SVU Secret Love Diaries: Sam
I'm so excited! My first post! And I made sure to do it over a book that includes Lila, because you can't go wrong with Lila. I also have Elizabeth's SLD, and plan to do it if this post is successful. I think this one will have plenty of snark in it because I was SO annoyed with Sam.
I'm sorry to the mods in advance if this doesn't work! Feel free to take it off if it doesn't. I'll save the recap.
Uh ... the cover's really not much to look at. The words "Secret Love Diaries" take up half the page, below a headshot of Sam, who looks like a smug 30-year-old asshole. Which is actually not a bad description.
So, this being a kinda-sorta special edition, it's all from Sam's POV. And then, right there on page 1, we get our first peek at "Sam Burgess's Thought Book." Say what? "Thought Book"? What's wrong with "journal"? I am not impressed. Anyway, he writes about how snobby SVU people are and how they always snub him because he goes to Orange County College. But he lives with Elizabeth, Jessica, and awesome Neil (more later), who all go to SVU. He says he won't let his parents pay for his education, which doesn't endear me to him because I'm at college right now and will have mountains of loans to pay when I'm done.
He doesn't seem to like Jess at all and calls Liz "tiresome" and whiny but a good friend. He likes Neil a lot because he's awesome, first of all, and because he teases the twins and doesn't worship them, and because he, like Sam, cannot rely on his parents to pay for college. They've disowned him because he's gay. This book doesn't do justice to Neil's awesomeness, which is featured more prominently in the Road Trip trilogy.
Sam finishes his "Thought Book" entry by dissing all SVU girls. Although, he never calls them "girls." He calls them "chicks," "babes," and "cuties." There's also a "mamacita." I am further not impressed. Sam thinks a lot of himself, btw.
Sam's playing Lara Croft: Tomb Raider at the house when Neil comes in. Neil remarks that he hasn't seen the hard-partying Sam around in a while. Then he does a kind of X-Files skit, pretending to be both Mulder and Scully discussing if such a creature like Sam Burgess really exists. It goes on for too long, but it's sort of funny. But it shows that Sam doesn't do any chores or help out around the house or has any purpose at all. Then Neil leaves him be, and Sam wonders if "he was a good guy." No, Sam. You kind of suck.
A couple of days pass and Sam is still wondering if he could be a better person. He heads into the kitchen where Liz and Neil are talking. Liz is going to be student teaching at some inner-city L.A. school (how saintly) and Neil is going to intern for a news station. They get in a couple of jabs at Sam for being a lazy slob. And then! Jessica and the fab Lila Fowler come in! Save us, Lila. Turns out they're busy doing stuff for the Theta rush week. So, everyone is doing something with their lives but Sam.
They tease Sam because this guy's such an easy target, and Lila insults OCC. Sam thinks that she's a "rich snob" and checks her out within two sentences. Lila notices and rolls her eyes. Sam actually has the gull to say, "You wish, Fowler." She does not! Fortunately, her reaction is comforting: she says, "Yeah, right" and shakes her head as if to take pity on a lesser being.
The second "Thought Book" entry: Sam bitches about Lila being daddy's little rich girl and getting everything she wants. He also contemplates his own lack of ambition. We get this gem: "I can tell that Elizabeth is judging me all the time ..." You and the whole world, buddy.
Chapter 2. Yikes, I have a lot to say. So Sam goes to his favorite bar and finds out they're making a documentary about historical So Cal bars. He hits on a crew member and basically asks if he can be in it. He gets to watch the filmmakers in action and suddenly decides that filmmaking is his "calling." The next day he goes to school to add a film class to his schedule. He's already thinking about the kinds of "babes" he wants to "cast" in his unnamed documentary. He meets up with his friend Bugsy (???) and excitedly tells him about his new love of films. Bugsy expresses doubt. I yawn.
Sam gets a big burst of energy and decides to clean up the house, starting with the dishes he was supposed to do days ago. He daydreams about how successful he'll be as a director and decides that "like Adam Sandler, he would wear jeans and T-shirts on talk shows, keeping it real." Funnily enough, I saw Adam Sandler on The Daily Show and that's what he really wore. But I don't know what that's supposed to do with "keeping it real." Sounds to me like the guy wants to maintain an image.
