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Fic: A Qualified Negotiator
Title: A Qualified Negotiator
Author: Erin (erinm_4600)
Characters, Pairing: ensemble (mention of Naomi and Samantha Wildman, Flotter, and a random race)
Rating: G
Summary: An incident on the Holodeck has a shocking repercussion... that just might save the day
Warning: pure late-Season 3 free-writing, no beta CRACK. I'm not even sorry.
Disclaimer: The original and current characters belong to Gene Roddenberry, CBS, UPN, Paramount, JJ Abrams, all the movie folks, the TV folks, and their respective actors. The OCs are mine.
Kathryn Janeway sunk into the chair at the head of the Ready Room table. In the other chairs, the members of her senior staff were also seated, waiting for the briefing to begin. "So," she drawled, "how are we going to work this?" Raising an eyebrow, she gave a look to each of them.
The regent of the planet below was willing to meet with the crew, but according to the representative, there were certain protocols that must be followed. Generally, everything was amenable, save one very specific demand: ancestral protocol said that both parties must be attendance with their spouses.
Unfortunately, at the moment, there were no married couples onboard Voyager.
"Well, technically," Tom started, but was quickly interrupted by Harry's throat being cleared. "I'm just sayin'," Tom mumbled. Kathryn looked between the two young men and shook her head.
"Harry?" she asked in that tone, raising an eyebrow. Harry glanced at her for a second, then back to the table, trying to ignore the look.
"They are referring to the fact that Commander Chakotay is, technically," Tuvok replied dully, "married." Everyone's eyes shot straight to Chakotay, who was glancing at the ceiling.
Kathryn sat forward, leaning her forearms against the table. "Oh, please tell me more, Chakotay." Her hand moved slightly, pointing between Tom and Harry. "And how do you two know about it?" she added, continuing to watch Harry.
He'd be the one to break first.
"It's nothing," Chakotay breathed, "Captain."
"Oh," Kathryn leaned back and crossed her arms, getting comfortable, "I disagree. Ensign?" she turned again to Harry.
"Naomi Wildman," Chakotay stated, seeing that Harry was starting to turn white as a sheet. Kathryn made a face and looked at her first officer.
"Flotter was the maid of honor," Tom mused. Kathryn's expression changed and she wagged a finger at Tom, begging him to stop before the mental image was seared into her brain.
"I thought I was your best friend, Chakotay," B'Elanna gasped. "How could you leave me out of such an important moment in your life?" She couldn't even hold a straight face when he turned to her. "Congratulations."
"It was a lovely ceremony," Neelix added.
"Stop," Kathryn ordered, pointing again to Tom and Harry. "How did you know about this?"
"Holodeck was triple-booked," Tom replied with a shrug. "Naomi got there first. She asked us to stay and help fight the dragon."
"And were you the dragon?" Kathryn shot to Chakotay with a smile.
"No. Tuvok and I were there to work on some new training scenarios for the crew."
"Tuvok fought a dragon?" Kathryn asked, amazed. Tuvok simply nodded.
"Why wasn't I invited to help fight a dragon?" B'Elanna pouted.
"And how exactly does all this end with marriage?" Kathryn prodded, motioning for someone to wrap up the story.
"Well, the story ends with a wedding," Tom replied, as if it was obvious. "I mean, a Vulcan wedding in front of a defeated dragon was a little weird, but," he trailed off, noting the look on the captain's face.
"Oh, Tuvok," Kathryn sighed, "you didn't."
Tuvok stared blankly and replied: "The easiest course of acting is not to act." Kathryn's eyes rolled back as her head dropped.
"What?" Tom asked, glancing at B'Elanna; who was looking at Chakotay; who was massaging his temple. Neelix let out a Talaxian curse as the realization hit Harry.
Tuvok had performed a legitimate Vulcan wedding ceremony.
A moment of silence passed before Tom spoke up. "Is this really so bad?" Everyone shot him a dirty look, but Tom was focused on Kathryn. "No, really. We have a way out of this."
"Mister Paris," Kathryn breathed, leaning against the table again, "are you seriously suggesting we let a child negotiate a treaty with the Hfoej?"
Tom raised his hand. "Has anyone at this table ever won an argument with Naomi?" His hand dropped as he glanced at the others. A few heads shook side to side, and there were a few grumbles in the negative.
When Tuvok's eyebrow went up, Tom squeaked and motioned to him with an open palm then glanced back at Kathryn. "Soon as we're out of Hfoej space, Tuvok can give them a Vulcan divorce and Samantha never has to know."
