XXIII ✟ [Text]

[17thfreewill]

It seems to have been over two months since I last used this; I suppose my saying something is long over-due with that in mind.
Although i'm not entirely sure what to say, I guess I truly am out of practice.

I suppose that I should make an effort to improve upon my recent fall.

Comments

[willdateforyen]

You really worried me.

I...missed you.

[17thfreewill]

[Kaworu lets out a small sigh before gently settling a hand on the girl's shoulder. This won't be easy to say without the full explanation.]

Where I shall return to, no one will be able to follow.

[willdateforyen]

[That was a little different then normal, not that she minded. Blinking curiously, Ai frowned while looking completely oblivious.]

Huh? Why not?

[17thfreewill]

[Ah. As he had suspected, this would indeed be more difficult that he had hoped.]

It's simply a place were I must go alone.

[willdateforyen]

[Why was it that she started remember that incident from previous months? Kaworu had transformed into something hard to describe. Ai had never had the courage to ask him what he was. Although from information she had gathered from asking others, Kaworu certainly didn't appear to be a normal human being.

Placing her own hand gently on top of the one he had resting on her shoulder, she sniffled a bit. Dammit, why did she always feel so aware of herself and her actions around him?]

But if Kaworu has no one to talk to and has to be lonely, that would be very sad. Out of all the places I'd like to be, I want to be with you the most.

[17thfreewill]

[Very slightly he tilted his head, bending down a little to make sure he had a decent enough view of Ai's face when she started to truly seem upset. Comforting wasn't exactly his strong point, the fact that he'd nearly ended up being hit for waving off a traumatic matter back in Tokyo-3 was proof enough of that.]

I would not want you to follow there. It would be like taking a small animal into a den of beings which wished to eat it.

[willdateforyen]

[She'd never hurt Kaworu, she didn't think of him as an affectionate person even if she wanted that. It wasn't like she had been truthfully affectionate most of her years either. Mostly it had been for money or to keep her parents off her back.

Ai felt a little surprised however when he bent down to look at her face. Her eyes expanded and she froze.]

But not literally, right? I mean...

[What kind of life did this nice boy lead back home?]

Kaworu? What are you?

[17thfreewill]

[Ah... There was the question that he had been dreading. It could inevitably go one of two ways, he would either be mistaken for something that he was not or feared and hated for his true nature. The girl in front of him was essentially asking for the very reason behind his whole act...

He sighed very slightly and took a small step back. Best to let her have the chance to flee if she chose and the room to block an anger fuelled outrage.]

I am what you saw before, simply held within a different form.

[willdateforyen]

[She didn't seem the least bit angry to hear him confess. It felt more like a relief to know that form he had taken wasn't an unfamiliar one to him. Pressing a hand against her chest, she swallowed hard. Reaching out gently with her other arm she attempted to grasp one of his arms softly and stroke it. Ai didn't exactly know why she did it, maybe to show she wanted to comfort him.]

What were you before? I've never seen anything even somewhat like that form.

[17thfreewill]

[Kaworu didn't particularly move away from or towards the touch, simply let it stay for however long Ai wanted to keep the contact. In truth he wasn't too sure why he felt so...down about letting the news out, it wasn't as though there were any Evas or pilots to stop him. Yet he almost felt as though he had let the girl down, like he hadn't lived up to expectations and could well cause another to be upset through his simple lack of experience.]

What I say to you now has to stay between simply us, things could become far more complicated than they already are.

[There was a pause as he seemed to almost sense whether there were any noticeable outside listeners. Noting nothing he continued.]

We wer-- are known as 'Angels'. Although how we act, what we're meant to do is far from tales of humans with feathered wings. Reunite with our mother, destroy the Lilim in the process and take back what was thought to be ours.

I suppose you could say that we're more like so called Demons than our given titles.

[willdateforyen]

[Ai listened intently. She was willing to accept it as the truth despite how her image of Kaworu had originally been quite different.]

I suppose I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm surprised at the truth. I've always just thought you were a normal human like me. That incident from before? I always just hoped it was some weird effect from being here and that's it. I...I always thought you were just the type of boy that if I ever went to school with you'd be smartest one and all the girls would like you because your kind and interesting to talk to.

I never thought it'd be obtainable to even talk to someone like that because of who I am and how I've lived my life...but...

I refuse to call you a demon. That's just not right. You don't strike me as bad, I'm sure your only doing what you need to do because you feel it's right.

[17thfreewill]

[He had to hold back a small laugh at the idea of being interesting to speak with. From experience he tended to come across as intimidating, knowing too much for comfort and being able to hit emotional points a little too well for one's liking. Still...]

I see no reason for why you shouldn't be able to speak to such people. You place yourself down far too greatly and truly, if one was patient enough to listen, i'm certain that they would find your background interesting and yourself as an individual to protect and simply be surrounded by.

[Oh yes. Diverting attention away from the uncomfortable topic of his own existence.]

[willdateforyen]

If I didn't know you any better, I think this is the time where I would tell you to stop making me blush like some junior high school girl.

[Wait a minute? Wasn't she in junior high? It seems she's forgotten with how much she plays hooky.]

There's no way I could talk to someone like you back home. If you went to my school, all the girls would tell me to stay as far away from you as possible probably. Crap, knowing them, if I even looked at you be accident I'd probably find myself thrown in a locked dumpster.

[At times like these, she really wished she was exaggerating. Because of how long it had been happening, she had sadly gotten used to it and didn't remember a time when bullying wasn't a problem for her. She could joke about these types of things.]

Don't worry, I don't intend to tell anyone. What kind of girl would I be if I couldn't keep a secret with the person I cherish most?

[17thfreewill]

That was not my intention.

[The concept of 'school' might well have been within his memory but he had absolutely no idea of context having never attended a day within his technical life. He simply had to look like an average student, the organisations brief teachers had been all he required. And even then he had simply been taught how to successfully complete his mission.]

I'm sure that you could if you simply had the opportunity to do so without an interruption from others. Sometimes you simply have to learn how to get around such people, rise above it so such a thing does not cause problems in later life.

And I am well aware that occasionally, when circumstances run high, people can say things which are otherwise intended to remain silent. Regardless of whether you believe that it will help me or not if such a situation crops up, it is not to be shared.

[willdateforyen]

Don't worry, It's not like I really mind even if it was your intention...Hah! But I would totally be dreaming to have something like that happen, huh?

[Pausing, she nodded.]

If there hadn't been certain obstacles, I'm sure I could of accomplished a lot more then I have. Maybe I'd even have a friend my own age to talk to. I've almost entirely forgotten how that feels like.

Kaworu. I'm not gonna, not ever. I like you a lot. A super bunch in fact...

[She'd like to say love instead of like but she's afraid to for the both of them. It never seems appropriate, despite her feelings.]

Um, I just couldn't do anything disloyal to you. I'd like to see Kaworu smile and laugh more often. Going around telling his secrets wouldn't help.

[17thfreewill]

[Kaworu listened very carefully before seemingly taking a few moments to turn everything over in his head. He seems to shake his head with a slight smirk playing on his face.]

You won't get very far in life if you won't live for yourself, Ai. One day you'll need to make a change, make things reality instead of a dream, overcome obstacles be they people or something else.

Otherwise you'll simply regret all of those missed chances.