Anyway, Neil and Liz arrive to see Sam sweeping and the dirty dishes soaking. Sam tells him about his big revelation. They're just happy he's cleaning. Later, he tries to explain to Liz what he wants to make his docu about, but even he doesn't really know. Something to do with "keeping it real," I guess. Then Jess and Lila come in and are impressed with Sam's cleaning skillz. Lila awesomely calls Sam out on his lame "misspent-youth scene." His heart skips. No, seriously.
Then he kind of blurts out that his docu will be about Liz and the inner-city kids she's working with. Liz agrees to it, even though this is the first time he mentions the idea.
First day of film class. Sam is pretty psyched. Then he finds out what he has to do for the class: he'll have to write and direct three short films while in a group of five and while helping the other four by being on their crew. Got all that? I didn't understand it when I first read this. Each film has a theme, and the first 4-minute film will be about someone who gets locked out of their house. Yeah. Sam thinks the prof and the class is completely bogus and becomes a bit disillusioned. I can actually feel for him a little here, because I always feel overwhelmed on the first day of class.
Oh, goody, another "Thought Book" entry (in the middle of class). Sam complains about everything - the class, the students, the prof. He pervs about this one girl, some Jewel-lookalike, and says she must be "one of those girls who considers her body to be a temple. Well, that's one temple I'd like to worship in!" Ew.
Prof assigns groups and Sam hopes he gets Jewel. He daydreams about a possible romantic scene between him and her for one of their movies. Bwah. He finds his group and sees that Jewel is there. What a surprise. He's too busy perving on her to catch her name and thinks it's Leslie. In another "Thought Book" entry, he describes himself as "The Man" and the three guys in his group as "the geeks from American Pie," which strikes me as random. (FYI, this book was printed in 2000, so it's pretty topical, I guess.)
The next scene takes place at the house and we are reminded that Sam has told Liz about his inner-city kids docu. Now he knows he won't have time to film (forget time, how about experience or money?), but he can't bring himself to tell Liz. Instead he promises to go to the school with her tomorrow to scope it out. He admits that he cares about what Liz thinks about him. Dude's got it bad.
He rides in with her to the school. Nothing really happens except he feels more guilty that he won't be able to keep his promise. Although he never actually promised Liz he'd do it, he just kind of declares it.
If you're asking yourself, "Where's Lila?" right now, as I did when I first read this, fear not. She's on her way!
The day after, Sam realizes he missed a meeting with the film crew. He thinks he can call Jewel/Leslie and "be able to turn on the old Burgess charm." Then he realizes that he's not even sure that Leslie is her name - could it be Chris? He calls "Leslie's" number (the crew members all wrote down their numbers) and a guy answers. Sam hangs up. Smooth. He ends up calling Mike, one of the American Pie geeks, who rightly gives him a hard time for missing the meeting. Turns out they all decided that since he missed it, he has to pay for the camera they'll need instead of each one contributing some money for it. He'll get reimbursed for it, but the school wants people to have to buy it. I don't know.
He goes to some camera/film shop and finds out that he only has enough money to buy a crappy lens and not the good lens (Xj6 v. Xj7, for you camera geeks). And then, like some miraculous angel, Lila enters the shop and promises to pay for everything ...
IF ...
Sam will let her be in his movie. He agrees. Then he questions why she would want to be in it. He drives himself crazy trying to think of a reason. I chuckle heartlessly.
Meeting with the film crew. He says hello to "Leslie" and she blows him off. Sam finds out he has to start writing his script because they're filming his movie second. Mike grinds him a little and Sam thinks, "for a mellow-looking surfer dude, this Mike guy is pretty uptight." Well, for a laid-back slacker, you can get pretty pissy, Sam. I think Sam might be the male version of Dawn Schafer, guys.
Sam finds out that "Leslie" is really Chris.
"Thought Book" entry: Worrying about how Liz will feel when he finally tells her about the docu being a no-go, hating the locked out assignment, hating the prof, worrying about how Chris might feel about Liz and vis versa even though they are not even going out, obsessing over Lila's motives for being in his film, insulting Lila, Lila, Lila, Lila, Chris, Lila.
The first day of shooting American Pie geek #1's film. And yes, Sam's still calling them that. Sam is operating the boom mike and he and Chris are kind of working together. He helps her out because she's kind of slow (not that kind of slow). He perves on her again. She has to hold onto him so he can lean a certain way and they have to spend a lot of time with their bodies close together. I don't know. He thinks she's into him. Pfft. I'm so over Sam.
