Fortune Challenge by Beautybecks
Title: Cause for celebration (1/1)
Author: er... me, beautybecks
Pairings: Sam/Gene, Gene/Missus, Sam/Annie, kind of Gene/Annie, Gene/Ray, Annie/Missus, Sam/Gene/Annie, Chris/Ray
Ratings: is there a psychedelic Cortina? I'll have to settle for blue then (or maybe red if m-preg squicks you)
Summary: Congratulations DCI Hunt, you're pregnant.
Word Count: 3289
Warnings: slash, femmeslash, AU, crack, m-preg, cliché, poor writing, unbetad as usually (so if you spot any mistakes, please tell me,) all of those and maybe more.
Disclaimer: characters aren't mine, unfortunately, my brain is.
AN: written for the
1973flashfic
challenge, 'Fortune', more crack because it appears that's all I can write at the moment. A complete one-shot, this is too weird for me to write more of it, but if anyone else wants to, feel free >:)
Cause for Celebration
Sam is talking to Gene, correction, talking AT Gene, Gene is still half-asleep. At this hour of the morning he has a right to be, and he's been feeling a bit off recently. He reckons he'll be okay once he'd had a bit of kip but that's a hard thing to do when you've got your DI yapping on at you. Yet as soon as he opens his mouth to tell Gladys to shut up,
Sam ends up with vomit all over his leather jacket. A look of utter disgust on his face but at least he buggers off, and Gene's too tired to care. He falls asleep, his head upon his desk.
The first couple of times that happens, Sam is angry with Gene of course, labelling it a hangover. What else could it be? But it's fear misplaced as anger, he hates to see Gene so dependant on alcohol and he's so scared he'll lose him to it. It's still not enough to displace the anger though, not yet.
Several days is enough for it to pass though, Gene has barely left his office all week and despite his efforts not to, Sam can feel concern gnawing away at his stomach. Eventually he caves in and decides to take in a cup of tea and an egg sarnie to Gene. Even Ray thinks he's brave for entering the office but Sam knows that it's not bravery.
Gene looks so peaceful, his hair is sticking up in all directions, desk-head doesn't quite have the same ring to it but it makes Sam smile. He looks almost innocent, like a cherub. Sam shakes off that thought, just because he has beautiful golden hair and the most amazing eyes, skin so white it's almost glowing...
“Gene, Gene, wake up.” Gene's eyes flutter open and Sam tries to steady his heartbeat. “I've got you breakfast.”
“What is it?” Gene mutters, sounding like crap and Sam can't help himself, he places a hand on Gene's back. He can feel Gene's pulse, his heartbeat through the palm of his hand. It feels so intimate, Sam has to pull away.
“Egg butty.” Sam waves it in front of Gene's face, making Gene turn green and Sam's able to get out of the way this time before Gene pukes. “Jesus, are you alright?” Sam asks a stupid question and all Gene can do is groan, clutching his stomach which hurts from chucking up so often. “You've got to see a Doctor, Guv.”
“Do I heck as like Gladys, I'll be fine.” but then he passes out unconscious on his desk. Sam considers calling the Doctor but when Gene does regain consciousness, his life wouldn't be worth living. The best he can do is take Gene at his word, something that always goes against his nature, and get on with his job. But the department just isn't the same without the Guv, without the sheriff. Everyone is distracted, most of all Sam so the city is without it's Sheriff and it's Deputy. But at least it has Phyliss.
“Sam, we need you to concentrate.” Annie tells him. “We're all worried but the Guv is a cockroach, he'll survive. And he won't be happy to see we've run his city into the ground!” Sam owes Annie a lot, she always knows how to get the best out of him, always knows what he needs. She's even enough to distract him from Gene, purely work-wise of course. It's not as if he needs distracting from Gene whilst he's making love to her, because that would be fucked up, wouldn't it?
Finally, beer o'clock and Manchester is still standing. True they've let a few fish get away but they'll still be there for Gene to fry another day. Sam shakes his head, Gene is having a bad effect on him, rubbing off on him and damn if that doesn't give him not entirely unwanted imagery. He knocks on the door to Gene's office, trying to swallow against the sudden rush of moisture in his mouth.
“What is it?” Gene growls.
“Beer o'clock.” 3 syllables, but they're enough to perk Gene right up.
