Title: "Mother..."
Author: Erin (
erinm_4600)
Characters, Pairing: Jeb and, technically, Adora (mention of Cain, Zero, DG, Az, the Queen, Glitch, Raw, Tutor, the Papay, the Fighters of the Eastern Guild, various Longcoats, various Resistancers, and an OC named Andrew)
Rating: heavy-PG
Summary: Some people keep a journal. Jeb writes letters to his mother (and one on her order)
Warning: pre-, mid- and post-series. *Written for Table 10a at
10_letters, but the comm went AWOL before the request was accepted.
Disclaimer: The original characters belong to L. Frank Baum and their respective actors. The current characters belong to Sci-Fi, the movie folks and their respective actors. The OCs are mine.
Chore
Mister Andrew,
I am very sorry for ruining your carrot patch. I should not have pulled them up without asking you first.
Mother says that it was very nice of me to help you with your chores. But she says that I should have waited for you to ask for my help.
Father says that I am supposed to help you with any chores you want for as long as you see fit. But it will have to be chores that I don't have to sit down for.
If I put them back in the ground, will they finish growing?
Love
Mother,
By the time you find this, I'll be gone. I know you didn't want me to go with Andrew and the others, but I had to. You know that I can't sit still in that camp one more time, waiting for them to return. Andrew needs the help, and the whole point of this is to help. If we can rebuild a force against the Longcoats, we might have a chance. A chance to help the Zone get back to what it was.
I am not a child anymore, Mother. You and Father taught me to stand up for myself, and this is me standing up. It was the only thing I could think of to show you that I am ready.
Please forgive me.
I love you, Mother.
Elements
Mother,
I want to assure you that we are well. I am well. We managed to get out before Azkadellia and the Longcoats torched the fields.
It happened so fast. We could hear the barks of the Papay before we even knew there was a fire. And then this wind came out of nowhere and smoke surrounded us. It hurt to breathe, to open our eyes. The heat was unbearable. And then, thankfully, it began to rain.
I can't imagine that Azkadellia was very happy about that, but she can at least take comfort that the land will probably never recover. Once the flames died out, the rain stopped and the air cleared, we were able to see the damage.
Somehow, we managed to get out without losing any of the men. There were injuries, some severe burns. I can't drink water right now because it's too painful. But we are alive.
Unfortunately, most of the Papay weren't as lucky.
I promise you: I am fine.
Seasons
Mother,
The leaves have started to change. Another annual has passed and it feels like we're no closer to winning than before. I often wonder if the Zone could ever return to what it was before. Of course, I know that even before, the Zone had its problems. But I was too young to know that.
I hope that the children are still able to enjoy life. There is so much that they will have to deal with later on, and as long as they can hold on to the fun, let them. I often wish that I could go back to a time before, when my biggest worry was you finding out that I'd gone swimming instead of doing my chores.
Though, I'm fairly certain you knew every time.
We're running on a Longcoat camp in the morning. The fools made camp out in the open. Clearly, they aren't paying attention to where they are. I suppose it helps that we know the land so well, for we can appear and disappear before they even know what has happened.
I mustn't be optimistic. If the others see that I think it will be easy, they'll think it's easy and overconfidence leaves room for mistakes. What looks easy usually isn't. The new group is too young. These boys haven't lived long enough to be in this fight. Which is funny, because I realize that some of them are probably older than me.
Andrew says it will be snowing before we return. I think he's finally gone crazy.
I hope this finds you well.
Breath
Mother,
Andrew was right. As I write this, I can see my breath. Woke up this morning to a frost on the ground. The crunch under our boots doesn't exactly keep our location a secret. It isn't horribly cold - not like the Northern Island - but I was rather glad to find the gloves tucked into the bottom of my bag.
Thank you for putting them in there.
The raid on the Longcoat camp went as planned. I was worried as to how easy it was, but Andrew says not to dwell on the if and simply take the success. We had a few wounded, I'm going to assume they made it back to camp, or at least found some shelter along the way.
