Star Wars: Jacen Solo & Ben Skywalker--"Pain of Consequence" (fic)
Title: Pain of Consequence
Author: angel_gidget
Set + Theme: #2; fling, one-night stand
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing(platonic): Jacen Solo & Ben Skywalker
Rating: PG
Genre(s): Drama/Angst
Warning(s): n/a
Word Count: 570
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the galaxy.
Summary: Fanfic. Ben's thoughts as he gazes down at the newest member of the family.
Pain of Consequence
Fling. One-night stand. Ben Skywalker is too young to fully understand what these words mean, but he knows that they can’t be good. He’s heard his father’s friends--the rogues--talk about them. Sometimes they--whatever they are--involve cunning and calculation to arrange them. Sometimes they happen spontaneously. But no matter how they begin, they always end the same way. Somebody leaves someone and never looks back. Even if Ben doesn’t really know what a one-night stand is, he knows what it is to be left alone.
He’s heard that sometimes women have babies after those temporary flings. The father goes away, and the mother cares for the baby all on her own. The baby has only half a set of parents, and that makes things twice as hard. Ben has both his parrents, and he knows that things are hard enough as it is. His mother and father love each other and they love him, but sometimes he gets left alone anyway. They are the Skywalkers, and their life is dangerous. Ben knows that he’s left behind for his own saftey, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is left behind.
He looks down into a richly ornate bassinet. He sees a tiny baby girl there. Her name is Allana, and he doesn’t need the Force to know that she is Jacen’s. As he looks down, he feels a rotting sense of betrayal sink low into his belly.
Because Jacen Solo, his cousin, his idol, has had a one-night stand. The result of that fling is sweet baby Allana. The thought that Jacen, perfect Jacen, would leave such a little girl to brave the cold years with a hunted one-armed mother...Ben feels part of his heart break. Jacen has snapped off a corner of it. He can feel it.
Ben listens to his older cousin protest. He loves Tenel Ka, he says, that’s all that matters. But Ben knows that love isn’t enough. Love doesn’t make people stay. His parrents love him, but they always leave him with someone else. His cousin Jaina has loved many men, but has never remained with any of them. Jacen may love Allana, but he will not raise her. He has let go of that right. He has not claimed Tenel Ka as his, has not bound himself to her. He may come and see her again, her and Allana, but it will not be for a long time and it will not be often. He will slave away on missions and Jedi duties without pause. He will have to, he will have no excuse not to. He will not be able tell his uncle Luke that he needs a break to see his wife and child; he won’t be able to claim that he must see his family. He cannot ask to see what his not his to see.
Being left behind hurts. Ben knows that these thoughts and emotions are all connected and that they are profound. But Ben in young, and can never seem to get the depth of what he feels put properly into words. He feels concerned. Dissapointed. Sorrowfull. Yet when he speaks, he hides his hurt behind wide eyes and an insulting smile. He can’t help sounding like the child he is.
“But you’re not married--and you had a baby! You guys are gonna be in so much trouble!”
- . e . n . d . -
I've made a table HERE.
Author: angel_gidget
Set + Theme: #2; fling, one-night stand
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing(platonic): Jacen Solo & Ben Skywalker
Rating: PG
Genre(s): Drama/Angst
Warning(s): n/a
Word Count: 570
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the galaxy.
Summary: Fanfic. Ben's thoughts as he gazes down at the newest member of the family.
Pain of Consequence
Fling. One-night stand. Ben Skywalker is too young to fully understand what these words mean, but he knows that they can’t be good. He’s heard his father’s friends--the rogues--talk about them. Sometimes they--whatever they are--involve cunning and calculation to arrange them. Sometimes they happen spontaneously. But no matter how they begin, they always end the same way. Somebody leaves someone and never looks back. Even if Ben doesn’t really know what a one-night stand is, he knows what it is to be left alone.
He’s heard that sometimes women have babies after those temporary flings. The father goes away, and the mother cares for the baby all on her own. The baby has only half a set of parents, and that makes things twice as hard. Ben has both his parrents, and he knows that things are hard enough as it is. His mother and father love each other and they love him, but sometimes he gets left alone anyway. They are the Skywalkers, and their life is dangerous. Ben knows that he’s left behind for his own saftey, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is left behind.
He looks down into a richly ornate bassinet. He sees a tiny baby girl there. Her name is Allana, and he doesn’t need the Force to know that she is Jacen’s. As he looks down, he feels a rotting sense of betrayal sink low into his belly.
Because Jacen Solo, his cousin, his idol, has had a one-night stand. The result of that fling is sweet baby Allana. The thought that Jacen, perfect Jacen, would leave such a little girl to brave the cold years with a hunted one-armed mother...Ben feels part of his heart break. Jacen has snapped off a corner of it. He can feel it.
Ben listens to his older cousin protest. He loves Tenel Ka, he says, that’s all that matters. But Ben knows that love isn’t enough. Love doesn’t make people stay. His parrents love him, but they always leave him with someone else. His cousin Jaina has loved many men, but has never remained with any of them. Jacen may love Allana, but he will not raise her. He has let go of that right. He has not claimed Tenel Ka as his, has not bound himself to her. He may come and see her again, her and Allana, but it will not be for a long time and it will not be often. He will slave away on missions and Jedi duties without pause. He will have to, he will have no excuse not to. He will not be able tell his uncle Luke that he needs a break to see his wife and child; he won’t be able to claim that he must see his family. He cannot ask to see what his not his to see.
Being left behind hurts. Ben knows that these thoughts and emotions are all connected and that they are profound. But Ben in young, and can never seem to get the depth of what he feels put properly into words. He feels concerned. Dissapointed. Sorrowfull. Yet when he speaks, he hides his hurt behind wide eyes and an insulting smile. He can’t help sounding like the child he is.
“But you’re not married--and you had a baby! You guys are gonna be in so much trouble!”
- . e . n . d . -
I've made a table HERE.