The next day they're finishing the shoot on location at SVU. He spends almost a whole page thinking about why he's better than Jess and Liz's "cookiecutter" friends. Well, yeah, some of them are pretty lame. Then Lila shows up and interrupts the scene, for which she gracefully apologizes. Sam backs off of Chris, who introduces herself to Lila and promptly gets shut down. She asks Sam when they're working on his film. Mike interrupts and rudely says that Sam should "take [his] starlet to the casting couch later." Lila asks Mike his name, and then silences him with a "talk to the hand" gesture. Yes! Pwned, baby.
Lila and Sam make plans to discuss the script. As Lila slinks off, the geeks wave goodbye and one of them actually says, "Thank you." I like to think he's thanking her for coming into their lives.
Sam and Chris are out on a date. Things are going well until Sam mentions getting a book for class about acting that Chris doesn't know about. He further embarrasses her about it, causing her to get up and go to the restroom. Then he writes a "Thoughts Book" entry on a napkin and belittles her for not knowing about Stanislavsky. Um, I've taken two acting classes. Should I know who he is?
Jess and Lila enter so they can once again save us. They join Sam and Chris, now back from the restroom, and Lila gives him a kiss on the cheek. Oooh. Sam can't concentrate on poor Chris now, because he's so busy oogling Lila. Oooh-er. Lila decides she wants to dance even though there's no dance floor. Then! She snaps her fingers and a bunch of Thetas surround them. And like a small SWAT team of scantily clad hotties, Lila and her minions set about clearing a section of [the bar] for their own personal disco. Sam watches her dance and realizes it was her own moxie--even more than money--that made her capable of doing and getting whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.
That's how Lila does it, you guys. Moxie! ... or something.
Chris and Sam start to head out. As he passes by, LILA PINCHES HIS BUTT. And he's all OMG OMG what do I do? He says it's wrong when a guy pinches a girl's butt, which I can't believe a playa like him would say, and that it's different when a girl does it to a guy. Anyway, he has an idea for a script. He wants to make fun of Lila and her "filthy money." So, a lot of money = dirty. Does a little money = clean? The story, btw, is Lila's character gets locked out of her house and instead of getting a new key, she replaces everything behind the locked door. Not bad, huh?
But never underestimate Lila Fowler. When he shows her the script while in her massive bedroom at the Theta house, she thinks it's hilarious. "Don't you think I know how to laugh at myself?" I think I'm swooning a little, guys. They flirt but before it goes anywhere interesting, Lila has to join her friends.
Sam thinks that things are "going well for him in the ladies department," which makes me think that he suddenly has a job at Nordstrom's or something and just got a raise. He thinks both Chris and Lila want him and likes that Liz is being "extra nice."
Chris is shooting her film and all uncertain and second-guessing herself. I think Sam's frustration with her is kind of whack. Anyway, Lila interrupts and hands him back the script. She's made some changes. Sam is not impressed. Lila is cool about it and just drives off. Another "Thought Book" entry with him fuming about Lila always getting her way. Blah.
Sam's finally shooting his film. He's decided he likes her script changes since they didn't really interfere with the actual story. Things are going smoothly and her commanding presence has turned the American Pie geeks into "lapdogs." Driving to a different location, Lila takes Sam on a detour ... to get some McDonald's french fries. Yawn. They finish the shoot and Lila and Sam congratulate each other. Flirt, flirt, make out ... wait, what boyfriend?
That's right: our guy Bruce is spending a semester abroad. "I'm sure Bruce is seeing girls in Paris," Lila reasons. She wants Sam to be her kept man while Bruce is away. Curiously, this is kind of a turn-off for Sam. He doesn't know what he wants. That night, he can't sleep, opting instead to write in his "Thought Book." Sam, give it up.
The next day, everything finally comes to a head. Chris and Sam sort-of flirt, Lila calls them on it, Chris and Lila unsheath their claws, Liz stumbles onto the shoot, and Sam has blown it. Liz realizes that he has no time for the inner-city kids docu and stomps off. Afterwards, Sam tries to ask Lila out, but she says that she has since talked to Bruce and since he's not dating anyone else (and why would he, having Lila), she won't either. At least they'll always have "Locked Out: Lila's Story."
Back at the house. Sam is playing video games and Neil joins him. They've been hearing about Lila and Sam from Jess, so they know all about it. Sam later calls Lila and invites her to a cast party which we do not get to see. A Sweet Valley book with no party? Shock!
The last scene is Sam hauling a huge-ass handheld camera (22L, whatevs that means) and making up with a reluctant Liz. He promises her the docu will be a reality soon, and pervs on her a little, lest we forget that Sam Burgess can't function without thinking about the babes.