With the chill, I am sorely missing our afternoon tea. And our morning tea. It may be colder than I originally let on. The tea isn't the same out here. Andrew says it's the water. The younger men think it's funny that I drink a "girl's drink". Andrew told them to be careful, for they were insulting my mother, and then proceeded to have his own cup of tea.
It was worth the teasing, just to see their faces.
I hope you are well. Stay warm.
Itch
Mother,
Would you please see that all future groups leaving the camp are equipped with ointment? The youngest of our party were fooling around this morning and didn't notice they were in a patch of ivy. They've been complaining all morning.
If it isn't one thing, it's another, it seems. We've moved south again. The men want to go east, around the Papay fields, in order to stay away from Central City. Andrew knows why I'd rather risk going through the fields. If they insist on going east, I may take my chances alone.
Actually, I think I'd rather camp in Milltown.
After all these annuals, I shouldn't be afraid to go there. It's in the past and I shouldn't run from it. And, I think that I could do it; it's just a trick of the mind. And then I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach and I freeze up.
I wish I knew why.
Home soon.
Dream
Mother,
I had the strangest dream.
There was a girl, with eyes bluer than Father's. If that's possible. She said that Azkadellia wasn't the threat to the Outer Zone, but that she was. I haven't figured out why she was talking to a dog, though.
She was beautiful, and... it's hard to explain, but it felt like I knew her. Something about her reminded me of you. I can't imagine she is worse than Azkadellia, but, the look on her face... she put up a good front, but there was honest concern in her eyes.
Something horrible had happened.
We made it to the fork in the road, just north of the Papay fields. The place still hasn't recovered from the fire. We did hear some barks in the distance, but no one saw a Papay runner. I made it to the second curve in the path - the one near that old cabin that Father always said had a ghost - and...
I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. I just couldn't keep moving.
Andrew said I had no reason to apologize and, if he was in my place, he would have headed west before we even left the Northern Guild, and gone the long way around Central City.
He offered to travel with me, but I told him to stay with the others. Without him leading the way, they'll either end up as dinner for the Fighters or the Papay. I'm cutting through the Papay field. If I have to fend them off with all the food I have, I will. If I run out, well... let's hope I can run faster than them.
As long as the weather holds out - and they don't aggravate the Fighters - I expect to meet up with them at the Rip. We'll be in the Southern Guild tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Time
Mother,
I know you won't be able to read this, but writing you letters always seemed to make the days apart go faster. And, maybe, somehow, the words will get to you.
I found Father. Or he found me. We found each other.
We were on the road from the Realm to Central City, waiting to ambush the Longcoats and take back our men. And Zero was with them. And every bit of me wanted to kill him, then and there. But, I knew that we had to talk to him first.
I wanted him to remember me. To remember what he did to you. To know why he was going to die. I wanted him to fear it. To fear me.
And there was Father. Standing right in front of me, like he was overseeing a training exercise. I thought I might be going crazy, but he was there. He was a solid person. And, somehow, he'd managed to be captured by Zero's men.
The look on his face was... I don't even know what it was. Shock, mostly, I assume. Maybe some relief. Possibly even some pride.
I didn't know what to say to him, so I said nothing. I simply ordered everyone back to the camp and told the men to prepare Zero for interrogation. Zero wasn't telling us anything, in his usual manner. Father was traveling with a Viewer, and the man told us that Azkadellia had done something to block the knowledge.
Zero continued to speak and I just wanted him to stop. Once we'd gained what little useful information he had, I saw no point in keeping Zero alive. I had Andrew's sword in my hand and I was happy that I was about to pay him back for what he did to you.
Father stopped me. And, all of a sudden, I was angry. I was ready to kill Zero, I was glad to do it. And he was stopping me. And then I saw it. Shame.