“Why didn't you say?” Gene has got his coat on and is already out of the door, Sam feels a little easier...
Until they're at the Railway Arms and Gene spews up straight away, hasn't even had a sip of his drink and that's just not right.
“Give me your keys.” Sam orders. “I'm taking you to see a Doctor.” Gene shakes his head, trying to get his breath back.
“No,” Gene protest. “let's take your car.” he's still fighting for breath. “I'm not risking the interior of the Cortina.” Sam nods, trying not to smile.
Sam stays with Gene at the Doctors. To be honest Gene is kinda scared of doctors, has been every since he was a boy. He doesn't like anybody looking at him that closely. Gene hadn't asked Sam to stay of course but Sam could tell, they have this mind reading connection thing going which made them work so well as a team.
But mind-reader or not, nothing could have prepared him for this: “well, I'm not sure Congratulations is in order,” the Doctor smiles smugly, “but I can tell you that you are pregnant, DCI Hunt!”
“Bloody hell!” Gene curses and Sam can't say anything, he just kind of faints but thankfully he's in the right place for it. When he finally comes too the Doctor is gone and he's being slapped by Gene, not lightly either. “You've got some explaining to do Sammy-boy.” Sam has some... what?
“What do you mean? How the hell did you get pregnant? You're a guy for God's sake, I know you're a guy, I've seen... shit.” Sam's head is spinning and he's on the verge of passing out again but Gene hauls him to his feet, shaking him like a rag-doll.
“The only way I could be in this state,” Gene's hands are clenched, and Sam's feeling rather scared, “was if I shagged an alien and since I've been shagging my Missus for over twenty years now, I can safely assume it's not because of her!” Gene's eyes are bright with anger and ever so distracting and who would blame Sam for trying to escape into such a beautiful void right now. “Talk, Tyler!”
“How can you be an alien? I went back in time I didn't wake up on a different planet!” Sam screams and suddenly Gene turns into a genius.
“Hang on a second, Gladys.” huh, the girl names never were more appropriate. “Annie told me about this stuff, you said you were from 2006, Earth by any chance? 'cos if you had some sort of accident, coma victims, don't need no space-ship, your essence, your soul, your personality can travel here faster than the speed of light, and soon as you enter our orbit you get a body, the way our world was devised.”
“Your world?” Sam echoes, shaking his head 'cos that's not Gene speaking. Was his voice though, his gruff voice, roughened by fags and booze, oddly soothing.
“Oi! Dorothy, stop going off with the fairies and listen to me!” Sam tries to hide the blush threatening to creep onto his cheeks. “Yeah, our world. Mars P38-672. And before you ask how I can be pregnant, I dunno, we were just designed that way. You can only get pregnant with an alien and it's 50/50 as to which one'll get pregnant, sometimes it's both.” Gene looks at Sam but Sam dismisses it straight away.
“How am I supposed to tell Annie?” Sam grimaces but Gene reckons she'd be fine with it. If little Chris figured out Sam and Gene were playing 'hide the sausage,' observant Annie has to know.
“I reckon we ring up the girls and ask 'em to meet us, here 'cos if the missus is gonna batter me to death at least I'm in the right place for it.” Sam is more than slightly intimidated at the prospect of meeting Mrs. Hunt, he rings Annie first.
The women enter together, whispering and giggling and Sam has never felt so scared in his life. Gene thumps him for good measure and tells him to stop being such a wuss but Gene has gone an unearthly shade of white. Not that they are on Earth.
“How are you are you coping with the news, sir? I would have told you but I always thought he'd be the one to get pregnant. How are you holding up, morning sickness can be terrible I hear.” Annie heads straight to Gene, running her hand through his hair, pulling him down for a loving kiss, one that makes Sam's eyes boggle.
“You didn't think you were the only one, did you?” the woman he assumes is Mrs. Hunt laughs at him. “You're the latest in a long line of conquest, everyone finds my husband irresistible Just ask your DS.” Sam thinks about that and squicks out, but at least it makes his paranoia justified. “Don't worry, that was years ago. You're his favourite deputy dawg at the moment.”
“Leave him alone, Cathy, he's had a lot to take in today, he don't need you teasing him.” Gene defends, once he's disentangled himself from Annie's tongue.