This guy is half the reason Liz runs away to England (the other half being Jess)? I scoff at the thought!
I'm sorry to the mods in advance if this doesn't work! Feel free to take it off if it doesn't. I'll save the recap.
Uh ... the cover's really not much to look at. The words "Secret Love Diaries" take up half the page, below a headshot of Sam, who looks like a smug 30-year-old asshole. Which is actually not a bad description.
So, this being a kinda-sorta special edition, it's all from Sam's POV. And then, right there on page 1, we get our first peek at "Sam Burgess's Thought Book." Say what? "Thought Book"? What's wrong with "journal"? I am not impressed. Anyway, he writes about how snobby SVU people are and how they always snub him because he goes to Orange County College. But he lives with Elizabeth, Jessica, and awesome Neil (more later), who all go to SVU. He says he won't let his parents pay for his education, which doesn't endear me to him because I'm at college right now and will have mountains of loans to pay when I'm done.
He doesn't seem to like Jess at all and calls Liz "tiresome" and whiny but a good friend. He likes Neil a lot because he's awesome, first of all, and because he teases the twins and doesn't worship them, and because he, like Sam, cannot rely on his parents to pay for college. They've disowned him because he's gay. This book doesn't do justice to Neil's awesomeness, which is featured more prominently in the Road Trip trilogy.
Sam finishes his "Thought Book" entry by dissing all SVU girls. Although, he never calls them "girls." He calls them "chicks," "babes," and "cuties." There's also a "mamacita." I am further not impressed. Sam thinks a lot of himself, btw.
Sam's playing Lara Croft: Tomb Raider at the house when Neil comes in. Neil remarks that he hasn't seen the hard-partying Sam around in a while. Then he does a kind of X-Files skit, pretending to be both Mulder and Scully discussing if such a creature like Sam Burgess really exists. It goes on for too long, but it's sort of funny. But it shows that Sam doesn't do any chores or help out around the house or has any purpose at all. Then Neil leaves him be, and Sam wonders if "he was a good guy." No, Sam. You kind of suck.
A couple of days pass and Sam is still wondering if he could be a better person. He heads into the kitchen where Liz and Neil are talking. Liz is going to be student teaching at some inner-city L.A. school (how saintly) and Neil is going to intern for a news station. They get in a couple of jabs at Sam for being a lazy slob. And then! Jessica and the fab Lila Fowler come in! Save us, Lila. Turns out they're busy doing stuff for the Theta rush week. So, everyone is doing something with their lives but Sam.
They tease Sam because this guy's such an easy target, and Lila insults OCC. Sam thinks that she's a "rich snob" and checks her out within two sentences. Lila notices and rolls her eyes. Sam actually has the gull to say, "You wish, Fowler." She does not! Fortunately, her reaction is comforting: she says, "Yeah, right" and shakes her head as if to take pity on a lesser being.
The second "Thought Book" entry: Sam bitches about Lila being daddy's little rich girl and getting everything she wants. He also contemplates his own lack of ambition. We get this gem: "I can tell that Elizabeth is judging me all the time ..." You and the whole world, buddy.
Chapter 2. Yikes, I have a lot to say. So Sam goes to his favorite bar and finds out they're making a documentary about historical So Cal bars. He hits on a crew member and basically asks if he can be in it. He gets to watch the filmmakers in action and suddenly decides that filmmaking is his "calling." The next day he goes to school to add a film class to his schedule. He's already thinking about the kinds of "babes" he wants to "cast" in his unnamed documentary. He meets up with his friend Bugsy (???) and excitedly tells him about his new love of films. Bugsy expresses doubt. I yawn.
Sam gets a big burst of energy and decides to clean up the house, starting with the dishes he was supposed to do days ago. He daydreams about how successful he'll be as a director and decides that "like Adam Sandler, he would wear jeans and T-shirts on talk shows, keeping it real." Funnily enough, I saw Adam Sandler on The Daily Show and that's what he really wore. But I don't know what that's supposed to do with "keeping it real." Sounds to me like the guy wants to maintain an image.
Anyway, Neil and Liz arrive to see Sam sweeping and the dirty dishes soaking. Sam tells him about his big revelation. They're just happy he's cleaning. Later, he tries to explain to Liz what he wants to make his docu about, but even he doesn't really know. Something to do with "keeping it real," I guess. Then Jess and Lila come in and are impressed with Sam's cleaning skillz. Lila awesomely calls Sam out on his lame "misspent-youth scene." His heart skips. No, seriously.