He was ashamed of me. Of what I was about to do. Of what I've been doing half my life. Or maybe he's ashamed because I didn't protect you. Didn't rescue him.
He doesn't understand what that man did to you. To us. Zero deserves death, only because there is nothing worse. Keeping him alive only hurts more. But, killing him doesn't help, either.
You're still gone. And I'd give everything to be with you. I know you wouldn't want me to say that, but it's true. The Zone will never be better. I'd rather be where you are if we can't stop Azkadellia.
I don't know him. He doesn't know me. And he's acting like I'm still a child. The Zone has changed. I've changed.
I wish people would stop asking me questions. Just five minutes. I don't even know what I'm doing any more. I never wanted to be in charge. But, someone has to make the decisions and no one else was going to do it. Andrew trusted me to take care of these people and I'm doing my best. But I fear that my best will never be enough.
Father and the Viewer said that there is more to the story than we know. There is another man with them - a headcase - and he keeps asking about some girl. All three of them are worried about her, and they've been talking about going back to the Realm to find her.
We're still planning to run on the tower. It's foolish not to, as every Longcoat in the Outer Zone will be there. Many of the Resistance members think it's a suicide mission. But we have to try. Andrew always said that it only takes one person to turn the fight.
I miss you.
Hate
Mother,
I woke up this morning to find Zero was gone. My first thought wasn't even that he had escaped.
It was that Father had killed him in the night. As I moved to where he was sleeping - he barely spoke to me yesterday and slept near the edge of the camp - I was ready to punch him. It's probably for the best that you kept me from ever learning how to use a gun, because I might have shot him.
I was so angry. Why did he get to kill Zero, when I couldn't? I'm not a child, yet he is going to treat me as one?
He led me out of the camp, calm as ever - like he was simply taking a walk - and pointed to the iron suit. Zero was inside.
I hadn't though of that. Probably because the idea of putting a human being into one of those things makes me sick. He told me that it would have to do, until we stopped Azkadellia, and that he hoped it would settle me.
I told him that, while it wasn't quite what I wanted - that would be Zero, dead - you would have approved. And then he tried to be all... fatherly and it was strange. I made up an excuse of having to get back to the camp, but ended up cutting around the back and walking deeper into the woods.
As soon as I was sure that I was far enough away, I threw up. Haven't done that since Andrew died.
And I know that you wouldn't have approved of what Father did. But you also wouldn't have wanted him to kill Zero. To make things even more confusing, Father left in a hurry, with his friends, a little while later.
...I lied to you yesterday, when I said that I didn't know Father and he didn't know me.
I don't even know me.
Uncertain
Mother,
It's over.
Father and his friends met up with us just before we arrived at the edge of the Western Guild. The girl they had been looking for was with them. It was the girl from my dream; the one I told you about, a few annuals back.
It sounds crazy, I know. But it was her.
She's Azkadellia’s sister. She's been living... somewhere else. The Queen sent her away so that she could return to help stop Azkadellia.
Only, it seems it wasn't Azkadellia. I don't understand it, but Father says I have to accept that the woman who has been ruining the lives of the entire Zone isn't to blame. I don't understand how he can say that, when she was the one who ordered him into the suit.
Well, she probably didn't specifically order him into the suit, but you understand what I mean.
Father put me in front of the Queen this evening. I was given a commendation, in the name of the Resistance, for never giving up on the Zone. I don’t understand why, because there are still many things to be done.
We still have men in prison, families without homes and crimes that require someone pay. And everyone is acting like it was just a game and everyone is free to go home until another day.
I don't know what to do. I have no home to go to. I just don't know that I can go back to that cabin after what happened. But I want to be where you are. I just... can't.
Father says he is keeping his word and returning for Zero, then escorting him to Central City. I have this horrible feeling that things are going to get worse. What if the Queen simply lets the Longcoats walk away? I can't forget what has happened. Someone should pay, right?
This will not end well.