thinks she sees the mummy wiggle his finger. While Jessica is stressing over having caused this by bumping the case, I have to ask; if you were a mummy who had been lying in your tomb for thousands of years, when you were suddenly excavated, shipped to California, and then had a seven year old girl bump you... would you turn off lights and wiggle your finger? Surely, if you were going to do anything, you'd get up and beat-down the girl who bumped you, or the guys who excavated you. Not wiggle your fingers in the darkness.
I'd be a way better creepy mummy than Ramses XIII.
Peggy appears a few moments later with a flashlight, and Elizabeth grabs Jessica's hand and follows the group out of the museum. It's pouring down rain outside, and the entire museum is dark. They hurry on to the bus, but wait --
Elizabeth's buddy was Andy, not Jessica. Lila's fine, she was holding Jessica's other hand, but where did Elizabeth's buddy go?
Clearly, Elizabeth can't go alone, so Jessica follows her back into the dark museum.
(Cue dramatic reverb.)
Chapter Six
Inside, it's dark and everything is deserted. The swords by the suits of armour are gleaming. A few voices echo from far away.
Boom, boom, goes the thunder. Something in the distance growls - the two girls turn to run, but Elizabeth... well, she accidentally runs into a suit of armour and falls over. Everything goes black.
Chapter Seven
When Elizabeth opens her eyes again, Jessica is kneeling beside her and yelling. Something's coming closer, and they need to run - but Elizabeth is dizzy, and she's getting a headache. They try to hurry out of the museum, but the door has closed and locked behind them. Museum employees? No - must be the pharaoh's curse!
Whatever it is, it's coming closer. There's growling noises, and footsteps. They yell for help, but Elizabeth eventually gets a grip, and turns to face whatever's coming - and screams.
Chapter Eight
I gotta say, I'm a little tired of these rapid-fire, going-nowhere chapters.
Turns out Elizabeth screamed because the footsteps were Andy, and he nearly ran into her. Class act. Andy looks like he's about to cry, and Jessica yelling at him for being a pain doesn't help. He tells them that something's coming, and they really don't want to know, but they have to get out of there.
They turn and run, but Elizabeth makes the mistake of looking behind her. It's the woolly mammoth! It's growling, licking his chops, and running after her. I bet we couldn't see that coming.
They all try to outrun it, but Elizabeth is still dizzy and now her ankle hurts. The mammoth is closing in on her (shouldn't have looked behind you, Liz), and she knows it's about to eat her. Jessica and Andy are nowhere to be seen.
Chapter Nine
No, really, why are all the chapters about three pages long now?
Suddenly, someone reaches out and pulls Elizabeth out of the way of the woolly mammoth. Turns out, Jessica and Andy pulled her into the elevator. Before the mammoth can turn and spear them, they close the doors! Great plan.
Down, down, down they go. Now they're in the pharaoh's tomb, because that's a great place to hang out if you think you're under a mummy's curse. Sure, it's no worse than letting yourself be speared by a woolly mammoth, but my money would have been on staying in the elevator until further notice.
They stand there for a moment, but then Elizabeth notices Andy is having trouble breathing. Come to think of it, so is she, and Jessica is beginning to gasp, too. Tired from running? Maybe - but suddenly alarms go off, and lights begin to flash.
Chapter Ten
Another three page chapter. Really?
They hurry to the source of the blinking lights, and realise it's the air system for the tomb. The alarm means the system has failed - there's no air left.
I don't know if that's even a real thing, but really? You realise you can't breathe and there's an alarm going off, so you run over to see what it is? I would have thought conserving your breath would be the better option.
The elevator doesn't work now - surprise, surprise - so they agree to just sit and wait for someone to hear the alarm and come rescue them. Sure, any time now. Any time.
Andy gets sick of it first (in a 'no air' environment, I'm not surprised it barely takes a minute for him to conclude that it's a bad idea), so they exit the elevator again and send Jessica out to try to find a way out. A moment later, she finds the stairs, and yells and motions to them to follow her. And again with the running! If you're running low on air, why would you run around and yell at each other?
They start climbing, but Elizabeth is now feeling sleepy and faint in addition to the dizziness she was feeling earlier. Still, it's their only chance, so they keep climbing and climbing. Andy drops his glasses to the floor, but they just can't go back and get them (no air, after all), so they've got to keep climbing... but now Liz isn't sure she can make it!
Chapter Eleven
She has to stop and rest, but she does make it to the top. Did we expect anything else? St. Liz can't suffocate in a museum.
They look around as they get to the top of the stairs, and relax a little, but Andy reminds them that there could still be a woolly mammoth around. This bit of dialogue occurs:
"Well, it's not close by."
"How do you know?"
"Because she can't see him."
"Are you sure?"
Apparently, Andy's glasses don't just let him see; they make him smarter. Here's a tip, Andy: it's hard to miss a woolly mammoth. If there's one around, you'll know.