“I can't believe you got yourself pregnant!” Cathy scolds him.
“I only let him fuck me once.” Gene tells her but Annie smirks,
“And how many times did you fuck him?” she asks, a glint in her eye, positively smouldering. Gene can feel his lips twitch upwards in response and snogs her again, just because she's closest. She's not complaining. No, she's moaning and Sam can't hide the jealousy he feels.
“Ah, but just who are you jealous of Sam?” Mrs. Hunt teases, she already knows the answer. It isn't Annie Sam and Ray keep getting into pissing contests over. “Annie, maybe we should leave the boys to do it.” Cathy uses her come-to-bed eyes, Gene whimpers but they're not directed at him.
“Yeah, it's more fun with us girls any way.” Annie smiles and Sam can see Gene's got a hard-on. Damn, that guy is such a slut. It doesn't stop Sam from wishing he was his slut though. “See you later lover-boy.” She snogs Gene again, only parting when she's ran out of breath. And it's only fair she kisses her boyfriend goodbye too. “You too, Sam.” she considers kissing him on the cheek, just to frustrate him but a brainwave hits her and she snogs him too.
Sam can taste Gene on her lips, trying to delve deeper, desperate for that taste, he closes his eyes, trying to imagine the feel of stubble instead her perfectly smooth skin, the musky smell of Gene instead of her clean, sweet smell. It's not that he doesn't love her, but she's such a girl, she's not Gene. Fuck. “Gene.” Sam moans, making the girls chuckle as Annie pulls away. Gene's staring at Sam like he's grown a second head but he's soon distracted.
“No way Annie, I'm not snogging you until you've washed your mouth out.” Cathy warns but Annie's looking determined and Cathy gives in. The most passionate snog of all and they stumble out of the room, mouths still attached. Gene's mouth is wide open and his dick is rock hard. Sam can't stand it any longer.
“Well, whist the girls are away...” but Gene's still staring at the doorway, even though the girls are long since gone. Sam walks over to Gene, presses his body, and more specifically his erection, against Gene's. “Do you want a hand with that?” any retort Gene was about to come back with is silenced by a kiss.
The next few months are torture for Gene, he isn't able to keep his pregnancy secret for long, not with the symptoms being so blatantly obvious. He's the laughing stock of the department but when Ray starts having a go at him, insulting Sam, Gene snaps and ends up breaking Ray's nose. Nobody questions his masculinity after that. Chris gives him a few dodgy looks, like Gene has stamped all over his favourite toy. Gene just blames it on the hormones and locks himself in his office for the rest of the day.
What Gene really can't stand is Sam's constant mothering, it strikes him as ironic but most of all it's just bloody infuriating. He's pregnant, not an invalid. Although, he really does appreciate it when Sam comes running at 3am, bringing chocolate and pickles. And sex. It really does boost the ego to have a man lusting after you, even when you're all bloated and pregnant. Yeah, sometimes Gene could be as soppy as Sam...
Gene moves in with Annie and Sam a couple of months before the baby is due. Partly so Gene can keep more up to date with work since he isn't actually allowed to work any more, just paperwork and that's as boring as watching grass dry, but Gene has been reduced to it. Also partly to stop Sam from fretting and partly because they are all so in love with each other it kind of seemed logical. At least this way no one is being left out. Well, except for the missus but she was only ever an off-screen character in the show so she doesn't really count.
“Annie!!!” Gene whines. “Please can you take him away, he's doing my head in.” Sam looks hurt.
“I only want to make sure you and the baby are alright,” Sam sulks, making Gene feel guilty. “Make sure you're comfortable.”
“Yeah, well all your fussing is making me uncomfortable. I'm sorry, Sam.” and Sam looks as though he's about to cry, biting on his lip to stop himself and Gene's about this close to telling him to forget about it and just give him a hug when he's saved from the sappiness by Annie.
“Is he molly-coddling you again?” Annie asks because they all know Gene doesn't need molly-coddling, but sometimes Sam can't help himself. Gene needs love and affection, craves it but he's not used to it. He's not used to the attention.
“Woah.” Gene starts out form up off the bed. “Bloody strong bugger, reckon he'll end up playing for Man City when he's older.”
“Can I feel?” Annie asks, and Gene nods.