Then he kind of blurts out that his docu will be about Liz and the inner-city kids she's working with. Liz agrees to it, even though this is the first time he mentions the idea.
First day of film class. Sam is pretty psyched. Then he finds out what he has to do for the class: he'll have to write and direct three short films while in a group of five and while helping the other four by being on their crew. Got all that? I didn't understand it when I first read this. Each film has a theme, and the first 4-minute film will be about someone who gets locked out of their house. Yeah. Sam thinks the prof and the class is completely bogus and becomes a bit disillusioned. I can actually feel for him a little here, because I always feel overwhelmed on the first day of class.
Oh, goody, another "Thought Book" entry (in the middle of class). Sam complains about everything - the class, the students, the prof. He pervs about this one girl, some Jewel-lookalike, and says she must be "one of those girls who considers her body to be a temple. Well, that's one temple I'd like to worship in!" Ew.
Prof assigns groups and Sam hopes he gets Jewel. He daydreams about a possible romantic scene between him and her for one of their movies. Bwah. He finds his group and sees that Jewel is there. What a surprise. He's too busy perving on her to catch her name and thinks it's Leslie. In another "Thought Book" entry, he describes himself as "The Man" and the three guys in his group as "the geeks from American Pie," which strikes me as random. (FYI, this book was printed in 2000, so it's pretty topical, I guess.)
The next scene takes place at the house and we are reminded that Sam has told Liz about his inner-city kids docu. Now he knows he won't have time to film (forget time, how about experience or money?), but he can't bring himself to tell Liz. Instead he promises to go to the school with her tomorrow to scope it out. He admits that he cares about what Liz thinks about him. Dude's got it bad.
He rides in with her to the school. Nothing really happens except he feels more guilty that he won't be able to keep his promise. Although he never actually promised Liz he'd do it, he just kind of declares it.
If you're asking yourself, "Where's Lila?" right now, as I did when I first read this, fear not. She's on her way!
The day after, Sam realizes he missed a meeting with the film crew. He thinks he can call Jewel/Leslie and "be able to turn on the old Burgess charm." Then he realizes that he's not even sure that Leslie is her name - could it be Chris? He calls "Leslie's" number (the crew members all wrote down their numbers) and a guy answers. Sam hangs up. Smooth. He ends up calling Mike, one of the American Pie geeks, who rightly gives him a hard time for missing the meeting. Turns out they all decided that since he missed it, he has to pay for the camera they'll need instead of each one contributing some money for it. He'll get reimbursed for it, but the school wants people to have to buy it. I don't know.
He goes to some camera/film shop and finds out that he only has enough money to buy a crappy lens and not the good lens (Xj6 v. Xj7, for you camera geeks). And then, like some miraculous angel, Lila enters the shop and promises to pay for everything ...
IF ...
Sam will let her be in his movie. He agrees. Then he questions why she would want to be in it. He drives himself crazy trying to think of a reason. I chuckle heartlessly.
Meeting with the film crew. He says hello to "Leslie" and she blows him off. Sam finds out he has to start writing his script because they're filming his movie second. Mike grinds him a little and Sam thinks, "for a mellow-looking surfer dude, this Mike guy is pretty uptight." Well, for a laid-back slacker, you can get pretty pissy, Sam. I think Sam might be the male version of Dawn Schafer, guys.
Sam finds out that "Leslie" is really Chris.
"Thought Book" entry: Worrying about how Liz will feel when he finally tells her about the docu being a no-go, hating the locked out assignment, hating the prof, worrying about how Chris might feel about Liz and vis versa even though they are not even going out, obsessing over Lila's motives for being in his film, insulting Lila, Lila, Lila, Lila, Chris, Lila.
The first day of shooting American Pie geek #1's film. And yes, Sam's still calling them that. Sam is operating the boom mike and he and Chris are kind of working together. He helps her out because she's kind of slow (not that kind of slow). He perves on her again. She has to hold onto him so he can lean a certain way and they have to spend a lot of time with their bodies close together. I don't know. He thinks she's into him. Pfft. I'm so over Sam.
The next day they're finishing the shoot on location at SVU. He spends almost a whole page thinking about why he's better than Jess and Liz's "cookiecutter" friends. Well, yeah, some of them are pretty lame. Then Lila shows up and interrupts the scene, for which she gracefully apologizes. Sam backs off of Chris, who introduces herself to Lila and promptly gets shut down. She asks Sam when they're working on his film. Mike interrupts and rudely says that Sam should "take [his] starlet to the casting couch later." Lila asks Mike his name, and then silences him with a "talk to the hand" gesture. Yes! Pwned, baby.
