Issue #001 (collector's edition!)

[1800deadpoo]

[Waking up in a strange place with no memory of how he got there is...actually not unusual in the least for Deadpool.  The pretty lady in the bed's a bit more surprising - even hookers hesitate when it comes to his skin - but hey, he's got no complaints here other than the fact that he somehow managed to forget getting laid.  He's about to wake the

Comments

[imwotchingyou]

What the bloody hell did you just say?

[1800deadpoo]

Uh, Bueller? Chimichanga? I dunno, nobody told me there was gonna be a test!

[imwotchingyou]

This isn't a bloody test but at any time, should you feel like speaking common sense, feel free.

Did you just arrive?

[1800deadpoo]

But mommy, I wanna be one of the special snowflakes! Uncommon sense is way more fun!

Yup, looks like it. Are you my handy-dandy Exposition Fairy, then?

[worst_apple]

[Hang up that phone, brah. It's about to get ugly.

Elly wakes up very slowly, having hogged all the pillows and surrounded her sunny-haired head with them. She only opens one eye to look at him.

Something woke her up, and this time it's not the sun. Frantically, she reaches for her night cap--jostled away by sleep--and scrambles away from him until she falls out of bed in a tangle of bedding.]

Y--y-you! WHO ARE YOU?

[She's screeching for just a moment before she gets to her feet with a grace she doesn't look like she ought to have, and a pair of shears come flying in through the bedroom window, landing daintily on her hand. Moe to deadly in ten seconds.]

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

[1800deadpoo]

[He doesn't bat an eye at the shears - Deadpool's more than used to pretty girls with super powers who can kick ass.]

I was about to ask you the same thing, lady! [Beat.] Well, no, I was gonna ask you if you were up for testing out the bed again, but eventually, identities would have been brought up! Probably! Assuming the sex is good! Which it had to have been, if I blew your mind so much that you can't remember anything either.

[worst_apple]

[What. What. What. WHAT????]

S-s-s-s-s-s-s... [She can't even say it...]

Y-you! I-I don't know who you are but I didn't do anything like that! I would never do anything like that! YOU'RE A HUMAN!

[1800deadpoo]

Am not! I'm a mutant! [He's not.] And you should be ashamed of yourself, that's specieism and anti-mutant sentiment! And anyway, aliens should just go back to Krypton or wherever instead of taking away jobs from us hard-working humans.

[riastrad_ridire]

'Flashback mode'? What are you talking about?

[1800deadpoo]

Y'know, the whole 'and now a trip down Memory Lane for the readers' schtick? 'Cept I don't actually remember this place...maybe they're trying to pull another retcon on me...

[riastrad_ridire]

I don't think you're going to remember this place. I don't, and apparently I've been here before.

[1800deadpoo]

Oh man, you get random memory blackouts too? I gotta say, though, this is probably the second -- nah, third weirdest one I've had.

[perfectvoice]

...Flashback mode?

Ah, hi! You're in Mayfield now.

[1800deadpoo]

Yup, though it's starting to seem like that's not what's going on here.

Great! Where the hell is Mayfield? And more importantly, where's all my stuff?

[perfectvoice]

Ah...I don't really know, either. Anyway, a lot of people say you can get your things at the post office, but from a letter I read when I got here, it's not the best idea.

[1800deadpoo]

Ugh, I never trusted those UPS guys to begin with! First they keep arriving when I'm never home, and now they're stealing my stuff? Fiends! They won't be allowed to get away with this!

From one fourth wall breaker to another.

[kerorodearimasu]

Gero, this isn't a flashback mode, de arimasu. This is Mayfield and we're all stuck here.

[1800deadpoo]

Whaddya mean by 'stuck'? And what's with the random Japanese? Oh my god, is this an anime? Awesome! I am ready to accept my ninja powers, Hokage! I call firebending!

[kerorodearimasu]

Geeze, are all Pekoponians this dense? S-T-U-C-K. As in trapped and can't get out.

Pfft, great Naruto references. And for the last time, Avatar's not an anime, de arimasu! They just pulled off stuff based on it.

And I'm greater than a Hokage, de arimasu! I'm Sargent Keroro of the Keronian Army.

[You only wish you're that great, Keroro.]

[1800deadpoo]

S-T-U...hey, I don't suck! And whaddya mean by 'trapped'? This isn't some floating island again, is it?

Anime, animation, it's all the same thing! And where's your army, then? Never heard of ya.