SVH #115 - Treasure in Death Valley
Yet another book in which the twins and friends go off without adult supervision, missing class, and stupidly put their own lives in mortal danger.
Included:
Todd checks out Jessica!
Chemistry (and an attempted kiss!) between Liz and Bruce AND Bruce and Jess!
Cheating!
No pool push… but Liz gets pushed into a prickly thorn bush!
Heather being a skank!
Apparently Sweet Valley Survival School (SVSS) conducted a required essay contest at SVH and chose six lucky winners to go on a 4-day survival trek across freaking Death Valley. My thought: Why is this essay contest required? If people don’t want to hike in the middle of the desert, they shouldn’t have to as a “prize”. Let it go to people who want to be there!
Anyway. Liz states that she knew she’d be chosen from the moment she started writing her essay. Okay, I’ll buy it. But how the eff did Jessica, Todd, Ken, Heather, and Bruce get chosen? What about Enid? Or Olivia? Or someone who actually likes the outdoors? Most of the “winners” don’t even seem happy to be there - and by “most,” I mean everyone but Liz. Liz is overly cheerful to make up for everyone else’s moodiness, assuming this will change their mood. It does - for the worse.
On the ride to Death Valley, Bruce asks if Liz and Todd are planning to ditch the rest so they can “converge with nature”. Bruce is mad because this trip is making him miss a weekend trip to Las Vegas with his dad - which begs the question, why did he write a real essay to enter this contest?
Jess notes that she’s missed Ken, who is “the coolest guy in the world because he’s the captain of the Gladiators football team.” Yeah. She wishes they were alone in the backseat of Ken’s car. Really!
Heather is not wearing the required hiking boots, instead wearing her cute cheerleading shoes. Jess hates her.
Almost to their destination, they pass a state penitentiary. Foreshadowing? The group shivers. I roll my eyes.
The SVSS “leaders” (and I use the term loosely) assign buddies for the group: Liz and Bruce, Jess and Todd, and Heather and Ken. No one is happy except Heather, who says she’s “going to have so much fun looking at - oops, I mean looking after - each other.” She’s scheming to steal Ken just because she hates Jess. The SVSS “leaders” state that they assigned these pairs “for a reason” (which is lost on everyone) and then say the group has four days to reach their destination, navigating and everything on their own, and that a torrential downpour is scheduled to happen after that, plus they’ll be out of food, so the group better be there or else. The SVSS leaders then take off.
It should be noted that the group has had one weekend “training” session to learn about surviving the wilderness, and Liz was the only one fully paying attention. What sort of parent signs the permission slip for this?!? Oh yeah, the kind in Sweet Valley.
With the “leaders” gone, Todd and then Jess try to convince Liz to switch buddies so they can be with their bfs/gfs (or at least with people they don’t hate), but Liz is like, “Oh no, they assigned us for a reason! I can’t break the rules!!”
Liz is in charge of navigation for the first day (shocker), so she charts the course and says it’ll be lunch at one and camp at five. They take off. Liz picks up a piece of litter covering “perfect little wildflowers” as they hike. Bruce, recognizing what a loser Liz is, pushes her into a bush filled with “sharp pricklers”. Liz is mad for a moment and thinks about changing buddies, but then decides that no, the “leaders” were right - this must be for the best. In addition, she wants to turn her required journal entries from the trip into an article for the Oracle and maybe even the Sweet Valley News! Girlfriend dreams big.
One o’clock rolls around and Heather reminds everyone that it’s time for lunch. They stop, and Heather hauls a TV out of her pack so she can watch Sunrise, Sunset, her favorite soap. Jess thinks this will repulse Ken, but he sits down and watches it with her and even asks questions about the plot. And I used to think Ken was cool…
After lunch, they continue to hike toward camp for the night, and tensions rise within the group. It culminates with Liz saying that everyone is being cranky and Todd replies, “Darn right I’m cranky. It’s hot as a desert in this here Death Valley!” ????? Everyone laughs. I don’t know why. But apparently this relieves the tension. I never thought this frustrated group had any tension other than the sexual kind, but what do I know? I used to want to date Todd.
They reach camp for the night. Liz throws a hissy fit about building the fire, which Bruce declares a “man’s job,” and when Liz lets Bruce build the fire, Todd says, “That’s a good girl, Liz.” Heather says Jess is looking fat. Jess takes the opportunity to take Ken aside and lecture him on hanging out with Heather. Liz makes everyone write in their journals. Allow me to summarize the journal entries:
Liz: What a great trip! I’m learning so much! I can’t believe no one else is this enthusiastic! Why are they whining so much? The desert is beautiful!
Bruce: This sucks. At least I get to miss school. “I am learning how much cooler I am than the rest of this bunch.” Ken is a wuss. Why am I writing this stuff? “Who needs to write when you can afford a secretary?”