Lila and Sam make plans to discuss the script. As Lila slinks off, the geeks wave goodbye and one of them actually says, "Thank you." I like to think he's thanking her for coming into their lives.
Sam and Chris are out on a date. Things are going well until Sam mentions getting a book for class about acting that Chris doesn't know about. He further embarrasses her about it, causing her to get up and go to the restroom. Then he writes a "Thoughts Book" entry on a napkin and belittles her for not knowing about Stanislavsky. Um, I've taken two acting classes. Should I know who he is?
Jess and Lila enter so they can once again save us. They join Sam and Chris, now back from the restroom, and Lila gives him a kiss on the cheek. Oooh. Sam can't concentrate on poor Chris now, because he's so busy oogling Lila. Oooh-er. Lila decides she wants to dance even though there's no dance floor. Then! She snaps her fingers and a bunch of Thetas surround them. And like a small SWAT team of scantily clad hotties, Lila and her minions set about clearing a section of [the bar] for their own personal disco. Sam watches her dance and realizes it was her own moxie--even more than money--that made her capable of doing and getting whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.
That's how Lila does it, you guys. Moxie! ... or something.
Chris and Sam start to head out. As he passes by, LILA PINCHES HIS BUTT. And he's all OMG OMG what do I do? He says it's wrong when a guy pinches a girl's butt, which I can't believe a playa like him would say, and that it's different when a girl does it to a guy. Anyway, he has an idea for a script. He wants to make fun of Lila and her "filthy money." So, a lot of money = dirty. Does a little money = clean? The story, btw, is Lila's character gets locked out of her house and instead of getting a new key, she replaces everything behind the locked door. Not bad, huh?
But never underestimate Lila Fowler. When he shows her the script while in her massive bedroom at the Theta house, she thinks it's hilarious. "Don't you think I know how to laugh at myself?" I think I'm swooning a little, guys. They flirt but before it goes anywhere interesting, Lila has to join her friends.
Sam thinks that things are "going well for him in the ladies department," which makes me think that he suddenly has a job at Nordstrom's or something and just got a raise. He thinks both Chris and Lila want him and likes that Liz is being "extra nice."
Chris is shooting her film and all uncertain and second-guessing herself. I think Sam's frustration with her is kind of whack. Anyway, Lila interrupts and hands him back the script. She's made some changes. Sam is not impressed. Lila is cool about it and just drives off. Another "Thought Book" entry with him fuming about Lila always getting her way. Blah.
Sam's finally shooting his film. He's decided he likes her script changes since they didn't really interfere with the actual story. Things are going smoothly and her commanding presence has turned the American Pie geeks into "lapdogs." Driving to a different location, Lila takes Sam on a detour ... to get some McDonald's french fries. Yawn. They finish the shoot and Lila and Sam congratulate each other. Flirt, flirt, make out ... wait, what boyfriend?
That's right: our guy Bruce is spending a semester abroad. "I'm sure Bruce is seeing girls in Paris," Lila reasons. She wants Sam to be her kept man while Bruce is away. Curiously, this is kind of a turn-off for Sam. He doesn't know what he wants. That night, he can't sleep, opting instead to write in his "Thought Book." Sam, give it up.
The next day, everything finally comes to a head. Chris and Sam sort-of flirt, Lila calls them on it, Chris and Lila unsheath their claws, Liz stumbles onto the shoot, and Sam has blown it. Liz realizes that he has no time for the inner-city kids docu and stomps off. Afterwards, Sam tries to ask Lila out, but she says that she has since talked to Bruce and since he's not dating anyone else (and why would he, having Lila), she won't either. At least they'll always have "Locked Out: Lila's Story."
Back at the house. Sam is playing video games and Neil joins him. They've been hearing about Lila and Sam from Jess, so they know all about it. Sam later calls Lila and invites her to a cast party which we do not get to see. A Sweet Valley book with no party? Shock!
The last scene is Sam hauling a huge-ass handheld camera (22L, whatevs that means) and making up with a reluctant Liz. He promises her the docu will be a reality soon, and pervs on her a little, lest we forget that Sam Burgess can't function without thinking about the babes.
This guy is half the reason Liz runs away to England (the other half being Jess)? I scoff at the thought!