“You just want me with me top off.” Gene smiles and Annie smile grows at that.
“Always.” she put her hand under his jumper, laughing as she can feel the baby kick. They still don't know whether it's a boy or a girl, haven't bothered to find out. Sam wants a boy, Annie wants a girl and Gene doesn't care so long as it's healthy. It's going to be well-loved, Gene knows that for sure.
“Oh for goodness sake Gladys, don't just stand there sulking, all you've got to do is ask.” Sam swallows the lump in his throat.
“Can I?”
“Course.” Gene lifts up his jumper even further and Sam places his hand on the bulging stomach, allowing the warmth of Gene to seep through the palm of his hand. His hand caressing Gene's skin, he almost forgets about the baby.
“Wow.” Sam breathes.
“Y'know, I can't wait until the wee one is born and then you can fuss over the little love and stop fussing over me.” Gene tells him and Sam laughs weakly.
“You're never gonna learn that he's cooing over you, are you?” Annie has to voice what she's known all along. “He loves you.”
“Why would he want to do sommat like that, then?” Gene asks, looking at Sam to deny it but he can't.
“Just, let me love you, will you?” Sam begs.
“I don't think I know how.” Gene admits, in a whisper. Annie almost feels like a voyeur. Sam places the most innocent kiss on Gene's lips. It's all it takes, Gene smiles and nods. “But I guess I could give it a go.”
Sam and Annie are both present at the operation, Gene is under a local anaesthetic, wide awake, it's only his stomach which is numb. Annie is watching as the surgeons cut him open but Sam is busy stroking Gene's hair with one hand, holding Gene's hand with the other, even snatching the odd kiss or a dozen. And Annie thought she was supposed to be the girl in this relationship.
There are complications with the surgery, Gene's much more of a boy than most boys on this planet and that goes anatomically too. Sam is scared, terrified and it's up to Annie to console him. The next few hours are torture for them both, a couple of hours in they hear that they've got a beautiful and healthy baby girl but Gene is still in a critical condition. They are allowed to see the girl if they want to, Annie is desperate to but Sam's not too sure, trying too hard to hold back tears to be able to think straight.
Eventually, Sam manages to stop shaking and agrees to see his daughter. He finds Annie cradling her, the thing is so tiny but so perfect. She's still covered in Gene's blood, he can't bring himself to hold her. She's already got hair on her head. Dirty blonde. Her eyes are no doubt blue and she's gurgling, so innocent and happy in Annie's arms. Sam breaks down into sobs.
They decide to call her Destiny and she's the most beautiful girl ever, but of course they could be biased. Even Phyliss falls in love with her, babysits every now and again, not that they'll let her out of their sights much. They've taken to bringing her to work, she distracts the whole department of course but it's worth it for the peace of mind.
Gene is quite the father, he's made the entire department cut down on smoking just so she'll have clean(er) air to breathe. And they've all gladly done it, a, because Gene asked them and b, because she's so cute, you seriously wouldn't want to pollute her. Gene's also rather good at making the team work, reminding them they have jobs to get on with. He's balancing being a DCI and a father remarkably well, they're both so integral to his life, they make who he is.
Gene and Sam are adorable parents, they really are. Gene's a soppy sod at heart, he spoils her rotten, and Sam spoils Gene rotten too. It's usually up to Annie to be the strict one but if she ever feels too guilty or outnumbered she's always got Cathy to call on for back-up. Life is pretty much miraculous, both at work and home and if she ever feels down, she can rely on someone to cheer her up. She's made herself quite the family, couldn't have done better.
Even the boys at work, they've shaped up well. They've accepted her, accepted Destiny and it is more than she could have ever hoped for. Chris still plays the clown but it's guaranteed to get a laugh out of Destiny. And when she's being particularly fussy, a hug from Ray always shuts her up. All these big macho men, they're just big softies at heart and Annie wouldn't have it any other way.
“Erm... listen up!” Ray orders, and the department is quiet. Well, all apart from Gene's chuckling, leaning in the doorway of his office, looking at Ray expectantly. Annie looks at Gene, looks at Ray, looks at Chris, who's wearing a baggy jumper. She knows what's coming...
FIN
AN: please forgive me, and feedback would be great, mostly so I know you don't hate me *runs and hides*