Heather: This is great! Ken is falling in love with me and Jess is going to be miserable! The dry air is great for my complexion! Maybe I’ll go after Todd next.
Ken: Why is Jess jealous? I hope I discover new strengths in myself on this trip.
Jess: What is wrong with Liz? I hate Heather. This trip is stupid.
Todd: Why is Liz such a tightass? Do Liz and Bruce still like each other? Bruce is “richer and better looking” than me. I can’t compete with him!
I sincerely hope they are not turning in these journals at the end of the trip.
As they go to sleep, Bruce leers at Liz and Todd. Heather wears a cotton lace nightie and puts her sleeping bag next to Ken.
The next morning, Liz appreciates the sunrise by herself. Everyone else eventually wakes up, and Ken volunteers as navigator for the day. Liz is shocked because she assumed she’d be navigator the entire trip. When they stop for lunch, Heather again pulls out her TV and they see a warning for escaped fugitives from the nearby penitentiary. Heather freaks out. Ken offers this reassurance for why their group has nothing to worry about: “Unless they’re idiots, the last thing they’ll do is commit more crimes - it might hinder their escape.”
Ken is an idiot. This is exactly why a convict would commit more crimes - they have nothing to lose.
Bruce sees an abandoned mineshaft, which they’d been warned could collapse, but this is Bruce and he takes off, in search of gold. Jess guilt-trips Liz into following her buddy into the mineshaft. In there, Liz finds an old journal and an old satchel. Todd and Jess end up going after Liz and Bruce when some time has gone by, and the mine collapses. Everyone gets out okay.
Instead of being pissed at Bruce for going into the mineshaft, Liz thinks of Bruce fondly because he offers Jessica some water. Chemistry? Right?
They discover that the satchel Liz found contains gold nuggets and it has a treasure map leading to more gold! In the journal Liz found, she reads that it’s called the Treasure of the Scorpion, and that if you don’t leave half the treasure behind with a copy of the treasure map, you will be cursed. The group decides to ignore these instructions. They divide the gold six ways and go off in search of more treasure (of course, Liz is hoping to find more diary entries to learn more about the history of their ancestors).
They discuss what they will spend the gold on.
Todd: A car, and invest the rest.
Ken: A car.
Jess: A Mazda Miata (she’s found gold and she wants a freaking Miata???).
Heather: Invest in a totally talented jewelry designer for Diamonds International!
Liz: Invest in an up and coming young artist - something she can enjoy today and will appreciate in value
Bruce: Throw the money at his dad’s broker for securities
The trek continues toward the treasure. Jess impresses Todd with her athletic abilities and he totally checks her out from behind, thinking, She and Liz do share some very attractive qualities.
Yes, Todd, they are identical. We learned this on page 2. Keep up, please.
Liz decides she should bond with Bruce. She asks him about investments and notices that Bruce looks really attractive when he’s interested in what he’s talking about, and she also thinks how sexy he looks when he plays tennis. Heather bitches about how tired she is, and Ken falls for her act. Jess is furious.
They locate the cave the treasure should be in, and Liz says they should go in before going to sleep. Bruce checks out Liz as she’s talking, thinking She was different from most girls her age. She had determination, stamina, and talent. He decides to take advantage of the buddy system and volunteers himself and Liz to go in the cave first. Smooth. Once in the cave, Bruce decides to kiss Liz and is about to ask Liz if she feels the chemistry between them - when Jess yells that she’s found the gold. Bruce thinks, Darn it! Jessica Wakefield is always cramping my style.
The groups looks over the map and realizes that they do not have enough time to go to the next treasure spot and make it to their final destination before the big, upcoming storm, so Bruce and Jess (who want to go after the treasure) are outvoted; they will instead go to the meeting point that marks the end of their survival experience. The budding romance between Bruce and Liz is cut short, with Bruce declaring that Liz is a “boring nerd” because she wants to, you know, get picked up by the SVSS “leaders”.
In the morning, the group discovers that carrying so much gold makes their packs heavy, so they decide to lighten their packs by leaving stuff behind: Food. Realizing how stupid this is, Liz takes a bunch of the canned food and sticks them in her bag, making it extremely heavy. She ends up leaving some of these cans behind later in the day, since it’s just too heavy. Littering? LIZ??
Jess and Todd banter about what they will do with the cash. Jess notices that Todd has a cute smile.
Todd offers to take over the navigation from Liz. She’s thrilled that he’s showing interest. But, Todd clearly didn’t pay attention during their orientation and can’t read the map. Jess offers to take over for him, he agrees, and she uses the opportunity to covertly lead the group to the final treasure location instead of toward the meeting point.
The group stops for lunch. Everyone is hungry and has no food, since the geniuses left it all behind, and they ask Liz to eat some of the cans she carried. Liz is angry but takes the high road, since it’s the right thing to do and it will lighten her pack, and she shares food with everyone. After lunch, Liz realizes that Jess is leading them to the treasure. She is pissed. Jess and Bruce high-five.