Kathryn's response was to simply lean forward and thump her head against the tabletop.
Author: Erin (erinm_4600)
Characters, Pairing: ensemble (mention of Naomi and Samantha Wildman, Flotter, and a random race)
Rating: G
Summary: An incident on the Holodeck has a shocking repercussion... that just might save the day
Warning: pure late-Season 3 free-writing, no beta CRACK. I'm not even sorry.
Disclaimer: The original and current characters belong to Gene Roddenberry, CBS, UPN, Paramount, JJ Abrams, all the movie folks, the TV folks, and their respective actors. The OCs are mine.
Kathryn Janeway sunk into the chair at the head of the Ready Room table. In the other chairs, the members of her senior staff were also seated, waiting for the briefing to begin. "So," she drawled, "how are we going to work this?" Raising an eyebrow, she gave a look to each of them.
The regent of the planet below was willing to meet with the crew, but according to the representative, there were certain protocols that must be followed. Generally, everything was amenable, save one very specific demand: ancestral protocol said that both parties must be attendance with their spouses.
Unfortunately, at the moment, there were no married couples onboard Voyager.
"Well, technically," Tom started, but was quickly interrupted by Harry's throat being cleared. "I'm just sayin'," Tom mumbled. Kathryn looked between the two young men and shook her head.
"Harry?" she asked in that tone, raising an eyebrow. Harry glanced at her for a second, then back to the table, trying to ignore the look.
"They are referring to the fact that Commander Chakotay is, technically," Tuvok replied dully, "married." Everyone's eyes shot straight to Chakotay, who was glancing at the ceiling.
Kathryn sat forward, leaning her forearms against the table. "Oh, please tell me more, Chakotay." Her hand moved slightly, pointing between Tom and Harry. "And how do you two know about it?" she added, continuing to watch Harry.
He'd be the one to break first.
"It's nothing," Chakotay breathed, "Captain."
"Oh," Kathryn leaned back and crossed her arms, getting comfortable, "I disagree. Ensign?" she turned again to Harry.
"Naomi Wildman," Chakotay stated, seeing that Harry was starting to turn white as a sheet. Kathryn made a face and looked at her first officer.
"Flotter was the maid of honor," Tom mused. Kathryn's expression changed and she wagged a finger at Tom, begging him to stop before the mental image was seared into her brain.
"I thought I was your best friend, Chakotay," B'Elanna gasped. "How could you leave me out of such an important moment in your life?" She couldn't even hold a straight face when he turned to her. "Congratulations."
"It was a lovely ceremony," Neelix added.
"Stop," Kathryn ordered, pointing again to Tom and Harry. "How did you know about this?"
"Holodeck was triple-booked," Tom replied with a shrug. "Naomi got there first. She asked us to stay and help fight the dragon."
"And were you the dragon?" Kathryn shot to Chakotay with a smile.
"No. Tuvok and I were there to work on some new training scenarios for the crew."
"Tuvok fought a dragon?" Kathryn asked, amazed. Tuvok simply nodded.
"Why wasn't I invited to help fight a dragon?" B'Elanna pouted.
"And how exactly does all this end with marriage?" Kathryn prodded, motioning for someone to wrap up the story.
"Well, the story ends with a wedding," Tom replied, as if it was obvious. "I mean, a Vulcan wedding in front of a defeated dragon was a little weird, but," he trailed off, noting the look on the captain's face.
"Oh, Tuvok," Kathryn sighed, "you didn't."
Tuvok stared blankly and replied: "The easiest course of acting is not to act." Kathryn's eyes rolled back as her head dropped.
"What?" Tom asked, glancing at B'Elanna; who was looking at Chakotay; who was massaging his temple. Neelix let out a Talaxian curse as the realization hit Harry.
Tuvok had performed a legitimate Vulcan wedding ceremony.
A moment of silence passed before Tom spoke up. "Is this really so bad?" Everyone shot him a dirty look, but Tom was focused on Kathryn. "No, really. We have a way out of this."
"Mister Paris," Kathryn breathed, leaning against the table again, "are you seriously suggesting we let a child negotiate a treaty with the Hfoej?"
Tom raised his hand. "Has anyone at this table ever won an argument with Naomi?" His hand dropped as he glanced at the others. A few heads shook side to side, and there were a few grumbles in the negative.
When Tuvok's eyebrow went up, Tom squeaked and motioned to him with an open palm then glanced back at Kathryn. "Soon as we're out of Hfoej space, Tuvok can give them a Vulcan divorce and Samantha never has to know."
Kathryn's response was to simply lean forward and thump her head against the tabletop.