First paragraph- I'm confused as to 'the Haitian, his daughter or his grandson.' Is this the Rene's daughter/grandson or Noah's? If the latter, consider adding 'his own daughter or grandson.' Again- fortunately not fourantly. “You looked like you could use some company, that’s all.” Sylar replies quietly. Change the period after 'all.' to a comma. Because 'Sylar replies quietly.' is describing what he just said. It is a continuation. Tentatively not tentavitally. (Oh, that word! Such a good word, so hard to type!. Barely not barley, dying not dyeing (unless there's a mass uprising of hair dye-ing going on?) surely not surly (don't call me Shirley), severe not sever, realization not relaztion, scent not sent. All that to say, a spell check would go a long ways and be quite easy for you :) This is another wonderful piece. So many small details go much farther than you probably intended. Good job again.
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Again- fortunately not fourantly.
“You looked like you could use some company, that’s all.” Sylar replies quietly. Change the period after 'all.' to a comma. Because 'Sylar replies quietly.' is describing what he just said. It is a continuation.
Tentatively not tentavitally. (Oh, that word! Such a good word, so hard to type!. Barely not barley, dying not dyeing (unless there's a mass uprising of hair dye-ing going on?) surely not surly (don't call me Shirley), severe not sever, realization not relaztion, scent not sent.
All that to say, a spell check would go a long ways and be quite easy for you :)
This is another wonderful piece. So many small details go much farther than you probably intended. Good job again.
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