On the next page, Liz throws out more insults toward her fellow adventurers than she has in the entire SVH series. She calls Jessica “deceitful and untrustworthy,” Todd “weak and spineless,” Bruce “a no-good egomaniacal buffoon,” Heather “a spoiled brat who can only be counted on to flirt with any guy in sight,” and Ken “absolutely worthless.” I gotta say, she kinda nailed the descriptions.
They are marching toward a river and decide to cross it by using a “special arm-linking technique.” Uh. They figure out the system weight-wise, but Jess messes up the system in the middle of the crossing because she wants to be next to Ken. Heather doesn’t grip Jessica’s or Bruce’s hand out of fear and gets whisked away down the river. They rescue Heather, but all her belongings, except a wet sleeping bag, have been taken by the river. Heather blames this on Jessica; Jessica gets mad at Ken for letting Heather talk to her like that; Ken is mad at Jessica; and then Jessica storms off, Liz follows her, and Todd says to Liz, “Sure, go after your stupid sister.” Ken questions his relationship. Todd tells Heather they’ll figure out a way to keep her warm that night.
They build a fire. To build it, Todd and Bruce throw in paper from their journals as kindling. A log eventually rolls off the fire, and Todd tries to pick it up with his bare hands. Idiot.
Liz decides to apologize to Todd but, before she does, she finds a pile of fresh ashes! The convicts may be nearby! Heather stresses again.
More journal entries:
Heather: This is all Jessica’s fault. She will pay. My plan with Ken is working! I will make my move tonight!
Ken: What is wrong with Jessica? She is selfish and infantile.
Jessica: I feel so betrayed. I hate Heather. I don’t want Ken if he wants weak, needy, helpless women. Ken needs a taste of his own medicine.
Liz: I almost feel sorry for Jessica. I blame Bruce. I blame Todd.
Todd: I’m glad Liz didn’t apologize because I wouldn’t be able to help but forgive her when she looks at me with those beautiful eyes. I hope she and Bruce don’t get together.
Bruce: This is stupid. I’m glad we found gold. Once this trip ends, I’m never hanging out with these people again.
Jess tries to make Ken jealous by flirting with Bruce. Bruce realizes her plan, but decides that if he can have some fun out here, he’ll play along; he decides he wants Jessica’s “spark and fire.” He decides he wants to kiss her. Bruce is making his way through the ladies - or at least through the Wakefield twins.
Around the fire in their sleeping bags, Jessica cuddles up to Bruce. Ken notices. He has nightmares and, when he wakes up, Heather is next to him and asks if he wants to talk. They leave the group. Heather inconspicuously mentions that he and Jess have been having problems. They kiss! This marks the first person who has actually, physically cheated in this book!
Around this time, Jessica has to go to the bathroom and gets up. She notices that Bruce’s sleeping face is two inches away and he has drool on his cheek. Jess now finds him revolting. She does her thang in the bushes, goes back to her sleeping bag, and discovers that the gold she’d hidden in her sleeping bag is gone! Jessica screams, and everyone wakes up.
Jessica blames Heather, who claims it must have been the convicts because she has an alibi: she was with Jessica’s boyfriend. Ken feels guilty. He realizes he doesn’t like Heather, and he’s confident that he and Jess will patch up their relationship. He looks at Jess, but she looks upset, and Ken realizes that now is not the time to patch things up.
In the morning, Heather stalks off and no one stops her. She decides to stop going after Ken and start going after Todd. Then she hears voices and realizes the convicts are right by them and know they have gold! She hears them talking about stealing Jessica’s gold and how they know the group has more. Heather tells this to the rest of the group, but no one believes her.
There’s a boulder field between the group and the next gold location, so they start climbing. Heather calls out, “Ken! Check out my Y-leap!” Instead of just climbing the boulders and saving her energy, seeing as how they are hiking in the desert, she was embellishing her leaps, carelessly throwing her body into kicks, splits, and twists.
Heather falls and sprains her ankle. Who didn’t see that coming? The group has to now help carry that bitch. Todd tries to comfort Heather, and Liz watches as his hand strays to Heather’s “smooth, tan calf.” Liz mentally notes that if Heather had been wearing the required boots, this would not have happened. Jess and Liz form a truce out of their hatred for Heather and her man-stealing ways.
Bruce is the only guy there who does not seem to fall for Heather’s charm. He tells her to stop complaining and that she’s lucky they didn’t just leave her behind. SO TRUE!
They find the cave supposedly containing the gold and find six human skeletons and a satchel filled with scorpions. Todd notices that this is the exact time of their meet-up point with the SVSS “leaders”. Everyone blames each other. Just then, the torrential downpour begins.
What a cliffhanger!!! I need to read #116, Nightmare in Death Valley now to find out how this ends!! Luckily, reading that book is exactly what I plan to do, and I’ll post the recap of it soon.