Jessica leads the way, and Elizabeth has to lead Andy through the room with all the snakes in the walls. Andy makes Liz promise that if they end up being chased by the mammoth again, that she has to go ahead and leave him behind... but before she can commit one way or the other to that, she notices something moving on the floor. Everything's dark, so she can't make out what it is, and Andy's blind, so he has no clue. Still, it quickly becomes apparent - snakes!
Unfortunately, none of them crawl up Elizabeth's leg, like she worried about earlier, but I'm sure none of us missed this one coming.
Very, very slowly, they make it to the other side of the room and close the door, using Elizabeth's jacket to block the crack so the snakes can't slither under it.
Unfortunately, now they're trapped.
Chapter Twelve
The only way out is a set of stairs. After dithering about going up or down, they agree that up will have more air, but down is more likely to lead to an exit... so down it is.
After about five flights of stairs, they start hearing moaning like 'Steven makes when he eats too much dinner'.
From this they conclude that it's not the mummy (it's too human) and that there must be air (otherwise, there couldn't be moaning). The moaning, it turns out, is coming from the tomb, which does have air again. The door mysteriously locks behind them when they go to investigate, so they have no choice other than to approach.
It's Henry!
Turns out, he was trying to steal everything in the tomb, including the mummy and the coffin (by himself? Does he have super-strength or extra arms or something?). He confesses to making the lights go out and cutting off the security system, but as soon as he touched the coffin, he started getting terrible stomach pains. It must be the Curse of the Pharaoh - and he's going to die!
Well, I told you he was evil. No one good has hair that scruffy.
He passes out and the three students forget about him for the moment; they have to find a way out, and the obvious way to do that is to steal his flashlight and leave him behind. Unfortunately, the flashlight has rolled under the coffin, and Elizabeth is the unlucky soul who has to fetch it.
More importantly than the flashlight is the puddle of green stuff next to it. It seems to be coming from... the mummy!
Elizabeth drops and breaks the flashlight, and Jessica and Andy turn to scold her - just in time to see the mummy stand up!
Chapter Thirteen
Faced with a three thousand year old corpse that has just come alive and stood up in front of them, Jessica suggests they leave poor, unconscious Henry behind and get out of there. Unfortunately, the doors to the stairs are locked, and the elevator still isn't working.
Ah, but Henry must have a key, right? They loot his body for the keys, then head off to find a way out. The mummy can only take tiny steps, so they have plenty of time to run back and forth looking for a door to fit the key into. Honestly, I'm not seeing how this guy is much of a threat if you have time to check the elevator, loot Henry's keys, try all the keys in the door to the stairs, then run around looking for another door.
Eventually, they stumble upon a red door which they conveniently missed all the other times, and which one of Henry's keys does fit. Elizabeth and Andy hold it closed behind them, while Jessica runs ahead to find a way out. Yes. Two second-graders are holding the door closed against a mummy which can only take baby-steps, and which is apparently leaking green goo, and they're still concerned that he's actually a threat to them.
The door they came in is the only door out of the place, and they're just too small to fight the mummy (at this point, I'm thinking that pushing him over and walking to the other side of the room might be the best bet). Elizabeth, however, notices that there's a model plane attached to the ceiling, which they could climb into.
Well, yes, I doubt mummies can climb, but it still seems like the oddest solution to their problem.
They clamber up the conveniently placed ladder (was the museum expecting this? Was Henry?) and into the plane, but they aren't quite sure what to do next. Suddenly, Elizabeth's brains come to the rescue - if they rock the plane back and forth until the rope holding it snaps, they'll fly out the window!
I certainly can't see anything that could possibly go wrong with this plan!
It works, to an extent - they fly out the window, but it turns out that there's a big tree in their way, and they're about to hit it.
And not for the first time, everything goes black.
Chapter Fourteen
When Elizabeth comes to, Jessica is calling her name. She opens her eyes, to see Mrs. Otis standing over her. When did she get there? Why, she's been there the whole time. Don't you remember, Elizabeth? We went to the museum today!
"You got a nasty bump on your head," Elizabeth is informed, and she's unsurprised. Of course - they hit a tree, didn't they?
And Henry's here. Does he feel better? He had a headache a few days ago... but he's fine now. Are you sure you're alright, Elizabeth?
Turns out, this was all just a dream. As she muzzily thinks everything over, she concludes that what everyone's talking about is that she ran into a suit of armour and knocked herself unconscious, and everything that happened from that point onwards... well, didn't happen. Henry wasn't unconscious or a thief (aww...), they weren't chased by a woolly mammoth, no cobras were let out to attack them, and no green-goo-leaking mummies chased them through the corridors.
Oh, phew. I'm sure we couldn't have predicted that ending.
But wait, where's Elizabeth's jacket? Oh... she left it in the museum, to keep the cobras in.
Da-da-DAAAAAAH...